BOOK II - CHAPTER XXIII - Christian and Anastasia FanFiction

...I would have to tell you: you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love... I love... I love you. And I never wish to be parted from you from this day on. (Fitzwilliam Darcy)

CHAPTER XXIII

I look at the flashing “Yes” in my hand, as if it’s saying Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! in constant reiteration that Anastasia is finally agreeing to marry me. Is it too good to be true? Is she really going to marry me? My breath catches, my heart silences as I look at her hesitantly. I want to hear it from her own lips.

“Does this mean you’ll marry me?”

She nods in response. She looks anxious, blushing and tentative. Please, let this be real!

“Say it,” I order in a barely audible voice; my whole body is intense, tuned in to hear her response, to observe her reaction. I want to hear her declaration that she too, wants me. 

“Yes, I’ll marry you.”



These four words strung together makes up the most important sentence I have ever heard in my life! It’s the one that gives me hope, gives me life, and gives me a future. Gives me myself back, making me a whole person! There’s not enough air to fill me up, to satisfy this yearning I have for her. She said yes! She said YES! To me! Oh sweet mother of God! I sweep Anastasia off the floor and swing her around, laughing ecstatically with pure undiluted joy! I have had the worst day of my life, the shittiest ever to begin with, and came face to face with death today; yet I would have lived through fifty of those just to hear her say “Yes,” to me, like she did right now! 

You know how some men say they’re the happiest man on earth because their proposal was accepted by the object of their affection. They may be happy in their own way, but, with me, there are no words to describe the joy I’m feeling right now. I want to laugh and cry at the same breath, I feel all my worries lifted as if the hand of God swept down and said, “Be gone!” I love her better than I love myself! I want to love her till this yearning is gone in me. I put her down, and hold her tight and kiss her with all the love and desire I’ve got. I hold her face steady in my hands, my tongue dips into her mouth like Conan the Barbarian ready to conquer, ready to arouse her to her core. I consume her lips; my kiss is insistent, demanding, wanting her. “Oh, Ana,” I breathe against her lips. My desire for her, my overwhelming love is leaving me helpless; nothing short of branding myself in her would ease this yearning. 

“Christian, I really thought I lost you,” whispers Anastasia, holding onto me. She too wants to feel my presence. There is nothing hotter, sexier and more desirable than a woman who is in love with you and you with her. I don’t want anything to worry her, not my close encounter with death, nothing should eclipse this elation. All that matters is that we are together now, holding each other, and she just consented to be my wife! 

“Baby, a malfunctioning EC135 wouldn’t be able to keep me away from you,” I say looking into her eyes reassuring.

“EC135?”

“Charlie Tango is a Eurocopter EC135. It’s rated as the safest helicopter in its class,” I say with unease. It is the safest in its class, and because of those very safety features, I managed to land her. But losing both engines at the same time, and losing some of the electronics smell like foul play. That worries me. It couldn’t be Leila. She’s safely being treated in a mental health facility. Who then would make an attempt on my life? I have quite a few admirers, but a lot of possible enemies. I don’t want to think about them right now though. I want to enjoy the moment. I want to experience this moment fully. 

Even when I close my eyes, I see the flashing “Yes!” on the key chain. Best birthday present I have ever received. It was a long and arduous wait to open it though. Long wait! I look at the flashing “Yes!” on the key chain I’m holding in my hand. Wait a minute! She gave me this before we met Dr. Flynn. What isn’t she telling me? I frown trying to decipher the meaning of why she would do that and look down at her. 

“Wait a second. You gave me this present before you and I went to see Flynn,” I say holding up the key chain. She only nods with an impassive face. What? She knew the answer before she and I went to see Flynn? She was going to marry me anyway? Flynn didn’t influence her decision one way or the other? What does it mean? I’m shocked. What if she’s made the wrong decision?

She only shrugs, “I gave that to you before we saw Dr. Flynn, because I wanted you to know that whatever he said wouldn’t make a difference to me, Christian,” she says. 

I scratch my forehead, blinking several times in disbelief. “You knew I was begging you all yesterday evening for an answer. I had an answer already?” She toyed with me like a cat with a mouse. Had she opened up my heart and looked into it, she would have seen that I was at the verge of a breakdown, worried sick that she would leave me, and perhaps she didn’t love me enough to marry me. Oh Miss Steele, I can certainly pay in kind. I narrow my eyes on her. She had me begging, I was ready to do whatever it took for her to say yes, to me. 

“You know how worried I was,” I say, and she shrugs apologetically. Oh baby, that ain’t gonna do it! “Miss Steele, don’t you try to get cute with me. Right now, I want to...” fuck you into next Sunday! Fuck you into submission! But, I can’t do that. She has all the power over me; the only person who can really hurt me. That one answer she didn’t give me worried the life out of me, for God’s sake! 

“I can’t believe you left me hanging without an answer,” I say but, if anyone knows how to get even, it would be me. Sweet revenge... Yes, I know exactly what to do. Wicked, but appropriate. I give her a lascivious smile. Her eyes gleam with the changing of my expression. 

“Oh, Miss Steele, I think some retribution is in order.”

She bites her lip, and takes a step back as if she’s going to take flight. I’ll play Anastasia! She makes me grin, “Is that the game, baby? Because if so, I will,” I say emphasizing, “catch you.” I am like a tiger focused on its prey. My eyes are fixed on her, my desire is set to ‘fuck-all-night’ and she is being playful. “To top that, baby, you are biting your lip,” I say in a threatening voice. Nothing will stop me from having my way with her. She takes another step back, and turns around to run, but within two strides I catch her, swoop her off the floor, and hoist her on my shoulder while she’s squealing in excitement. 

“Christian!” she tries to admonish me in a sharp whisper remembering our house guest. She tries to hold onto my torso, her ponytail is hanging upside down and touching my back. Then she does the unexpected. She swats my ass! Baby you only get me hotter with that; I swat her sweet derrière right back, harder, making her yelp. I’m turned on hotter than a Phoenix summer! One way to cool things down!

“Shower time,” I say, making my way into my room. 

“Put me down!” she says struggling on my shoulder, but I know she’s excited because she can’t stop giggling. We’re going to go into the shower fully dressed; I want to peel the wet clothes off of her. Thinking how in love Ros was with her shoes, “Are you fond of these shoes?” I ask Anastasia as I open the shower door. 

“Yes! And I prefer them to be touching the floor,” she says, trying to sound angry, but fails miserably. 

“Well then, Miss Steele, your wish is my command,” I say and pull her shoes off her feet and let them fall onto the bathroom floor. I take out my drained Blackberry, wallet, the “Yes!” key chain, and my keys. And I walk into the shower with Anastasia on my shoulder, and amidst her shrieking protests of “Christian!” I turn the shower on at max.  As the cold water beats down on her backside, she squeals, but somehow she manages to subside her voice, possibly thinking of her friend’s presence here. Frankly, I could care less. In fact, I’m doing this on purpose. I want everyone to know who she belongs to, who makes her scream in delight, and who brings her to the peaks of ecstasy... Yep, you get the idea; she’s my woman! 

