Friday, September 28, 2012

BOOK II - CHAPTER XXIV - Christian and Anastasia FanFiction

Come; let us take our fill of love until the morning: let us delight ourselves with caresses.
(Proverbs 7:18)


 (This cover is made by a fan - Helene Cuji - thank you Helene!)
I should add--FanFiction to the title 
(Celine Dion)

The first time ever I saw your face
I thought the sun rose in your eyes
And the moon and stars were the gifts you gave
To the dark and the empty skies, my love,
To the dark and the empty skies.

The first time ever I kissed your mouth
And felt your heart beat close to mine
Like the trembling heart of a captive bird
That was there at my command, my love
That was there at my command.

And the first time ever I lay with you
I felt your heart so close to mine
And I knew our joy would fill the earth
And last till the end of time my love
It would last till the end of time my love

The first time ever I saw your face, your face,
your face, your face


I’m transported back in time, when Anastasia first stumbled into my office, headlong. The first time I touched her when I went to help her up, that first jolt of electricity that coursed through our bodies that forged our initial permanent bond... I was addicted to her the instant I laid eyes on her.  In the past, I always tried to feel... feel something...anything... I tried to fill a black hole with a ferocious hunger within my soul desperately without success. I tried to find my reckoning. I tried to recognize and failed to see that I was worthy of something. In order to feel... to feel I existed, that I mattered in any real sense, I tried everything extreme without being fully satisfied. I am driven and will always be that way. I am a fucking control freak, and I don’t think it will ever change. I am still fifty shades of fucked up. I am still worthless, fucking husk of a man with a pretty face. But, I don’t feel empty anymore. “Making love,” has never even been a concept for me. It would never, ever fill any void inside my soul. Not in a million years! Yet, here comes Anastasia, and I find myself craving for her love desperately, inexorably, relentlessly, unquestionably, like the air I breathe, as if I wouldn’t survive without it. 

I don’t know exactly when that first occurred, but somehow when I saw her for the first time, she turned out the lights to the rest of the world, and I realized that everything else vanished when she came into my life. I believe it is called “Colpo di fulmine,” in Italian, and Turks call it “Yıldırım aşkı”: love that strikes like the thunderbolt, unexpectedly at the first sight. It struck me hard, and intense. It’s her power that fed off and extinguished the black hole in me, or perhaps provided an equal power to keep it in check, turning it inside out, changing my life irrevocably. I’m a man in love, and making love to her fulfills a need in me I didn’t know existed. 

The thought resonates in my head as I slowly savor her as she is riding astride me. I want to keep making love to her, and remain with her like this. Anastasia’s muscles clench around my cock, and her arms clench around me, I find myself arching my back, and shouting out “Anastasia!” Her name is like a litany upon my lips. She collapses on my chest and I hold her tightly where she belongs, close to my heart, my cock still inside her. As Anastasia’s head rests on my chest, I feel her arms tighten around me as if I’d fly away, and warm tears flow through her cheeks onto my bare chest. She’s silently crying! Why? Did I hurt her?

I capture her head in my hands, I roll her down onto the bed, effectively getting her under me without breaking our connection, and look down at her. “Baby? Hey... Why are you crying?” I ask worried.

“Because I love you so much,” she answers in a whisper. By what Grace did I deserve this woman? Her words are intoxicating, overwhelming. Dante called Beatrice “La gloriosa donna della mia mente”, ‘the glorious lady of my mind,’ who sent the poet Virgil to save Dante all through the nine circles of hell in Dante’s Inferno. How apt... Anastasia saved me from my own personal torment that plagued me at night in sleep, and in waking hours it created a bottomless vacuum. I’m still fucked up, but with her, I feel...complete. I close my eyes to savor her words, letting them touch and ripple through my heart in waves, spreading all over, warming me.  

“And I love you, Ana. You make me...whole,” I say kissing her gently.

However I reluctantly, I pull out of her, and feel vacuous immediately. I want her close to me. We sit up in bed, and I pull her on my lap, our legs are curled up and tangled in each other’s. I drape the red satin sheet around us, enveloping. 

“Did you know that I was nervous to ask you out to coffee after the photo shoot?” I blurt out.

“What? Christian Grey, nervous?”

“I think I was always afraid of losing you without getting a chance declare my hand.”

“I couldn’t tell then, because you rejected me. I barely managed to make it to the car. In fact as soon as I got into the parking garage the flood gates were already open,” she says swallowing, her voice going low. I hold her tighter. 

“I’m sorry, baby. I was...” I say pausing, looking for the right word, “...struggling with these foreign feelings, resisting against them. And you were so innocent, and good. Here I am this fucked up man. I tried hard not to taint your world,” I say in a low voice.
“Well, Mr. Grey, I’m glad you didn't succeed in staying away from me. Think of the bright side, it could have been Kate who came to interview you, and she could be sitting...” she says, and her face falls not able to bring the rest of that sentence. 

“I thank Divine providence every day for sending you!” I say fervently reassuring her. “And besides, she’s not my type,” I say smugly.

She lifts her head up, her gaze narrows, “what, not a brunette?” she asks in a dry tone. 

“Ever since I met you Anastasia, I only have one type, and that’s you,” I say resolutely. “And, besides, she is a control freak.” 

“It must be hard to endure control freaks Mr. Grey,” she says sighing. “I wouldn’t know what to do,” she adds sarcastically. 

“Sure you would, baby. You lived with her for four years,” I say teasing.

“True. But, I’m still surprised that you took orders from her,” she says smiling. “Mr. Grey, I think we have enough pictures of you sitting down. Would you mind standing up right there, now?” she impersonates her roommate Kate perfectly, making me laugh out loud.

“For you, anything baby,” I say.

“Who? Me or Kate?” she scolds me with a sharp reprimanding gaze.

“Baby, do you think I would have endured half an hour under the spotlights for a college paper, or any paper for that matter? I made it possible to see you again,” I say fervently, as my eyes darkening. She melts into my arms. 

“I shudder to think that it could have been her who came to interview me. Thank the Lord for the common cold,” I say kissing her nose. 

“I believe she had the flu, Christian,” she corrects me as her fingers are trailing through my chest hair lazily. Her eyes skate over my body, and she glances over the wall, her eyes widen in reaction to something she just notices.

“All the canes have gone,” she says in a murmur. I don’t want to talk about the circumstances of how I made them disappear. The pain of it still hurts; Anastasia being gone. I knew she would never, ever accept them.
“I didn’t think you would ever past that hard limit,” I say.

“No, I don’t think I will,” she whispers, but her eyes dart over to the whips and paddles, and floggers on the opposite wall. 

I know that look. It’s the look of dislike, agitation. 

“You want me to get rid of them, too?” I ask amused, knowing her afflictions. 

“Not the crop... you know the brown one. Or that suede flogger,” she says flushing. I love the way she blushes when she’s talking to me, and surprising me at every turn.

“Okay, the crop and the flogger. Why, Miss Steele, you’re full of surprises.” 

“As are you, Mr. Grey. It’s one of the things I love about you,” she says and kisses the corner of mouth. One of them? There’s more? I’m burning to ask her about it. 

“What else do you love about me?” I ask her, feeling undeserving, wanting to know nevertheless, and burning with curiosity. I’m a selfish man, and I want to know. I look at her with wide eyes. My question takes her by surprise, and she blinks up at me. 

“This,” she says stroking her index finger over my lips sensually. I close my eyes, reveling in her touch. “I love this, and what comes out of it, and what you do to me with it,” she says. Her words touch the core of my heart as if the jolting electricity is coursing through my body. “And what’s in here,” she whispers caressing my temple. “You are extremely smart, and witty, and knowledgeable; you are competent in so many things.” Her gaze holds her awe of me, and I look back at her in a worshiping gaze. 

“But most of all, I love what’s in here,” she says in a soft voice pressing her palm gently against my chest. My heart lurches further, reaching for her touch. “You are the most compassionate man I have met. What you do. How you work. Its awe inspiring,” she says in a whisper.

“Awe inspiring?” I ask. I’m glad to know I have this effect on my girl. I didn’t know I inspired her that way. She finds me inspiring... Me! I feel shy all of a sudden. To make her feel that’s... it’s something. Anastasia just launches herself at me, and effectively finishing the conversation pushing me back on top of the bed. 


Both Anastasia and I must have felt exhausted after the horrible events of yesterday, last night’s and this morning’s love making, and we soon fell asleep in each other’s arms. When I wake up, Anastasia and I are all tangled up, legs, arms, bodies and satin sheets. She’s safe, I’m safe, and we are in each other’s embrace. I close my eyes and thank God for giving us this... heart and body and soul all intact, all in the now. If I lost control for even one minute, neither Ros, nor I would have been here. I dip my head into her hair inhaling deeply. My nose skims over her face. I close my eyes and nuzzle her neck, trailing soft kisses. She slowly opens her eyes, and gives me her shy smile. 

“Hungry?” I whisper.

“Hmm... I’m famished.”

“Me, too,” I reply. 

She leans on her elbow to gaze down at me as I’m sprawled on the bed. 

“It’s your birthday, Mr. Grey. I’ll cook you something. What would you like?”

“Surprise me,” I say as I reverently stroke her back. “I should check my Blackberry for all the messages I missed yesterday,” I say sitting up. Back to reality, but I’m thankful that the biggest part of my reality includes Anastasia. Well, the other realities can wait. Right now, I want to wash all of her body, and let her wash me.

“Let’s shower,” I say proffering my hand to Anastasia. She takes it smiling. 


When I get into the great room, Taylor is waiting for me. 

“Good morning, sir.”

“Morning, Taylor,” I say with a smile, and he reciprocates with an even rarer smile of his. 

Taylor closes the door behind him. I look up at him and he nods. “I’ve been in touch with Welch since yesterday. We’ve located Charlie Tango and a recovery team has been dispatched.”

“Good,” I nod solemnly. 

“Welch is also putting together an investigation team.”

“Great! I want you to get me in touch with Alex Pella,” I say, and Taylor’s eyes sparkle.

“I don’t know if he’s in the country but I’ll call around.”

“There’s no one who can sniff out foul play, like he can. And he knows anything that flies better than anyone else.”

Taylor’s eyes darken. “You’re certain it was foul play, sir?”

“Yes, without a doubt. Both engines going down at the same time, and the majority of the electronics, Taylor. Charlie Tango is a new helicopter. Even Queen Elizabeth doesn’t get the kind of service Charlie Tango receives. She’s serviced and checked all the time.” He nods, concern lacing his eyes. 

“Then, with your permission sir, I’d like to recommend increased security until this threat is over. If there’s an attempt on your life sir, we might have to take added precautionary measures. For Miss Steele and your family as well. Whoever is behind this may look for other ways to hurt you.”

“Get to it then Taylor. Coordinate with Welch, and I want names for the added security on my desk. Sooner, rather than later. Immediately for my family if you can get it lined up. I have a few phone calls to make.”

“I’m on it sir!” he says, and takes his exit.

I fire up my computer and start listening to my Blackberry for messages. 

There’s a message from Anastasia. She sounds nervous.

“Hi...” she says pausing. “’s me. Ana. Are you okay? Call me,” she says stuttering, nervous, worried even. My heart falls in love with her anew. I save her message. This is the first message she ever left me.

“Hi Christian. This is Elena. I heard it on the news that you are missing. Call me.” Beep... Delete.

“Christian. Elena again. I’m so glad you’re back. The news footage shows you entering Escala a bit disheveled. I’m concerned about you. Call me...” Beep... Delete.

“Christian Grey! I don’t know if you’ve gotten my other messages. If you did, why aren’t you returning my calls? You know, I’m concerned...” I don’t listen to the end of Elena’s message. Delete.

“Mr. Grey, thank you for your crazy piloting skills. Gwen wants to say thank you,” and there is a pause as the phone changes hands. Then Gwen’s soft voice comes through the voice mail. “Mr. Grey, I don’t know how to thank you for bringing Ros, alive and well and in one piece. Thank you so much!” she says nearly choking on her words. Once the message is over I smile, feeling just a miniscule degree better. I delete the message.

“Mr. Grey, Welch is here. Taylor informed me of the helicopter crash. We’ve located Charlie Tango, and a team is on its way to recover it. It is going to be taken to Boeing Field tonight. I’ve put through an emergency request for specialists from Eurocopter to investigate. And I will also go and oversee the investigation. We’ll check for fingerprints and any other evidence for foul play. My hunches tell me that there’s something amiss. But I’d like to back it up with physical evidence. I’ll wait for your call, sir.” I make a mental note to call him as soon as I skim through my e-mails. 

I check the e-mails, and the first one is from Anastasia.
From: Anastasia Steele
Subject: Hello
Date: June 17, 2011 16:04
To: Christian Grey

Are you not talking to me?
Don’t forget I’m going for a drink with Jose, and he’ll be staying with us tonight.  Please rethink about joining us.
A x
We were trying to walk towards the highway at the time of her. I was trying to get back home to her desperately. I shudder with the thought of what might have happened. I move onto the next message.
From: Elena Lincoln
Subject: Concerned
Date: June 18, 2011 02:05
To: Christian Grey

I know you were found. I’ve left you voice messages. I just want to know you’re ok. Call me.
Another one from this morning.
From: Elena Lincoln
Subject: Avoiding?
Date: June 18, 2011 09:12
To: Christian Grey

Christian, I really am concerned about you. Are you trying to avoid me?
You know I care about you dear. Please call me.
Anastasia doesn’t like Elena, and I’ve no intention of calling her. She knows I’m well, and that’s all she needs to know. 

I need to call Welch first. I hit the speed dial on my Blackberry. 

“Mr. Grey?” he answers on the first ring.

“Welch. Has the team reached Charlie Tango yet?”

“Not quite sir. It’s a bit off road as you already know. We don’t want to disturb any physical evidence. So, additional care must be taken in the recovery efforts, sir. We have off road vehicles, and a wide trailer to properly fit Charlie Tango on its way. It’ll be taken on a large truck once we get it on the paved road.”

“Good. Have you talked to Taylor about additional security?”

“Yes, sir. That’s the next topic I’d like to discuss with you. As your head security adviser, I’d like to emphasize the importance of additional security of your immediate family and Miss Steele. I’m in the process of compiling some names. I’ll share the info with Taylor as soon as I’m done.”

