Monday, May 14, 2012

CHAPTER XIII - FanFiction - Christian and Anastasia


Morning finds me with more resoluteness: Anastasia Steele, you’re going to get my best fight today baby! If I want something, I don’t lose. And right now, there is nothing I desire more, no acquisition is as great, no company is as valuable, no woman is worth pursuing! I have eyes only for you! (←For Your Eyes Only by Sheena Easton) I’m not giving up on finally claiming you to be mine, especially now when I know you want me too. I can’t let the details dictate the relationship we can have. I’ll lay all my cards, and have a few tricks up on my sleeve. 
I really don’t want to lose her; the thought of losing her, that she might slip through my fingers even for a minute scares the life out of me! Had she not requited my feelings, had she not desired me as strongly as I do her, had she not been my sun, had she not kiss me as passionately, make love as passionately, had she not have that look when she wants me in her eyes and that sadness when she is ready to give up despite everything she feels for me because of her own principles, I wouldn’t have pursued her this strongly no matter how much I liked and desired her! But she does, and I can’t escape her pull. I am to her, what she is to me!  She’s not only beautiful and smart, but she is also principled. She knows what she wants, what she desires. She may be inexperienced, but when she feels something she feels strongly, she acts strongly even though she may be scared to death, and she’ll go for her principles even if it breaks her heart as well as mine into a million pieces. That is the sexiest thing I have seen! That's my pain and pleasure...

I like her, I want her, I desire her, I feel very strongly for her with emotions I am not familiar with of which I have no way of naming! I may not be a gentelman, I may be born of a crack whore, I may be a control freak, a slave driver, a megalomaniac; but I know and recognize honor! That’s something I work towards because it too needs a good deal of control to achieve, it's a principle I'm raised with and that’s something I see in her! She acts upon it, and I am completely and utterly enthralled! She’s a rare woman, and I’ve come to recognize that. Only someone worthy of her may claim her, and how lucky was I to have claimed her without completely understanding her worth, but she can’t be contained. I want to be worthy of her too! She makes me want to be a better man. She may be a tornado in my soul, but I love what it stirs in me; keeps me on my toes not knowing what she’ll say or do next. Although part of me would love to tame it within certain boundaries, heck, who am I kidding, I would just love to tame her, period, but ‘compromise’ would preserve her best qualities, while chiseling her rough edges. I’ll use all my negotiating skills to achieve that end today.  Bring it on Miss Steele... Cause Ana, baby, I’m the man for you! (← I’m Your Man by Michael Buble)

I go and workout with Taylor early in the morning. Taylor holds the punching bag, and I punch and kick the crap out of it. His eyes widen at my eagerness, anger, and pent-up desire and he knows why.

“Will you be seeing Miss Steele today sir?” he asks tentatively.

“Yes,” I say flatly, then amend it, “not definite, but I’ll try,” I say.

Good luck sir!” he says as if I’m going to a rescue mission in the enemy territory! I pause for a second and try not to smile. I punch the bag one last time.  

Thirty minutes later, I go to my suite, order breakfast, and take a shower. I put on my silver suit on and accessorize with my silver tie which became my favorite in the recent weeks. Taylor drives me to the university. As I make my way to the Chancellor’s office, Taylor whispers under his breath, but still a firm sound saying, “Go get her sir!” When I turn to look at him, he has his impassive face on; I nod as a reply. This waiting is getting on his nerves too!

Chancellor drawls on talking pleasantries, and introduce me to the other staff. I make my way around quickly and say, “Perphaps I should make my way to the stage. I want to look over my speech one more time,” though I needen’t look over anything. I have a very good memory, and I can recite it after the first read. He directs his assitant to show me the way, but I say, “I know that Miss Katherine Kavanagh is going to give the valedictorian speech. If she’s around she may be able to take me where I need to be."  That surprises the chancellor. I say, “Miss Kavanagh is a family friend,” by the way of explaining. She comes from a rich stock which shouldn’t surprise the Chancellor that our families would be acquainted. He instead sends his assistant to locate Kate.

The assistant comes back in with her who gives me a sly smile. What has she got under her sleeve?

“Hello Christian,” she says politely and unwavering of me or the company around. Her unintimidated but polite, professional and friendly approach convinces the chancellor and raises Kate’s value a notch in his eyes.

“Hello Kate,” I say and she extends her right cheek for a friendly gesture and I plant a friendly, and social kiss on it.

The Chancellor, and his Vice Chancellors as well as the assistant are awed at this exchange and the Chancellor politely with a little reverence in his voice asks Kate, “Miss Kavanagh, would you be kind enough to escort Mr. Grey to his seat at the podium please? He would like to look over his speech.”

