Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Book V - Chapter VIII - Christian and Anastasia

Like time suspended,
a wound unmended--
you and I. 

We had no ending,
no said goodbye; 

For all my life,
I'll wonder why.
~Lang Leav

“Talk to me,” I order Welch as soon as I enter into Taylor’s suite without any greeting or preamble. He nods all the greeting and agreement to his single nod.
“The perp had been handed over to the government agency after Lincoln’s fate had been sealed,” he begins.
“What will do they do with the perp? Do we have a name?”
“A couple of picture, and an alias, but it’s best if you don’t know,” he states.
“I need to know.”
“Once you see it, you will enter the top-secret territory,” he retorts.
“Someone attacking my family can’t be in any sort of secret territory!”
He exhales deeply.
“In that case,” he says producing a couple of eight by eleven pictures.
I examine the first picture. The top only contains numbers and in place of an alias, it states, John Doe. “This man is dead!” I say after looking at the first picture. I sound for the lack of better expression… stupid.
“So it seems,” Welch sounds just as stupid.
“What happened?” I sounder calmer even though anger is brewing inside me.
“We weren’t given explanations, but I think the asset became a bigger burden than use for them. Unofficially, we were told that he had taken a number of contract killings for various dangerous individuals. That exposes an agency which isn’t supposed to exist. That part is not our problem. We aren’t given a name for obvious reasons. The less we know…”
“Just like that?" I quiz.
"It's not like they can have a military tribunal for an asset of an agency that isn't supposed to exist," he replies.
"So,” I interrupt, “how do we know that this is the man? Or better yet, how do I get to be sure that he’s indeed dead?”
“Check the next picture. He was very much alive when we handed him over after Lincoln has been remanded into the federal custody. We’re following that very closely.” He explains.
I check the next picture. He is indeed alive but bruised up in that picture.
“So, this is the fucker who kidnapped my son?” I ask.
“Yes, sir.”
“And he’s dead?”
“Pella’s inside man verified it. Dead as a doornail,” Welch concludes.
“What does all this mean?” I ask to make sense of all of this.
“It means, Lincoln will not see the daylight in any foreseeable future and neither will he know that it’s you who turned in the state’s evidence. As far as he knows, the former board members he screwed over had turned in all the evidence. That’s part one. Part two of the problem is the man he hired has been put to death for his high-profile contract killing activities. You are free of these two major problems. You can sleep easy now.”

Unforgiven - Metallica

Sleep easy? I have not slept easy for some time, and it will be that way for a while longer. I need to be sure that Linc didn’t assign anyone else, or that he has no way of getting out or getting someone else in his payroll. I convey those concerns to Welch.
“We’re already looking into it sir, but it is very unlikely that he has anyone else assigned since Feds got a hold of his stashed cash. He won’t be getting his hands into that and penniless, he has more to worry about his own well-being in a Maximum-Security Prison than his former enemies.” I nod thoughtfully.
“I still need information about him even when he is locked. I want eyes and ears on him. Is that all?” I ask.
“No, there is one more thing…” Welch says and I tense up. Taylor frowns. What’s going on?
“Well?” I ask impatiently.
“We received a request from Mrs. Grey last week,” he says while Taylor continues to frown. “I have received the results of her request before I give them to her.”
This is the part where I normally be very inquisitive and want to know just exactly what my wife is up to. But, Taylor’s forbidding frown towards Welch tells me that it’s one of those birthday surprise kinds of secrets.
“Wait…” I say holding my hand to him. Then I turn to Taylor.
“Is this something that’s going to jeopardize her safety?” I ask.
“No, sir. Not one bit.”
“How about the Teddy? Mine or anyone in the family?”
“It won’t cause any safety problems sir.”
“Soooo, is there a possibility that she’d let me know what that is after she talks to you, Welch?” I ask Welch with my arms crossed. I am trying to give the freedom my wife is craving without jeopardizing all our safety. That’s something that would be impossible for me to do.
“I believe so, sir. I don’t know if she’d let you know about it today, or even here in San Francisco, but, uhm…” I hold my hand up again to interrupt him.
“Will you be talking to my wife, or will you convey the information to her informant?” I say suppressing a smile. Taylor goes crimson.
“I believe I am the informant, sir, so, I will convey the information to her,” Welch answers without even giving Taylor a sideways glance.
 “Okay. Is there anything else?” I ask.
“That’s all, sir. I’ll see you in Seattle,” he replies. I nod and shake his hand and leave Taylor with his arm crossed facing Welch back in his suite.