“Okay. Coordinate it with Taylor. He’ll take over that on this end. As for the investigation, and specialists, find me Alex Pella.”

“Taylor already texted me sir. I’ve dispatched some of my men to locate him. Meanwhile, we’ll still get the experts.”

“Good man. Let me know any developments at all levels.” 

“Will do, sir. Anything else?”

“Nothing for now,” I say and hang up. 

Next in the agenda is to call Andrea. She answers on the second ring.

“Andrea speaking,” she answers. 

“Andrea, I need you to do couple of things for me today.”

“Of course sir. And, may I say, I’m very pleased to know that you came back safe and sound. What would you like me to do?”

“Thank you Andrea. The banks are working half day today; so before it’s late, I want you to complete two transactions for me immediately.”

“Let me write this down sir,” she says, and I hear shuffling around. 

“Continue please, sir.”

“I want you to transfer $50,000 to Anastasia Steele’s checking account.”

“Confirming: Fifty-thousand Dollars to be deposited into Miss Anastasia Steele’s checking account.”

“That’s correct. Next, and, this request is in two parts. First part is, I want $250,000 payment to be issued for Len and Evelyn Mattson, of Mitchell, South Dakota. I’ll have Welch get back to you with the contact information. I realize this is a larger sum, so, if can’t be done today, do it Monday.” 

“Is the last name spelled as M-A-T-T-S-O-N sir?”

“Yes, it is. The second part of this request is this. I want a name enrolled in our company medical insurance, and a referral provided to the top neurologist in Seattle. Find out who that doctor is by Monday. I want a Trevor Mattson age 15 to be insured, and referred to this neurologist. Let the Doctor bill our insurance, and what is not covered needs to be paid by GEH.”

Andrea coughs on the other side discreetly.

“Is, uhm? It is out of convention... or our company policy says... uhm the insurance is to be provided for employees, and their dependents and he’s neither.”

“Andrea!” I hiss in a low, menacing tone. 

“Yes, of course, sir, I will talk with the HR, and get this going first thing in the morning. Anything else, sir?”

“Yes. I’m writing a note, and I want this note to be delivered along with the insurance information as well as the money within this week, with a courier. Collect the envelope containing the note from me on Monday.
“Yes, sir,” she replies in her professional voice. 

“That’s all. Thank you again for this and working last night,” I say taking her by surprise. She clears her throat. She must be expecting me to yell, or scold, or bark another order, but I say nothing. She waits silent for about fifteen seconds, and finds her voice. 

“My pleasure, sir,” she says meekly. Andrea, meek? That’s new. I hang up shaking my head.

I write the note before I forget it:

Dear Len,

I want to thank you for showing immense kindness to two strangers you found on the side of the highway, sharing your food, your wisdom, and taking us home to our families without a second thought, and  without expecting anything in return. Men like you are rare in the world. The hospitality you’ve shown us may not be a lot for the kind people of Mitchell, South Dakota, but it gave me hope in humanity. I wanted give you a token of our appreciation. Pay off your rig with this money, put aside some, and take your wife Evelyn and your son Trevor to a vacation some place. Trevor will be provided with medical insurance and the remainder of his medical expenses will be paid by my company and he’s being referred to a neurologist until he’s recovered. 

You are a damn good man, a good husband and a good father. Don’t give up hope in Trevor’s health; I’m quite sure it can be resolved. Hope is a good thing. One of the best things in life. Keep doing what you have been doing; just pass it forward. It was an honor to know you.

Christian Grey

I sign my name, and put the note in the envelope to be sent along with the money. 

Then I stare at my Blackberry on the table and run my hand through my hair, blow out a lungful of air, and take a deep breath in. I dial my mother. 

“Christian?” she answers.

“Hi mom,” I say in an even tone.

“Good morning son. How are you?” she says with concern in her voice.

“I’m fine mom.”

“Are you really? I was so worried yesterday, and we were all... and your poor girlfriend... She was so distraught. We all were...” she says choking on her words.

“I know mom. I’m sorry you went through this,” I say still in awe of her distress and concern over me. 

“You’re still coming over for your birthday party. You’re not bailing out on us, are you?”

“I wouldn’t dream of it mom. That’s why I’m calling you. I want to give you some good news for a change, and I need to ask a favor of you.”

“Oh,” she says pleasantly surprised. “Okay, whatever you need darling.”

“About a week ago I proposed to Anastasia, and she didn’t give me an answer then...” I say and I hear my mother make a sound I have never heard her make before.

“Mom? Are you okay?”

“Okay? Honey, I’m ecstatic! What did she say?” 

“Well, her answer was neatly packaged as a birthday present, and I thought all along she was reluctant to answer.”

“Oh, Christian! You always think the worst of everything. And, did she say yes?” she asks hopeful. My grin is so wide, my face hurts.

“Yes! She did!” I say excitedly.

I hear a joyful scream on the other end of the phone. 

“I’m sorry dear! I didn’t mean to scream into your ear, but I’m so happy for you both. Ana is such a sweet girl. We love her so! Did you set a date yet?”

“No mom, she barely said yes. But, I didn’t do a very proper job in proposing her. It wasn’t as romantic. But I want to rectify the situation. I was wondering if I could use your boathouse. I want to set up a romantic environment to properly propose to her and give her the ring.”

“Darling! Nothing would make me happier. Do you want me to have the flowers delivered?”

“No, thank you mom. I’ll take care of that. But, not a word to anyone, please. We want to announce it tonight at my party.”

“Do you have the ring?”

“As a matter of fact, I bought it after I proposed to her, and I was wondering if you could put it among flowers I’m going to have delivered. I’ll give it to you after we arrive.”

“Nothing would make me happier! Can’t I just tell your father?”

“Well, yes, you can, but make sure no one else knows. I don’t want Anastasia get a whiff of this under any circumstances.”

“I promise. And you know your father. He can keep a secret like Fort Knox keeps gold!” 

“Thanks mom. There’s something else,” I say my tone changing of a cold one. She notices the shift.

“What’s the matter darling?”

“My security adviser strongly recommends increased security for all of us until my helicopter incident completely resolved.”

Her answer is laced with concern. 

“Does he think it’s foul play? Oh Christian! Who would want to make an attempt on your life son?”

“Nothing to be concerned about mom. I’m sure he’s overreacting to cover his behind. But it’s always good to be cautious. They might be sent over today. I hope you understand; the security will have to be tailing you for the time being. It’s for our peace of mind.”

“When are they coming?”

“Very shortly, maybe even within the next hour, mom.”

“Oh, Christian, that soon? Oh, dear.  You know how Mia is. She hates security tagging along,” she replies sighing. “If you think that’s best,” she says in a contemplating tone. “I’ll talk to you father. But I think you should tell him the other thing. I think he heard most of our other conversation,” she says making a poor attempt to hide ‘the other thing’. “He’s waiting by the door. He must have wondered why I screamed,” she says in a happy tone.

“Sure mom. Thank you, for everything...” I say with much meaning. 

“I love you son. Happy Birthday baby!” she replies sniffling as her voice cracks and hands the phone to dad.  

“Hey son! Happy Birthday!”

“Thank you dad. Uhm, listen, I have some good news for you. But for the time being, it’s only for mom’s ears and yours.”

“Of course son,” he takes his serious attorney tone. 

“I have asked Anastasia to be my wife, and she consented. We are announcing our engagement tonight at my birthday party,” I say pausing.

“Congratulations, Christian! I’m so happy for you both! Have you set the big date?” I hold the phone before my face and look at it incredulous. 

“No, dad. I only learned last night that she accepted.”

“Oh, I’m sure there’s plenty of time. You’ve just met anyway.”

“I don’t want a long engagement. If it was up to me, I’d fly her to Vegas tomorrow to be married.”

“Don’t do that! We’d like to be a part our son’s wedding. When you have kids of your own, you’ll understand,” he says making me wince. Kids? Not so soon if I can help it. I want Anastasia to myself for a long time. Maybe ten years down the road, after I’ve shown her the world. 

“Of course not, dad. We’d like you to be a part of our happiness.”

“What will you do about the prenuptials? I have some very good solid colleagues who specialize in...” he says, but I sharply interrupt him.

“No! No prenups! No signed documents other than her name on the marriage certificate along with mine.”

“But, son! You, of all people should know this. It’s not good business for a man in your stature. Even ordinary people are getting it now,” he says imploring me. 

“You and mom don’t have one!” I rebuttal. 

“No we don’t. On the other hand your mother and I met when we were both students. We both had the same social standing. Anastasia is a great girl, but you are bringing so much more into the marriage than she ever could. All sorts of things could go wrong in a marriage. You have to protect your interests.”

“Dad, I love her, and she loves me! That’s all the reassurance I need from her. I want to marry her for life, not for a time. I trust her implicitly. So, absolutely no way in hell would I ask her to sign a prenup!”

“All I’m saying is just think about it. Just keep it in mind.”

“It’ll be a cold day in hell if I ever ask her that!” 

“What’s your lawyer saying about it?”

“Do you think I’ll discuss an intimate topic like marriage with my lawyer? I’m not taking my lawyer into my marriage bed! What kind of precedence does it set? So, please, drop it, dad!”

“But...” he says, and I hear my mother scolding him.

“Carry! Butt out of their business!”

“Grace! His future is at stake!” 

“I said butt out!”

“Fine, dear...” he says, and the subject is closed. But I have a feeling it’s closed just for now. 

My Blackberry vibrates in my hand alerting me to an incoming e-mail message as I’m half arguing with my father. I click on my laptop, and read the message while my father babbles on.
From: Anastasia Steele
Subject: lunch
Date: June 18, 2011 13:11
To: Christian Grey

Dear Mr. Grey,

I’m emailing you to inform you that your lunch is about to be ready. And that I had some mind blowing kinky fuckery earlier today.  Birthday kinky fuckery is to be recommended.
And another thing: I love you.  

A x
(Your fiancée)

Seeing her message puts a wide grin on my face, and tent on my crotch. Mind-blowing kinky fuckery, eh? I’d like to get her opinion on that.
From: Christian Grey
Subject: kinky fuckery
Date: June 18, 2011 13:14
To: Anastasia Steele

What aspect of it was mind-blowing baby? I’m taking notes.

Christian Grey

Famished and wasting away After the Morning’s Exertions CEO, Grey Enterprises Inc.
PS: I love your bracketed signature
PPS: What happened to the art of conversation?
From: Anastasia Steele
Subject: you’re famished?
Date: June 18, 2011 13:17
To: Christian Grey

Dear Mr. Grey,

I’d like to draw your attention to the first line of my previous email informing you that your lunch in in fact almost ready... so none of this famished and wasting away nonsense... And with regard to the mind blowing kinky fuckery aspects... well, frankly-all of it. I’d be interested in reading your notes.  And I like my bracketed signature, as well.
And another thing: I love you.  

A x
(Your fiancée)
PS: Since when have you been so loquacious? And you were on the phone.

“I’m only thinking of you son. Now, your mother is mad at me... But...”

“Uhm... Yea, great, dad. We’ll talk about that later! I gotta run!” I say, and hear his surprised goodbye before I hang up. 

I quickly make my way into the kitchen where delicious smells of fish and fresh vegetables are emerging. I find Anastasia busily working on fixing our lunch behind the kitchen island. I almost pounce at her behind the island taking her into my arms and kissing her, leaving her breathless and dazed. 

“That is all, Miss Steele. Carry on,” I say releasing her and sauntering back to my office in my bare feet. I love my woman in my kitchen. It is sexy as hell! 

As I make my way back into my office, I find the now familiar phone number on my Blackberry, and hit dial.

"Primary Colors, this is Janice, how may I help you?"
"Hi Janice, this is Christian Grey..." I say.

Few minutes later, I have it all squared away with Janice, and without taking half a breath, my Blackberry buzzes again, this time with an incoming call from Welch. 

“Mr. Grey. Welch here. The security has been sent to your parents’ house, and they’re already at the location.”

“Good,” I reply.

“Not so good sir. Miss Grey is not allowing them in. In fact, they’re outside waiting instructions.” I give out an exasperated sigh.

“Let them remain there. I will call and clear the situation.”

“Thank you sir,” he says, and I hang up.

I dial Mia’s cell phone number. She answers after the fifth ring. She knows why I’m calling.

“What Christian?” she barks as her greeting. 

“Mia, there is a new security detail waiting outside. You need to let them in.”

“Come on Christian! I don’t want to be followed by several Rambos!”

“Damn it Mia! There is a security threat which may be linked to my helicopter incident. I am only taking precautions.”

“But, how’s that related to us? To me? It’s mortifying!” My sister can be exasperating sometimes. Anastasia comes to the doorway of my office, and her gaze is appraising me. She misses nothing, from my just fucked hair, to my white shirt, to my jeans and my bare feet. I’m still on the phone with Mia and I want no arguments from her.  

“Just let them in and leave them alone. Do you understand Mia?” I ask in a hissing almost menacing tone as I roll my eyes. 

“Don’t get your britches in a twist Grey! Fine! I’ll let them in,” she agrees reluctantly.


Anastasia looks into my eyes and mimics eating, and I grin at her, nodding. Amidst all these problems, and a possible lunatic after me, why am I grinning like an idiot? 

“I’m only doing this, because it’s your birthday. Happy Birthday Christian! You better not be missing your birthday party,” she scolds me. “You’re coming right?”

“Yes, I’ll see you later.”

“Laters,” she says, and I hang up. 

Anastasia is waiting expectantly. “One more call?” I ask.


I look up at her, and the dress she’s wearing is barely under her thighs. I don’t want the help ogling my woman. 

“That dress is very short,” I remark.

“Do you like it?” she asks giving me a 360 twirl. I do like it, but for my eyes only! 

As she twirls I can see her thighs. She looks mouthwatering, totally fuckable. Fuck! If I can see that, anything with a dick can see that too. I frown. Her face falls with my displeasure.

“You look fantastic in it Ana. I just don’t want anyone else to see you like that,” I clarify. 

“Oh! We’re at home, Christian. There’s no one but the staff.”