“Certainly Chancellor,” she says politely, and leads the way.

Once we are out of their earshot, I turn and ask her, “Did Anastasia make it home last night?” fervently and worried.

“Yes she did,” she says flatly.

“Are you sure?” I ask frowning.

“Of course, I saw her this morning. She listened to my speech rehearsal. Why do you ask?” she says.

“No reason,” I say. “I wanted to make sure she got home, but she didn’t call me,” I say.

She narrows her eyes with her shark reporter gaze on me, looking directly into my eyes, “Are you treating my best friend right?” she asks with an undercurrent of threat.

“Yes,” I say firmly.

“Why did she seem upset this morning then?” she asks.

“She was upset?” I say my voice raising half a notch.

“Yes she was. Though she used her patented distraction technique, but if you lived with someone for four years, you get to learn their quirk well enough. What did you do to her to make her upset?” she gets closer her gaze threatening.

I stare right back at her.

“What did she say?” I ask forcefully.

 “Why would I tell you?” she points her finger right in my chest. I narrow my eyes to her.

“Because I was worried about her in that death trap of hers she calls her car, and I wanted to make sure she got home in one piece! If you were a good friend who is worried about her well-being, you would be on the same page as I am!” I said removing her finger politely.

“Oh Christian! I’m sorry! Of course I’m worried about her driving that car, but you have to understand. She doesn’t have limitless amounts of money, like some people,” she says giving me a pointed look. “You can’t criticize her like that and make her feel bad about herself!” she says. But I know my statement disarmed Kate for her to be loquacious like this about Anastasia, she otherwise wouldn’t be. “She must have been worried about something, but that’s Ana,” she says, “I thought it was just graduation jitters. She’s very closed when it comes to her feelings. Now come to think of it, she was diverting my attention, and since I was preoccupied with my speech, I didn’t pay as much attention as I should have.” I nod. We’re at the podium already. The auditorium is crowded, and we have to raise our voices to hear each other better. The students and their parents are trying to locate their seats in the chaos before the podium.

“Do me a favor after the commencement is completed,” I say firmly.

“Depends on what you ask of me,” she says without blinking.

Let me put it this way then: I want you to find Anastasia after the commencement, and send her to me,” I say my gaze piercing hers. To her credit, she doesn’t waver.

“Why should I do that for you?” she asks.

“You’re not doing this for me. You are doing this for your best friend who will get a lot more miserable if she doesn’t get to talk to me,” I say firmly, steadily, and pointedly.

“Why would she be miserable? Will you hurt her?” she asks threatening, almost daring me.

I’m taken aback. “Of course not!” I say. She’s in her mother hen mode again which I’ve witnessed before.

Because if you hurt her any way Grey, I will have your balls on a plate!” she says with a malicious threat unexpected of a girl who is pretty, small and unthreatening in appearance.

IF,” I say emphasizing, “you don’t get me talking to her after the commencement, she will get hurt, and not by me either! It will all be in your hands. I’m supposed to go back to Seattle. We might have something special going between us, but she may feel threatened of who I am, of my wealth. I want her to get pass through those. But if she doesn’t,” I say gambling, “I’ll move on. I’m a busy man Katherine, I don’t have time to waste,” I say not wanting to give her too much to run off with. She measures what I'm saying to her, and I can see that she's mulling it in her head.

Just get her to me after the commencement,” I say firmly.

Fine. I’ll get her to you. But my threat stands. If you hurt her, it’s your balls...” she says with a lot of implication. And the subject is closed.

“We have to wait till everyone else takes their seats,” she says changing topics. At exactly eleven o’clock the Chancellor and his Vice Chancellors come and take their seat. Professors, and others line up, and Katherine and I end up in the last row. We each take our seats, and our conversation ends.

The students have taken their seats before us in the auditorium as the parents and friends seat themselves in the bleachers. The voices are louder and after everyone has taken their seats, the students rise up and applaud the lined up protocol before them. Once the applauding subsides, we all get seated again.

As I sit down, I undo the button on my single-breasted gray suit jacket revealing my silver tie. Should Miss Steele’s eyes find and gleam at me, she’ll see my meaning.

The Chancellor gets up, approaches the podium, and starts the proceedings with his speech. My eyes are slowly, and discreetly searching for her in the sea of students who are wearing the same cap and robe. I search for her like a lost planet looking for its sun.

Not that one... No, not that brunette. Not her... I scan the faces one by one still managing to look uninterested and casual.