*****          *****

Take me to Church - Sofia Karlberg

“Well?” Ana questions me as soon as I get back to our suite.
“Well what?” I ask a little too innocently.
“Whenever my husband answers a question with a question, I think there’s something to be concealed.”
“I had my daily briefing with Taylor and Welch is in town,” I say fishing.
“If he had to come all the way here, what did he want? Was it about Teddy’s kidnapping?” she asks genuinely interested. How should I go about this? I don’t want to worry her. But, I don’t want her to feel I’m leaving her out of the loop when it comes to our son.
“Yes, it was,” I answer truthfully.
“What did he have to say?” she asks visibly worried.
“He finally confirmed that the perp was indeed killed,” I tell her without disclosing how or where he was killed.
“What? Will they charge Melissa? We can’t let them charge Melissa with murder or even manslaughter! She was just doing her job!” she says anxiously and she’s immediately in my arms.
“Relax baby,” I soothe her, “just relax. They can’t do anything to Melissa. There are witnesses from hospital, the cops who were on the scene, to the government officials not to mention my own security detail... They can all testify that she was only doing her job, like a cop would.” For once, I’m not sorry for having my security detail pack guns.
“Ana, you’re shaking! God! Please, baby, don’t cry,” I soothe her as soon as she starts sobbing.
“I think the whole thing is just coming crashing down on me. I’m relieved…” she mutters between sobs. “I mean I’m not relieved that a man is dead, but I am relieved that he won’t be after our baby, after you, Christian! I couldn’t live if anything happened to either one of you!” she buries her head into my chest with warm tears.
“Forget about him, baby. We’re here, celebrating my birthday, spending time together, actually together first time in a month, although I love the little boob thief to death,” I groan. This elicits a teary laughter from Ana.
“What did you call our baby?” asks among teary giggles.
“Boob thief among other things.” I sigh.

“Why?” she says laughing.
“For one thing, he seems a little drunk on breast milk, and he won’t quiet down till he clutches one or both of your gorgeous tits.”
“Oh, I miss him,” she sighs with a genuine smile.
“We’ll go get him now,” I say taking her hand. I hear her phone ringing from the master suite. She frowns.
“Let me see who that is,” she murmurs and releasing my hand, walks to the bedroom rapidly.
“Hello?” I hear her answer her phone inquisitively.
“Oh, hi!” She says somberly, then pauses, “really? I haven’t checked it. I won’t have time to check it till I get back home. Could you just give me the gist of it?” Then she falls silent.
“Uh huh!” Pause. “What about the… uh, you know…”
“Possible? Feasible?” Then her voice is excited. “I’d like a name put on it instead of a number.” Pause. “On… that, yeah. Just a first name.” Pause.
“Yes, and that too.” Then she lowers her voice.
“Yes, please. Inform him and then send me the details. Thanks.”
Then she walks out of the bedroom with her purse.
“Is everything okay?” I ask searching her face.
“Yes, all is well.” She nods.
“Who was it?” I quiz further. Will she lie to me?
“It’s impertinent right now.” She evades. Now I’m curious. What is she hiding? Should I ask Welch? Question Taylor? I should trust her. It’s taking all my willpower to do so. Not the trust part, but, secrets. I know it’s not something that would jeopardize her safety. But, why would she need Welch’s help if it was something like this trip to be arranged? What is she searching? What is she planning?
“Ana, you’re worrying me. Who was it on the phone?” I probe again. Was it really Welch, or someone else?
“Christian, you needn’t worry. I am researching something and I received information on that topic.”
“If it’s just a topic, maybe you wouldn’t mind sharing. Is it about SIP?”
“You won’t let this go, will you?” She rolls her eyes.
“Mrs. Grey, I’m not happy with your tone. Are you pulling a Christian Grey on me?”
“Will you please give me time until we get back home? Then I will let you know. We’re leaving today anyway. Give me time till tomorrow,” she pleads.
I sigh. “Okay, tomorrow, and not a minute later.
She notices my fallen face. I don’t like her keeping secrets from me. It makes me very anxious.
She sighs and gives me a reassuring hug. I feel like a role reversal. I also want to know why Taylor is going along with this. How did she twist his arm?
“Let’s go get our little boob thief,” I smile at her, tugging her hand.