I try to hide my smile. There are male members in my staff, and I don’t want them ogling her. The men in my staff exude more male hormones than a town full of men anywhere. But, I just want to pick my battles today. She’s at home. That ought to be alright. I finally nod reluctantly. I don’t want to fight with her before my last phone call. 

She smiles and walks back to the kitchen. 

I take a deep breath, and scroll through my Contact List on my Blackberry. My thumb hovers over the green “Call” button. I finally press it. The phone rings four times before it’s picked up.

“Hello?” answers a stern husky voice. 

“Hi, Ray!” I say a little too nervously. I adjust my tone in my next sentence, “This is Christian.” 

“Hi Christian,” he says pausing. I’ve never called him before. He sounds worried. “Is everything alright? Is Ana okay?”

“She’s perfectly fine Ray. She’s in the kitchen fixing lunch for us,” I say. He sounds surprised.

“That’s good to know. How have you been Christian?”

“I’ve been great Ray. I heard that you and Jose, and Jose Sr. are going to fishing.”

He chuckles. “Yes, we are. But we postponed it to early tomorrow.”

“We should also go to fishing one of these days. I’ve heard from Jose that you’ve caught a 43 pounder! And I thought I was a good fisherman with a thirty-four pounder steelhead.” 

He chuckles. 

“You’ll get there. It took me years of practice. But, I’m sure you didn’t call me on fishing advice. What can I help you with Christian?”

I take a deep breath.

“Ray, I’ve fallen in love with your daughter. I can’t live without her. I’ve asked her to marry me, and she accepted. I’ve called to ask your permission, ask for her hand in marriage from you,” I say in one breath.
There is silence at the other end of the phone. 

When he realizes I’m waiting for his answer, he clears his throat.

“You said, Ana accepted?”

“Yes, she did,” I say firmly. 

“Don’t you think it’s rather fast? Are you absolutely sure this is what you both want? I think you ought to give it some time. You’re both very young.”

“No sir. There’s no one else for me. There will never be anyone else for me. I’ve never been in love with anyone in my entire life. Ever. She’s the one I want for the rest of my life. We want your blessing,” I say in my all-business voice. 

“Is she pregnant?” What?

“No!” I say firmly. He exhales loudly. 

“Let me talk to Ana first, before I respond to your question, Christian.”

“I’ll get her for you,” I say and quickly walk out to the kitchen. 

I hold the phone in front of Anastasia, and murmur, “I have Ray for you.” I feel on edge. What if he says no? I remain guarded. I have to find a Plan B to convince him if this doesn’t work. Anastasia’s eyes widen immediately in horror. She reluctantly takes the phone from my hand and covers the mouthpiece. 

“You told him!” she hisses. I nod impassively. I feel nothing, but. 

“Hi dad,” she says as her eyes leaves mine. I can hear Ray speak.

“Christian has just asked me if he can marry you,” he states the obvious. 

“What did you say?” she asks in a small voice.

“I said I wanted to talk to you first. Don’t you think it’s kinda sudden Annie? You’ve not known him long enough. I mean, he’s a nice guy and all, and knows his fishing...but this is so soon.” Anastasia’s gaze darts at me, and sees my anxious look.

“Yes. It is sudden... Hang on a second,” she says and leaves the kitchen. She walks out into the balcony. I pace around the room. I feel so nervous. 

I stop and strain to hear what she’s saying. 

“He’s everything.” She stops to listen.

I can’t hear what else she says because she’s speaking so quietly. I walk closer to the balcony. 

“Thank you, Dad. I’ll hand you back to Christian. Be gentle with him. I love him,” she says. He’s accepting? Oh God, please!

She walks back into the room, and giving me the evil eye as she’s handing me the phone. I take the phone back from her amused at her expression. But, baby, nothing would stop me asking your hand in marriage. I never wanted anything so badly!

“Hello Ray,” I greet him again.

“Christian,” he says coolly. 

“Ana said that she loves you and she too wants to marry you. Young man, you’re all kinds of rich. I’m just an ex-soldier. But I only have one daughter. She’s it. I love her dearly. I’m personally holding you responsible for her happiness.”

“I will do everything in my power to make her happy, Ray. I love her.”

“I know. So, there’s nothing left for me, but to give my blessing. She asked me to give her away at the wedding,” he says finally his voice cracking. 

“We’d be honored, Ray.”

“You have my permission, and my blessing. Go and make my baby girl happy.”

“Thank you, Ray!” I say as if I have brokered the biggest mergers and acquisitions of my life!

I walk back into the kitchen and declare, “I have your stepfather’s rather begrudging blessing.” I’ve got this ear splitting grin on my face, and she giggles. 
“Come, sit, lunch is ready,” she leads me to the breakfast bar. 

I take a bite of the salmon she made, and it just melts in my mouth. Is it because I’m so happy everything tastes beyond wonderful, or is it that she just cooks perfectly or a combination of both. We eat in silence with the renewed sense of knowing nothing else is standing our way. We can get married, anytime! I’m consumed with happy thoughts of our future together, and can’t stop grinning at Anastasia. When I finally take the last bite on my plate, “Damn, you’re a good cook woman!” I declare. I raise my glass of white wine to Anastasia, and take a swallow. Anastasia blushes, and smiles in response.

When she blushes, I almost want to preserve that innocent image in a picture. Beautiful, alluring, and completely mine. Maybe I will take a picture of it someday. Oh, wait, she asked me not to take a picture of her. Why would she ask that? Did she find any pictures of the subs? But that’s impossible. They’re in the safe. How would Anastasia have access to the safe?

“Ana? Why did you ask me not to take a picture of you?” I ask in a soft voice. 

She stares down at her plate, and her fingers start twisting on her lap. She only does that when she has some bad news, or extremely nervous. What happened? What is bothering her? She is ominously silent. 

“Ana,” I snap nervously. “What is it?” I hate it when she hides something from me. I want to know everything about her.

“I found your pictures,” she says in a whisper.

Oh shit! It’s what I thought it was. “You’ve been in the safe?” I ask in an incredulous tone. 

“Safe? What safe? No. I didn’t even know you had a safe.”

I frown surprised. Where did she find them? “I don’t understand, then.” 

“They were in your closet. There is a box. I was looking for your tie, and the box was placed under your jeans... you know the ones you normally wear in the playroom. Except today,” she says blushing crimson. 

Fuck! I’m shocked and mad. Who could have put them there where Anastasia can find them? I run my hand through my hair exasperated. Not Mrs. Jones. Taylor? Of course not. Clearly not Hyde... Shit! The only one that could have done it is Leila! Gotta hand it to her! She wants Anastasia to know that there are others... many others who are like her. There is no other like Anastasia, but Leila wouldn’t know that. Leila, even in her disturbed state of mind has been crafty. Gotta admire that in a person. I look up Anastasia, and concern is written all over her face. Oh no!

I steeple my hands before me as if in a supplication, and give the full power of my gaze to Anastasia. 

“It’s not what you think baby. I’d completely forgotten all about them. That box has been moved. Those pictures belong in my safe,” I explain.

“Who moved them?” she asks in a whisper. 

Oh shit! I have to explain. “There is only one person who could have done it.”

“Really... Who then? And what exactly do you mean when you say, ‘it’s not what I think’?”

It’s like my past is colliding with my future like an unstoppable train wreck finding me at any happy or tender moment, ready to destroy my happiness if I let it. I sigh; this is embarrassing to explain to Anastasia. I cock my head to the side, and start.

“This is going to sound cold, but, those pictures are an insurance policy,” I explain in whisper low voice. 

“Insurance policy?” she asks confused. I can almost hear the crickets chirping in her head. Of course... Anastasia would never think of that. I’m the one who’s fucked up...

“Against exposure,” I clarify.

Her mouth gapes open. “Oh,” she manages to murmur swallowing. She closes her eyes, trying to process what I just revealed. Fuck! She’s disappointed in me, and hurt. “Yes. You’re right. That does sound cold,” she mutters, and gets up, takes the plates, and starts clearing the dishes not knowing what else to do. She doesn’t want to look at my face.

“Ana,” I call out to her concerned. 

“Do the girls know? The subs?” she asks turning to look at me with empty eyes.

“Of course they know,” I say frowning. 

She scrapes the plates forcefully as if they have dried up and burnt food on them. First plate clutters loudly into the sink as she drops it, and picks the other, and starts scarping again. Oh fuck! She thinks I kept them because I miss that lifestyle! Oh shit! Shit! Shit!

I reach out to her, and grab her, and pull her into my arms. 

“Those pictures are supposed to be in the safe. They’re not for recreational use.” I want to be truthful. They’re not recreational now; in fact I don’t even want to look at them. “Maybe they were when they were originally taken.” She turns her head away from me. I hold my hand to her chin to make her look at me, imploring her. “But, they don’t mean anything to me, baby. Nothing.” 

“Who put them in your closet?” she asks. 

“It could only have been Leila.”

“Did she know your safe combination?” asks Anastasia incredulous. 

I shrug. “I wouldn’t be surprised if she did. It’s a very long combination, and because I use it so rarely, I haven’t changed it. I have it written somewhere.” I sigh and shake my head. “I wonder what else she knows, and if she’s taken anything else out of the safe.” I try to run an inventory of the safe in my head, but I can’t recall everything. Anastasia says nothing. “Look Ana, I’ll destroy the pictures. Now, if you like.” I want her to feel secure with me. Have trust in me. 

She shrugs. “They’re your pictures, Christian. Do whatever you wish with them,” she mutters looking away.
“Ana, don’t be like that,” I plead. I take her head in my hands, and look into her eyes with the intensity of my love for her. “I don’t want that life. I want our life, together.” Her eyes are wide. Fearful even. I don’t want to fuck up my relationship with her because of my past. I have no feelings for any of those girls! She’s silent and worried. 

“Ana, baby, I thought we exorcised all those ghosts this morning. At least I feel that way. Don’t you?” I ask pleading. She blinks as if the wipe away her fears. 

A small smile comes to her lips. “Yes... Yes, I feel like that too.” She replies. 

“Good,” I say with relief in my voice. I lean down and kiss her, holding her in my arms as if she would fly away. “I’ll shred them,” I whisper. For her, I’ll do anything. “Then I have to go to work. I’m sorry baby, but I have tons of business to get through this afternoon,” I say apologetically. 

“That’s alright. I have to call my mother anyway,” she says grimacing. “Then I want to do some shopping and bake you a birthday cake.”

I blink. Anastasia is going to bake a cake for my birthday? I grin as wide as possible like a four year old.
“A cake?” I ask, and she nods in response.

“A chocolate cake?” I ask grinning. A man can have a choice. It’s my birthday after all.

“Do you want a chocolate cake?” she asks mirroring my grin. I nod in response. 

“Well then, I’ll see what I can do, Mr. Grey.”

That’s my woman! I kiss her again more passionately than ever. 
 (Set Fire to the Rain - Adele)
“Welch? Where are you?”

“I’m at the crash site sir. Making sure that pictures and videos are taken, and no evidence is disturbed, and proper precautions are taken to not to taint the evidence.”

“Good,” I say grimacing.

“You must have good piloting skills, Mr. Grey. You’ve made a small crater, but it could have been much worse. I have couple of experts here as well. They all agree.”

“What time will Charlie Tango be at Boeing?”

“I don’t have an ETA yet, sir. Right now, all I want them to do is to collect the evidence, and get her loaded properly.” 

“Text me when she’s on her way,” I say before hanging up. 

I sit before my computer monitor, and start going through piles of e-mails. There’s another one from Elena this afternoon. I delete it after skimming over it. Same thing: Call her. Fat chance!

I feel Anastasia’s gaze on me, and when I look up I see that she’s standing at the doorway. 

“I’m just heading out to the grocery store to pick up some ingredient for the cake.”

“Okay,” I say, and look at her dress. It’s way too short. I don’t want people seeing her like that. Noticing my frown, she asks, “What?”

“Aren’t you going to put some jeans or something?”

“Christian, they’re just legs,” she says exasperated.

I narrow my eyes at her. I don’t want my fiancée to be eye fucked in the store. She rolls her eyes at me, and her reaction makes my palms tingle.

“What if we were at the beach?”

“We’re NOT at the beach.”

“Well, would you object this dress if we were at the beach?” It’s covered enough for the beach, but where is she going with this line of questioning?


She rolls her eyes at me again, smirking.  “Alright then, just imagine we are. Laters!” she mutters quickly and bolts to the exit. I dart after her dropping my Blackberry to the floor. And by the time I reach the foyer, the elevator doors are already closing and she waves at me, grinning! Fuck! She’s deliberately being disobedient! What memories do you evoke Miss Steele when you behave as such? I don’t know whether to be amused, or frustrated with her. She evokes twin feelings in me like no one else. I want to love, and spank her at the same time! I might still do that when she gets back. I always worry that I’ll get carried away. Why does she disobey me? Why can’t she just do what she is told? I love her when she’s like this but then, she drives me to jealousy. I sigh as I get back to my work piled enough to load up Len’s truck. I have to get through most of them before we head to my parents’ house. 


I’ve been too focused on my work; I get startled with my Blackberry buzzing on my desk. 

“Grey,” I answer stiffly.

“Welch here. Sir, we have collected all the evidence related to the accident, taken pictures and, the entire recovery has been videotaped from different angles. Charlie Tango is loaded up, and is on her way to Boeing, sir.”

“Have you managed to get in touch with Pella?”

“Just as I suspected, he’s out of the country for the moment. But his company will get in touch with him soon. Since they’re the biggest authorized sellers of Eurocopter in the country and GEH purchased it from their Los Angeles branch, they’ve already contacted Eurocopter and a specialist is coming from Germany Monday afternoon.”

“Great. When do you think you can get some preliminary findings?”

“That would be hard to tell, sir. We need to identify all the evidence, and search everything, all the fingerprints, and foreign materials. We’ve taken great care to not to contaminate any of the evidence. Even then, it can take a while to sort through. We can have the preliminary findings within the week, sir.”

“Not good enough,” I say. “The Eurocopter specialist can determine whether I’ve had a mechanical problem, or foul play.” I hate it when things are out of my control. 

“I want to have the initial findings about the crash immediately.”

“But sir, we don’t want a poorly done investigation. At least give him two days.”