There she is! Our gazes lock. (←Send Me on My Way by Rusted Root)   She was trying to hide in her seat! Why? I stare at her keeping the longing out of my gaze. Impassive, blank. But questioning. Even from this distance, I know I found my sun. I found my place. I located my soul. She’s here. It’s both relief, and exasperation. She’s well, but she hasn’t answered my e-mails, or my phone calls, neither did she return them.  Why would she do that? Why is she trying to run away from me when I can see her squirming in her seat even when I’m this far away. I know she wants me. I have the same effect on her as she has on me! We’re both lost without each other! In each other we find ourselves.

Her gaze goes down to my tie, and it has the effect I expected it to make. This is only the Flush baby. I still have my backup plans of Full House, Four of a Kind, and Straight Flush. Yes, I intend to win today! A small smile creeps up on my lips as her squirming in her seat becomes a little more evident though she’s trying hard to conceal it. She’s remembering exactly what we did with the aid of this little tie which is now my favorite impromptu arsenal. But her squirming is doing its job on me, and I feel that I’m getting an erection. Damn! It has to be suppressed given the present company. I close my eyes briefly trying to escape her captivation. Because if I keep looking at her, I may as well be giving my speech with a tent poking out of my pants! When I open my eyes, my indifferent gaze is back firmly, and I stare at the Chancellor whose sight is sure to douse the fire. I switch my gaze to ordinary things, and finally find the non-dangerous inanimate object in the school logo hanging right above the entrance.  It’d be impossible for me to look at her again without the obvious effects since I’ve had this pent up sexual energy for days, my overflowing desire, and given last night’s near miss, I can’t take the chance. Nothing short of having her, claiming her, making love to her – well maybe that can come later- the way I feel right now I have to fuck her every which way possible for an entire day and night just to barely dim this fucking fire that is consuming me! So I keep my gaze away from her.

I’m pulled away from my reveries after hearing Katherine Kavanagh’s name called for the Valedictorian Speech. She captivates the audience which doesn’t surprise me as she has mastered to work the crowd being her father’s daughter. Yet, I’m still impressed with her delivery of her lines. Once she’s done with her speech, the audience goes wild, and she receives a standing ovation; her peers cheering at her.

Then the Chancellor introduces me saying, “I now would like to introduce you to a young entrepreneur who has managed to find his place not only in the State of Washington, but in the entire U.S. as well as the international stage. He is also a major benefactor of Washington State University. Please welcome Christian Grey,” and with that introduction, it’s my turn to give my speech. Upon hearing my name, the audience present gives a polite but subdued applause. I take my place at the podium.

“I am utterly grateful, and very touched by the compliments accorded to me by the Chancellor on behalf of WSU. Thank you! This presents me with a rare opportunity to talk about the School of Environmental Science at WSU is doing which is quite impressive to say the least. We aim to develop viable and ecologically sustainable methods of farming for the third world countries, and ultimately help eradicate hunger and poverty around the world. ..“

I go on to talk about African, Sub-Saharan and South American countries where the ecological destruction is wreaking havoc, and causing hunger. I also talk about my own hunger before I was adopted. This piece is for Miss Steele’s benefit. I’m baring myself for all others to see but ultimately to tell her that I’m approachable, that there is more to me than what I get to do in my, as she put it, Red Room of Pain. That I was not always rich, that I’ve made my own way. What I have wasn’t something I inherited; but I worked exceptionally hard towards making happen.  Because I don’t ever want to be poor or hungry again! Ever! I want her to understand this part of my control freakery as far as why I ask her to eat and finish what she has on her plate are concerned. This is part of my compromise to her. Although it is public record that I’ve been adopted, the details of my past are not public record; not that if you’re snoopy enough you won’t be able to find out; but it requires a lot of digging, and this part is my own to share. See Miss Steele, I can be open... I’m laying part of my dark past bare for you... This is me in all my fuckedup self! Take me as I am... (←Everything I Do by Bryan Adams) Ordinarily, I wouldn’t like to talk about what I do for others. Maybe I’m still trying to suppress the hunger of the little boy I once was, but my team tells me that it’s beneficial for the university for brining awareness from someone in my position; and it takes money to bring in money from other donors. As I close my speech, I say, “This is a very personal journey for me...” inconspicuously looking at her. I smile at the audience at the end of my speech, and even Miss Kavanagh the ball crasher is applauding me fervently.

Finally it’s time for handing out the diplomas.  But, there are over four hundred students to give diplomas to and her last name starts with the letter ‘S’ for God's sake! Over an hour, many diplomas and countless handshakes later, I hear her name called, and my heart stutters for a second.

I’m relieved to have her in my clear eye sight. My gaze gets warm with one look at her, but I remain guarded. She walks up to me, her diploma is in my hand. I gaze down at her; and once our hands touch and get connected, the jolt of electricity start running between each other at a rising rate.