*****          *****
The flight back to Seattle is actually fun and relaxing after having been away from town for a couple of days. Teddy is actually tired of going hand to hand and fusses.
“Let me hold my boy!” I say to Mia who has been hogging him from everyone else.
“I can soothe him Christian!” she protests.
“I think he needs a diaper change. If you could…” I say.
“Here’s your baby!” she hands him to me.
Teddy’s second favorite spot right after snuggling with Ana breasts is lying on my chest. Elliot watches me as I hold him attentively.
“Don’t get ideas just yet!” Kate chides him.
“There’s something special about a baby,” he says looking at Teddy. “Until they pee and poop. Not to mention they put a damper on your sex life. Poor Christian looked wound tighter than a nun’s cunt!”
“Elliot!” Both mom and Kate chides.
“I don’t mean now. I meant a few days ago,” he grins. “He now looks like he had been to the promised land last night,” he laughs. Ana rolls her eyes.
“Christ, Elliot!”
“Hey, don’t blame me, you’re the one who had a baby,” he goes on.
“Elliot, Christian doesn’t just visit the promised land,” Ana chides him.
“No. He owns the deed.” She wriggles her fingers showing off her wedding ring. “I am his. He can have it all,” she smiles sweetly.
“When do you go back to work, Ana?” my mom asks to change the topic.
“Uh, I might next month,” she says looking at me. We haven’t discussed her going back to work yet. With the baby and her full-time work, when will she have any time for me?
“Why haven’t you told me that?” I whisper to her ear.
“What are you whispering about?” Elliot quizzes. Damn, he’s as nosy as his wife! No wonder why they get along. “Is it possibly that the house you own the deed for isn’t available much?” What’s eating up my damn brother?
“That’s enough Elliot!” my dad looks at him sharply. For once, Elliot looks chagrined.
“I’m sorry bro. I overstepped. I was just teasing you like I always do.” He sighs and adds, “I’m an ass.” To which everyone laughs.
“Yes, you are. But you are our ass.” I say, patting my sleeping baby’s back.   
“Give me the baby!” he says extending his hands to receive Teddy. “I tell you, he is pretty tempting but I’m not giving up on sex just yet to have one! I’ll just hold him instead,” he grins again. I shake my head and pass my sleeping son to Elliot.
“Agh! I wish you weren’t this cute and temping!” Teddy coos and all the girls sigh.
“He is a real chick magnet!” Elliot comments.
“Just like his daddy!” Ana says kissing me chastely.

*****          *****

            “Welcome home Mr. Grey, Mrs. Grey! Well, hello Teddy!” Mrs. Taylor gushes.
            “How was your trip?” she asks as she takes Teddy in her arms. “You’ve grown in just a couple of days, haven’t you, young man?” she coos him.
            “Ana, I’ll have to check in with the office, then I’ll join you in our room.”
            Just as I walk to the office, I see Ana summon Taylor to talk to her. What is she really up to? Should I be worried? As I turn the corner to my home office, I see Mrs. Taylor leaving with Teddy and Ana talking to Taylor. Somehow, whatever it is, they all know.     
            Irritated, curious, and trying to be patient in giving Ana the time she needs before she talks to me about whatever that is she’s keeping, I dial my assistant.
            “Grey Enterprises Incorporated. Andrea is speaking, how may I help you?”
            “Grey’s here. Are there any important messages?”
            “Good afternoon, Mr. Grey. Nice to have you back. I have some documents to be signed regarding the shipyard…” she begins.
            I go through the mail on my desk. One large manila envelope catches my eye. On it, in bold letters, it has “MRS. GREY”. Why is it on my desk? Should I open it? Is it related to this thing she’s researching with Welch? Or is it something else? What if it is something else?
            Curiosity gets the better of me and I open it. At first glance I notice that it has pictures from the kidnapping of our son. The picture angle is bad, it’s amateurish shots from a distance as if they’ve been taken in a hurry, or still images captured from a video or like someone took it with a cell phone. After carefully examining the first image, I see myself in the picture. I spread the contents on the table and I can clearly see that I’m in the first three images.
Seeing them again, makes me relieve the moment, that terrible day. My breathing increases and I find my hands fisting. I try to calm myself down. Teddy is safe. The perp is dead. Linc is locked up. I repeat the mantra in my head over and over again. Once I feel the calm wash over me, I pour myself over the pictures once more. The only thing that’s clear in the three images is the devastation on my face. The helplessness. I remember the moment, not because I’ve seen my face in that way, but because I remember the feeling it left on me. I remember my location, memorized my surroundings, my stance, my restlessness, and the utter, unbearable despair. The people, my security detail around are hazy, but I remember how anxious they were as well.  I remember how fiercely I wanted to run to get him. I remember the fucker’s treat to kill him. In an instant, I was ready to give my life for my child I held just for moments. I pull the other picture and see that I’m running towards my son. Taylor was on auto pilot, calculating every risk. “Head on collision will stop him but provide the least amount of injury to the passengers,” he said, leaving out the part the passenger was my newborn baby. The fucker threatened him right then. I take another deep breath and close my eyes before I look at the other picture.
Third image shows the absolute relief on my face after getting Teddy alive: I’ve not seen my face in that form at all. Teddy was so hungry; he was willing to suck my finger. There’s nothing incriminating towards any of my security staff. Behind the three images, there’s a paper with the sharp lines of man’s handwriting.