I think about this for a second. I will give him twenty four hours maximum. Others can gather evidence, and they can investigate until he arrives. That’s about thirty six hours of additional time in which they can accomplish quite a lot.

“You said the Eurocopter specialist is due Monday afternoon?” I ask trying to confirm.
“Yes, he’s getting on the first flight tomorrow sir.”

“Good. Just keep me informed. Tell them that I’ll need their initial findings either Monday evening, or Tuesday morning.” I hang up, and swivel my chair around and find Anastasia standing in the doorway. My heart stills, my gaze impassive. I want to see what she will say about the way she behaved earlier. 

“Hi,” she whispers. I keep staring at her impassively without a word. Her gaze locked with mine, she walks towards me around my desk with cautious steps. My eyes follow her, unblinking. She stands in front of me.
“I’m back, Christian. Are you mad at me?”

I love and I hate and I love this! She mind fucks me at every turn, drives me mad; drives me insane, makes me jealous enough to claw my own skin, makes me feel helpless! Yet, I feel alive with her. 

I sigh giving in to my exasperation, my hand reaches out for hers, and I pull her to me forcefully, making her land on my lap. My arms snake around her, and I hold her tight, burying my nose into her hair, inhaling her intoxicating scent. 

“Yes,” I respond to her question. I am still mad. 

“I’m sorry. I just don’t know what came over me, Christian,” she says apologetically, curling up on my lap like a kitten. She wraps her arms around my neck and inhales my scent. We are so in tuned with each other. Her remorse breaks some chains in me. I don’t want to confine her. On the other hand, I have to have control. I can’t live without it. And so much has happened outside my control, I don’t want to lose it at home. But, I have to pick my battles. This particular dress shouldn’t be one. 

“Me neither. Wear what you like,” I say in a murmur, surprising her. My hands run up her leg, and to her thigh. My erection goes into the full salute mode. “Besides, this dress has its own advantages,” I say, and lean in to kiss her lips. The second we connect, the jolt of electricity between us courses through her into my body lightning speed, and she makes such a moaning sound from deep within her as if it’s sighing and yearning, and deep seated fire all at the same time. Her hands zip up to my hair, knotting, and pulling me into her, as if she’s incapable of containing the passion and fire burning through her veins and she has to have an outlet. Setting me on fire with her passion! I make a deep guttural groan, responding in kind, and reciprocating her body's reaction. 

My teeth nip her lower lip, traveling to her jaw, to her ear, to her throat, going back to her mouth, my tongue dips into her mouth rather forcefully, assaulting her, as if I’m giving her a tonsil exam! Fucking her with my tongue in her mouth. My erection is trying to rip through my pants, and I can contain my desire pooling in my groin no longer! I unzip my pants, pull Anastasia astride, and sink my pulsing cock into her delicious, blooming sex. Anastasia grasps the back of my chair, and my fingers sink into her soft flesh of her buttocks, and I guide her moving up, and I synchronize our movements. As she descends down onto my cock, I push deeper and farther into her, making her arch her back and guiding her in gyrating her hips. 

Soon, both of our consuming passion builds up to its peak, and Anastasia and I both speed up our rhythm, and she nearly screams my name, tipping my scale and I pour everything I got into her, clenching to her body, my eyes roll back into my head. She collapses on top of me, and stills as her orgasm ripples through her body in waves and passes into mine. As our racing hearts slow down to normal speed, I kiss her gently this time.

“I like your version of apology,” I breathe into her hair, now smelling like Anastasia, outdoors, sweat, sex, and me.

“And I like yours,” she says giggling, and her head snuggles against my chest. “Have you finished?”

My God! What have I created here? An insatiable woman?

“Jesus, Ana, you want more?”

“No!” she says embarrassed. “I meant your work.” 

“Oh... I’ll be done in about half an hour,” I say, and my gaze softens. “I heard the voice-mail you left yesterday. You sounded worried,” I say softly. Her face falls, and she hugs me tighter. 

“I was so worried. It’s not like you to not to respond.” I close my eyes in awe of her love for me. I kiss the top of her head. I feel her smile. 

“Your cake should be ready in half an hour,” she says climbing off me lap and breaking our connection. For some reason, I feel bereft with the loss of it. But I manage a smile for her benefit. 

“Looking forward to it. It smelled delicious, redolent even while you were still baking it.” She looks down at me smiling shyly, and finally leans down and rewards me with a small kiss at the corner of my lips. 


My Blackberry buzzes with a text message:

“Mr. Grey, if you’re done with your work, would you honor me with your presence in the kitchen please?”

When I come out, she’s waiting for me with a beautiful chocolate cake with a single gold candle on it. All of a sudden I feel so special, so cherished, so immensely valued with this gesture, I grin ear to ear, and she sings Happy Birthday to me in her soft voice. I close my eyes, and make my wish. ‘I hope she likes what I have planned for her today! I hope it’s unforgettable! I hope she never leaves me!’ That’s a lot to hope for, but a man can dream. I open my eyes, and blow out the candle. 

“I’ve made my wish,” I say in a husky voice; my gaze intense on her, and she blushes all over again. 

“The frosting is still soft, but I hope you still like it.” I feel like a child, a loved child! A valued, cherished child... “I can’t wait to taste it, Anastasia,” I murmur, and I make a deep guttural sound as if I’m having a food orgasm. Ordinarily, if anyone said to me that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, I’d say you must have flunked your geography, but, now I find myself a firm believer that it may not be the initial starting point to the heart, but it sure paves the side road to it. It may not be the expressway, but it’s the scenic route. Anastasia cuts each of us a slice and hands me a plate. 

I dig into it like a hungry bear. It smells divine, and tastes even better! “Mmm...” I groan. Oh, God! She’s everything I want in a woman. “This is why I want to marry you,” I say in appreciation, and she laughs at my declaration. 


We are dressed and ready to go to my birthday party. Anastasia is wearing an emerald green cocktail dress with a wide belt. She looks good enough to eat! The ride to my parents’ house is smooth. I drive R8 and Taylor follows behind. I park the car in my parents’ driveway.

“Ready to face my family?” I ask as I turn the ignition off. 

“Yes. Are you going to tell them?” she asks.

“Of course. I’m looking forward to seeing their reactions.” I don’t want to tell her, I’ve already informed them, because that might blow my cover for what I had planned later. 

Anastasia pulls her wrap around tighter as the evening breeze greets us blowing from the bay. I take her hand proudly, entering into my parents’ house for the first time with my fiancée. Just as I hold my hand to knock the front door, my dad opens it. 

“Hello, Christian! Happy birthday, son!” he says, and instead of taking my extended hand, he envelops me in a hug, completely surprising me.

“Uhm... thanks, dad.” 

“Ana, it’s lovely to see you again,” he says to Anastasia, and hugs her as well. 

We follow my dad to the living room, and Kate the ball crusher comes to us like a bull-elephant in heat down the hallway, completely infuriated. Her red dress matches the color of her face. What’s her problem? 

“You two! I want to talk to you!” she growls. Anastasia looks up at me nervously. I shrug. She was her roommate. My dad looks completely dumbfounded at her behavior, but says nothing. We amuse her and follow her into the dining room. As soon as she closes the door, she turns to Anastasia so fast, if you blinked you’d miss it. She must have parked her broom outside. I almost find myself looking for the ruby slippers on her feet.

“What the fuck is this?” she snarls at Anastasia while waving a piece of paper. Anastasia looks bemused, and takes the paper, and as soon as she looks into the paper, blood drains from her face completely. Her eyes go wide, and she steps between me and Kate. My pulse speeds up, I feel anxious. Something’s horribly wrong!


~*PaKaHaJa*~ said...

Oh my gosh Emine... I didn't even have to wait... YAYAYAY!!! THANKS HUN!!! Whooo hooo am off to read it now!!! YAYAYAYAY!!!!!!!

Can you tell I'm excited!!! xoxoxo

Amy Headrick said...

What a wonderful surprise...I was just getting on again to re-read the last chapter, and OMG...just saw that you posted the new chapter early! What a great way to end my night and start my day! Thanks...cant wait to read this NOW, I'm sure its great like the rest. Thank You!

~*PaKaHaJa*~ said...

WONDERFUL as usual Emine.

not loving that you left it right where I've been wanting it.. hehehe.. Guess I have to wait now till next week...

Thank you soo much for my 50 shades update today.. Just what the Doctor ordered on such a cold wet windy day...


jodie said...

I only spotted you blog. A few days ago read the whole thing and now wait for new ones... You are a fantastic writer! I cannot wait for further chapters and book three.

Anonymous said...

This is my dessert for the week. I thought I would just login to reread a chapter ot two and to my surprise a new one! Thank you for writing this blog, you make my day!

Amy Headrick said...

Thank You for the was great; but sad it wasnt a bit longer:( LOL...again, I can not wait till the next one. Thing are getting good!

Keisha said...

LOVED this chapter SO!! ~sigh~ Brilliant as always Emine! This chapter brought happiness to me after a somewhat crappy day & week altogether. Anyhoo, I wait with anticipation for the next one! Have a good one :)

Anonymous said...

OMG SO GREAT EMINE YOUR WONDERFUL!!! Can't wait.for the next chapter...

Celeste (AZ)

Anonymous said...

Dear Emine,
You ace it every time my dear. Loved it!!!!!!!!
Can't wait till next posting..
Hope all good in your world. Thank you for entertaining all of us.
Yours Smiling
Kathy x (Australia)

Anonymous said...

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE reading each and every chapter! What a true talent you are and I'm so grateful you are sharing with us! Especially loved the part in this chptr when he writes the letter and sends money to the truck driver. Can't wait for your next chptr.

Anonymous said...

I'm disappointed Emine, thoroughly disappointed...I was looking forward to the birthday party this chapter and you're going to make us wait, cruel Emine, very cruel! ;-)
Loved this chapter, but can't wait for the next one!!!

Anonymous said...

Omg....great as keep me wanting more. When is ur next posting Emmie?

Anonymous said...

Can't wait for the next chapter

Anonymous said...

I love your version of christians POV.. And i really cant get enough.. Im actually reading your book 1 again.... And i cant wait for the next chapters!!! Thanks!!

Kathy said...

Thank you very much! Till next week!

Catarina* said...

Omg how could you have stopped here? I was so nervous reading, so anxious, and you stopped right when Kate showed them the paper! It doesn't mean nothing that I already know what is going to happen next, I need to know what Christian is thinking! This is so frustrating Eminé, I forget that you are writing this, is like Christian is writing to us! So I'm mad at him for stopping there, not at you my dear. You already wrote a big chapter to us, and it's perfect, so perfect. What he was thinking right at the begining, and his talk with Carry and Grace, and with Ray! oh my, he is so deeply in love it hurts...not having a Christian in my life! :p

Sweetie, you rock! This is wonderful, so amazing. I will have to look for more adjectives because I'm always saying the same ones!

What he did to brought tears to my eyes. I would love to know if Len reply something to him :D

I'm so anxious for the next chapter! We are almost at the end!!!! But I want more and more. O will love book 3 (in two!) because you are going to fulfill so many blank spaces that we are going to have a lot more of Christian that it was supposed, if you just followed the book! I appreciate your work so much Eminé :D

Thank you, thank you very much. I don't know how to thank you enough for sharing this with us :D

I love you my dear. You are part of my life now :)



Erin said...

oh thats just nasty i'm sure you had an evil smile on your gorgeous face when you decided to stop there hehehe

Bloody Brilliant as always xx have a fab week xx

Nadine Villanti said...

OMG Emine dont know how im going to cope, waiting a week for the next chapter! it's going to be amazing! Thank you for doing this :)

Khadene said...

Fantastic as usual!!!! I always love the detail you put into your writing. Keep up the great work.

Until next week(hopefully sooner. Lol.)

Backsassing said...

My gums are itching with excitement!!!

Anonymous said...

Emine.......... Eeekkkkkk what a cliff hanger... It was a fantastic chapter.. I am at the edge of my seat now until you release the next chapter... Awesome. Awesome...

mzthang said...

Oh Emine! I'm a tangle of emotions right now. I had tears in my eyes when I read his note to Len.... that was absolutely beautiful. As Catarina said I hope you will add Len's response to Christian's gesture.

Emine I do have to say you sure knows how to keep us coming back for I am here staring at my computer screen willing the story to go on. lol

Excellent work as always hun.

Hugs from
On the edge of her seat in the Caribbean.

Anonymous said...

You are amazing! I have been in bed recovering from surgery and you're book is a wonderful escape from reality. You're writing is outstanding! This is the way i would think Christian's POV would be. You are a shining star, a true shining star! Cathy

Eminé Fougner @ Cowboyland said...

What's the matter Cathy? You got me concerned. I hope you're alright. I hope you heal soon, and get back on your feet. ♥ ❀◕ ‿ ◕❀

Hugs ٩(^‿^)۶

Cynthia Settimo said...

Loved this. i cannot wait for the next chapter. I cannot wait to see what goes through his mind when he realizes what Kate has, and what happens with him and Grace..... :)

Anonymous said...

I just love reading your work. I think you're doing an amazing job on this book! And to think you do it with so much already on your plate is just outstanding. I think everyone else will agree when I say what a great job you are doing and the detail in which you go into to are just amazing. Big thumbs up from this Canadian gal!!!!

Bunco Girls said...

love it, thank you!

kksmom09 said...

Thank you so much for writing all these chapters I just found your blog this past week after finishing fifty shades freed and feeling lonely you have made me fall in the love the story all over again from his POV Thank you again and yes I have read all your posts I didn't sleep very much Thank you again looking forward to the next chapter :)

Anonymous said...

Brill brill brill..... But u had 2 stop wer it was gettin gud:-( cant wait for de next chapter... :-D

Rachel Brown said...

just amazing as usual i cant wait for the next installment left on a cliff hanger!!!! ahhh well i will have to wait

keep up the good work u are an amazing writer


Christal said...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! I HATE HOW UR SO GOOD A PLACING A CLIFF HANGER IN THE RIGHT SPOT! GRR! Until next week :( P.S This chapter was amaaaazing!! I'm praying next chapter is when elena is caught with ana and christian goes off!!!

Martha Baltazar said...