“Congratulations, Miss Steele,” I say as I shake her hand, squeezing it gently. Wishing I didn’t have to let it go. I lean a little bit more in and ask, “Is something the matter with your laptop?” and hand her diploma to her.

“No,” she says frowning and confused.

Then you are ignoring my messages?” I say hurt, though I push that emotion and hide it well.

“I only saw the mergers and acquisitions message,” she says confusing me. Oh, she’s talking about the e-mail I sent her last night. So, she didn’t see the other messages I’ve sent?

Seeing the line is backed-up, I say “Later,” and she moves along the line. Another hour and many more handshakes, and quite a few gawking male and female students later, the diplomas are all handed out. Once they’re all done, I make sure I don’t give any attention to Miss Steele. She’s going to be desirous, and I will have her beg me by the end of the night. The occupants of the podium, including myself and Miss Kavanagh vacate the stage without a backward glance at her.

Once we’re done with the ceremony, I shake the hand of the Chancellor, and excuse myself to speak to Miss Kavanagh.

Kate! I need you to go get Anastasia right now!” She glares at me, but nods and moves to get her.  Once Kate leaves, I’m occupied by the Chancellor and couple of the teaching staff who are dying to acquaint themselves with me.  

I feel her gaze on my back as she walks up with her roommate Kate. I turn my head and see her.

“Excuse me gentlemen,” I murmur to my company. I smile at Kate, and thank her. Without waiting for Kate’s reply I take Anastasia’s elbow as I have run out of all the patience I could muster, and walk her away from the crowd to find a private place which presents itself in the form of a men's locker room and I take her into it; I check to see if there are any occupants, and finding it empty, I lock the door.

Then I turn on her with all my frustration that had accumulated over the week and glare at her:

“Why haven’t you e-mailed me or texted me back?” (← Just Another Day Without You by John Secata) I ask fervently. She looks perplexed, and answers. “I haven’t had a chance to check my laptop or cell phone today. Just been busy getting ready.” Then she changes the topic, “But anyway, that was great speech Christian.”

“Thank you,” I find myself saying automatically as years of manners my parents have engrained in on us take over.

“I understand your food issues now.” Although I’m glad that my effort worked, with less than two inches between us, I could care less. I’m doubly exasperated running both my hands through my hair. Doesn’t she understand how worried I was about her in that death trap of a car? She didn't  call or write, or text me back... It was irresponsible! I had no hold over her, so I had to find out from Katherine Kavanagh to learn that she was okay! She’s putting me through the ringer, and torturing me!

I pace couple of steps within the confined space, get my breathing down, and turn to her once I feel my control is slipping back in. “Anastasia, I don’t want to talk about my past right now.” I close my eyes with the pain of not having her, not having a say in keeping her safe, and her defying me and not being able to do a shit about is worrying me immensely! I look at her with all the intensity of my emotions without feeling the need to hide it: “I’ve been worried sick about you!” I whisper fervently.

“Why were you worried?” she says confused.

Did she not listen to me last night? She drove away in a mobile death box! “Only because you were driving a death trap! Do I need any more reason?” I utter.

“What?” she says petulantly. “Wanda,” she corrects herself, “my car, is not a deathtrap. Jose services my car regularly!” she utters. The would-be rapist is also her car mechanic? The fucker who plagued my nightmare last night? My eyes grow cold. I barely contain myself. I find my jealousy growing by the bounds in a second.

“You said Jose. Would that be the photographer? Your would-be rapist?” I say narrowing my gaze on her.

“Yes, that Jose. Only because he knows the car well, because it used to be his mother’s car,” she says rapidly to appease my rising anger.

“Of course it did!” I say, “It’s probably a family antique. It must have descended all the way from his great-great-great grandmother! That car is dangerous!” I find myself saying my voice hoarse with some unknown emotion.

“Christian, you’re overreacting; I’ve driven her for over three years. I’m actually very sorry I worried you. It wasn’t intentional. Why didn’t you call me?”

How could I sit here and explain that I called, texed, and e-mailed her numerous times without a response? I have to have an answer before I combust right here in front of her. I’m losing control. It’s slipping out of my hand, and with this proximity, I don’t know if I can handle it! I take two deep breaths to find my center closing my eyes. I seem to lose every last bit of control in her vicinity. But then again, her absence does the same and worse to me! What is she doing to me like this?