We’re both drenched in water, and she continues to squeal and giggle. “No! Christian, put me down!” she says amidst her giggles, and swats me harder on my ass. I let her slide down my completely drenched body. Both of our clothes are soaked, and stuck to our bodies. She’s wet all the way through to her panties, just the way I like it... I grin down at her and the realization finally hits me fully: I’m home with her, and she’s consented to be my wife... My wife! Mrs. Christian Grey!

She will take me as her husband, and I have but all my love and life which I will devote to her till my last breath. She is here with me... despite all my fuckeduppedness. She loves me! Me! This insignificant man! I’m in awe of her, in her captivity. This is an ever consuming, inconvenient, can’t-live-without-her kind of love! My love for her is sometimes tender, sometimes rough, sometimes rude, sometimes unrestrained, sometimes vociferous, but it is soul binding at all times. I love her madly, but my love is not blind! It gave me a new vision in which I see the one who is most worthy of my love, it’s as if there is a secret place where this one person holds the key, and until she unlocks it, even I, the host of that secret place wasn’t aware of its existence. By unlocking my heart, she discovered me! I see her clearly, see into her soul and her love is my privilege. 

I cup her face in my hands again, sealing our lips once more, kissing her gently, and adoring. When we kiss, it feels as if I’m reading her soul. She becomes my whole universe, and the moment, until I run out of breath becomes eternal. It is both surrendering myself to her and conquering her at the same time; it’s both of our final surrender to each other. In ancient times lovers believed that a kiss would unite two souls, because the spirit of a person is carried in one’s breath. I sure hope so, because right now, I no longer care about anything else, but the two of us in this moment, and this kiss under the cascading water. 

Anastasia’s hands move to my shirt clinging to my body, and she forces the hem out of my pants, and her passion makes me groan in to her mouth with our ongoing kiss, and I am a man on fire. She reciprocates to my groans by trying to rip the shirt apart. The buttons fly every which direction in her effort to undress me. My hands go to her dress, and her effort to get me naked hampers my efforts to undress her. She manages to get my shirt down to my arms, but the cufflinks are on the way. I hold my wrists up with my sodden shirt hanging heavily dripping, and she takes off the cufflinks with shaky fingers and just drops them on the tile. 

My eyes are unblinking and carnal, lascivious, desirous for her, watching her every move under the cascading water. Her fingers reach up to my pants, but I shake my head telling her no. It’s my turn. She is overdressed. As I grab her shoulders, I turn her around, and zip her dress down. I pull her wet hair away from her neck and run my tongue over her wet neck to her hairline and back, nipping, kissing, and sucking back and forth. She moans in pleasure. 

I slowly peel her dress off her shoulders down below her breasts, and keep kissing her beneath her ear and over her neck. I unhook her bra, and as I slide it off her shoulders, her breasts springs free perking up under the cascading water. God! She is so fucking hot! My hands reach out and cup them in my palms. I can’t help but whisper how beautiful they are. She’s semi restrained by her bra and her dress hanging down her arms. She rolls her head to the side allowing me to have greater access to her neck, and push her breasts into my welcoming hands. Her hands are free enough, and she reaches behind her, and her palm cups my erection, making me catch my breath. Her touch is fiery, magical, and explosive. Even the smallest touch from her makes my half-cocked gun to get into shooting position. I push my hips into her hands, and enjoy her caresses as I tug on her nipples. They elongate and harden and stretch under my fingers. And her hands seize their delicious assaults on my cock to enjoy my hands on her breasts. She leans her head back to me and groans in pleasure. 

“Yes, baby,” I say, and turn her back to me; my lips capture hers once again. As my lips consume her, and my tongue assaults her mouth and does its tango with hers, I peel her bra, dress, and panties off her, and kick the soggy heap of clothes aside.

Anastasia takes the body wash, and I know that she wants to wash me. She looks at me firmly in the eye, and squirts some of the body wash into her palms, and lather. She then holds her hands up in front of my chest making her intention clear to me. A small breath escapes my lips, my eyes wide, unblinking. But I’ve desired, and yearned for her all day. In fact, I thought I’d never see her again for about 8 minutes of my life. I want this. I want to reaffirm that I’m alive and that I’m with her. I swallow, and make a small o, and exhale the breath I’ve been holding, and take another breath in. I nod my head so subtly; if you blinked you could miss it.

Anastasia’s hands find their way to my sternum and she rubs the soap over my chest. This is Anastasia! I want this! I need this! I need this! I...need...this! Breathe in, breathe out. My lips part, my chest rises, and falls as my breathing increases. But I’m firmly planted in my place.

“Is this alright?” she asks in a whispering voice.

“Yes.” I gasp. Yes. Because, I’m alive! I’m with her. It’s okay. Her hands go in small caressing circles. Loving. She holds my arms up, and washes my underarms, and then her gentle fingers glide over my ribs, and my belly, then home free. She moves onto my happy trail, and to my waistband. 

If I allow her to touch anything near my cock, I will explode, and I want this to last for a long time. “It’s my turn now, baby,” I whisper, and take the shampoo. Squirting some on top of her head, I start washing her hair. She hooks her fingers into my waistband. I love the way she connects herself to me. I massage her scalp, deep and long. She groans, closing her eyes. She submits her head to my hands, completely relaxed, moaning, her eyes closed. I find myself smiling at her reaction. “You like?” I ask.

“Hmmm...” is her response, making me grin. “As do I, baby,” I say leaning in and kissing her forehead as I continue to massage and knead her scalp, thoroughly washing it. 

“Turn around,” I order. I put a little more shampoo, and wash her hair in long ringlets. I enjoy playing with her hair. Once I lather it thoroughly I pull her under the water again. 

“Lean your head back baby,” I order. She leans her head back, and I rinse her hair out free of suds. They make rivulets running lazing on her back to her legs, finally down to the shower floor. Once I’m done with her hair, she attacks my pants like a hungry bear. 

“I want to wash all of you,” she manages to say in a whisper. She wants me. Who am I to object? I lift my hands in surrender. 

“I’m all yours baby,” I say grinning. Do what you want. She unzips my pants, lowering it along with my boxers in one swift move like there is no tomorrow. My erection greets her.  She takes the sponge and the body wash, her gaze is fixed on my erection that’s yearning for her touch.

“Well Mr. Grey, it looks like you’re quite pleased to see me,” she murmurs.

“Oh Miss Steele, you have no idea. I’m always pleased to see you,” I say smirking. 

After she lathers the sponge, she traces the sponge over my chest and down to my belly. Her hands are pleased to move to my happy trail, and as if she’s going for the grand prize, she goes over my pubic hair, and all over my cock saluting her at full attention. God, I want this woman! I look at her with nothing but sensual and pure carnal desire. Her eyes locked with mine, and she drops the sponge unceremoniously, and grasps my cock with both hands firmly. The first slide of her hands awaken all my senses traveling into my groin and ringing bells all over my body before it reaches to my brain. I close my eyes to enjoy it, tip my head back and close my eyes. She starts sliding her hands up and down my length again firmly grasping. I groan and automatically thrust my hips into her waiting hands. Christ! I want to her fuck here against the shower wall and I don’t have a condom! Oh, wait. It is Saturday! The wait is over! My eyes open wide, burning with hot desire, I lock gazes with her. 