Emine, Oh my God. I loved, loved, loved this chapter. As usual, you captured Christian's point of view perfectly. I can hardly wait for the next chapter with the Elena scene. Thank you so much for your great writing.

Nikolina Bujdo said...

Ok, I found this blog just 2 days ago, and I've already read all chapters.
You're doing an amazing job here, and I can't wait for next chapter, the hell, I can't wait for the 3rd book and all the pregnancy chaos! :D

Nikolina Bujdo said...

Ok, I found this blog just 2 days ago, and I've already read all chapters.
You're doing an amazing job here, and I can't wait for next chapter, the hell, I can't wait for the 3rd book and all the pregnancy chaos! :D

Khadene said...

I can't wait to read Christian and his moms convo about his "relationship" with Elena o_o

Anonymous said...

Funny you say to get backk on my feet soon. It's my foot that had surgery! LOL I will be fine in a couple of weeks! Thanks for your concern! You truly have a gift with writing. I hope it's the career path you've chosen. You have extreme talent! You have fans here in Texas! Cathy

staciefromtn said...

Brilliant! !!!!!!! You write christian so well. I cannot wait to read how you will portray Christian dealing with Kate!!! Until the next chapter.

vera01 said...

emine like always amazing chapter can't wait for the final one!! have two questions?! first of all would you write about the wedding cause at least me i'm dying for more detail? and second of all, have you been thinking in write gideon's pov from bared to you? i said cause the new book will release this week and it's a lovely story as well... can't wait until next saturday to the next chapter!! monica

Sherry Ledford said...

I don't know what I will do with my time now waiting for another chapter. I love this and also knowing that there are so many who love Christian and Anna's story as much as I do and they see the depths of their love. Can't wait for the next chapter. When will you be sending it?
Thank you,

Charmaine Davies said...

OMG! This chapter was amazing but how could you end it with another cliffy? It will be agonizing waiting for the next chapter. I am back home now,the trip was amazing and have made some new American friends. Catarina,posted about the trip on Eros site. Hope everyone is well


Khadene said...


I'm having trouble downloading the pdf version for some reason.

Anonymous said...

OMG!!!!! You're killing me with the cliffhanger... but atleast we only have to wait a week. Hopfully I will make it!! I so loved the letter to Len!! Great writing!! I can't wait for the party to start!!

Eminé Fougner @ Cowboyland said...

E-mail me khadene and I will send you a pdf when I get home.

Anonymous said...

Wow. I read your entire blog today....I love it!!! I am sure that other people have said that you should get this published!!! I love it! Thank you so very much!

Anonymous said...

Omg I can't wait a whole week to read the next chapter :-(

Anonymous said...

Love love love... When will the next chapter be up. You truly have an amazing talent!

Brigie said...

You get better and better every time.

balanced beauty said...


Rachel Smith said...

Yay after the shitty & exhausting week I've had (funeral & full moon filled with bad patients at work, death, people losing their jobs because of budget cuts, I could go on and in how truly f***ed up my week has been) I was so pleased with this chapter. I have to say your blog has brought me joy, tears & all. I loved everything. The love story is so impeccable & I can't get enough. Hope your week goes better & can't wait for the next installment. Eminé you are brilliant!
P.S I apologize for my bad language :(

Alonna Crawford said...

I loved this just as I have every other chapter you have written...can not wait for the next one thank you so much for doing this.

Anonymous said...

I have been following your blog for a while now and I love your point of veiw of Christian. However I am very disappointed of this Weeks blog.this Weeks blog was finally getting to the good part of the book you and you have devided to make us wait. If you spent less time writing lyrics of songs you could get alot farther alot fast. Just are very talented

Enza Leo said...

another great chapter..... but i want to keep on reading... cant wait til next week... keep up the good work.. love it

Eminé Fougner @ Cowboyland said...

Thank you everyone!
Jodie – Welcome!
Keisha, Rachel-I hope both your week gets better. Under the circumstances Rachel, the way you expressed yourself was the most appropriate in English language :)
Kathy – I’m well, bit tired, and always busy. Hope spring is coming in Australia where you are!
Laney, Catarina, Erin, Nadine, mzthang, Cynthia, Sherry, Char, Anonymous (x3), Alonna – about the cliffie :) I know it sucks to wait... however, I think I should explain how Christian’s mind works. When I write, I only put the chapter # above, & clear my mind for Christian. When I place the last dot in the chapter, there are no images, no songs, not even a title. After I start, my own personality- my own way of thinking stays aside & makes room for Christian’s. I become an observer of my own mind, and let his personality take over. In order to convey his thoughts, I have to immerse myself into Christian’s. When I let Christian’s character take over, I feel the intensity of his thoughts and they’re always on the extreme-running hot and cold. It’s like running on the treadmill at your personal top speed. When I finish a chapter I need to wind down from his mind. This chapter took me 17 hrs to write, and about 4 hrs to edit (in day and a half). So, the music, lyrics etc. or even if I have to translate part of a lyrics (sometimes I find the translated lyrics, but there may something incorrect-I check it and correct it), it’s like running in slow pace to wind my mind down. I put the songs and other things in the editing phase. In short even if I didn’t do the wine down phase, where I stopped would still be the last dot in the chapter :) Because next chapter is more intense than this one, and I didn’t want to be tired when I was writing it. Usually the last chapter in each book in 50 series is the peak as opposed to winding down. I want to do a good job with fresh mind.
I didn’t have such a great week. I had to unfriend a friend (is that even a word outside of Facebook?) I finally found out my patience limit :) Not a close friend, but someone I’ve known since I was a teenager-one of those people who makes everything into a political or religious statement, and I don’t care for politics, and religion is someone’s personal thing. I don’t want neither to be imposed on me. It works so much better when you constitute a good example. Like this spring. It is so rare that I sleep till 8 a.m. but, I was so exhausted, I decided to sleep in till 10 for one Saturday. 8:01 a.m. the doorbell rings & I go to the door sleepy with my eye mask that “Do not disturb” shoved up on my head. Two twenty year olds at the door; I’ve never met them in my life. “Can I help you?” Blonde #1 says “Good morning ma’am!” (I mean with that alone she deserves a slap, it’s not a good morning, and I don’t like to be called ma’am) I don’t know why this cliché is always used and I’ve heard this line many times over, but there she went first shoves some brochures in my hand, and asks my tired, dumbstruck face, “Have you found Jesus, ma’am?” Normally I would have said, ‘I already know Jesus,’ but I didn’t like the condescending attitude she had, and decided to pay in kind. “Not this morning, when was he lost?”
“He’s the son of God! He’s not lost, you are.”
“I’m right here, I know where I am.”
“I mean your soul!”
“I’m pretty sure it’s still intact.”
“Have a good day ma’am!” with the look that said ‘devil spawn.’
After 7 p.m. the same day a skinny wiry guy comes from the same church, and I kid you not, he looks at me over his half-moon reading glasses. I’m in a better mood then, and I dislike it when people assume that I wouldn’t know anything about God, and feel the urge to lecture me. The first question he asks to me as he’s flanked with the Blonde #1 and 2 from the morning. “Do you know where you’ll go after you die?”
“If I die in Arizona, I would assume it’d be Mariposa Garden funeral home, if I die elsewhere, I guess whatever’s available,” and smile. But he got the joke. “But you know Jesus?”
“Yes, we’ve met,” and he shakes my hand and herds the girls away.

queenb52 said...

Oh Emine:::Your last comment cracked me up....I bet they wont be ringing your doorbell any time soon!!

Your last post on CG's POV blew me just up-ended my theory on the "argument" he had with Mia...I was thinking it was over letting the florists in to decorate the boathouse for the big proposal...and Mia was trying to wheedle information...see that's why you are the writer and I read...keep up the good work and don't answer early morning ringing of the doorbell!!...while I Anxiously await the next installment!

jackie young said...

OMG brilliant that was amazing and you left us hanging can't wait for the next chapter.

Anonymous said...

My anxiety is up for the next chapter!!! The letter to len brought tears showed the true heart of CG of paying it was exactly what I was hoping he would do. Loved it. Every week I think I cant love CG anymore but then u make it possible by giving him life. Not only him but all of the characters!! Cannot wait for the talk he has with his mom!!!!! Aaahhhh....cant wait......thank u for getting into CGs head every week!!! Isn't it funny how we love a mans mind written by a woman!! Tricia

Raquel Braido said...

Sweetie..... I don't have words!
It was mind-blowing!!!

I loved it and I love Fifty and I love you!


Catarina* said...

Oh Eminé, you know I appreciate so much everything you do my dear, I wasn't really complaining about where you stop the chapter (how could I dare to do so?? Shame on me if I did that!) I was just implying that I love so much everything you do that waiting almost kills me :p

I'm sorry that you had to unfriend a friend. I know that if you did that you really were out of patience and did the right thing but I understand that it's easier to decide something than to act based on that decision.

For the rest of what you said, first I laugh a lot, but then I remember the one time something like that happened with me when I was entering the hospital, and still, they approached me again when I was leaving the hospital! Really? Normally I just say that I'm not interested in hearing them, but that one time I was so mad that I just told them to get a job and mind their own faith! It's curious that you mention this today, because yesterday I was talking about these persons that are always approaching others at the street like we are some sheep out of the herd, and we need to get back with the others. It's so annoying, I know where their church is, if I wanted to go there, I would :s

But you are so funny, I wish I could remember to have a conversation like yours...and so early in the morning!

Love you dear :)

Char, I read what you said about your trip at Eros! I reply to you in the same chapter, the one from Wednesday :)



Donna said...

Cliffhangers, this week is going to feel like forever. I love the personal note and what Christian is doing for Len's family. Great writing!!!


Anonymous said...

Thank you for the insight into how you write these chapters Emine.
I was only teasing about leaving the chapter hanging, the effort they must take and the sacrifice to your time to write them is so much appreciated, and I will graciously accept your updates any time any way you are able to get them to us!
As always, thank you, your updates brighten up an otherwise mundane week.
Wishing you love and strength to see you through the trying times! :-)

Anonymous said...

You always do a fantastic job. I agree- it is hard to wait since it is such a cliffhanger. I am so grateful for you doing this writing. You are so talented. I feel like I know you.It is hard to lose a friend but all of us have been there having to let someone finally go. Christian's POV makes my day. I love your updates and always look forward to the next chapter. I know everyone has their own idea of who should play Christian in the movie. I just hope whoever they finally decide on brings justice to the Christian we have all imagined in our heads. Hope you have a great week!

Prince50 said...


How is everyone. I am sorry I been gone missed all of you! Emine as always love your writing. I hope everyone is doing well!

Eminé Fougner @ Cowboyland said...

Catarina-I know none of you were complaining. Love you too! Believe me, I would rather write all the time. But, I wanted explain the process, and that I want to do a very good job on the last chapter, because I might have a surprise in it – can’t tell what it is though; so I have to have clear mind, and I was sort of preoccupied work and ex-friends (purging). Then, one of our friends had a car accident. Yellow light speeder hit her when she was coming back from the gym. She had to have surgery...

Char-How was the entire trip to Europe? I was behind in Eros’ blog, but I caught up (didn’t get a chance to read comments though).
Rach-Love you right back :)

Queenb52 – Mia can’t keep a secret like that, it was about the security. Generally I don’t mine answering the door, but, condescension is a pet peeve I guess (like the dishes in the sink).

Tricia-I think next chapter will have a surprise or two.

Donna-I think this may not be the last time you hear of Len.

Hi Prince 50!! How have you been?

Tash said...

You kill me babe. Literally I die a little. Great cliffhanger. The next chapter will be great cant wait. Will the chase be a part of it or will you focus on the party? Can't wait mwah much love Tash xx

poliita said...

OMG! i loved it, as usual. I'm diying for the next chapter and read about the birthday party yay! Emine you're amazing .

xo from Chile :)

( i hope my english writing was good)

Eminé Fougner @ Cowboyland said...

Hi Tash! The main focus will be the party. But I don't want to give any spoilers.

Hi Poliita! Your English is just fine. I knew I had quite a few readers from Chile. I'm so glad you said hello! Thank you :) If you want, you can write in Spanish when you get stuck. I can understand it. I'm not as good in it but I can manage to respond; it's still work in progress.

Meanwhile, hope you all had a good weekend.

Cathy-I hope your foot heals soon. What sort of problem did you have with it? Get back up on it soon then :)

Suz-how's your healing going with your hand?

Rachel-I laughed at your boyfriend's grandma's introduction. As soon as I read that she said "Who are you?" for 8 years in a row, I had this mental image, 12 visit/year x 8 = 96 reintroductions. Everytime she saw you, you were reintroduced to her. It is kinda funny. It's like "50 First Dates". One of my grandparent's lucidity was touch and go I remembered that. She would get a blank expression on her face; it must have been scary for her not knowing who she was talking to, and I'd hold her hand, and I think when her vision failed her to recognize, her touch helped her remember. Our brain works in strange ways. Hope everyone copes better with her loss in your family.

Anonymous said...

Hi Emine

I have only just read this now and once again it was amazing! I have had an awful week with a close friend who has just been diagnosed with a terminal illness. She too loves your blog and has also just finished reading it. Has made our day! Looking forward to reading the next chapter. Have a wonderful week xo Wendy from NZ!

charlotte DK said...

Amazing chapter. You have done a really good job, and I can't wait untill the next chapter is online. I love that you give us the opportunity to see thing through CG and you make me smile and cry ;) Keep it up.

Enza Leo said...

another great chapter.. cant wait til next week.. the lemon martini thrown in elena's face.. yummy.

Amanda Asseruy said...

Eminé, you're amazing!!! I really love your blog.
I can't wait until next chapter. I hope everbody enjoy your fanfic, just like me.


Rachel Smith said...

She was a funny sweet lady. I work with geriatric psych patients, so lots of dementia & Alzheimer's. His gma wasn't as bad as my patients she was sweet & lovely but I just smile when remembering that. Things seem to be better on the family side, now if my job would be better all would be perfect in my world! Its kinda hard because of people being laid off. That especially sucks in the health care world. Working shorthanded when patients are already a handful but I love the work I do no matter how crazy my patients drive me. Tomorrow I will get a MUCH NEEDED day off & its also my daughters 6th birthday. I am planning to surprise her at school & going to eat lunch with her, and take cupcakes in for her class. I would bake them but I don't think I will have enough time so I'll be heading to the grocery store after work. We are celebrating with family in Sunday. Can't wait!!!

