Friday, April 27, 2012




I pace around the room running both my hands in my hair doubly exasperated.

I stop, and ask, “Why Anastasia?”I walk back and forth again. “You should have told me you were a virgin!” I say coming before her.

“Well, I’m sorry Mr. Grey!” she reprimands me. “I’m not in the habit of mentioning everyone I meet the status of my virginity. The subject somehow never came up. Why should I in the first place? Or how should that have come about? I hardly know you. What did you want me to say? Hello Mr. Grey. Nice to meet you. My name is Anastasia Steele, the virgin!" she says exasperated, disappointed and upset all at once lowering her gaze. She asks me in guilt laden low voice, "Why are you mad at me anyway?” 

I sigh. “Because you know so much about me now. And I’m mad at myself, not at you. I knew you were inexperienced, but a virgin!” Oh God! I feel embarrassed. I open my mouth, and close it. Open it again feeling a loss for words. It happens a lot with her.

“I just showed you...” pointing upstairs. “Oh Dear God! May He forgive me! Tell me, did you even get a kiss from a young man aside from me?” Am I her first kiss too?

She looks affronted, “of course I have!” she scolds me.

“But, you’re a very beautiful young woman! Has no man ever swept you off your feet and claimed you?” I ask exasperated.

“I’ve never met one I liked enough... Never had my fairytale...” (Love Story by Taylor Swift) she mutters looking at her small hands again. “Why do you keep yelling at me Christian?” she asks with her innocent blue eyes wide open, hurt.

“I’m not,” I say softly, “I presumed more than I ought...” All of a sudden I have this crushing feeling. She might slip through my fingers. I don’t want to take advantage of her. She’s more innocent than I thought. “Do you wish to go?” I whisper.

Her head snaps up, “not really. Of course if you don’t want me, I don’t want to wear out my welcome...” she looks hurt. I gasp. I don’t want her to go. Ever.

“I don’t,” I emphasize, “want you to go. I like you here. And you’re biting your lip,” noticing, I state huskily.

“I apologize,” she mutters shyly.

“You don’t need to apologize Anastasia. I wanted to bite that lip... hard... Since the first time I noticed it.” I say longingly. She gasps audibly with desire. I am putty in her hands. I proffer my hand to her and she absently takes it, “come with me,” I say. “We’re going to rectify your situation.” She looks puzzled.

“What situation?”

“Your virginity. I’m going to make love to you now Anastasia,” I say with desire in my eyes and voice to her.

“I’m a situation now?” she says holding her breath.

“You have a situation, but I don’t want to push my luck. I mean, if you don’t want to, we don’t have to,” I look at her with desire, pleading. She stops in her tracks with curiosity, question and desire in her eyes.

“I thought you said you never make love. You just fuck hard,” swallowing. Her straightforward observations disarm me and increase my desire for her. My grin is salacious and full of desire.

“I intend to make an exception to the rule, or perhaps combine the two. But right now, I want to make love to you badly. I want this to work Ana!” I say pleading, “You’ve no idea how much I’ve desired and wanted you since the first time you sprawled into my office.” But I don’t want her to get the wrong idea that I’m a romance guy. She needs to have the full disclosure, and what I want and expect. “I’m not all hearts and flowers, and this isn’t romance, but a start for your training. It’s a means to an end. But it’s an arrangement I want to work out very badly. I hope you desire that as well!” I say fervently.

She blushes to her hairline crimson.

“But Christian. I’ve done nothing in your list, and know nothing, or don’t know how to fulfill your requirements for that matter. I don’t know if I’m...” she blushes more, “equipped with what you want. What you need...” she looks down.

“Oh, you are more than equipped with what I want. As for the rules. Fuck them! At this moment I don’t give a shit about them. I fucking want you, and I know you want me, or wanted me. Since you’re still here, I assume you still do,” (← Tonight I'm fucking you by Enrique Iglesias) I hear an audible desirous gasp from her confirming my assumption.

“Please Anastasia! Let me make love to you! Stay with me tonight!” I say fervently, extending my hand to her absolutely hoping that she says ‘yes’. She looks stupefied. Shocked. Desirous. But unable to move. To convince her and remind her how much I want her, I pull her into my arms, hard, and press her into me in one swift action. I am out of breath with her proximity, it’s intoxicating, heady. Desire pours over me as I run my fingers through her luscious hair down to her long neck. She lowers her gaze completely shy, hiding her beautiful eyes. I want to see them. All of a sudden I yank her hair down forcefully with one hand making her look up to me. Into my eyes without letting her gaze move away from me. I want her to see the depths of my desire for her. Her facial expression says she wants me. Desires me. We’re locked, unable to escape each other.

