This blog is a tribute to the characters of the 50 Shades Trilogy & EL James for creating them. I'm writing Christian's POV for all of your enjoyment. A snack between meals: Sinful and tasty. Enjoy! Let’s talk of Greys. ❦ ♡ ❧
confounded, thunderstruck! I could swear I saw someone out of my dreams. But he just turned out to be someone Alex...
Mr. Pella, the painfully attractive, my possibly future boss needed in Arizona
tomorrow. How long have I been in his office? It felt like years, and then no
time at all. How could that be possible? I feel like I’m under some sort of
spell, a spell I don’t want to wake up from for a change. My heart never
stopped beating at top speed. I’m exhausted just with being in Alex’s... Mr.
Pella’s presence. I better get used to calling him Mr. Pella if I’m going to
work for him. I’m quite sure that all women who are in his acquaintance and men
who are not straight as an arrow are just drooling over him.
“Mr. Pella, Mr. Pella, Mr. Pella, Mr.
Pella... Alex,” I murmur unable to help. Then my subconscious chides me,
“He’s going to be your boss. Better get used to calling him ‘Mr. Pella’!” I sag
against the elevator wall. I need the job. It's everything I would want from a career. Something different everyday, different places to go to, different cultures to learn. I am still freaked out about having to liaise between an intense, in control and utterly gorgeous man and the top businessmen of the world idea. But I have to get out of Sarah’s vicinity
and her odious shrink.
I really work for the most intense man I have ever met in my life, a man I feel a profound attraction from the second I met him? But then this
experience might give me something to break away from my dreams. God knows I’ve
been trying something, anything and everything intense short of dying just to
be able to feel, not to be so numb to my existence here and now, and not live
in some dreamland. Maybe this intensity
is exactly what I need. Something to jolt me into joining the living in the
daylight hours... I exhale a breath I didn’t know I was holding. He’s so
incredibly good looking and one frigging ultimate manly package and
ridiculously rich. Oh shit! We’re in totally different leagues. He’s probably
got women lined up all the way into the corners of the earth considering all
the places he’s been, just to get a glimpse of him or thirty seconds of his
precious time. Women who are beautiful, smart, equally wealthy, confident, and
with sexual prowess... My heart sinks. Qualities I don’t possess...
unlike you...” my subconscious reminds me as if I need reminding.
I’ve got nothing in my name, what I should get will be taken away, otherwise
will get me locked away; Sarah made that much clear to me. My checking account
boasts a whopping $63.27; my own nanny gave me the money for gas to get here. I’m
a new college graduate, and the only reason I don’t have student loans is
because my uncle insisted to pay for my college education. He and Stella
purchased my first brand new car as a graduation present, a silver Mustang. I
have two best friends Melie and Rose, and I haven’t had a boyfriend to speak
of. Most guys, especially the last one had dated had the sole purpose of getting
me to fourth base without going through first, second or even the third which
is why I broke up with him last year. When it comes to sex, the neighbor’s two
year old puppy probably has better sexual prowess than I do... my subconscious
shakes her head at me sadly. The only sex I had was in my dreams with a man who
doesn’t exist. Suffice to say that the extent of my experience is pitiful at
best. That about sums up the poor inventory of my life. ‘Just worry about
retaining the job!’ I remind myself. He can probably hire the best
employee he wants; why would he want someone who doesn’t have any job
experience? I have to work my ass off this week to prove myself.
door dings open, and I straighten my back and as I walk out and come face to
face two leggy women; a blonde and a brunette. The blonde woman looks elegant,
sophisticated and so sure of herself. I
can’t help but notice that she’s wearing in a pair of Manolo Blahnik alligator
boots. I know them to be $14,000 because Sarah owns a pair, and her dress is
just fresh off the runway from Paris, or London or Milan or some fashion
capital like that. The other woman is a brunette with shiny, straight long hair
down to her mid back wearing a pencil skirt which is hugging her curves in all
in the right places, and her double Ds are accentuated with a curve hugging
sleeveless blouse and her feet are donned in Ferragamo pumps. She not only
smells money, but also class. Both women are holding über expensive Gucci purses elegantly on
their arms. By the looks of all four of the suited security guys gawking at
them openly, I can tell that these women are used to getting this reaction, and
I’m sure they expect to the get the same response upstairs.
of a sudden, I feel so out of place. Compared to these two, I look like a
teenager who raided her mother’s closet and playing dress up with her clothes.
The two women stop talking when they see me exit the elevator right in front of
them and give me an appraising look from head to toe as they’re effectively
blocking my way. The glossy ‘Visitor – 35th Floor’ ID I have tagged
on my chest captures their notice. What? Is it a privilege to get to the 35th
floor? Deciding that I’m no match to them in any shape or form, they smile at
each other conspiratorially. They seem very secure in the knowledge that they
look like a million bucks and I look like a cowgirl who is awkward in a dress
and whatever job they’re going to perform upstairs, it’s all over their face
that I won’t qualify for it. They both sport the same ‘Visitor-35th
Floor’ IDs clipped on their very large accentuated bosoms. My heart gets
constricted, my face flushes, and I feel an odd burning sensation over my arms.