“It’s Saturday!” I exclaim, and grasping her waist I pull her to me. I have nothing barred, and kiss her ferally like a brute. I was holding all this time to make it to bed within the reach of the nearest condom, but, it’s fucking Saturday! I don’t need one! My hands are all over her wet body. Wet inside and out! My fingers find her sex, exploring, teasing her, finger fucking her. My mouth is on hers like Alexander the Great conquering Asia Minor, relentless, leaving nothing untouched. My other hand wraps her hair around and hold her in place to give her the full force of my desire, nothing barred, everything unleashed. When my fingers dip into her sex, she moans into my mouth. “Ahhh!” 

“Yes, baby,” I hiss through my teeth, and lifting her off the floor, holding her ass in my hands, “wrap your legs around me baby,” I order. Her legs snake around me as her arms cling to my neck like a spider monkey. Her eyes closed. I hold her against the cold shower wall.

“Open your eyes. I want to see you,” I say. I want to experience every pleasure that goes through her, every orgasm she gets. I want to see it in her eyes. She blinks up at me, and her desire for me crosses through her eyes. She’s hungry for me, hungry for what I can give her. With our gazes locked, my cock slides into her inch by inch claiming her from within. There’s nothing between us, skin to skin connection.  My cock, in her wet sex! She does the sexiest thing. She pushes down against me, letting me fill her fully, opening her doors up, and welcoming me. This is my woman!

“You are mine, Anastasia Steele!” I declare firmly.

“Always,” she replies. I smile like a conqueror, shifting my cock, and pushing it in deeper again. She gasps.

“And now I want to let the whole world know, because you said yes,” I say in veneration. My lips capture hers, sucking and teasing, and kissing, and probing as my cock starts moving in slow, paced, and easy movements. She closes her eyes and tilts her head back lost in sensation her body surrendering to me, enjoying the slow rhythm.  My teeth graze her jaw and her chin and she arches her neck further, and my teeth move down to her neck, and now I want this woman every fucking way! I pick up my pace, moving faster, harder, thrusting upward. She’s matching my movements, submitting, giving her all, reaffirming that we are here together, as one body, and nothing else in the universe exists at this moment. We are completely absorbed in each other, fucking, making love, moaning, gasping, and grunting. All of a sudden Anastasia clings to me harder, pushes herself down onto my cock allowing me to reach to the deepest points of her sex, and her orgasm ripples through her body, through her sex, rippling and contracting around my cock trying to draw it even further, squeezing, and milking as she’s shouting my name, tears raining down her cheeks. Her orgasm pushes me to my limits and I reach my climax explosively and pour everything into her as my face is buried in her neck, I feel both of our orgasms ripple into each other going on and on. I find myself sinking to the floor holding her tightly to myself, and kissing her tears away, kissing her soft lips. And the water washes away the last of our residual worries like an ablution. 

(Everytime We Touch) 

We sit on the shower floor like this water cascading over us.  “My fingers are pruny,” murmurs Anastasia absently still completely replete from our lovemaking, her head is against my chest, and that’s exactly where I want it. I take her fingers, and kiss each and every one of them.

“We should really get out of the shower,” I remind her. I want her in my bed. 

“Yet, I’m comfortable here,” she replies. She’s encased between my legs, close to me. I’m comfortable holding her. The dream of her in my arms kept me focused, helped me get home. Then out of the blue, Anastasia starts giggling. The most beautiful sound in the world.

“Why Miss Steele, is something amusing you?” I ask affectionately. 

“It’s been a busy week,” she replies. How right you are baby.

“That it has,” I reply.

“I thank God you’re back in one piece, Christian,” she whispers in a shudder. I immediately tense remembering what might have been. How terrified I was with the prospect of never seeing her again, that someone else might claim her. I worried about that more than losing my own life. 

“I was scared,” I confess in a low voice.

“Earlier?”

I can only nod in response, remembering. 

“So, you just made light of it to reassure your family?”

“Yes,” I acknowledge. “We were too low to land well, but somehow I did.” 

Her eyes quickly sweep up and she looks alarmed. “How close a call was it Christian?” she asks, wanting to know. 

It was closer than close. It’s a miracle that we’re alive. 

“It was, close,” I say pausing, remembering the agony of having lost to her. Never holding her again in my arms... Never loving her! It frightened the hell out of me. “For a few awful seconds, I thought I’d never see you again,” I confess.

She hugs me in a steel grip. “I can’t imagine my life without Christian. I love you so much, it scares me,” she says mirroring my feelings for her. 

“Me, too, baby. My life without you would be empty,” I say pausing. I would be empty. “I love you so much,” I say tightening my arms around her, as I nuzzle her hair. “I won’t ever let you go.”

(When you are Dreaming with a Broken Heart by John Mayer) 

 

Anastasia has been in every prospect I have ever seen since I met her. She has been the embodiment of every daydream that my mind has ever become acquainted with. In fact, nothing is more real than her in my life. 

“I don’t ever want to go,” she whispers, tired with droopy eyes, and kisses my neck. I lean down and kiss her gently. I shift to move. 

“Come on, baby, let’s get you dry, and into the bed. I’m completely exhausted and you look beat.” 

She looks up at me with an arched quizzical eyebrow in reaction to my choice of ‘beat’. 

“You have something to say Miss Steele?” I ask, and she shakes her head in response, and stumbles on her shaky feet. 

I turn the shower water off. We quickly dry with warmed towels. I carry Anastasia to bed and sit her up. I want to dry her hair. I don’t want her getting sick. With a warmed up towel, I thoroughly dry her hair. As I lay her under the sheets, I gaze down at my fiancée. Yes, she’s my fiancée; I quite like the sound of that. But, I like the sound of “wife” so much better. I take the key chain into my hands before climbing into bed. I shake my head; I can’t believe this little key chain is the key to my happiness.

“This is so neat. It’s the best birthday present I’ve ever had,” I say looking into her eyes warmly. “It’s better than my signed Guiseppe DeNatale poster,” I say grinning. 

(Woke Up This Morning by Alabama 3) 

“I would have told you earlier, but as it was your birthday... What do you give the man who has everything? I thought I’d give you... well, me.” 

That she did, and she’s the best present I’ve ever had. I put the key chain on the side table, and slip into the bed; I pull her into my arms, and we are spooning. 

“It’s completely perfect. Just like you.” 

“I’m far from perfect, Christian,” she replies. And I know she’s smirking. She can’t hide from me.

“Are you smirking at me Miss Steele?” I ask

“Maybe,” she answers giggling. “Can I ask you something Christian?”

“Of course, baby,” I say nuzzling her neck. 

“You didn’t call on your trip back from Portland. Was that really because of Jose? Were you just worried about me being here alone with him?” she asks. I don’t want this to backfire on me. Yes, that’s why I just hurried to get back home. But, I don’t want to incriminate myself. She turns around and looks at me, reproachful. 

“Do you know how ridiculous that is, Christian? Do you realize how much stress you put me and your family through? We all love you very much,” she says chiding. 

I never realized that everyone would be so worried about me. I blink a few times. “I just had no idea you would all be so worried,” I reply. 