She bites her lip absently, and I groan lowering my head down. With my right hand I release the lip from the captivity of her teeth, and take it into my mouth and suck hard slightly nipping with my teeth. She moans loudly into my mouth, and that is my undoing. I start kissing her hard, my tongue invading her mouth. Her tongue and her mouth reacquaint herself with me, and we’re lost in each other in our kiss for a long time. My hard length pressing on her demanding.

“Please Anastasia!” I plead. “I want you. I need you. Let me make love to you.”

“Yes,” she whispers. Her single word of approval hitches my breath shutting my eyes in relief. When I open them back up, there is desire, want, wantonness, salacity in my entire being for her.

With her approval, I take her hand without leaving my gaze off of her, lead her to my bedroom. It’s quite big with floor to ceiling windows with a view of the city of Seattle. My room is ultra-modern with white walls and pale blue furnishing. I have a grey driftwood four poster bed. The walls have the painting of the ocean. She barely glances around, but shaking like a leaf. Her breathing is shallow like a scared rabbit. I want her to feel at ease. I let go of her removing my watch. I put it on the dresser. I then take my jacket off, and put it on the chair neatly and slowly. She doesn’t leave her gaze off of me. I’ll make a show of this then knowing full well how it will affect her. She looks at my white linen shirt and her eyes linger on my jeans. Her eyes travel to my torso and finally reaching my hair. I let my shirt loose over my jeans, my gaze meeting hers. I step down and take my sneakers off. Then very slowly remove my socks. She’s drinking me in. Once I take my socks off, I stand and gaze at her softly. I just remembered an important thing. I don’t want to knock her up on her first experience.

“You’re not on any sort of birth control, are you Anastasia?” I ask doubtful.

She blushes, “No,” she answers. I didn’t think so. I nod. I ask her if she prefers the blinds closed, she says she doesn’t care. She is so nervous, I don’t think she would answer any differently if I asked her to make love with me in the balcony. She then blurts out, “I thought you didn’t let anyone to sleep in your bed.”

Oh, I have other things in mind, and none of which involves sleeping. “I don’t think we’ll be ‘sleeping’,” I say giving her a wicked gleam.

She inhales sharply saying, ”Oh.”

Now or never. The expectation and anticipation is at the brim, and I’m ready to explode. I stroll towards her, my eyes ablaze. I can see her expectation, and desire hot. She looks up to me as I stand before her looking into her eyes. She’s incredibly beautiful in her innocence.

I want to peel her clothes off of her starting with the jacket. I softly indicate my intention, and slowly slide off the jacket building her anticipation. I slowly put it away. My gaze on her with desire. We’re locked.

“Have you any idea how much I desire you Anastasia?” I ask her, and I see her melt before me. I’m a fireball of desire for this beautiful girl. She’s beguiled me, hypnotized me, and bewitched me. I stare at her beautiful blue eyes fervently and lean down and kiss firmly and slowly at first. My kiss becomes expectant and demanding. When I release her desire is running amuck, and I’m hers. ( I’m yours by Jason Mraz) I am completely, utterly, and hopelessly hooked on her.

I want to feel her, caressing her cheek, her lips and neck desire completely bubbling within me. I find myself whispering, “Do you have any idea at all how much I want to make love to you?”even surprising myself. I lean down and place kisses on her jaw, lips, neck as she closes her eyes in ecstasy. I pull her shirt and thug and peel it off of her. She’s standing before me in a light blue lacy bra and her black jeans like the image of Botticelli’s Birth of Venus, but even more beautiful, innocent, and alluring. I drink her in. Her skin is so pale and so flawless, I want to kiss and touch each and every inch of it. When I make my intentions clear to her, she looks at me shy her eyes widening, her breath taking a sharp intake.

I touch her dark chestnut hair, and murmur, “I like brunettes.” I run my fingers through her hair, caress her cheeks with the tips of my fingers feeling the jolt between us once again. Her pull is inescapable. I can’t help myself and grasp her head steady in my palms and kiss her passionately, demanding. Forcing her lips apart, invading her mouth with my tongue. Her shy tongue finally meets and matches mine in their dance. I moan with passion. Squeeze her tight. My hand travels down to the small of her back pushing her close to my body willing her to merge with me, and explore her exquisite derriere squeezing it which she gives a surprised sound of liking. My erection is full, and it’s trying to push its way out of my jeans.