Mrs. Grey,
Here is the name and location of the grave. It is in the Canton Cemetery in the city of Detroit. You were right: Records indicate that there were no flowers, no sermons and no mourners. Her body was unclaimed and buried in sort of a potter’s field. Four bodies are buried together because it was cheaper. We managed to put a simple stone on hers with only her first name on it as you requested and it is placed next to the number that was assigned by the Wayne County.

We’ve made sure that there was a pastor who performed the last rites however late, also performed a sermon reading 1 Corinthians 13 from the Bible. A homeless shelter was provided food in her name, and a donation has been made to a shelter protecting women and children from domestic violence, also in her name. Attached: pictures and receipts confirming what had been done.

I take a very deep breath. My hands shake as if burnt. This is what Ana was hiding from me! Detroit, Wayne County, Canton Cemetery. I exhale a shaky breath and take a look at the next picture. A simple headstone with no adornments. It simply says:

Christian’s Loving Mommy
Finally, at Peace

No date of birth. No date of death. As if it had just happened. Like an unfinished story. There are fresh flowers placed on the grave. White and pink in color. There’s also a little toy car. So much like the one I’ve had when I was a little boy. Except this one is brand new. I briefly look at the pictures of the cemetery, the homeless shelter and the women and children’s shelter. The final picture just nails me in my seat. It’s a blown-up picture of a young woman holding an infant, looking at him almost the same way I was looking at Teddy. I pull that picture with Teddy in my arms, clearly showing the relief on my face but also exuding pure love. The same look is on the young woman. She looks so very young. I turn it over and the hand-written note makes my heart skip a beat.