“Oh, Christian, when will you get it through your thick skull that you are loved? Very much so...” She says.

“Thick skull, you say Miss Steele?” I say surprised. 

She nods. “Yes, Mr. Grey, your thick skull.” 

“Well, I don’t think the bone density of my head is significantly higher than anywhere else in my body,” I respond.

“I’m quite serious. Stop trying to make me laugh. I’m still a little mad at you, thought that’s partially eclipsed by the fact that you’re home and safe and sound when I thought...” she says almost choking on her words. After a beat she continues, “...well, you know what I thought.” 

I reach up to her, in complete awe of her love for me. I caress her cheek. “I’m sorry. Okay.” I respond. 

“Your poor mom, too. It was very moving to see you with her,” she whispers. 

I smile remembering. My mother had always respected the boundaries I have built around me, and we’ve never had this sort of connection. “I’ve never seen her that way. Yes, that really was something. My mother’s normally so self-possessed. Seeing her like that was quite a shock.”

“See, Christian? Everyone loves you,” she says smiling. “Perhaps now you’ll start believing,” she says and leans down and kisses me. 

“Happy birthday, Christian! I’m so glad you’re here to share your day with me. And you haven’t seen what I’ve got for you tomorrow...” she says remembering that it’s already the next day. “Uhm... I guess it’s today,” she amends herself smirking. 

What? She’s got something else lined up? She manages to shock me at every turn. What can top the present she just gave me? “There’s more?” I ask in astonishment. I grin ear to ear.

“Oh yes, Mr. Grey, there’s more. But you will have to wait until then,” she says.  I kiss her softly, sweetly, completely elated. 

“Goodnight baby, sleep now. I love you,” I say.

“I love you too, Christian,” she smiles. I turn the light off.

*****

“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—for your love is more delightful than wine.” Song of Solomon 1:2

(Sweet Dreams)

*****

I wake up with the feeling of absence. My hands search for her, and come up empty. Anastasia isn’t here. The morning lights are seeping through the window. I miss her, I want her. Where is my girl? I get up, and put my low hanging pajama bottoms on, and no t-shirt. I’m sure Jose the admirer would be up and around. I want him to see what Anastasia is getting. I slowly make my way into the living area. Voices are coming from the kitchen. One of them is Anastasia’s, the other Jose’s. 

“Some view from up here,” Jose says. I listen. 

“Yeah. It’s pretty special. Want a real man’s breakfast?” she asks him in a teasing voice. Teasing? Why the hell is she teasing him?

“Love some,” he responds. Sure he does! Fucker!

“It’s Christian’s birthday today. I’m making him breakfast in bed,” says Anastasia. My heart melts. She wants to do something special for me. 

“Is he awake?” Yes, I am fucker!

“No, I think he’s fried from yesterday,” she says. I hear her open the fridge and take something out. 

“You really like him, don’t you?” he asks finally spilling the beans, getting to his main concern. I’m curious to hear her candid answer as well.

“I love him, Jose,” she responds with genuine sincerity in her voice. Reverence even. Now, I feel sorry for the fucker, but not that much. I just wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of the response. It’s her rejection of him. But he comes back to her in a mocking response: “What’s not to love?” he asks gesturing around my apartment. 

Anastasia responds scowling. “Gee, thanks!” If I knew Anastasia wouldn’t protest, I’d be kicking the fucker out of my house for the way he was speaking to her. 

“Hey, sorry Ana, just kidding,” he says chagrined. Anastasia doesn’t respond. I know that scowling silence. She’s mad and disappointed.

“Seriously, I’m kidding. You’ve never been that kind of girl.” Hearing that from his mouth, makes me somehow elated. My girl really is an angel. One of a kind. I love her for it. 

 

“Omelet good for you?” she asks him. 

“Sure,” replies Jose. 

“And me,” I say making my way into the room. He capitalized my woman’s time enough. Anastasia’s eyes widen when she sees me shirtless, in her favorite pajama bottoms, commando I might add. She’s looking at me like she’s seen me for the first time in her life; her eyes are focused on what women generally call “the loin of Apollo”. I’m pleased to know that I can turn my woman on in any company. 

“Jose,” I acknowledge her friend nodding. 

“Christian,” he replies coolly. 

Anastasia looks like she’s lost in a different dimension along with my body in her captivity. I smirk at her expression. She narrows her eyes in an attempt to chastise me for my outrageous behavior. Shame on me.... Baby, right now I could care less. I want to declare my territory. I’m a man in love in the same room with another man who is in love with my woman. I’ve got to win! 

“I was bringing you breakfast in bed.” 

I saunter over to her, and wrap my arms around her, tilting her chin up; I kiss her loudly and passionately, short of taking her on the kitchen floor. 

“Good morning Anastasia,” I say lasciviously, knowing she won’t be able to reprimand me on my birthday.

“Good morning Christian. Happy Birthday,” she says smiling shyly, and I smirk at her in response. 

“I’m looking forward to my other present,” I say with much implication in my tone, and Anastasia turns crimson like the communist manifesto. Jose in the other hand looks like he swallowed a nasty bug, and he wants to be anywhere but here. Yes, I made love to her most of the night; you’d do well to remember that! Anastasia so embarrassed turn around and starts fixing the breakfast. 

I sit on my usual bar stool, and turn to Jose and ask, “So, what are your plans for the day, Jose?”  

“I’m heading up to see my dad and Anastasia’s dad, Ray,” he says. His response somehow makes me frown. How does he know him? It gives me a pang of jealousy that he knows Anastasia longer, and he’s involved in her family. I frown.

“Do they know each other?” I find myself asking with ill-concealed curiosity. 

“Yeah, they were in the army together. They lost contact until Ana and I were in college together. It’s kinda cute, because they best buds now. We’re all going on a fishing trip,” he replies. 

“Fishing?” I ask him. I love fishing. I go on fishing trips with my brother a lot. 

“Yeah, there are some great catches in these coastal waters. The steelheads can grow way big,” he explains. I believe it, because we’ve caught some big ones as well.

“True. Because, my brother Elliot and I caught a thirty-four pound steelhead once.”

“Really? Thirty-four pounds, huh? That’s not bad. Although, Ana’s dad holds the record on that. He caught a forty-three pounder!” he exclaims. 

“You’re kidding! He never said,” I say remembering our talk about fishing. That’s awesome. He must be a good fisherman. 

“Happy birthday, by the way,” he says with genuine sincerity. 

“Thank Jose. So, where do you like to fish?” I ask. 

“We have a few spots. It changes with the seasons you know. But, they’re not secret. Ana’s dad is like a magnet. It doesn’t really matter where we go; the man has talent. It’s like he’s the fish whisperer,” he says grinning. “They come to him, and he caught quite a few large ones. I’m not as good of course, but, I like their company,” he explains. 

*****

After breakfast, I go back to my room and change into my jeans and a t-shirt. Jose decides to leave trying not to run his welcome out, probably wanting to leave us to ourselves, however reluctantly.

I make sure he doesn’t linger too much around Anastasia. I can see the yearning in his eyes, and disappointment of having lost her. 

“Thank you for letting me crash here,” he says shaking my hand. 