Eminé Fougner @ Cowboyland said...

Happy Birthday to your daughter Rachel! My sister is a nurse in Canada, and she works with geriatric patients, most of them have the same problems yours do.

My husband is also in healtcare; he works very long hours as well. In fact it seems like 24/7. Because he's in sleep medicine, they have day and night patients. Even if he's home, the phone rings with one emergency or another at night. Poor guy is overworked. I know how you feel. He was one of the organizers of an annual medical conference here in AZ, and it takes a lot of time aside from work. He's sick with exhaustion now. I completely understand everything you're talking about. Hang in there Rachel! Enjoy the little bits of happiness..

Raquel Braido said...

Rachel, Happy birthday to your little girl! :)

Yay! Another brazilian! Que bom ter você aqui, Amanda! \o/

Anonymous said...

I am so happy I found your blog. I like everyone was disappointed when I finished the trilogy. You are very very talented and have done an excellent job of retelling story from Christians POV. I am new to the blog so dont know a lot about you but feel like I should come cook you dinner, clean your house or something to repay you for your hard work. THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR doing this for all of us 50 shades fans. Donna from Delaware.

Rachel Smith said...

Thank you Emine and Rach. I can't believe that its been six years since I gave birth to my angel, she is my life and all the motivation I need to work hard, and do all I can to give her everything she dreams of.

Emine-I think all of us healthcare providers in the USA are going to continue to suffer with long hours and high stress levels until the government finds a way to provide adequate healthcare to all citizens without charging us an arm and a leg to obtain it, that is what the new administration of Obama or Romney needs to focus on when they make it to office. I hate talking politics too, it just leads to fighting and hostilities. I too have had the urge over the last few months to delete a family member from my facebook and also delete my own father, because of his crazy political posts on FB. I am so tired of every day getting on FB and seeing my newsfeeds flooded with Obama is a muslim...he isn't a citizen...and all that other bullshit that my dad and his cousin continue to post on a daily basis. I don't condone racism or discrimination regarding a persons religous beliefs, and my dad and his cousin had the nerve to say all muslims are mass murders if they believe in the Quran. I don't know what religous studies class they have taken, but I've known a few muslims, and I don't think they have an evil bone in their body. I was raised Mormon, not so much a practicer of that religion because of ideations of the religion that I don't agree with, but I know many people that believe Mormonism is a cult, so does that mean that we all are going to compare Mitt Romney to Jim Jones, the famous cult leader in the 70s? No because that is ridiculous. My feeling is religion and politics are meant to be a close, personal discission, and we are not to openly discuss it in a public forum. I mean how many people would openly admit to having an abortion in a crowd? It just asks for people to interject their opinions and their biases. Frankly, I agree abortion is a choice to be made by a woman, no matter her reason, it is her choice, she has to live with the consequences, and she doesn't need to be stigmatized by society because in a moment of weakness she made a selfish choice. I don't believe women should use abortion as a form of birth control, but if someone has an abortion, it isn't anybody else's business, and we as Americans and people should realize to mind our owns and not judge people for living their life the way they seem fit. If the president is Muslim, he still is President, he was voted by a majority of people, and we need to show him some respect, and not continue to defamate his character. We don't have to like him, or agree with him, but leave the debates in Washington and out of the the dinner table conversations.

SORRY about the little rant, I just have had enough of this election, religious debate. I'm sorry if I offended anyone. I know I kinda got of topic!!!
Have a great day!

Eminé Fougner @ Cowboyland said...

It’s a historical fact that religion has been used as a power tool to move the masses. The crusades, Buddhist Burma (human sacrifices were evident in 1850s), this one should interest you; Mountain Meadows Massacre; which was a mass killing of the Fancher-Baker wagon train (Utah Territory in 1857). It was committed by a group of Mormons and Paiute Indians. They intended to leave no witnesses because of the Mormon complicity in the siege of the Arkansas emigrants to CA. 120 men, women and children were executed. Spanish Inquisition (need I say more?) Salem Witch Hunts, Roman Empire persecuting Christians which was in Nero’s time around 64 AD, Aztec Human Sacrifice, the jihadists, Theodosius (he’s the emperor who made Christianity the official state religion) who was a Christian emperor had even executed children because they were playing with broken pieces of pagan statues... History is full of these shitty examples-humanity at its worst. None of those are acceptable. Honestly sometimes, I feel like I should just believe in a teapot orbiting solar system and controlling the universe. I hate hatred.

One of my best friends is Armenian. Me, being a Turkish descent, her being Armenian, surprises people that we are best of friends, and think we ought to hate each other. It’s most idiotic thing I’ve ever heard. She’s one of the sweetest, most considerate human beings I’ve ever met. On the hand, I once was a volunteer at our Baptist church in CA when I was 16. We were going to convalescent homes to visit elderly for Christmas, and give presents and sing carols. I chitchatted with the elderly and gave them gifts. We all had name tags. So, I took a gift and went into one of the room of an elderly gentleman who was bedridden breathing his last days. We talked a little, laughed even, and he said, “I can’t read your name, lean in,” so, I did. As soon as he saw my name, his face changed. “Is it by any chance a Turkish name?” he asked. I said “yes.” He started almost screaming at me. “They should burn you alive! You Turks massacred Armenians! None of you deserve to live! Go to hell!” I started crying, “Sir, I’m only 16! I didn’t kill anyone.” Nurse ran into the room, and he was yelling and saying I was an evil person and be tossed out, all because of my national origin. I left the place crying. I walked home. So, the other volunteers called my home, and told my family (who are your regular white conservative Americans) that I upset an elderly patient, and left the place. Of course things got sorted out later, but it was very upsetting for me. Having said that, I can’t let other people’s behavior to determine how I behave. They can hate me; there’s nothing I can do about it. But I hate no one. The only thing I hate is hatred itself. Sometime you just have to keep being yourself.

For that elderly gentleman; he’s long gone, and I felt sad for him that he saved that hatred in him for ages. Bitterness is a heavy burden-it eats the person alive. Forgiveness in the other hand is for our own well-being. It won’t change the past, but it sure will change the future. I’m not a miniature U.N.; I’m one person. I would rather be judged by my own actions, and not by what the people of my color did in the past, or my national ancestry, or what the majority of the people of my ancestry believes, or anything relating to my roots-which may be a part of me, but it’s not what defines me. Judge me by my own actions. If this is what I want for myself, how could I behave any differently to others?
MLK comes to mind when he gave his “I have a dream” speech: “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.” Not color, not religion, but the content of my character.

This is why I like 50. He doesn’t waste time with crap like that. He’s goal oriented, great lover, and a man in love. I say screw the fanatics. Not my cup of tea :)

Raquel Braido said...

Rach and Emine... I wish there was a Like Button here... I would even share with others what you just said. I totally agree with it, sweetie. I know what it is to feel pushed aside because of your religion. I'm a Christian that for many christians is going to hell because I don't think the same way they do. What to do? What I truly believe is love. God is love and he put me here on earth to show the world just that: LOVE! So yes, I have to quote you, sweetie. "The only thing I hate is hatred itself." ..... Fifty made me think in a lot of things and the most amazing thing I've learned with him is that there's beauty and love inside of everyone.

Raquel Braido said...

So, here I am again... just wanted to share this song with you.
It just says exactly what Rachel and Emine talked about.

Hope yo enjoy it:
This Side of Heaven - Chris August

Jacky Lizarraga said...

Love your blog!!! cant wait for the next chapter! :)

Jacky Lizarraga said...

love your blog. cant wait for next chapter! :)

Anonymous said...


I love your blog! I found your blog one week ago and already read all chapters. I really can´t wait for more of Christian´s POV. Besides - I think you are a fantastic writer!


Rachel Smith said...

I am glad that people here in this little 50 world understand and can have a competent and nonjudgemental conversation without making others feel bad for their believes and ideas. I totally 100% agree. I understand completely about the race and national origin thing too. That just seems silly to me, I could only imagine what people think of me, or my grandparents and great grandparents, when they find out they are German Immigrants coming over after the 1st World War, and then also that they were Mormons too, my grandma was born in Warren, UT and was #6 of 14 kids, her father had 2-3 mistresses, because poligamy is illegal, but he has other children out there and whos to say how many are actually born out of wedlock. Another thing that makes me mad, is my dad rants and raves about how bad abortion is but he fails to remember that he and my mother had 1 or two abortions before I was born, and I almost made the 3rd but my mom felt way to guilty about I was so regretful about being so selfish. but my dad can sit back and think he is perfect and can condemn people for making a choice that will live with them for the rest of their life. Americans have a lot of hypocrites.

Raquel Braido said...

Rachel, my dear.... it is not just americans, brazilians too! I think the whole world has a lot of hypocrites. We see it everyday!

Eminé Fougner @ Cowboyland said...

Oh Rachel, believe me, every country, every nation has loads of hypocrites. We don't hold the monopoly. I don't think it's because people are deliberately trying to be mean, but they don't know any better. You just have to take the teachable moments and educate them. I have German, French, Dutch, and Finnish cousins. I'm part Circassian. I believe they're north-western Russian immigrants. I'm not sure exactly. It really doesn’t matter. My children are, Welsh, English, Irish, Scottish, French, Norwegian, German, Turkish, and Circassian. A mix of so many; but in the end they’re American. My girls have Hebrew names. We’re not Hebrew, but I loved the names, I found them in ancient books I’ve read, and we’ve named them.

In the course of my life, I’ve met quite a few different nationalities, very nice people, but some of the nicest people I’ve ever met in my life are Americans. I don't like pride, but being an American constitutes one of the things I'm proud of. I have been fortunate to be a part of a good solid American family. We're a diverse nation; diverse opinions and views are expected-that's part of who we are, part of our fabric.
18th Century-Age of Enlightenment had these ideas of freedom of Speech firmly implanted certain freedoms into the western world, and is also a part of our constitution. Your father's opinion however much anyone disagrees is part of his freedom of speech. It is absolutely essential that his freedom of speech is protected. Not because what he says is the absolute truth, or norm, but because it also grants everyone else to speak their mind (fortunately not on my time), but he can say whatever he wants. I will defend his right to say it even if I disagree. I read history, and look at things objectively, but I dislike politics. I don’t watch news, don’t watch TV for that matter, or very very little. I have goals in life; reading, and writing, and leaving a better world, better environment, honorable children takes precedence over other things. Anger and hate, are just waste of energy for me. I don’t bother with them.

cat675 said...


You sure do know how to distract a girl from her problems. I luv you like a friend I've known forever. Keep it up.

Rachel Smith said...

You're very right...I am very proud to be an American. I have much respect for our military and especially our soilders, past and present. I was raised in a very strong military family, my grandparents and great grandparents in WWI and WWII, my uncle served in Germany in the last 60s-70s, my stepdad a Marine in Vietnam, my dad Air Force, and many highschool friends in Iraq and Afganistan. I appreciate their sacrifice and their passion to keep us safe, but I wish the war was over. I have Irish, german, welsh and French in my blood lines, My daughter is part Italian. A huge melting pot of many different and very unique people. I love learning history because a persons history is supposed to set an example on how people are supposed to behave, unfortunately some people, all over the world as I see now, never grasped that concept. Many of our history lessons would never have been taught if people behaved in a perfect manner, the actual American country wouldn't have been formed if in fact we didn't rebel, but now that we are an established country, strong and powerful, I think the world would be a much better place if peace and tolerance were priniciples that the world lived by, but a lot of people are filled with hate, and jealousy and a lot of the discrimination that is seen today, is because of trangressions that occured in the past. I think the past should be left in the past, and the only think brought forth is the lessons, no more of this "eye for an eye" retaliation crap, because frankly I am tired of war and tired of the drama and fighting it brings to our life

tammie jennings said...

I found your blog about two weeks ago and just finished this chapter. It was great reading knowing the next chapter is a click away....until now!! The part I was anxious to read is not a click away...that is so depressing!

First, you're really doing us a tremendous service by writing his POV. I read the series 3x and could've read 4x but this is a refreshing change. I like everyone else wants the author to write the same but I fear it will never happen. She was on the "Katie" show and it was rather obvious that she wasn't interested. She is seemingly focused on getting her other previously written books published (which are similar in sexual content). So....thank goodness we have you!

Couple reader comments the content with Taylor.....wish there was more with Flynn (his comments about paying him lots of money makes me think he speeddials him daily)....Len, was fantastic and REALLY hope we hear more....I thought that Mia was dealing with the florist so that kinda lost me....would love more with the brother ....the ring: can we hear how he selected it? I think would be beautiful. Flashback maybe?...So looking forward to hearing him plan the wedding which I REALLY missed in the original. Would've loved to see day of pr-wedding jitters conversation with his family and honeymoon planning...also, would LOVE LOVE LOVE it if you could take us further into the future! How will they manage their active sex lives with two kids? Especially considering the playroom is so far away! I certainly hope Mrs. Jones-Taylor has some additional domestic help. Speaking of her, I was wondering if she was referred to him by someone in the "community "? He obviously trusts her completely but I just don't see him revealing that in an interview: I.e. cleaning his BDSM playroom and living in an apartment with sexual slaves - are you kidding me?.....So to my new fan fiction favorite author, can you solve some of these compelling questions/ideas for me?

Anxiously awaiting your next chapters,
Tammie (Virginia)

Eminé Fougner @ Cowboyland said...

Welcome Tammie! I'll go into the missing details when I get to the third book. So, it may not start where the book starts. I didn't write about the ring in the previous chapters, because well, the element suspense. But, you're clever-it'll come up.

The florist-Mia had no idea about the florist, and she wouldn't have left them standing at the door; but she would try to pry out information and try to butt in. If you remember a previous chapter, she followed them to the boathouse and nearly caught them in the act ;) So it's the mother who knows about it, because 1) he wanted to share the info 2) he needed her cooperation about the florist. 3) In the next book you'll find out that he tripled the amount of security for the Grey family. Up until now, if he provided any security at all it was minimal. Now that there is a real threat, he's nothing but cautious, and keeps all that from Ana. She finds out from Kate in the next book. 4) There is the info on Hyde's PC which also made him nervous. So he has sufficient worry to provide extra security for them.