I lean over to kiss her again, she groans into my mouth, grasping my upper arms tight. Although touching is a hard limit for me I barely have time to think. Her hands move to my hair tugging me and surprisingly captivating, moving them to my face exploring the hills and the valleys of my face. The wait is just killing me and I make my decision to move forward. I push her towards the bed. She stands against the bed, I gaze at her beautiful body, move my fingers about her torso, her sides, and just drop on my knees grabbing her hips steadying her and move my tongue and lips on her navel at which time she gives a very audible moan. My lips move up and down and sideways travelling expertly nibbling, making her squirm.

Her hands move into my hair and thugs hard which is unbelievably erotic for her to respond to me that way. My gaze won’t leave her and we lock eyes though she time to time closes her eyes rolling her head back with an overflow of pleasure which fuels me even further. Her breathing matches mine in speed, our eyes scorching embers. I lean down and take one of her foot and start undoing her lace, and take the shoe off. I repeat the process with the next foot. I then slowly remove her socks off, eyes still locked. My hands leisurely travel up her jeans making strategic stops to rub on her thighs. I reach up to her zipper, and after undoing the top button, I zip her pants down. My hands skim inside her pants, and I expertly and slowly pull them down. Her breathing accelerates, eyes blue fires. I remove the jeans, and move my hands over her now bare legs.

My hands grasp her hips and I find my face buried in her apex inhaling scent to her very surprised and aroused face. I can’t help myself but tell her how good she smells. Her arousal is an intoxicating scent. She nearly convulses with my touch. I push her back onto the mattress. I grab her foot forcing her to watch me and run my thumbnail on her instep knowing its effects on her body. I give her a salacious smile without breaking my gaze from her intense stare, and run my tongue along her instep and taking her big toe into my mouth and sucking hard. I see her eyes rolled back into her head with a loud groan. I can make her come like this. The response makes me chuckle. She’s so ready for me.

My hands slowly move up her glorious legs. She’s only in her panties and bra. A beautiful specimen of woman. Innocent and shy before me.

Words escape me. “Anastasia, you’re gorgeous. I just can’t wait to be inside you,” I whisper. She is completely under my influence, and I am of hers. I ask her to show me how she pleasures herself. To my surprise she says she’s never done it. Oh, the possibilities. I guess we have to correct that problem. I undo my jean’s button and zip my jean down. I grab her ankles and quickly spread her legs apart crawling onto the bed between her glorious legs hovering over her. I hold her legs to warn her to keep still and breathe, “Steady Ana,” and gaze at her with passion. I start trailing kissing inside her thighs reaching up to her panties. She squirms under me.

“Oh, baby we have to teach you to be still,” I say, between my trailing kisses up her belly, her torso and up to her breast. She’s burning with desire for me clawing the sheets as I pull one of the lacy bra cups down. Her breast springs up, peaking its head under my gaze and I cup her breast inside my palm. I pull the other bra cup down as her other breast peaks itself up into a gorgeous fleshy mound. My hands knead over her breasts as we’re both lost in ecstasy, her nipples harden under my fingers. I lean my head over and glaze my tongue over one of her breasts then blow lightly over it. Her nipple responds hardening as my thumb grazes and pulls the other nipple. The thought of her never having an orgasm gives me an idea. All of a sudden I want to make her come like this, under my control, my gaze, and have her experience her first under my fingers. “I want to make you come like this,” I whisper to her. She’s breathless, and wordless. Her reaction is enough to undo me. My fingers and tongue work expertly over her nipples, sucking and kneading, and rolling over.

She’s arching her back in pleasure, and begs “Please, Christian..” moaning.

“Come on, baby, come for me! Let go!” I murmur as I close my teeth around her nipple and suck hard, as my thumb and forefinger grab the other nipple and knead and roll, and she shutters under my fingers and tongue as her orgasm ripples through her body arousing me so much I move to her lips and kiss her hard and deep, her moans lost in my mouth. My hands travel to her sides and torso, and through her breasts. She’s very responsive to my touch which pleases me but we need to work on controlling that, and I now know that I’m going to have a lot of fun teaching her that.

My hand travels down and around her lacy panties. My fingers rip through the delicate lace shredding it in one swift move. My index and middle finger find their way into her and the palm of my hand cover her clitoris pleasuring her. She is so wet and ready I just can't wait to be inside her finally. I pull the ripped panties off of her waist, pull my jeans and boxers off springing my erection in full. The sight of it makes her eyes widen.