“Anytime,” I say smiling. Well, I can say that now, because I’m secure in the knowledge that Anastasia will be mine legally.  Jose in turn hugs Anastasia quickly. “Stay safe, Ana,” he says.

“Sure. Great to see you Jose. Next time, we’ll have a proper evening out,” she says referencing last night’s events. 

“I’ll hold you to that,” he says waving from the elevator. Once the elevator door closes and it whisks Jose away, we turn back.

“See, he’s not bad,” says Anastasia.

“He still wants into your panties, Ana. But can’t say I blame him,” I say.

“Christian, that’s not true!” she says in complete denial. I know my own kind! 

“You have no idea, do you?” I smirk at her. “He wants you. Big time,” I reply. It’s all over his face, how he steals a glance when he thinks no one’s looking. Forlorn even. When I embraced and kissed Anastasia, it was all over his face that he wanted to be in my place, holding her, loving her. The fact that Anastasia is completely oblivious to his regard is mind boggling. But then again, it’s better that way. I don’t want her to feel what he feels and have sympathy for his affliction. I want to be the only one who sees her that way. 

Anastasia frowns at me. “Christian, he’s just a friend, a good friend,” she defends her stance. Alright, have it your way. After yesterday, I don’t want to argue with her. I hold my hands up in a conciliatory gesture. 

“I don’t want to fight, baby,” I say. Not over this. 

“Me neither,” she say agreeing. 

“You didn’t tell him we were getting married,” I say hiding the disappointment in my voice. Why? Did she not want to hurt his feelings somehow?

“No. I figured I ought to tell my mom and Ray first,” she says. Oh! Right! What a dumb fuck I am! Of course, she needs to inform her parents first! I nod. 

“Yes, you’re right of course. And, I, uhm... I should ask your father for your hand,” I say. I want to do this right from the start. 

She laughs at me. “Oh, Christian, this isn’t the eighteenth century,” she says. 

“It’s traditional,” I say shrugging, hiding my hurt. Doesn’t she realize that I want to do everything right by her? That I’d do anything for her? 

“Let’s talk about that later. I want to give you your other present,” she says. I feel a shy smile creep up on my lips. I feel like I’m the luckiest bastard in the whole world! She looks at my face, and absently bites her lip. 

“You’re biting your lip,” I say pulling on her chin. Without a word, she takes my hand and takes me to my bedroom. When we get to our bedside, she drops my hand, and goes to her side of the bed. She leans down, and brings out two boxes from under the bed. Wow!

“Two?” I ask surprised. I was just expecting one. 

She takes a deep breath, and says uneasily, “I bought this before the uhm... incident yesterday. But, I’m not sure about it now.” She hands me one of the gift boxes. I gaze at her, and her uncertainty worries me. 

“Are you sure you want me to open this?” I ask. She nods; I can read her anxiety from her face.

I tear the wrapping open; feeling like a poor kid on his best Christmas after his family won the Power Ball. The content of the box touches my heart. 

“Charlie Tango,” I whisper. It’s a wooden replica of Charlie Tango with solar powered rotor blades. I love it that she remembers little details like how I love clean energy, and that I love flying, and I love Charlie Tango. She puts so much thought into what she gives me. 

“Solar powered. Wow!” I murmur. I sit on the bed, and quickly assembly the pieces, snapping and hooking together. Finally a blue Charlie Tango is in the palm of my hand. I take it by the window and let it absorb the sunlight. The rotors start spinning, and miniature Charlie Tango takes flight, hovering over my palm. 

“Look at that!” I exclaim. What possibilities this little toy gives for future. “It’s amazing what we can already do with this technology,” I say as I watch the spinning blades in the palm of my hand. This gives me tens of ideas, how I can implement this in larger scale. Maybe a better solar cell... Even plants do it better. Ideas... Ideas...

“You like it?” asks Anastasia. 

“Ana, I absolutely love it. Thank you!” I say in excitement, and grabbing her into my arms, I kiss her swiftly, and passionately. Then I turn back and watch the rotors spin again. “I’ll add this to the glider in my office,” I tell her.  She grins ear to ear to my response. 

“This will keep me company while we salvage Charlie Tango,” I say a little sadly.

“Is Charlie Tango salvageable?” she asks. I remember the fire in the rotor, the broken blade, electronics. It has to be examined, and assessed. 

“I don’t know. I hope so. Otherwise, I’ll miss her,” I say not knowing. My eyes are on the other box. I want to open it. What could it be?

“I’m not sure if this present is for you, or me,” she says, and makes me even more curious. Hmm... 

“Really?” I ask. That could only mean one thing. I eye her as she hands me the second box. She’s nervous as hell. “Why are you so nervous?” I ask, and she flushes tomato red. A licentious smile creeps over my face. I think she wants to play... 

“You have me intrigued, Miss Steele,” I whisper. And she absently holds her abdomen. She only does that when she’s turned on. “I have to say Anastasia; I’m enjoying your reaction. What have you been up to?” I ask. Knowing her, it could be a number of things. She says nothing. I take the lid off the box. There is a small card, and below is the gift wrapped in pale blue tissue. 

She wrote this in her handwriting, shocking me...

“Do rude things to me!”

“Do rude things to you?” I ask in murmur. She nods, swallowing. What does she want me to do? I want to do those things, but I wouldn’t even dare to think, or have them cross my mind, because I have been so worried that she would leave me. I cock my head to one side, trying to assess her reaction. She gives me mixed signals. How could a man’s heart take all that? I tear through the tissues, and I dig my hand into it. First thing comes to my hand is an eye mask. Okay, she wants to play, and she wants her eyes covered. Then I find the nipple clamps, a butt plug, my iPod, and my favorite gray tie, the one that started all of this. And the last item, which gets my heart racing, is the key to my playroom. 

I gaze at her, I want her, and I want to do everything she wants me to do to her. But, I’m so afraid. So afraid that I might hurt her, I might somehow turn on a fucking switch and do something I will forever regret. 

“You want to play?” I ask her in a soft voice. 

“Yes,” she says in a breathy voice.

“For my birthday?” I ask. I don’t want to do anything she doesn’t want to do. This has to be something she wants. 

“Yes,” she says, and had I turned my head elsewhere, I would have missed her response. My heart contracts in pain. The last time we were in my playroom she left me. The prospect of it scares the hell out of me. This scares me! I love her so much; I don’t think I could manage to live without her. In the other hand, I want to meet all her needs. I want to be the one who provides all the pleasure for her, so she has no desire to even think anyone else. Is this what she wants? She wants... What? I’m anxious because ‘what ifs’ are just disturbing. What if she reacts badly? What if I lose myself in the moment? What if I enjoy it too much and slip back to my old mode of Dom? What if...

“Are you sure?” I ask. 

“Not the whips and stuff,” she replies.

“I understand that,” I say. I don’t ever want to touch them again. 

“Yes, then. I’m sure,” she replies. She wants it! She really wants it! I want what she wants. We aim to please. 

I shake my head, and look down at the contents of the gift box. What have I created here?