I open my eyes, and lower my gaze to her with all its intensity baring my soul, “I need an answer from you Anastasia! This waiting,” I close my eyes again to escape her pull, “this not knowing what you will say, or do is driving me insane! I’m going crazy.” I open my eyes, and look for a sign from her. (← I'm on Fire by Bruce Springsteen)

“Oh.. Christian, look, I’ve left my stepdad on his own and he is waiting for me. “

Ok. You have till tomorrow. I want...” I say, “no, I need your answer by tomorrow. “ I say fervently.

“Alright. I’ll have my answer tomorrow,” and she blinks up at me.

I want to make sure that she’s serious, and not toying with me. I take a step back and look at her. Her demeanor tells me that she’s being truthful, relieving me. I feel myself relaxing; I didn’t even know my whole body, from my toes to my shoulders were tense!

“Will you be staying for drinks?” I ask.

“Oh, I’m not sure what my stepdad Ray wants to do.” For the first time since I relaxed a little, I realize that her stepfather is here. I’d like to meet him, because that would give me another opportunity to get to know Anastasia better.
"Could you introduce me to your step-dad?" I ask.
Her look falls, disappointed. “Christian, I’m not sure if that’s a good idea,” she says. This hurts my feelings beyond belief, and I don’t even get a chance to hide my feelings. But I manage to suppress it to my hard lined lips.

Are you ashamed of me Ana?” I whisper.

“No!” she says fervently.
"What then?" I probe.
“Christian, how do I introduce you to him, as my what? ‘Hey dad, here’s the man who deflowered your daughter, and now he wants to start a BDSM relationship with her. Meet my prospective Dominant!’ You’re not wearing your running shoes!” she says. I like to be mad at her, but I find a smile creeping up on my lips which I unsuccessfully try to suppress it.

“Just so you know  Anastasia,” I say smiling, “I can run quite fast. Why don’t you just introduce me as your friend?”

I unlock the door, and lead her out. We walk back to the crowd. I go to stay with the Chancellor, all three of the Vice Chancellors, four faculty members, and Katherine as Anastasia rushes to find her step dad like a bat out of hell surprising all of them who stare behind her. Not six minutes later I see her walking in the arm of her step dad. But out of nowhere this blonde good looking fucker who is full of self-confidence comes, and sweeps her off the floor twirling her around like a little girl! Katherine notices my glare out of the corner of my eye, but before she says anything I excuse myself from my company. Katherine scuttles behind me. My cold gaze locked on Anastasia as the blonde fucker’s arm wraps around her like a lover’s embrace. If looks could kill, that fucker would be dead as soon as he touched Anastasia!

Kate is walking beside me as we reach to the trio, my eyes glued on the hands holding Anastasia’s waist possessively. This man can wrap around her like a snake, but she can’t even tell her dad I’m her friend? Kate surprises me by going up to Ray, greeting him and kissing him on both cheeks.

“Hello, Ray!” she says cheerfully. Then she drops the bomb, “have you met Ana’s boyfriend? Christian Grey.

The look on Anastasia’s face is priceless. You know like those commercials...

Finishing a four year degree, hundred-thousand Dollars; graduation cap and gown, two-hundred Dollars, your best friend introducing your would-be Dom to your father on the day of your graduation, priceless!

And that was the tag on her facial expression: Priceless. She was short of hyperventilating, as she didn’t even have time to pick her jaw up off the floor. I think if Ray wasn’t here, it should be Katherine that should have had her running shoes. The thought of it makes it worthwhile for the introduction. In a way, I’m glad she introduced me as her boyfriend. That should get the fucker’s possessive hands off of her! But it doesn’t.

“Mr. Steele, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” I say proffering my hand for Anastasia’s step-dad.

“Mr. Grey,” he says as his shock initial shock is wearing out. Then Katherine says, “And this is my brother, Ethan Kavanagh,” ever the social butterfly with the introductions.

“Mr. Kavanagh,” I say coldly. We shake hands, and since the bloody introductions is over, I extend my hand for Anastasia and call her, “Ana, baby,” and pull her away from the fucker’s grip. Inadvertently his sister helped me to declare my territory, and surprisingly, I find myself rather pleased with this new title I hold. I mentally try it for size: boyfriend. Anastasia’s boyfriend. I quite like that! Maybe more than I should...

Anastasia takes my proffered hand, and I pull her into my embrace where she belongs. As if on cue, Katherine says, “Ethan, Mom and Dad wanted a word,” dragging her brother away whose gaze keeps drifting back to Anastasia and me.

Anastasia’s step-dad turns his curious gaze back on us and says, “how long have you kids known each other?” while managing to look impassive, and taciturn but I know the look well, as I’ve mastered it. There is a mountain of questions, and right now he wants to know his daughter is safe.