Ella and baby Christian
My one and only love

My eyes haze and I quickly look away from the picture. The only picture I’ve had of her was that tiny passport size picture I left at my parents’ house. Why did Ana work to uncover this information? There’s a knock at my door and without expecting my response, Ana walks into my office. She looks cautious.
“Is everything okay? You’ve been locked in here for hours,” she says.
“Has it been hours?” I ask. It felt like only minutes.
“At least two hours,” she says. She walks over to me, and her gaze runs on the items spread on my desk. She’s not shocked or surprised to see the contents there.
“Have you seen them before?” I ask without bothering to pretend the envelope came to my desk by mistake. She meant it to reach me for a reason.
“I had not seen them before. I wasn’t sure if I could handle seeing you so…” she’s lost for words. “…so desperate,” she whispers.
“I remembered how grief-stricken and despaired I was. Even a month after, knowing that this had already happened, that Teddy was safe…. You were safe… We all were… I was still inconsolable. I couldn’t fathom how you felt having lived it. Alone. Just to shield me. I lived with this for a month. It ate me away,” she says as her trembling fingers caress my face.
Then she takes the three pictures in her hand for the first time. She tries to keep her face expressionless. But when she sees the desperation in my face, her tears run down her cheeks in a steady stream. I pull her into my embrace. She places the pictures back on my desk and just hugs me tight. We hold each other like this for a long time. Then she sighs.
“I think you have something to tell me today,” I start, pulling her back and looking at her.
“Yes. Just as I promised.”
“I see that you found the crack whore’s grave. Why?”
“Christian, I don’t want you to call her that again. Please…” she begs.
“Why?” I grunt. “That’s exactly what she was. A crack addict and a whore.”
“What she was, Christian, was a mom. A desperate woman everyone abandoned. A woman who was willing to do anything to take care of her child. Was she bad at it?” she asks rhetorically and then answers her own question. “Yes, very bad. But she still loved you.”
“How do you know, Ana? How do you know she loved me? How do you know she even wanted me?” I ask fervently. There’s no way a crack whore who may have gotten pregnant by one of her johns could have wanted me or loved me.
“You talk as if love is something that is acquired at will. It’s not. Do you remember how angry you were at me when you found out I was pregnant? I didn’t plan on getting pregnant, having a baby so early in life. I too had plans of a career. I too wanted to spend more time with you… just you and me. You were furious. Even though you knew it was our child. You thought, with all the money you to make this process easy, all the freedom you had, you still thought a baby would trap you. Take your freedoms away. Take me… away. From you,” she says all too right about my feelings at the time.
I fought with them. In fact, until Teddy was born, until Ana had gone through that terrible ordeal during her labor, I wasn’t completely sure that I was equipped to deal with fatherhood. How could I be good at something when I had been born to a crack whore? Even being in love was a foreign feeling, being loved in return was completely incomprehensible.
“You changed me,” I say simply. “You made me feel love when everyone else had failed. My parents tried hard all their lives. I was colder than a meat locker in receiving that warm feeling. Undeserving.”
“That’s exactly where you were wrong, Christian!” She says fervently. “We don’t love because there is something to be deserved, we love because it’s freely given. It’s like air around you. We don’t question its presence. It’s not a matter of whether we deserve it, although you deserve it more than anyone.”
“I’m beginning to see that. Old habits are hard to break.”
 “I want to ask you something,” she says picking up the pictures spread around my desk. She examines them carefully, sniffles, but composes herself again. She looks like a woman on an important mission. Something she is determined to fulfill.
“Go ahead, ask me…” I probe curiously.
She separates the picture of me holding my son with relief and pure love written all over my face and the picture of the crack whore holding me as a baby.
“I want you to look at these two pictures. Tell me the similarities. What does this picture…” she says tapping her finger on the crack whore’s face, “what does it make you feel?” she asks.
“The crack whore…” I begin.
“Stop!” Ana orders.
“I hope…” she takes a deep breath, “I hope that my son whom I love more than life itself will never call me by such a derogatory term.”
“I wouldn’t let him!” I say fervently. “You are far removed from her!” but I can’t bring the disgust to my word. I don’t feel it.
“Christian. You have to forgive her. Please. Look, I’m young. I’m willing to be a good mom. We have the resources. But I will make lots of mistakes. Yes, our son will want nothing, will not need anything from anyone, so unlike Elle...” she sighs.
“You are a very strong man. And I will make sure that you are a good dad in your full potential. But you and I will both make mistakes as he grows older. Some mistakes he may not like. Some mistakes he may not even forgive us for. I hope to not make those types of mistakes, but if I ever do, I would rather he forgives me than he berates me to his future wife.”
“What do you want me to do?” I ask bewildered. “That’s all I’ve known about her. The crack whore who let me get abused.”