My fingers move inside her feeling her wetness making me want to get inside her. “You’re incredibly wet Ana! Oh God! I want to be inside you right now!” Her eyes are desirous and scared with the size of my erection. I soothe her telling she expands inside as well. But I want her to want me, want to do this, and be sure of it. I still want her permission. I want her, I want her to want me. This is where she will cross the line. To my side. I want her so badly, it hurts! ( ET by Kathy Perry ft Kanye West)

“Are you sure Ana? Do you want to do this?”

“Yes Christian. Please! Don’t make me beg...” she says causing my undoing.

I pull her leg up for easy access and most feeling. I rip a condom package, squeezing the tip, roll it onto my length. My gaze is burning into hers, “I’m going to fuck you hard now baby...” I say as I slam my length into her. She screams an involuntary “ah!” a pain pleasure. My erection rips through her virginity, and this is a first for me. All of a sudden I’m filled with a foreign feeling of complete and absolute proprietorship and I can’t, I won’t let go of her. She’s all mine, and no one else’s. My claim, my scent, my manhood is on her, claiming her, loving her, making love to her, fucking her.

I slow down, and wait for her to adjust to the foreign feeling of having me inside her. I roll my hip once and slowly pull back and after locking gazes with her she nods, ready to receive me again. I slam into her once more, hard. She groans slowly expanding. I slow again, and look at her once more for approval. She’s desirous and ready and wanting for more. I want her verbal confirmation. I ask, “Again?”

“Please, yes!” she begs, and I pull back, gyrate my hips once more and slam and slam and slam into her repeatedly completely claiming her to be mine. All the way. In every way. All. Mine. We create our own rhythm and she learns to match mine her hips lifting up to match my thrusts. I lose myself in her, lowering myself to her face, grasp her face, my mouth invade hers kissing, taking no prisoners. I want her every way! Relentlessly. Our bodies fit perfectly, receiving and giving, and worshipping in desire and sex, covered in sheens of sweat and heat. Pleasure and tension building a new height. I am getting close and she is stiffening with building up tension of pleasure. “Come for me baby!” I growl, and with that we both come loudly.

“I... fucking.... want... you! Oh Ana!” I yell, her name litany on my lips as I collapse on her worshipping her body. As the currents of pleasure still jolting through our bodies my breathing is still rugged and fast as is hers. I kiss her again once more as I pull out of her. She winces. I ask her if I hurt her. She’s blushing. Biting her lip.

“Answer me Ana,” I coax her. Running my finger on the lip she’s now biting, reminding her.

“I’ve, never... ever... felt this good, this ecstatic before...” she murmurs shyly. I grin. “Would you do it again?” I ask wanton.

“Most definitely...” she answers.

“Really?” I am pleased, “what a demanding little girl you are Ana,” I tease her. I turn her over and unhook her bra off. Run my fingers through her flawless skin. She notices my shirt still being on my back.

“Why do you still have your shirt on?” she quizzes. I don’t want to be touched, but I don’t want to bring that fucked up side of me on her. I pull my shirt off remaining on her back side. I whisper to her ear with desire. “So Miss Steele, Would you like me to fuck you again?” My fingers trail on her side and breasts, cupping her sex while my lips land trail of kisses on her ears and neck.

I’m not even nearly done with her. I hold her in place, and whisper her that I’m going to fuck her from behind. I hold her leg up and ease into her in a smooth move, and pinning her between my hand and my body start moving, and claiming her once again. “You. Are.. Mine...” I pound into her. With each stroke I stake my claim, make her mine, and mark her with my scent, my body and my sex.

I move my finger over her clitoris while my sex is working its magic inside her. “Do you like this?” I ask her softly. My thumb and fingers in and out of her, she only moans in response. Once I withdraw my finger out of her, I make her open her mouth, and give her a taste of her own sex. She sucks my finger. Forcefully. And desires builds in to fuck her in the mouth. I tell her that in between my thrusts. She’s spent, and wanting, and desirous, and I make this slow. I bury myself in and out of her slowly, deliberately, teasing, driving her crazy, leaving her wanting more. She feels so good! She’s ready to come, but I don’t want her to just yet. I need more. I haven’t had my fill of her.

“Slow baby..” I whisper, “Not yet...”

“Please Christian!” she begs.

“No baby! I want you sore. So sore, you will remember I was inside you each time you walk!” I say.