“Sex mad and insatiable. Well, I think we can do something with this lot,” I murmur. Putting the contents back into the box, I glance at her again with completely concupiscent eyes. I’ve got one thing in mind, and the object of my affection is right here. If my gaze could burn, she would be on fire right now. My smile is carnal. I hold my hand out for her, and she places hers into mine. 

“Come,” I order, and she follows me out of the bedroom. Off to the playroom.

I pause outside of the playroom. I want to be absolutely sure that this is exactly what she wants. Not for me, but for her. I want her to want it. Not because of some misguided idea that I would miss it. 

“You’re sure about this?” I ask anxiously. 

“Yes,” she murmurs smiling shyly.

“Is there anything you don’t want to do?” I ask in soft eyes. She pauses for a second, and answers.

“I don’t want you to take pictures of me.”

What? Why would she ask that? I’ve never taken her pictures of her in the playroom. I freeze in my place for a minute. I have taken pictures of my subs before. Has she been in my safe? Could she have possibly seen those pictures? I cock my head to one side speculatively. I want her too much to dwell on this too much. 

“Okay,” I acquiesce. I unlock the door, though still nervous. I step aside, and show her in. My eyes are glued on her following her every move. 

I put the gift box on the chest of drawers. I take my iPod out of it, turning it on; I go through the music list. I turn to the music center, and open the doors by waving my hands. The doors glide open silently. I synch the iPod with the stereo, and finally the sounds of a subway train fills and echoes around the playroom. 

 (Gregorian Chant by Enigma)

I turn to Anastasia to face her. She stands in the middle of the room, her mouth slightly open; her chest rising up and down in quick succession. She finally bites her lip as if to set my libido on fire. I stroll over to her, and tug her chin, freeing her bottom lip. We don’t want this to be a short game. 

“What do you want to do, Anastasia?” I murmur. I want her to set the limits, our boundaries. I don’t want to scare her off. I kiss the corner of her mouth. More of it would just set my blood racing. Her lips try to make its way into her mouth again, and I keep my fingers on her chin to prevent that from happening. 

“It’s your birthday. Whatever you want,” she whispers. I run my thumb over her lower lip. She’s here because of me. I was afraid of that. If we are ever going to do anything here, it has to be because she wants it, not because she thinks I need it. 

“Are we in here because you think I want to be in here?” I ask her softly, trying to coax the correct information out of her. I watch her gaze, her face intently. I want to know that she’s telling me the truth. Not, what she thinks I want to hear. 

“No,” she whispers shyly. “I want to be here, too.” Her eyes dilate, and her gaze is wanton. She’s not scared, she’s desirous, libidinous. Her lips part, her cheeks flush, her pulse quickens. She wants me here. Damn! She wants me! Her body language makes me hot, darkening my gaze. She looks almost pleading to be here. I want to be here to fulfill what she wants, what we both need. 

“Oh, there are so many possibilities, Miss Steele,” I answer her last question. I’m excited once again. Something in Anastasia is turned on, and she wants to meet me in that gray area where we are carnal, sensual, desirous, and dark for one another. But, she seems to be overdressed.

“But, let’s start with getting you naked first,” I say in a low but intense voice. I first pull the sash off her silk robe, and it falls open, exposing her silk nightgown. I sit back at the chesterfield chair. 

“Take your clothes off. Slowly,” I order. 

 (Demi Moore Striptease)

She swallows, and her thighs are pressed together. She does that whenever her urges gets unbearable. She’s hot for me, and I’m already a half-cocked gun. She pulls the robe off her shoulders, her eyes fixed on mine. The robe falls onto the floor silently like will o’ the wisp. My eyes are on her, my index finger is running over my lips contemplating. She slips the spaghetti straps of her nightgown off her shoulders, holds them with her fingers for a minute, then releases them, and it just runs over the curves of her body as if honey is being poured down her slowly, and it makes its way to her feet. She’s gloriously naked before me. Too naked. I think something is missing, and I know what that is. I saunter over to the chest of drawers and pick the silver-gray tie. I pull it through my fingers, and stroll back towards Anastasia, smiling. I stand in front of her. She looks up at me expectant.

“I think you are underdressed, Miss Steele,” I murmur. I place the tie around her neck, and slowly tie it into a Windsor knot. I tighten the knot as I would with mine, and my fingers brush the base of her throat. The current that’s always present between us runs through, and she gasps. I crave this electricity, this connection. I ravel in it for a minute. Then leaving the wide end of the tie long, letting it reach and touch her pubic hair. One hot specimen of a woman. 

“You look might fine now, Miss Steele,” I whisper, and kiss her gently on her lips. When I pull back, she’s gasping for air, and wanting for more. 

“What shall we do with you now?” I ask. Then, I pick up the tie, and yank her into my arms. She’s one hot, irresistible woman. Her naked body is flush with mine. My hand travels into her hair, and forcefully pull her head back, and I kiss her, merging her with me, carnal, demanding, wanting. My tongue dips into her mouth and declares itself the master, overtaking her, kissing and caressing her mouth ferociously. My other hand travels down to her buttock, cupping it, kneading. I only let her go when my lungs completely run out of breath I pull away, panting, gazing down at her; I’m completely enamored with the sight before me, in love and in pure lust for her. 

“Turn around,” I command in a gentle tone, and she quickly obeys. Taking her hair off the ponytail, I braid it. Her soft, luscious hair smells divine. 

“You have beautiful hair, Anastasia,” I murmur, leaning in and kissing her throat. “You just have to say stop baby. You know that, don’t you?” I whisper against her throat. She nods, her eyes closed in sensual delight. I turn her around again once I finish braiding, and tug her through the tie once again. “Come,” I say leading her to the box of toys she gave for both of our enjoyment. 

“Anastasia, these objects,” I say showing her the butt plug first, “a size too big for you. As an anal virgin, you don’t want to start with this. We want to start with this,” I say showing my pinky finger, and Anastasia shock is written all over her gasping face. I smirk at her knowing what she’s thinking. Not in multiple, just a single finger. 

“Just finger Anastasia...singular,” I reassure her. Her gaze just darts to mine surprised at my explanation. Her shock is written all over her face. 

The clamps she chose are mostly for pain. It’s not wise to start with those ones. It’s better to graduate into those later on. “These clamps are vicious,” I tell her, and showing her another pair which is not harsh in clasping the nipple, “These ones on the other hand are adjustable,” I say not wanting to hurt her. She blinks up at me like a student who had a flood of information, and about to take a test right after the crash course. 

“Clear?” I ask. 

“Yes,” she whispers her answer. “Are you going to tell me what you intend to do?”

“No, baby. I’m just making this up as I go along. This isn’t a scene, Ana.” She blinks.

“How do you want me to behave?” she asks confused.

Oh, I don’t want her to think of me as a Dom because we are in this room. It brings back the bad memories, my brow creases with concern. “However you want to.”

Her face falls as her expression changes. Did she get disappointed?

“Were you expecting my alter ego, Anastasia?” I ask perplexed. 

“Well, actually, yes. I like him,” she responds surprising me. Somehow her response pleases me. That gives me the knowledge that she loves all my 50 Shades. 