“That was something she couldn’t live with. Poor thing couldn’t even protect herself. She had a very hard life. It’s not an excuse, I know. But that was a life we wouldn’t wish on anyone. I can’t have you call her ‘a crack whore’ even if that’s what she was! She gave birth to you. She could have had an abortion and I’m so grateful that she had you! There would be no Christian and Ana, without Ella. She made us possible. Demeaning her, demeans you, me, our baby. I can’t have that. Please forgive her.”
She’s right of course. I take a deep breath and exhale my anxiety.
“Look…” she points Ella’s picture as she’s holding me. There is joy and love in her face.
“Look and tell me that this was a mother who didn’t love her baby? It’s impossible, unnatural to not to love your child. It’s automatic.” Then she taps her finger on my picture once again.
“Can you tell me that you weren’t feeling love for your less than a day-old son? He was brand new. You hardly ever held her. Can you say that you loved him less, or you only tried to save him because it would upset me? Wasn’t there a side of you that said, ‘I need to get my baby back, because he’s my son’?”
“Yes, damn it! Yes! I completely, absolutely and irrevocably love my baby! I’m in love with that little bobby thief!” I exclaim.
“Could you then give that much credit to Ella who had the privilege of carrying you for nine months, had to endure a labor with you and cared for you however poorly till you were four? I know she did a terrible job in taking care of you, but that was her best under the circumstances she was under. The look she has on her face looking at you is almost identical you have on yours looking at our son. Can you doubt that this is anything but love?”
“If anyone can convince me of that, it’d be you, baby,” I say.
“I don’t want to convince of something you don’t believe in your heart. I want you to take a look at it, and convince yourself, and forgive her. Because it will most of the wounds in your heart. It’ll make it a place where you can carry love for us,” she pleads.
“I already love both of you beyond any measure Ana. I hate to admit it, but I have already forgiven Ella a while back. Probably right after I got my son back,” I admit sheepishly.
“Christian Grey! Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I guess it slipped my mind. Now, tell me what this is all about with her grave and other things in this file?” I quiz her.
“I’m glad you asked,” she grins ear to ear with a feeling of accomplishment.
“I’d like us to visit her grave for a full measure of closure. To give Ella dignity as your mom even if she’s undeserving. You already have a mom and dad in Grace and Carrick. That will never change. This will just heal you completely. Can we please go? That’s what I asked Welch to arrange…” she confesses.
“Full disclosure,” I raise my eyebrows.
She gets up off my lap and walks around, then comes back to stand before me.
“I want my husband’s full heart, love, attention, care without the taint of the past. Without the festering wounds, bleeding slowly, eroding you a little bit each time. I want to heal those wounds, plug and repair the cuts and make you whole for all of us. It won’t completely happen without facing what once hurt us. I want to be with you, see you through getting over this problem you’ve avoided all your adult life. I don’t want it to spring up at an unexpected moment. I want us to go and see her grave, talk to her like you would to another adult. Close this wound. Let me help you heal it.”
“Oh, Ana, I don’t think you should be visiting her grave. I don’t want to taint you with that sordid past.”
“Christian Trevelyan Grey!” she chides me with her index finger, fixing me in my seat. “If you think I only want you with your good part, the visible gorgeous man, or that the side of you that you show the world, you are fucking mistaken! I took you as you are! I loved all of you. I love you, period! Why the hell do you think it would be hard for me to visit Ella’s grave with my husband? Why can’t I help you see through this closure? Tell me, why? Am I not worthy of sharing a portion of your problems? Did I not promise to be there for you? Why are you denying me that privilege? What would you feel if I shut you out?”
“You don’t play fair, baby,” I mutter.
She shrugs. “I learned from the best. But really, was it fun when I withheld this information from you? Did it bother you that you were excluded from one single thing I did without your knowledge? I see that you opened up the envelope which I knew you would.”
“You know me too well. But it’s different. I have to protect you and my son.”
“That’s the same ole crap you give me. I am strong and I can do something to protect you from your past. It’s not even your current issue. I am just trying to help you with the past. Let me be with you, let us come to close this wound,” she pleads.
“Fuck! How can I say no to you? I’d give you the world if you asked for it. All things you see, desire are within my reach to get for you like a normal man would buy coffee for himself. Price tags or the lack thereof wouldn’t be a problem because I can place a price tag on anything I set my eyes on…”
“Right there!” she cuts me off.
“I’m not asking you to purchase me something. I’m asking you to share what you wouldn’t with anyone else. I’m asking you to be a bigger part of your life. That has no price tag. That’s personal. Private. Intimate. That’s what I want with you. I crave with you. I want that deep of an intimacy with my husband. Please, Christian, just let me.”
“Okay, baby. We will go together.”
She lights up like a thousand megawatts of bulb.
“Thank you Christian!” She’s instantly wrapped around my neck, and her lips locked with mine.