I don't think neither Taylor not Mrs Jones were referred by a community member, but I will clear that up in a future chapter. He didn't reveal that to them in the interview. In fact, he possibly had a list of possible candidates pre-investigated on their conduct, and they didn't even know who was going to interview them until he decided that he was going to hire them way before they knew him.

It will come up in the next book especially with the investigation. No worries. I'll clear them up.

Erin said...

oh gosh in no way was i being cranky i wanted to make you smile and know that you have us on the edge of our seats lol i really appreciate the week it takes for you to write there is no way i'd be able to do it your awsome xx

MichelleW said...

Thanks again for the pdf. Look forward to Saturday's posting. Actually can't wait.

Heather said...

I just started reading your take on Christian's POV, and all I can say is, "Wow!" You are doing a fabulous job! I can't wait to read more!! Thank you for making your work public, and putting so much work and thought into this! Awesome! Awesome! Awesome! :)

linda said...

hiya emine,

not posted in a while just wanted to let ya know im still reading and think that your still amazing!!! :)
things have been majorly busy at home just found out im expecting, and not been too well with it :(
really cant wait for the next chapter :) thanks again!

linda x

Anonymous said...

Just have to say how much I love this blog. I was so sad as I came to the end of the 3rd book of the Fifty Shades Trilogy. I loved the end of the 3rd book when they had Christians POV in it. I wanted so much more. When I happened upon your blog it was like a gift. I get my Christian fill once again from his side. I am as addicted to this as I was(still am-on my 4th reading now) of the Fifty Shades trilogy. You have so much talent and I think perhaps you should write a book of your own someday. I think you already have a following. Thank you for writing this. I look forward to your next chapter.

Rachel Smith said...

I completely agree that Eminé should write a book. Filled with a epic love story, drama & of course the cleverly placed cliffhangers. She's already mastered that!!!!

Anonymous said...

Hi Emine

Sorry for the late reply to your message, I have been trying to catch up on some sleep as I didnt get much last week.

My friend is actually called Anna and she is only 31 years old. She was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and it is at a too advanced stage where it is incurable. She has made peace with it or so she tells me, I am not too sure if I believe her or not. She is trying to be so strong for her family and all I do is cry in front of her! I try so hard not too but she has been a loyal friend to me for so long and I love her dearly. We have started writing a bucket list together for her and we have so many people supporting her in what she wants to do.

I really appreciate your kinds words and Anna does too.

We are going to keep celebrating her life on a day to day basis and I will not stop supporting her and her family.

Thanks again Emine and I hope you are having a good week xo.

Wendy from NZ!

Eminé Fougner @ Cowboyland said...

Hi everyone-been busy working today (still am) but took a little break to dance around with my girls.

I love the old movies, and we've put Doris Day on repeat and have been dancing to Que Sera Sera (Whatever will be will be)-

I love this movie, because Jimmy Stewart is in it. When I was a freshman in college, I used to waitress at a French restaurant in Santa Barbara called Le Poupon. The owner was a cheap bastard but the food was good, and Jimmy Stewart was a regular there. He was such a gentleman. Kirk Douglas also frequented. It was kinda nice to remember him, and introduce my girls a piece of history :)

Sherry Ledford said...

Emine......I love your writing. You have captivated since I found your blog. I was so excited just reading your intro at the top. I wanted to thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to do this for all of your fans. You are Dear and I love how you interact with all of us and you truly care how we are all doing and our thoughts. Again thank you and I'm so glad I've met you even if it is only in writing. Take care and can't wait til the next chapter.

tammie jennings said...

Thanks so much! I really didn't like the chronology of the third book. Second book was my favorite by far! I see what you mean about Mia & the florist.

When you write the extra scenes, I'm taken back to how I felt reading the series the first time. They're great! Please give us more :)

Just know that when you are 15+ hours into writing a current chapter, we're with you in spirit urging you on with our appreciation.

Anonymous said...

when is ur next posting??

Anonymous said...

We all love you and your devotion to 50. Fills every gap in my heart after feeling lost when I finished the trilogy. I hate waiting but I love it too, it keeps the story going instead of me reading and finishing it all at one time(like 50 shades) I am so in love with the actual story of them and they're unconditional love! So thankful to have the opportunity to know your writing from a small town in SC. Taylor <3

Catarina* said...

Eminé, is your friend ok? The one that had to have surgery :s

I hate when someone don't understand that, when they are driving, they are controling a "killing machine" :s

I love everything you and Rachel Smith said. You know we have been talking about this kind of thing for a while, but it was good to see that Rachel thinks like us too. Wasn't so good to know that her father is more or less like mine, not is that extreme way, but mine is very prejudicial too. That's why we are always arguing :s

I'm so excited to Saturday! I hope we can see the next chapter :)

I know you spend all the time you can writing my dear. And thank you, thank you very much for that :)

A big kiss to all,


Rachel Smith said...

The problem with my dad is he doesn't think his opinions about people are wrong. He thinks he's always right. I'm glad that we have similar ideas about issues but even if we didn't I think we'd be adult enough to accept each others opinions & agree to disagree.

Eminé Fougner @ Cowboyland said...

2 days ago I received a comment on my 50 Shades Freed review – since she was anonymous it’s my duty to explain the location: Downtown Dallas – business district- (I can pinpoint the exact address, but I won't) someone who was in her business hours using her time to harass me. According to her, and these are her exact words: as I’m quoting:
“You need therapy. And an education, because you are the dumbest person I've ever seen.
These books and people like you are what's wrong with the world today.
Let me guess - you also think Chris Brown is a stand-up guy and a big ol' softie, eh?
You're a disgrace to women everywhere.”

Here’s my rebuttal although it doesn’t deserve one, because it’s got several fallacious assumptions. Me needing a therapy: I’m not the one going to a stranger’s “PERSONAL” blog and leaving an anonymous comment on my work hour, harassing someone (harassment is against the law). What should I be? A feminist who abhors men? A religious zealot who abhors anyone who doesn’t believe in the same norms as themselves? So, me, writing about a love story is somehow something that requires therapy? Love and sex are themes even mentioned in the Torah, Bible, and other religious text. Yes, I can read them. It comes back to this: God created man (mainly his head, neck, torso, arms, legs, and feet) and ask the old fiend “the Devil” the complete rest, and he snapped on the genitals. Is that how it happened?

If she’s mentioning Chris Brown she’s definitely a feminist. Because they were quite mad at Rihanna for taking him back. How Chris Brown, an abuser be put in the same category as CG? All of CG’s relationships were consensual. He had safe words; he didn’t do anything to anyone they didn’t want done. Whether I agree, approve, or disapprove is irrelevant. That was the nature. But, I’m not taking that aspect, because, I don’t like that. I only like the love aspect which is evident in his relationship with Ana. Just because it wasn’t written, doesn’t mean that Mr. Darcy didn’t have hot sex with Elizabeth Bennet! Shouldn’t people given a chance to redeem themselves? What’s the point of heaven if we can’t aspire for it, reach for it, amend our wrongs?

Dumbest person remark: I can solve a linear equations problem, I understand quantum physics, I can read and write several languages, I can write software in Basic, Fortran, C, C++, Data Structure (not that I like it), and I can write stories (I think). I read more books than a PhD student because it’s part of my daily work. My IQ is 157-not boasting, just stating a fact. I have quite a few Princeton, UCLA, UC Berkeley, UCSB, University of Chicago educated PhDs in my family (I don’t have one, don’t care to get one), but the point is, I can hold my own. Part of the higher education is to learn the otherness – being able to put yourself in the shoes of others-that’s why most colleges now require education abroad if only for a semester, so you learn to put yourself in the shoes of other cultures. I’m not the dumbest person I know – I’m pretty sure, I’m not dumber than Snooki on Jersey Shore. So, that argument has no merit.

A disgrace to women: I’m a volunteer interpreter for abused women shelters and PDs. Several years ago, I interpreted for a woman who was choked an inch of her life in front of her two kids by her husband who was studying his PhD in Early Childhood Education. She barely escaped, and I was called to interpret. I did. She & the children were placed in a shelter. The husband however got a copy of the police report and got my name as the interpreter, not only did I receive death threats but he made attempts to kidnap my 2 ½ year of and my 9 month old baby, and put a reward on his wife’s head. PD wouldn’t even take a report, because no crime was committed yet (48 messages in one hr didn’t even count). Even to that guy, I wasn’t vindictive. What I fail to see is, how a person can draw broad conclusions because I love this book? What do you think? Is there something I’m not seeing here?

Rose M. Wesley said...

Although you didn't need to respond to that RUDE (and that is being nice) person, I am glad you did. This is a fantasy series of books that many enjoy as a "guilty" pleasure. As you said it was all consensual and if you ask me there is nothing wrong or un natural about someone consensualy exploring their sexual boundries. Let small minded people harass others if they must. I am glad you write this blog and will continue to read even after you are done with the CG Series.
Glad you stuck up for yourself and all CG lovers out there.

Anonymous said...

just found this and have read of it in 2 days, it is amazing!!!!!!!!!!! when will you be posting the next chapter?
very well done

a fan of 50 shades of grey from greece

Raquel Braido said...

WOW! I don't even know what to say! I totally agree with Rose. I don't understand why people waste their time criticizing others. You know what? They could you use their time to actually do something good and do the change in this world that they like to talk about so much. I heard once that actions speak louder than words. I believe that. And I know that what you're doing here is much more than what a person like that has done in her entire life. And say whatever they want, we'll still be here and loving fifty and every good thing this story has to offer. :)

Eminé Fougner @ Cowboyland said...

Next update: Saturday October 6th. Pacific Standard Time. Greece is about 10 hours ahead of my time zone. So it may be later for you. Welcome by the way.

I forgot to answer Monica's question about "Bared to You," whether I would write Gideon's POV. I love the series (though I only started reading the 2nd book since it only came out yesterday). Still so busy, so might finish it this weekend. Writing the first 2 books took about 6 months to write; "ll write the 3rd book in 2 books to fill in all the missing gaps - (BTW, most of you know this, but to remind you again - tell me what parts you think is missing. I'm making a list so I can write story lines, and fill those gaps).

Do it fast though, because 2nd book is almost over, and I'm not starting where the 3rd book started :)

I need input for the list of missing parts.

So, I might write Gideon's POV down the road, but, I think it will take a while, because CG will keep me busy for sometime.

maria Morales said...

I absolutely love your blog!!!!!!
heres a song that i found and i think its perfect for fifty and ana
-you are my miracle- by vittorio grigolo

Anonymous said...

You didn't need to respond to that person but good on you! Some people have far too much time on their hands and it makes me laugh that they do this sort if thing. Grow up and get a life I say! You are amazing Emine and have lots of fans all over the world who love and admire you, don't ever forget that:) Wendy from NZ!

Anonymous said...

As always, I have enjoyed your latest installment to this captivating Trilogy. What stands out in the entire post is your mention of the 'thunderbolt'. I do not know if you are aware of it, but in Mario Puzo, he also has the character, Michael Carleone (Al Pacino's best role ever!) have a 'thunderbolt' moment in the first of his trilogy. Michael Carleone is sent to Italy to hide for a while and falls in love with Apollonia and his keepers (all spoken in Sicilian with the translation on screen) in Italy are talking about this thunderbolt moment and describing it very similar to the way you have described it here.

And the only reason I know this is because, while not a big movie buff, this is one of my few favorites and have watched it more than several times. The book, which preceded the movie, also mirrors the book almost to a tee.

But another big 'thunderbolt' moment in literary history.


Catarina* said...

Raquel and Rose said it all my dear. You know, you did good to answer that way, to put that awful person in her place. But on the other hand, what they want and like is attention. If you ignore them, they will eventually just shut up. Because what's the point of bothering someone, if the person don't get bored at all? But you did well. You always have a right to speak your mind and to show that frustrated person how wrong she was!

I hope she never bothers you again. It’s like; if you don't like it, then don't eat it! If only the world would consider this, and stop trying to make other like what this or that particular person likes...damn!

So excited for Saturday Eminé :D


Anonymous said...

I apologize Emine, but I omitted the name of Mario Puzo's book, The Godfather, which was made into a trilogy of movies based on his original novel. A beautiful book, too. But the 'thunderbolt' moment comes in The Godfather, Part 1 when Michael is hiding in Italy and he sees this beautiful girl that he falls in love with. As in most cases, the book's description of these scenes is so much better than on screen, but good nevertheless.


Eminé Fougner @ Cowboyland said...

Hi Bethann,

I love the movie "The Godfather", but I don't remember that scene. I have to watch it again to see; but I'm not surprised to hear "the thunderbolt" moment.

Recently one of my readers from Macedonia, Mimoza wrote that for us the Mediterranean people (either living in the region or descendants), we're either deeply in love, or deeply in hate: there's no in-between for us. I think it reflects in the literature or in movies. We crave for that desperate "love" deeply in love "status".

We love “love”. But then again, that should hold true for anyone who has half a heart. Love is one of the driving forces of life after all. Of course, if you listen to some other people, we might need “group therapy” to cure our status of hunger for love, but I think we’re doing a good job with that here, don’t you think so?

Anyway, I haven’t had a critical message in months, so, this is the first one to come, and surprisingly, I feel, nothing... No ill will, no anger, no displeasure, just nothing. I look at it objectively. The reason I shared this here is so you know that there will be critics of anything you do-me or you, and since in her opinion “people like me” which bundles you guys up as my readers is what is wrong with the world, I thought you might want to see how unreasonable people can be. This would mean that drug dealers, murderers, kidnappers, people who traffic humans, people who commit unspeakable atrocities are not as bad as us who read romance novels. I wanted to see if I was missing the logic behind it.
In the end, it shouldn’t deter you achieving a goal in life however simple or complicated. I didn’t post her comment where she wrote it and neither did I write a response there. I know she would expect a response, and criminals tend to go back to their crime scenes :) but she won’t be getting one there. This is for the rest of you who are endeavoring to undertake any task & apprehensive about it because you might get criticism. Because no matter how you handle it, someone is unhappy.

queenb52 said...