Anastasia is safely in my arms, my fingers graze her bare back in her halter dress. Apparently she ditched the robe, and I approve what’s under my hand, I calmly answer her step-dad’s question:

“Couple of weeks or so now sir. We’ve met when Anastasia came to interview me for the student magazine,” I say smoothly.

He turns to her and says accusingly, “Didn’t know you worked at the magazine Ana. You never told me,” almost suspecting a lie.

“Kate was ill, so I came in her place,” says Anastasia, and her father nods.

“It was a great speech Mr. Grey,” he says finally with a tone of acquiescence.

“Thank you, sir,” I reply, and go for the kill, “I understand you’re a keen fisherman,” and he’s hooked.

“Yes, I love fishing!” he says enthusiastically. “Do you fish?”

“As much as I can get away. My father, my brother and I like to go fishing. You know, for some guy time...” I say, and he grins knowing the bonding element in fishing. We talk about hooks, and baits, and waters with good fishing. I see from my peripheral vision that Anastasia is both shocked at how quickly we are bonding over fishing and she’s also bored with the conversation. She excuses herself to go and find her roommate. Her absence gives me a chance to talk to her step-dad more frankly.

“Please, Mr. Steele. I’m your daughter’s boyfriend. Call me Christian,” I say, and his grin widens.

“Christian,” he tries it for size, and reciprocates, “a man who knows his fishing is alright in my book! Call me Ray!” he says sincerely. And that’s that; we’re bonded.

“I’m so glad I got to meet you sir,” I say with all my honesty.

“If I may bring a concern I have for Anastasia’s safety,” I say grabbing all his attention.

“Her safety? Is she in any kind of danger?” he asks with fervent concern in his tone.

“I believe so, though it’s not what you think. I got to see the vehicle she drives the other day, and it is not roadworthy. Though she seems to have an attachment to it, because you’ve purchased it. I know I can easily rectify this situation, because I would never forgive myself should something happen to her. So, I guess what I’m asking is if I may replace her current vehicle that you’ve purchased, with a safer vehicle? That will give me a big piece of mind, and I’m sure it would give you one as well,” I say.

“Oh. Christian, that’s a very generous offer, but we couldn’t be able to make payments...” he says, but I hold my hand up to stop him.

“Sir, it’s not a loan. It’s a graduation present for her. What good would it do for me to purchase something she wouldn’t need when I can give both of us piece of mind knowing that she’s out in the traffic safely. I worry about her a lot, and she seems to be very uncoordinated which raises my anxiety levels when it comes to her driving in that vehicle,” I say.

When Ray hears about Anastasia’s coordination issue, he knows what I’m talking about, and says grinning, “In that case Christian, you have my blessing. Go ahead. It might give me a piece of mind as well!”

“Thank you sir! And I would appreciate it if you didn’t mention this to her, because I want to do it as a surprise for her,” I say, and he reaches out and pats me on the back, approving. While we’re reaching the end of our graduation gift topic, Anastasia  walks back from visiting with her roommate. Her step-father asks where he can find the restrooms, and Anastasia directs him. “I’ll see you kids in a little bit. Enjoy yourselves,” he says and walks in the direction of the restrooms. Anastasia takes a look at me, and her gaze is nervous. A photographer approaches us, and asks if he could take our picture. I inwardly smile. I had three new firsts today. I met Anastasia’s father – first parent of any girl, sub, slave, or otherwise I ever met, then asked his permission to purchase a car for her, and now, we’ve had our picture taken together. I’ve never appeared with a woman in pictures before.
“Thank you Mr. Grey,” says the photographer, and scurries away.
“I see that you’ve charmed my father as well...” says Anastasia, but what I focus on is what she didn’t say. Did I charm her too?

“As well, you say?” I ask her raising my eyebrows. She flushes. Shyness. But that’s not entirely it. She flushes most often because her desire for me has risen many notches. I lift her chin with my hand gently, and trace her cheek with my fingers.

“What are you thinking Anastasia?” I ask her in whispers. “What I wouldn’t give to know!” I say fervently, cupping her face, lifting her head so that we gaze into each other’s eyes intently. Her breath hitches. Though this is a crowded tent, all of a sudden we become oblivious to everyone. It’s just me and Anastasia.