“Oh please. I’m coming apart in the seams!” she begs.

“What do you want baby! Tell me Ana!” as I move inside her.

“I want you!” she groans.

That’s my undoing. I increase my speed, circling my hips I slam into her faster and faster and faster until we both come loudly. “You! Are! Mine!” I growl as I reach my peak, and with my words, she quivers with pleasure, and we stay connected with aftershocks pulsing through us.

“Fuck Ana!” I say completed sated with pleasure. My first vanilla, and it was better than anything I had thought or hoped for. She’s my undoing, captivating, and this innocent girl who is falling asleep in my arms spent with my sex, and my conquest of her body and soul. She’s spent. She’s crossed sides, and I feel possessive of her now. I watch her peacefully sleeping tired face in sleep. Some unknown emotions creep up their way onto the surface. She’s mine! In every way. I can’t let go of her now. Her hands seek me in her sleep. I capture them and hold them in mine.

I don’t know how long I watch her sleep, but sadness finally creeps up in my chest. She’s too innocent. Is she ready for my world? I had a mix of emotions I’m feeling for her right this moment. Do I want to taint her with my dark soul? I don’t know where this mix of emotions are coming from. I’ve never felt this way towards anyone. Ever. I slowly place her arms on the bed and slowly slide out of the bed. Pull the duvet covers over her, finally pull my pajama bottoms up, and slowly and silently walk into the great room.

I sit at the piano, and absently start playing a piece from Bach reflecting my forlorn mood. (Transcription by Bach). I play the song repeatedly as my mood won’t yield to happy thoughts. I feel her by the door standing before I even look at her. When I stop, she says “I’m sorry Christian... I,” she pauses, “I didn’t mean to disturb you,” quietly.

“I should be the one who is apologizing,” I say, “I woke you up. You should be in bed,” I say to her chiding. She asks me what I was playing, and I tell her it’s a piece from Bach. She wants to know how long have I been playing. I tell her since I was six.

I turn her and ask, “How do you feel?”

“I’m alright,” she answers.

“Come,” I take her hand, and walk her back to the bedroom. I pull the duvet cover back up, and see the blood, the proof of her lost virginity as a bare statement on my white sheets. She blushes, and lowers her gaze. I smile, that’ll give something to think about to my housekeeper Mrs. Jones tomorrow. I show her into the bed, and lie next to her. Once again I find myself happily breaking my rules for her.

I spoon her in bed, and sweetly whisper into her ear, “Sleep, baby, sleep,” (Lullaby by Dixie Chix) as we both close our eyes, and fall into a deep, peaceful sleep first time in a very very very long time.



Anonymous said...

Love it!! I look forward to more chapters. You really have a knack for this. :)

Eminé Fougner @ Cowboyland said...

Thank you! I'll post some new chapters next week. I'm still working on writing them :)


Anonymous said...

Keep writing. Can't get enough! You are very talented. Please post soon

Anonymous said...

I love it, don't stop! I just finished the series and was so sad when the bonus material leaves you hanging on Fifty's point of view. I'm so glad I found your blog. Only thing I was wondering, is why you've changed some of their dialogue instead of keeping it verbatim to the original? I'm glad you've still kept it close, but I was just wondering especially because the words are still so fresh for me. Great job either way!

Natalee said...

Thanks so much for answering my question. Great idea on voicing Ana's thoughts! I love it, again please don't stop writing.


Anonymous said...

Fabulous!! I'm sitting here reading all the blog posts through today (May 1) and this one is the best so far. You definitely are good at this--this scene is just as good as the original. Thank you!!

Kathy said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you.... I was left hanging after the trilogy. I love your work ... Don't stop.....

Eminé Fougner @ Cowboyland said...

Thank you Kathy! I intend to keep going. I love the characters, and now that I got to know them even better, I'd have a hard time if I stopped.

Anonymous said...

just found this page after finishing the books and gotta say im loving it! looking forward to reading the rest!! :) linda

Eminé said...

Welcome Linda! I think I've done so much better after Ch 7. I feel that it was my "I got the keys to Christian's head" point.

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Jerri said...

I am glad I have found your blog. I can't seem to get enough of Christian and Ana. I love your POV of Christian. This is great.

GediGyrl said...

You are getting better and better with each chapter! I love it! I feel like its a whole new book, even though I know what's coming! I'm hooked!!

Unknown said...

I so glad to have found your blog and look forward to reading these in the order written. These are great reads!