That piece of drivel from that VERY small person definitely belong in your"FUCK-OFF" folder.So least be big enough to ID yourself if you have so much to say..I totally agree with Rachel and Rose....not worth the dignity of a response..but being the lady you are you gave her? her time.

Emine you rock....I truly enjoy your writing...Looking forward to Saturday!!

Anonymous said...

It would be great to read a chapter from Mrs. Jones and Taylor's they started with Christian and what they think of his lifestyle and Anna...just an idea.

Anonymous said...

I love reading your work! Can't get enough of the look forward to the end of Book II.

Anonymous said...

Hi Emine! can't wait for the next chapter! i love your blog! :) can i also have a pdf form of book 1?

Eminé Fougner @ Cowboyland said...

Hi Karen!
e-mail me and I'll send you a copy:

Tina Stauske said...

I Love Love your work!!!!
I would love to be able to print it off so that I can highlight my fav parts. I read the book 2xs and I was so stressed about how the last book ended and just kept wanting more. Reading your blog I have calmed a bit and I think it is due to knowing how he is feeing. I loved reading the new chapter today.
Thank you so much!!

Liz said...

Love it!!! Love CG's pov better than Ana's in the og book! But what I would love to have read was when did CG have the time to buy Ana's ring? In the OG book and in this POV he just doesn't seem to have the time? I know you write in this chapter that he bought it after he proposed but again where was the time? Something like that Christian would want it to be perfect and take his time and have it designed. I want to see his process. Did he ask Taylor and Ms. Jones for help like after Ana left and he was determined to get her back and you had him ask them for advice about buying flowers and he just seemed so cute, shy and awkward! Or at this point he's just so confident about their relationship that he just knew . . . I will always wonder. But it's all good! Can't wait till next chapter, a little Ana and Elena Cat Fight! MEOW! Thank you for your time and commitment on this! SO GOOD!

Rachel Smith said...

Hello Emine,
I am very impressed with your response to the hateful comment you received. I don't think I would of made the same response so eloquently. If I was responding, I would of cussed and said some not so lovely things. This is why you are phenomenal. I have a potty mouth, and you make a rebuttal using the best words from the English language, and in return make that hateful person look like the real idiot!!
Thank you for writing Christian's POV, and thank you for sharing the same passion for the Grey saga as the rest of us. I have read other FanFiction's and I have to say some of them are horribly written and make Christian look like a complete (excuse my language) jackass. I don't think I can continue reading those other POV's because they cast Christian in a not so well light!!

Andrea McBride said...

Ive been late and been behind for the last 3 chapters! AND OMG how amazing!!! As always you leave GREAT cliff hangers!!! Hoping I dont have to wait long!!! Thanks:)

MichelleW said...

Emine, no matter what you do in life there are people like that. It's easy to say to ignore them but they'll always be there. I've really enjoyed what you've been doing with Christian's POV.

I'm a very independent person, who by the way believes in God, but I still enjoy the naughty things in life.

Keep up the excellent work and remember that we love you. Ignore the SOB's that send you nasty emails, blogs, etc. Life is too short. Take care and I look forward to Saturday's posting.

Vanessa said...

Can you send me a copy of book 1 in
PDF please
Love your blogs. Have read the original
Books 6 times.
Could you also put book 2 in PDF please
So much easier to read and you could
Send me that one as well.
You have a real talent

tammie jennings said...

I would also love to read a chapter on their POV!

Anonymous said...

The one thing I find most interesting is what questions leliah had for christian, as we hear she tries to get into contact b4 she goes to visit Ana, and I know some may say its just to say thanx etc but i feel that she will always have an infactuation with him and what about susan? I mean is all christian ex's going to come and cause trouble between A&C?? Just a thought.


Anonymous said...

I'm addicted!! OMG!! Your are so talented!! Can't wait for the next chapter!! :)

vera01 said...

ok emine as long as you keep writing i'm ok, i'll wait for gideon's pov by the time you'll done with christian's the 3 book of crossfire series wil be out so you'll have plenty of time for that, so for the blind spots between the 2nd and the 3rd the night at the boat house in the 3rd ana's told something about it but not too much, the intensive chat between christian and his father about prenup,the big fight between christian and ana for the vows the obedience thing,and the detail about the day of the wedding like the ceremony and the first dance please can you mention the song for the first dance will be witchcraft cause it was the first song they dance together as a couple i think this will be perfect and i just finish the 2nd book crossfire series emine the only thing i would say is WOW OMG i cant wait to december 31st when they will release the 3rd book in the meantime i have your beautiful blog to keep my mind free of stress, and for the person who write such of stupid things here is me advice emine, you should be grateful for that you know why? because even the heaters love your blog and they wish to have your talent to write such a beautiful things, so the best you can do for this person is ignored it xoxox cant wait for tomorrow for the next chapter!! monica

Thil27 said...

I am loving this. Please keep it up. I have read several stories through CG in various blogs and this is quite a favorite.
I too wait for book 3 and the missing scenes. Planing the wedding and homecoming as well as fight over prenups. I want to hear CG defend Ana to his dad. Oh and please more from the honeymoon, specifically the early days in England and Paris

Thanks heeps. Definitely makes my day/week

Thil27 said...

I love this. I wait for book 3 and the missing parts.
Argument about prenup. Particularly how CG defends Ana to his dad. Wedding plans, and it would be great to see the early honeymoon day in England and Paris.

Please keep writing. Found this blog recently and loving. Read several CG stories, and your CG is a favorite.

Thanks heeps

Amy Headrick said...

Can NOT wait to wake up or just stay up late for the new one!! The Suspense is killing me! I know it's going to be good as usual!

Eminé Fougner @ Cowboyland said...

WENDY in NEW ZEALAND - Could you e-mail me please before I post tomorrow??? I need to ask you something.

Or if you don't see my note here, I'll remind you tomorrow. Thank you!

Belinda said...

I just read your entire blog in about 1 week, and I have to say that I absolutely love it! I loved this book from the very first page I read and I love that as women we can be more open about what was once considered "taboo". CG's POV is amazing! You have great talent! CAn't wait for the next chapter!

Anonymous said...

Continue your work for yourself and alll of us! Critical comments happen to all of us in anything we do, however, personal attacks are not cool. It's easy for peope to attack people behind the privacy of their computer. I am proud of the way you responded. We love you and appreciate everything about you! Ready for the next chapter! Have a great weekend! Cathy in Texas

Anonymous said...

When can we expect the next chapter? I don't think any of us can wait any longer...

Eminé Fougner @ Cowboyland said...

Next update: Saturday, 12:00 p.m. PST tomorrow.

Nadine Villanti said...

Emine. I haven't laughed so hard in a while, ok maybe the comedian i seen on tueday but your "come back" to that lovely person trying to comment on your blog in her work hour was amazing! you can seriously hold your own and in this day and age you need too. Hope this week has been alot better for you personally and I hope you had chance to properly wind down to do the editing :) much love <3

Anonymous said...

I have emailed you :) Wendy from NZ!

Jlynn said...

Emine, you do a fabulous job with the story. Now that iam caught up i can not wait for more Thank you for sharing your skill of writing with us. I love a good love story. I also didn't realize until i read this story how much my thinking is affected by the way i think i should feel or react to things.

Anonymous said...

Love, love, love your blog! I have been as addicted to reading Christian's pov as I was the books! I think you are an amazing writer! I think Gideon's pov from the Crossfire novels would be interesting too!!!

Anonymous said...

Im Looking forward to the scene with christian visiting ella's grave!!!

Claire :D

Anonymous said...

Hello Emine!! I just love your blog here on Christians POV!! It has been such a treat reading this throughout all the chapter and thank you for doing this for all the fans here!! I was wondering if you could send me a copy of the PDF file for book 1... Thank you I would really appreciate it... You are such an amazing writer with an extraordinaire personality!! Thank you again and really looking forward to the next chapter!! ~Marie~

Anonymous said...

Dear Emine,
2nd comment this post. Sorry..
Just wanted to say you are brilliant, please don't waste your linguist prowess on replying to anonymous hate mail.
I'm sure your worldwide fans agree.
Take care
Yours Smiling
Kathyx (aka Dr. Greene) (Australia)

Anonymous said...

OMG I love what you are doing you are so talented im glad i found your site i cant wait for the next chapter...Thank you very much

Anonymous said...

hi a big fan of fifty shades from Philippines..actually im not fond reading books.but one of my friend force me to read this book and i find it interesting until im addicted with saw your blog site in one of my likes(fb) about hooked me and i rush to read your christian pov..your first chapter is really amazing..girl your such a keep my heart on my mouth...i dont want to stop reading your makes me excited all throughout..every time i visit your site for me to check if there's new always make my day complete..and i cant get enough so instead of waiting for the next i re-read book1..and even how many times that i read the excitement is still there and nothing change..thanks for sharing your talent with us..cant wait for the next love love....god bless.....~ekhay26~

Anonymous said...

hi a big fan of fifty shades from Philippines..actually im not fond reading books.but one of my friend force me to read this book and i find it interesting until im addicted with saw your blog site in one of my likes(fb) about hooked me and i rush to read your christian pov..your first chapter is really amazing..girl your such a keep my heart on my mouth...i dont want to stop reading your makes me excited all throughout..every time i visit your site for me to check if there's new always make my day complete..and i cant get enough so instead of waiting for the next i re-read book1..and even how many times that i read the excitement is still there and nothing change..thanks for sharing your talent with us..cant wait for the next love love....god bless.....~ekhay26~

Anonymous said...

Ermine. I am sorry you were verbally attacted by this person who really has no clue. I just want to thank you for sharing your wonderful talent with all of us. You are truely amazing and I am in awe of you. To compare our Christian to Chris Brown shows their level of intelligence. You are GREAT!!!!!!

Donna from Delaware

Anonymous said...

So, I am patiently waiting for the next chapter!!!! I'm in NJ and its about 9am, so that means I will be waiting til around 3pm. I'm really enjoying your writing, keep it up. Thank you, Nicole.

MichelleW said...

I'm in the same boat Nicole ... i'm in Newfoundland and it's 10:37am here. Can't wait.....

Anonymous said...

Hi Emine it's Marie again... Oops I'm sorry I forgot to include my email address to send for the PDF file for book one. Once again your doing such a great job and thank you again. ~ Marie ~

tammie jennings said...

Very, very interesting! I would love to read that as well!

tammie jennings said...

Yes, yes, yes! I forgot about that and also what did his parents think? Did he tell them? And, did he tell them before or after he went? Good catch Claire!!

Nieves said...

Hi Ermine! I'm not sure if anyone else mentioned but I remember in the 3rd book towards the end when Ana and Christian were talking about naming the new baby after his mother that he said no. He mentioned that going to her grave site eas as much as he would do. IT Would be great to resd about that day and how he dealt with his mom killing herself. I can just imagine the pain. Hope u consider it. Nieves

Jenfer said...

Sexting, huh? Well, I do love their emails, so sexting could be interesting! If it's between two people who are in love, then what's the hurt? Go for it!!
Can't wait for more! :)

Jenfer said...

Hey, sweet lady!! YOU JUST HIT 1,400,152 PAGE VIEWS!! How awesome!! Can't wait until your next post! Will it be Monday night?

I am sharing your blog with everyone I know that loves the story! Thank you so much for keeping it going!


Eminé Fougner @ Cowboyland said...

Hi Jenfer! Yes, I'll be updating tomorrow night. I'm still working on it, and I assume I'll be working on it most of Monday :) But it should be ready in the evening. I'm very humbled with all the response from all of you. I'm trying to do my best to do justice to all the characters we've come to love so much.

Thank you again sooo much for reading and being a part of this blog. xoxoxo

Jenfer said...


Well, since you asked for our opinions about the wedding, I am a Catering Director, so i do have a few ideas. I will email you a few pictures of wedding dresses...I think Ana needs some type of train, a fitted dress, something that will melt Christian's heart when he see's her-like never before!! the colors should definitely be grey and pink, and the flowers pink and off white roses. Christian MUST be in grey!!!
Of course, the cake must be incredible, but simple and large. They must have their favorite champagne, Bollinger! I will email you some menu items. And cake pics! this is fun!! :)
Can't wait for the next chapter!
Love and Laters!

Jenfer said...

Hey, you know leaving us with a naked and sulking Christian was not fair...LOL!

Love ya and Laters!


Jenfer said...

As I sit here on pins and needles for the next chapter, I am feeling for the people in NYC, New Jersey and the surrounding states! They just said Sandy has made landfall, and I hope everyone is in their safe place! Thoughts and prayers to you!

Linda said...

I just found your blog about 2 weeks ago! I am so happy you wrote from CG's POV also. You have brought out every emotion in me! It is nice to see a different spin on CG and like everyone else, I can't wait to read more of what you have to say. I do hope you give us good insight to Ana's pregnancy and how Christian handles Teddy and Blip 2.

Llamasstory said...

I know I am tuning in a little late here, having discovered Ermine's wonderful fanfiction version of the story, but I just want to say how much I like the cover a grateful reader made for Ermine, as seen at the beginning of Bk II chap 24. I am lucky I don't have to have anxiety attacks waiting for the next chapter - cause you all are so far ahead of me!

Llamasstory said...

Thanks, Like Linda, I just tuned in in the last 2 weeks. Grateful I can read a number of chapters in row, and don't have to have anxiety attacks about "when is the next one coming out?" Thanks to the reader who made a lovely cover for Ermine's fantastic story. I feel like you Ermine have a wonderful grasp of the characters of the characters and a perfectly plausible supplemental material to the original story. Thanks for your ongoing good work!

Evie Hammond said...

Brilliant! (Although I do wish the books would have dealt with C's obsession with "obedience".) These are my fave parts, which had me howling out loud with laughter! (And believe me, I think those sentiments are far too mild about Kate! I never understood how anyone could think of that as a friend, when she was in her own way a worse bully than Christian!)

Ordinarily, if anyone said to me that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, I’d say you must have flunked your geography ... It may not be the expressway, but it’s the scenic route...

She must have parked her broom outside. I almost find myself looking for the ruby slippers on her feet.