I chuckle with the memory this tie is bringing to both of us, and say, “yes, it’s is nice. And quite recently it became my favorite.” She blushes redder than the Chinese flag. She’s lovely! She’s hot for me! She desires me right this moment, and wants to make love to me. It’s all in her gaze, and her body language, and the way she’s disregarding everyone surrounding us. The charge between us gets solid, palpable, tangible.
“You know it’s going to be good, don’t you baby?” I whisper. She closes her eyes with the intensity of her desire for me.
“But I want more,” she whispers. I know she wants more. It’s been in my dreams for days! She wants hearts and flowers.
“You want hearts and flowers,” I state, and she simply nods in confirmation.
“More,” I say trying the word on for size. Its taste is strange in my mouth. I’ve used it before, and didn’t like it; I didn’t concede to it. But with Anastasia, I’m here to compromise. I can’t escape her pull. But, I don’t know if I can do it! I have to be honest with her.

“Anastasia,” I could barely whisper, “baby, that’s not something I know.”

“Me neither,” she says. My heart melts. That’s my baby... I smile a little.

“Baby, you don’t know much,” I say. And whatever little she knows, she’s learned it in the last few days from yours truly.

“And what you know are all the wrong things,” she whispers. Why would she think that?

“Wrong? It’s not wrong to me,” I say shaking my head. “Please, try it,” I whisper challenging her, daring her to take the leap, and I give her my smile reserved only for her cocking my head to the side.

Her breath hitches with a gasp.

She looks intently into my eyes. I’m scared that she’ll say “No!” and run. But what I hear shocks me to my core!

“Okay,” she whispers.

I can’t believe my ears! She grabbed all my attention by the balls and I look into her eyes intently, trying not to misunderstand her. She swallows.

What?” I ask not believing my ears trying to confirm her answers.

“I said, Okay...” she pauses, “I’ll try.”

I’ve never been this happy in my entire life as I am right now. But I don’t want to be overjoyed if I’m misunderstanding something, and then later be disappointed. My heart can’t take it!

“You’re agreeing?” I ask with disbelief in my voice.

“I am, subject to the soft limits. So, my answer is yes. I’ll try,” she says in a small voice. But, third time is the charm, and I’m elated beyond belief. This is birthday, Christmas, and unexpected and desired present all bundled in one. I automatically pull her into my embrace, closing my eyes.

“Christ, Ana! You’re utterly unexpected. You take my breath away,”I say with awe, reverence and admiration in my voice. (← Take my Breath Away by Berlin) I don’t know whether to hold her, kiss her, or just take her away from here to have my way with her! I’m beyond happy!

Her step-father shows up when I’m entangled in my thoughts. When I see her step-father, I’m overjoyed enough to not to be able to conceal my feelings that I don’t care if the Pope himself showed up to admonish me!  My eyes gleam with an undisguised happiness.

“Annie, could we get some lunch? I’m starved with all this waiting around,” he says.

“Okay,” she says, meanwhile trying to center herself. Ray turns his head to me and asks, “Would you like to join us for lunch Christian?” Anastasia gazes up to me with her big blue eyes almost terrified with the prospect of being under the scrutiny of two men in her life. The thought makes me incredibly happy. I’m the main man in her life now! Me! I don’t think, an emperor who conquered a country of his deepest desires could be as elated and joyful  and fucking happy as I am right this moment! So, I’ll give you this with your father Miss Steele. I can finally acquiesce to be apart from you knowing that I can have you in my arms, back where you belong...

“Thank you Mr. Steele, but I have other plans sir. It’s been an honor to meet you,” I say.

“Likewise Christian,” he says, “Remember to look after my baby girl,” he says conspiratorially.

It makes me smile, “Oh, I fully intend to, Mr. Steele.” We shake hands. I turn my gaze on Anastasia. She just takes my breath away. I take her hand into mine, and raise it to my lips, kiss each of the knuckles tenderly, my eyes and gaze are ember with my salacity and desire for her looking into hers.


Taylor as always finds me as soon as he knows I’m away from my company and its time to go. He takes one look at my face, and I can see he gives a slow sigh of relief, and mutters under his breath looking ahead expressionless, “Congratulations sir!” as if I've completed the rescue mission without a hitch. I nod in response, still reeling in from giddiness.

“Where to sir?” he asks.

“Take me back to Heathman’s,” I say. I need to have lunch, and work seeing as I’ve done my big share of conquering this morning.

I order in, and get to work. Taylor and I go for a run in the evening to work out. Taylor’s mood is lifted in direct proportion with mine. God! This woman can wiggle her little finger and take us men all in! She’ll be the death of me. My beautiful poison, and antidote... When we come back, I take a shower. I quickly dress in my white t-shirt and jeans. I quickly make my way to my laptop to type a message to Anastasia.


From: Christian Grey
Subject: Soft Limits
Date: May 26 2011 17:23
To: Anastasia Steele

Is there anything I can say that I haven’t already?
Anytime you wish to talk about these, I’d be happy to talk to you.
You looked breathtaking tonight.