“Do you now,” I breathe. “I’m your lover Anastasia, not your Dom. I love hearing your laughter and your girlish giggle. I like seeing you relaxed and happy like you are in Jose’s pictures. That’s the girl that fell into my office. That’s the girl I fell in love with,” I say as I run my thumb across my lower lip. My declaration drops her jaw open. I managed to shock her. I have been in love with her maybe even from the very beginning. I was too much in denial. 

“But having said all of that, I also like to do rude things to you Miss Steele. And my alter ego knows a trick or two,” I say as my gaze darkens. I want to take control, and give her what she wants, and what we will both enjoy. “So, do as you are told, and turn around,” I order. As her backed turned to me, I open another drawer, and extract a pair of leather cuffs. 

“Come,” I order her tugging the tie; I lead her to the table. Pointing to the table, I say, “I want to you to kneel up on this.” 

I lift Anastasia to the table, and she folds her legs beneath her, kneeling before me. We are eye to eye. Gazing into her eyes, my hands run down her thighs, and grasping her knees, I pull her legs apart. She’s beautiful, and I’m already lusting after her. 

“I want your arms behind your back. I’m going to cuff you.”

I take the leather cuffs from my back pockets, and reach around her. We are touching, and her scent is heady, the sight of her is intoxicating, and alluring. Anastasia run her lips along my jaw and over my stubble. I’m instantly desirous for her, ready to take her. I still and close my eyes, enjoying the moment but also trying to find my center, and right my equilibrium. My breathing falters because if she does this again, this will be a short fuck and neither of us would want that. I pull back immediately once I can gather my wits. 

“Stop. Otherwise this will be over far quicker than either of us wants,” I warn her. Touching her ignites me, her touch is fire, and I want to reciprocate. This is why I have to have control of what gets done if we want to play. 

“Can’t help it. You’re irresistible,” she says pouting. 

“Am I now?” I ask sardonically. She nods with her beautiful eyes hooded.

“Well baby, don’t distract me, or I’ll gag you,” I warn.

“I like distracting you,” she counters in a whisper stubbornly, making me cock my eyebrows.

“Or spank you,” I say. I’ll enjoy spanking her better. She grins in response, almost in anticipation, making me smirk. 

“Behave,” I growl, and standing back, I fix my gaze on her, and slap the leather cuffs on my hand implying what is to come should she not behave. She finally manages to look chastened. 

“That’s better,” I say finally satisfied and lean behind her once again, and she closes her eyes and inhales deeply. I take the cuffs and put them on right above each elbow which in return forces her to arch her back and thrust her breast forward gloriously. I stand back and admire the beautiful sight before me. She’s cuffed above her elbows, and though the arms aren’t together, it creates enough force to make her push her chest forward. 

“Do you feel okay?” I ask.

“I’m good,” she replies. I take the mask out, and slide it over her head, and her eyes are now blind to the world. It’s all in her imagination. Immediately her breathing spikes in anticipation. She looks hot, anticipating. Unable to see, she has to rely on her sense of hearing, and touch and smell. We rely on our sight far too much. Only the absence of it heightens our other senses. In a sex game, you have to trust your partner to not only provide pleasure but also to keep you safe. Unknowns bring excitement and not knowing what is happening, your brain has no way of preparing your for your body’s the next reaction. You only react when you feel, and your body responds differently when you are devoid of the sense of sight. Because of this void, the adrenaline is constantly coursing through your body ready to trigger next reaction. I step away and open a bottle of massage oil; not only do I want to ease her muscles with this oil, but also I want her to use her sense of smell, integrate it into her sensations. Scented oils have been used since the ancient Egyptians to focus, stimulate creativity, increase motivation and to heighten sexual desire. Pheromones are natural aphrodisiac which is why they’re used in perfumes to attract the opposite sex. By indulging the sense of smell with certain scents, you increase sexual appetite and increase sexual attraction. This oil gives off a rich, musky, pungent scent. You can almost taste it; sweet and mouthwatering.

I saunter back to Anastasia. “I don’t want to ruin my favorite tie,” I murmur and undo it.  As the tie moves slowly on her body she inhales sharply. I brush over Anastasia’s cheek with my knuckles, following her jawline, slowly and sensually. All her senses awaken with a simple touch. It creates anticipation. Not knowing what comes next; all her body is at attention, shivering in delight, waking up all the nerves along its wake. I flex my hand over her neck, and my hand easily skates down to her throat, across her clavicle and up around her shoulder. I massage and knead as my hand travels. 

I put my other hand to her other shoulder and slowly and sensually glide it on her clavicle. Anastasia groans in pleasure, and anticipation. She arches her body thrusting her perky breasts seeking attention desperately. But my hands avoid them, and move to her sides. The beat of the music, scent of the oil, my hands awakening all the senses in their in their sensual path, and Anastasia anticipating but not knowing what and when she is getting make her groan loudly. 

“You are so beautiful, Ana,” I whisper next to her ear in a husky voice as my hands travel on her body. My nose travel across her jaw, inhaling her particular scent, and the intoxicating mix that is now infused into her skin. My hands travel and massage her beneath her breasts, over her belly, over her pubic bone... I start placing evanescent kisses on her lips, and then I slowly, painstakingly, sensually run my nose down her neck, and her throat. My breath caresses her oversensitive and expectant skin.

“And you’ll soon be my wife to have and to hold,” I whisper. Her breathing increases, her lips part.

“To love and to cherish...” My hands move sensually over her pubic hair, caressing.

“With my body, I will worship you.” 

Anastasia tips her head back and moans. My fingers move over to her sex, and with my palm, I rub against her clitoris. 

“Mrs. Grey,” I say reverently, in awe of her, my palm rubbing over her nub sensually, arousing every nerve on her body. She groans. 

“Yes, baby,” I breathe, and my palm continues its sensual assault on her. “Open your mouth baby,” I order.  She opens her already agape mouth wide. I slip into her mouth a vibrator which almost feels like a pacifier to the touch. 

“Suck,” I order. “I’m going to put this inside you.” She stills. 

“Suck,” I command again, and stop palming her to put some more oil in my hands. I rub the oil between my hands, and cup her breasts. 

“Don’t stop sucking,” I say. She needs to lubricate and warm it this way.

I roll her nipples between my thumbs and forefingers, and they elongate, harden under my fingers. She makes a muffled moaning sound. 

I love her breasts. “You have such beautiful breasts, Ana,” I murmur, and her body reacts immediately hardening her nipples further. I love the way her body is in tune to mine, to my voice, to my scent, to my touch. “Yes, baby,” I murmur my approval. 

I move my lips down to her neck, and without lingering I move slowly towards her breast, slowly nipping, biting and sucking along the way over and over again. My lips graze over the top of her breasts, and just as her body is anticipating me to suck her nipple I place the clamp on her nipple.

“Ah!” she groans with the unexpected sensation. My tongue darts out, and I lave her clamped nipple with it as I clamp the other nipple. When Anastasia feels the double bite of both clamps she groans loudly. The sensation is new and alien for her.

“Feel it,” I whisper. I put some more oil on my palms, and rub my hands to each other.

I take the vibrator out of her mouth. “Give me this,” I say.  My hands once again start gliding over her body, trailing down, towards her sex. Then I move my hands to her backside. Not knowing what I will be doing, she gasps. When my fingers run over her buttocks, she tenses. She’s an anal virgin, and her reaction is expected. 