 “Just so you know, you owe me big time, Mrs. Grey,” I mutter into her lips.
She smiles, pulls back.
“I think I can afford it, sir," she says winking. "Just don’t tell my husband!” she whispers. I shoot up like the wind and grab her ready to nail her to collect what is due to me.
“You. Are. Mine. And ONLY mine!”
“Yes, sir,” she responds demurely.
“Oh fuck! Guess you’re paying up now baby!” I lift her up and carry her to my desk. Collection time!

All of Me


Liz Light said...

Hey Emine! So glad your back, this is great! Hope that you're feeling better. I just LOVE the way how you write! It makes so real... I mean Ana and Christian personalities are exactly the same and that's so wonderful and make me read and read over and over and over again! Thank you so much for not giving up on this! Come to Brazil, I would be so happy!
With Love Allie

reinee raman said...

Welcome back and thank you for update.. hope you doing great.. Hope Elena will be punished for wat she did to CG..

WhatWorks said...

So glad you updated and that Ana has convinced Christian to pursue much needed closure by visiting her grave. He had so much anger in his heart that it wasn't fully capable of accepting the love Ana and his family offered.

Anonymous said...

OMG finally! Thank you and please keep updating, your stories are really good!

Annette Tomplait said...

Oh Emine, I was so so so so happy to see this update. I have missed your story. I just know the trip to Detroit is going to be a tearful chapter but I can't wait to read more. Love this story!

Bec said...

I am so excited. I have missed Christian and Ana. Hope you keep them coming it has been a long time.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for bringing Christian and Ana back. It was great keep them coming.

Joan Goldman said...

I was so excited when I saw that you had posted! I have so missed your story. So they are really going to go to Detroit. Hopefully Ana is prepared for that because Christian and that city do not mix. I'm glad that the perp is dead and that Lincoln is in prison actually now both Lincoln's are in prison. Couldn't happen to a better or should I say bitter couple. :) Hopefully Christian starts to see more through Ana's eye's?

Joan Goldman said...

I was so excited when I saw that you had posted! I have so missed your story. So they are really going to go to Detroit. Hopefully Ana is prepared for that because Christian and that city do not mix. I'm glad that the perp is dead and that Lincoln is in prison actually now both Lincoln's are in prison. Couldn't happen to a better or should I say bitter couple. :) Hopefully Christian starts to see more through Ana's eye's?

Joan Goldman said...

I was so excited to see that you posted again. I absolutely love this story. Hopefully all goes well for them in Detroit? I thrilled that the perp is dead and that both Lincoln's are in prison where they belong! Hopefully being someone bitch? :) They need to be able to breath a little and so does the security team but then again he is Christian Grey. I saw on Facebook that you had a birthday recently. Happy belated birthday to you.

Carmela Dimattia said...

So excited to have you back emine. Loved it so much. Look forward to reading more. Thank you

Darla Mills said...

Very good chapter, love this story.

Thais Meire Pires Rocha said...

Amo tanto eles dois,obrigado Emine fougner.

Unknown said...

Amazing chapter - thank you.
I've been missing your posts.

mano crefit br said...

Hi Eminé
Thank you for the new chapter i love it as always.
I miss them so much, thanks to get them back in to our lifes.

Denise Marcucci said...


Claudinha said...

Translate please for portugese!!!

Conexão Social - Solução Sustentável para ONGs said...

Hi Emine, how nice to have you back. I wish God was with you at all times. Happy Birthday!!!
How I missed the books, you're guilty of so much dependence, a beautiful, delicate text, talking about forgiveness so sensitive, a difficult feeling when you have the trauma of a child, but the approach you gave in preparing this moment, ... it was lovely to take us to think of the photos of a father with his son and mother with his son, the feeling of love and delicacy in Ana's words to approach the subject with her husband, bringing the feeling of her mother and wife . Beautiful, always beautiful, to say that you are to be congratulated is repetitive, but deserved. You always deserve a lot of praise, I know it's asking a lot, but it does not go away, we're here wanting more of this beautiful couple that you created. Even more that we will have new films.

WhatWorks said...

Hi! I was wondering if comments were working because I attempted to leave a comment yesterday, but I don't see it today.

Lya de Aquino said...

OM!!! Como eu estava com saudades. Pensei que tinha desistido de escrever, ainda bem que estava enganada. Você arrasa como sempre e faz a gente se apaixonar cada vez mais pela sua escrita. Eu sinceramente queria ver um momento Christian e Teddy sozinhos, e saber pq Mia e Ethan terminaram... Aguardando mais capítulos.

Andreia Destro said...

Olá Emine!!
Fico feliz que você esteja de volta. Sentimos muita sua falta.Obrigada por continuar nos dando o privilégio de acompanhar essa história linda de amor e cumplicidade. Você é simplesmente FANTÁSTICA. Seja bem vinda de volta e que Deus abençoe ricamente sua vida e ilumine seus caminhos hoje e sempre. Bjs

Jeangb said...