Christian Grey
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.


I can fucking barely contain myself.  Her response is instantaneous. As soon as the e-mail dings, I click on it my hands are shaking.


From: Anastasia Steele
Subject: Soft Limits
Date: May 26 2011 17:24
To: Christian Grey

I can come over this evening to discuss if it’s convenient for you.



Convenient? Baby, I’ve been waiting for you to just nod at me for a while now! I’ve been starved for your affection. If she doesn’t know how to punish with sex, or if she doesn’t have an innate ability, I’d change my name! She has a natural mastery; I’m ready to explode. But I don’t want her to drive in that death-trap for one thing, and two, if she comes, she can leave anytime. I want to have it in my terms. I type her a response right away.


From: Christian Grey
Subject: Soft Limits
Date: May 26 2011 17:28
To: Anastasia Steele

Anastasia, I’d rather come to you. Please believe me when I say that I’m quite unhappy with you driving that car of yours.
I’ll be with you shortly.

Christian Grey
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.


I’m already dressed.

“Taylor!” I call.

“Yes sir,” he shows up right away.

“Two things. One, call the bar, and have them ready a chilled bottle of ‘Bollinger Grande Année Rosé 1999’ and have the SUV ready to drive me to Miss Steele’s in 10 minutes. You can drop me off, and be back at nine,” I say.

“Yes, sir,” he says to go and place the wine order.

I print a copy of Anastasia’s e-mail, and a copy of the contract. Fold it, and put the papers in my jacket. Make my way downstairs to meet Taylor.
More to come later in the week. Thank you for coming and reading. Your thoughs and comments mean a lot. ♥‿♥ ✿ܓ


Anonymous said...

ok you mentioned a surprise!!! Cant wait :) love the chapter

Kate said...

I've been loving what you've been writing! Through reading all of the trilogy I always had questions in the back of my mind as to what Christian would be thinking and doing when not with Ana so after reading "Meet Fifty Shades" at the end of the last book I craved more! Thank you for all you've been doing, it's wonderful!

Anonymous said...

So good! Fantastic writing! I just can't get enough!!! Thanks for getting it out so early! Can't wait for the next chapter , I check back every hour, pathetic of me but I'm so obsessed with mr grey and I just want more of the story! Well done! From nz

Anonymous said...

Lol your not pathetic or well maybe we all are just obsessed!!! I do the same thing. :) looking forward to the next chapter. Next two chapters well bring it cause I too can't get enough of Grey either he he Awesome work!!!

Anonymous said...

I am loving your version of Christian's POV! Obsessed. Keep up the good work and I am definitely checking on here daily to see if you have posted anew chapter!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for this chapter and the bonus. When's the next chapter due? Cannot wait!!!!

Anonymous said...

I really enjoyed this chapter and am looking forward to the next. I can't get enough of this!

Anonymous said...

Your work is amazing! I have now reached this chapter and I don't want it to end! You've captured Christian's POV amazingly well. So grateful to be introduced to this blog. Hope to read much more work from you!

Anonymous said...

Loving this and know that I am late reading this. had no idea it was here.. so thank you.. While reading the books, I was wondering what was going thru his mind, and I can see him thinking most of this.. But then again the movie will tell.. Can't wait for that.. My pick from the get go..have always been Henry Cavill. He is tall and can lift her and mold her in his lap.. Ian is sooo good looking, but all I will be able to see is the difference in height. He is short. Got to be over 6 foot as it states in the book. Ana is a tiny bit of a girl, and having someone meet Christian at eye level is not going to get it.. I tell you who would make a great Ana,, is Jullianne Hough. Think that is the way it's spelled.. Gosh would her boyfriend have a fit..And being it's been said nothing is being held back..They got to be good..And Please if they cast Kristen Stewart with this.. I am over it.. Could not take her in Twilight that was all wrong, but even though he is busy at the moment, Rob Pattinson would be great at this..he is not shy in the least. So we shall see soon. I hear things are moving great and she (El James) is going to make a choice soon. She is a great judge of who she wants, and I think she will do well.. Either way, we have to wait.. it's the waiting that bothers me.. But I think other books keep me busy with the hopes of more movies that hold our interest like these do..Do we not agree ladies???

Penny Brueggemann said...

Emine, I just can't thank you enough. I am starting at the beginning again and just can't get over how you make this love story better and better....hopefully we will have a new chapter soon!

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your amazing work!!!
By reading your work, it makes me smile for the day.

Your admire from BKK, Thailand ^^

Anonymous said...

Wow, you have written this so brilliantly that I have given up the idea of writing my version of Grey. You have given words to my thoughts, far eloquently than I could have.