“Hush baby, easy,” I whisper into her ear, and kiss her neck while I stroke and tease her with my fingers. She doesn’t know what she is anticipating, and her body is on full alert. As my hand glides down to her belly, her pubic bone, and her sex, I palm her again over her clitoris. My middle finger slides inside her sex, and she moans in pleasure. 

Indicating the vibrator, “I’m going to put this inside you. Not here,” I say trailing my finger between her buttocks over her anus, “but here,” I say as my fingers move in circular motion, in and out as I hit the front wall of her vagina. She moans. Blood rushes to her sex, and her nipples swelling them up, and her restrained nipples experiences the pressure even more. 

“Ah!” she responds to her body’s reaction.

“Hush now, baby,” I say taking out my finger out of her sex, and slide the vibrator in her. With one hand I cup her face, and kiss her almost violently, my mouth overtaking hers, my tongue invading, and I click the vibrator on. Anastasia gasps with this totally unexpected sensation. 

“Ah!!”

“Easy baby,” I say into her mouth, mine is still covering hers. My hands tug on the clamps gently, and she cries out loud.

“Christian, please!” 

“Hush, baby. Hang in there,” coax her.

The vibrator, nipple clams, my mouth on hers, my hands traveling around her body over stimulating her; giving her sensation upon sensation everywhere.

“Good girl,” I calm her. 

“Christian,” she pants, desperately begging. 

“Hush now. Feel it, Ana. Don’t be afraid,” I say holding on her waist. I move my hands from her hips down and around, touching, feeling, kneading her skin, her buttocks. Rub, and rub around her buttocks with oil slicked hands. 

“So beautiful,” I say mesmerized. And finally I push an oiled finger inside her anus. I move my finger slowly in and out as my teeth graze her tilted up chin. 

“So beautiful, Ana.” 

Finally succumbed to all the sensations, she climaxes, and screams her orgasm and her body convulses with sensation running through every nerve on her body. During her mid-orgasm, I pull one of the clamps, and make it sing with a sweet pain-pleasure, and then pull the other one right after making her orgasm go on and on while my finger is still moving in and out of her anus.

“Agh!” she cries out, and I wrap myself around her holding Anastasia, but her body pulses with the still working vibrator inside her, and my finger still moving in and out.

“No!” she shouts in a plea, and I know she is at her limits; this time I pull both the vibrator and my finger, as her body continues to convulse with the ongoing vibrations inside her body. I quickly unstrap the cuffs, and her arms fall forward, her head slumps over my shoulder lost in her overwhelming orgasm. Her breath is ragged, she’s lost.

I lift Anastasia off the table, and carry her in my arms to the bed, and lay her down over the red satin sheets. I rub my hands in oil again, and rub the backs of her thighs, her knees, calves, and her shoulders. I quickly divest my clothes off me, and stretch beside her on the bed. 

I take the eye mask off her, but her eyes remain closed; as she is spent. I take her braid and do it. I lean down and kiss her softly on her beautiful lips. The music stops after I press the off button on the remote control.

“So beautiful,” I murmur to the beauty who is going to be my wife. 

She finally manages to open one eye; I smile at her gazing down in awe of her. 

“Hi,” I greet her back to earth. She only grunts in response, making me smile wider. “Was that rude enough for you?”

She nods in response, and grins at me. 

“I think you are trying to kill me,” she mutters.

“Death by orgasm,” I grin. “Surely you must admit, there are worse ways to go,” but regretting what I say remembering my close brush with death. Anastasia’s hands immediately reach up and caress my face.

“You can kill me like this anytime,” she whispers. She notices for the first time that I am completely naked beside her, and ready for action. I take her hand and kiss her knuckles, and she in response leans up, capturing my face between her hands and pulls my mouth to hers merging us in a passionate kiss. But, I have other plans; I kiss her briefly and stop. 

I reach for the remote for the stereo, and say “This is what I want to do.” I press the on button, and soft strains of guitar playing echoes around the playroom. 

“I want to make love to you, baby,” I say gazing down at her, with love, desire, and passion. Roberta Flock starts crooning, “The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face.” My lips seek hers, and like the ancient lovers, we merge our souls and seal it with this kiss. 

 (The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face by Roberta Flock)

 *****

 (Je t'aime by Lara Fabian)

 *****

Je t'aime D'accord, il existait D'autres façons de se quitter Quelques éclats de verre Auraient peut-être pu nous aider Dans ce silence amer J'ai décidé de pardonner Les erreurs qu'on peut faire A trop s'aimer D'accord, la petite fille En moi souvent te réclamait Presque comme une mère Tu me bordais, me protégeais Je t'ai volé ce sang Qu'on aurait pas dû partager A bout de mots, de rêves Je vais crier Je t'aime, je t'aime Comme un fou, comme un soldat Comme une star de cinéma Je t'aime, je t'aime Comme un loup, comme un roi Comme un homme que je ne suis pas Tu vois, je t'aime comme ça D'accord je t'ai confié Tous mes sourires, tous mes secrets Même ceux dont seul un frère Est le gardien inavoué Dans cette maison de pierre Satan nous regardait danser J'ai tant voulu la guerre De corps qui se faisaient la paix Je t'aime, je t'aime Comme un fou, comme un soldat Comme une star de cinéma Je t'aime, je t'aime, je t'aime, je t'aime Comme un loup, comme un roi Comme un homme que je ne suis pas Tu vois, je t'aime comme ça Tu vois, je t'aime comme ça

I Love You Agreed, there were Other ways of parting A few splinters of glass Might perhaps have helped us In this bitter silence I decided to forgive The mistakes we can make When loving each other too much Agreed, the little girl In me often called for you Almost like a mother You tucked me in, protected me I stole from you this blood That shouldn’t have been shared At the end of my words, of my dreams I am going to shout I love you, I love you Like a lunatic, like a soldier Like a movie star I love you, I love you Like a wolf, like a king Like a man which I am not You see, that’s how I love you Agreed, I confided in you All my smiles, all my secrets Even those only a brother Is the undisclosed guardian In this house of stone Satan watched us dancing I so much wanted war Of bodies that made peace with each other I love you, I love you Like a lunatic, like a soldier Like a movie star I love you, I love you Like a wolf, like a king Like a man which I am not You see, that’s how I love you

Hi Everyone! For those of you who just caught up with me, just a few things to remind you about the images in the blog: Those of you who have been reading for sometime know this. I use Kivanc Tatlitug's image (though he has tats, and may not look like what you envisioned Christian to be). There are a few reasons why I used him: He isn't going to be one of the actors auditioning, and I have readers who are adamant in their choice of a particular actor for Christian role. This way I'm not biased by picking someone probably none of you thought of. I think most everyone who are die hard fans of one actor or another just sort of accepted Kivanc representing Christian here, well, simply because he's not in the competition. But, he has an important job: He fills the void well.
2nd reason is, I wanted to portray certain scenes, and I managed to find Kivanc acting those scenes out in various movies and shows he played. 
So, enjoy, happy reading, and welcome to our little 50 community!