Thank you for this heartwarming update. I missed this story so much.
I hope you are feeling well, hope to hear from you again soon. It doesn't matter which story you update I'm always giddy when I see a new chapter has been posted.

Anonymous said...

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee que alegria que estes de vuelta. Me encanta tu historia, esperare con ansiedad mas capitulos

Vera Leite said...

Saudades Emine!!! Espero que tenha se recuperado! Muita paz e saúde para você e sua família! Delícia ler sua versão da história! Parabéns! Bjs

Dan Navarro said...

Emine, que saudade da sua escrita!!!!! Você é maravilhosa! Espero que esteja bem e que venha para o Brasil! Ficaremos honradas com sua visita!!!!! Amei este capítulo assim como os outros e aguardo DESESPERADA por mais! Bjks DANDA

Penny Brueggemann said...

Oh how I have missed your writing and our Christian and Ana. That being said, I am in several reading groups and have read so many wonderful writing this blog, you got me through very difficult life situations and helped me fall back in love with reading. Thanks so much for the update. So glad you are back....Love from the Midwest.

patricia minor said...

I also hv missed your writing also....I hv definitely missed this story!!!! You did a magnificent job!!!! I love your writing and your take on C & A's story!!! I will be sooo sad when the story is complete, but I do a request; will you PLEASE complete each book (book IV!!!!!!!!) so we can download it so we can read it on our tablets or whatever when we are out in public or in the car PLEASEEEEEE!!!!!! Keep up the fantastic story if you so desire.
Thanks from a HUGE FAN!!
Trish M.

savlis said...

Simplesmente uma imensa alegria, uma tranquilidade e conforto saber que a continuação desta história contagiante de amor ainda perdura graças a você.

Por favor, continue a manter este amor vivo e principalmente sob o ponto de vista de Christian. Personagem complexo, que você conseguiu brilhantemente nos mostrar seu mundo interior.

Não nos tire esta felicidade de continuar partilhando da vida deste casal.


Idalina Rodrigues said...

Não vejo a hora de sair a tradução amo de paixão este blog.
Você Emine é tão espetacular escrevendo que parece que a história é sua.
E a tradução da Neusinha é demais.
Amo o casal demais mesmo
Grata pela linda história, não canso de ler.

Idalina Rodrigues said...

Amei o capítulo novo e espero que a Neusinha traduza logo.
Ela é demais na sua tradução.
E você Emine escreve lindamente.
Obrigada pela linda história.
Amo tanto que já perdi o número de vezes que li.
Torcendo por mais.

kathrina pheonix (DUMAS) said...

Amazing i started reading and could not stop i love their connection i love you story their are so many layer beautifully written they way you captured Anna and Christian is out of this world.

Anonymous said...

I have checked this site every week. obviously missed last week! But this was posted on my sons 21st birthday so couldn't very well ignore that for this.. but oh how I wish I checked over the weekend while home sick in bed. Any way PSYCHED to have read this now! But for some reason it feels like the end.. hoping its not though. Happy Thanksgiving.

Eminé Fougner @ Cowboyland said...

Rest easy girls. It's not the end. I've had this chapter coming up but I couldn't have Christian make up with his mom and his childhood until his current issues were resolved. Still in the process of resolving some of his other issues, and of course they only have Baby Teddy.

Anonymous said...

Hello, I simply love your writing about Christina version.
I have a question will continue form more book or the book 5 is the last?
Please make more chapters for 50 shades of Christina Grey.

Regina Pridgen said...

Missed this story loved the chapter see you next time take care.....

Regina Pridgen said...

Missed this story loved the chapter see you next time take care....

Sheila H said...

Another great chapter Emine. I think you have captured Ella and Christian really well. Thank you for another lovely chapter.

Anonymous said...

What do you think of the new trailer?

Anonymous said...

So happy that you are back Emine .... the stoy is far to end a lot of thngs to close and the other baby phoebe is waiting. I totally love your history more than the original


Hi Emine. I have a question about the 2nd book of PELA series. Have you written it yet? And if so when are you going to publish it?

LC said...

So happy to see this update, thank you so much !!!!

Nicoletta Cuppone said...

so happy!