All of a sudden I feel dizzy. Are they interviewing for the same job? Will they
get a week-long trial right after I do? Why should I care who Alex... I mean
Mr. Pella should hire? It’s his company, his personal assistant position. I can
find another job. My subconscious reminds me in a small voice that this is the
job I want and maybe I do feel a tad bit jealous. I shut her up immediately.
the women stand before me intentionally blocking my way. Why would they try to
intimidate a stranger who only visited a floor they’re going up to? It doesn’t
make sense. “Mr. Pella and I’ve had an encounter, and when he left after more
than twenty four hours of very intense fucking session, he had the most
satisfied look on his face,” says the blond in a lascivious tone to the
brunette but her gaze is locked on my face as she is chewing her artificially enhanced
nothing,” says the brunette completely confident. “He must have gone easy on
you. He has fuck pads and fuck buddies all over the world. When he tied me up
and fucked me senseless I was completely exhausted in a matter of three hours,
and I can handle multiple guys at the same time. But in the end,” she says
sighing, “we were both very satisfied in multiple ways,” she ends her sentence with
a sideways glance to me as her tongue caressed her upper lip as if she just
confessed of her biggest ability.
me,” I say as I push aside the two women out of my way and they part like the
Red Sea without hiding their undisguised contempt. Why would they taunt someone
they just crossed paths with? Is it to scare the competition off for a rare
position? Is being his assistant a rare position? Tears sting behind my eyes
but I hold my back straight and keep my tears dammed in. Why the hell would I
feel this way? Why should the looks I get from two bimbos bother me this much?
Nothing anyone ever said or did bother me before. But it’s not the looks... It’s the topic...
They started talking about him right when I came out when they noticed that I
came down from his office. The pang of jealousy I feel is insanely ridiculous.
I’ve met the guy just this morning! So what if he saved me from falling off the
rock and getting a concussion or worse, dying? What if he was irrationally attractive
and paid me a little bit of attention. He’s probably going to pay more
attention to these two bimbos. I’m sure
they would be more pleasing to the eye for Mr. Pella’s clients. My heart
constricts, and aches in stabs. ‘Think happy thoughts... happy
thoughts... happy thoughts...’ I remind myself. Shit! I’ve got
Think of something else!” reminds me my subconscious, exasperated.
Something else, something else, something else... Oh, the cowboy! I remember as
I walk up to the Security desk.
returning the identification,” I say in a soft voice to the suited security
manning the desk with several monitors before him. Then I notice the engraved
cursive P on my
Visitor ID. He nods and silently takes it from me still eyeing the two rich
bimbos who just walked into the elevator.
Excuse me,” I get his attention.
is that P stands for on my visitor ID?” He looks down at the ID, and then when
he looks back up at me, he has a reverential look on his face. Why is he
looking at me oddly, obeisant? I almost wish him to look at me indifferently.
alerts assistants upstairs that a special guest for Mr. Pella has arrived.”
Special guest? I’m here for an interview.
about the regular 35th Floor Visitor ID? Aren’t they special?”
everyone is allowed on the 35th floor ma’am. Only those who have
business can go up. And the P is only issued to rare guests,” he says, and
mutters under his breath, “rare as a live unicorn.”
The other three security guards who were equally preoccupied with the women who
are on their way to upstairs are now staring at me with the same awed look this
one is giving me. I shake my head and walk towards the underground garage
trying to erase what I heard from the two women from my mind. But the bimbos
still have business upstairs, I think to myself. My face falls again. I have
to think of something else.
The cowboy?” my subconscious reminds me.
was that man? Shall I go back up and demand to see the him? That would be a no
go, not unless I want to get kicked out or look like a demented idiot before
the classy bimbos. Or pretend I need to use the restroom... but they must have
a restroom downstairs here. Besides, I turned in my special visitor tag. I’m
left completely and utterly curious. I feel like I just had a de ja vue! A
cowboy... Well, not a cowboy exactly but a gentleman. Finding such a man who
belongs to wild west in its heyday here, in the most modern architectural
wonder, a building more fortified than Fort Knox in the city of Los Angeles is
the most curious sight; unless of course my enigmatic, buckle my knees the
moment you see him kind of new boss has some show going on for his clients and
this cowboy is a part of it. But then he looked and acted very well educated, a
class on his own; a gentleman. I’ve never met a cowboy in my life, yet I felt
as if I’ve known this man a lifetime and just his momentary glance and greeting
gave me an avuncular feeling about him. Odd, because I just have one uncle and
this stranger isn’t it.
walk into the underground floor, preoccupied and start fumbling in my clutch to
find my car keys standing in the middle of the parking lot. I drop my clutch
and lean down to pick it up in those high heels I’m not so used to wearing.
This isn’t my day. The security vehicle patrolling the parking structure
nearly hits me as I lean down to pick my clutch up. I hear the car screeching
and coming to a halt only mere inches from me. I stand up straight immediately
with a rush of adrenaline and come face to face with the car reserved for the
security and utterly frozen in my place. My blood is coursing hot, my heart is
beating hundred miles an hour, I’m shaking violently yet I’m unable to move. The
security vehicle’s door swing open and a young, well groomed, impeccably
dressed security officer rushes to my side.
Miss, are you alright?” he asks and I vaguely notice that he left the car door
wide open. A shudder goes through my body and my hand shakes as I finally pick
my car keys from the clutch, and transfer it into my left hand still shaking.
My body is burning hot from what must be the most intense encounter I’ve had
with Alex coupled with meeting the bimbos outside the elevator and the near accident
young security officer is standing only two feet away from me and holds my arm
right above my elbow.
are you alright? Are you hurt?” he asks. I shake my head wordlessly.
this your silver Mustang?” he asks pointing at my car. I nod.
you need help getting in?” he asks helpfully. I shake my head. My body is
burning. Is it the anxiety? Adrenaline? Fear?
help you anyway,” he says concern lacing his voice. “I’m sorry,” he mutters. “I
really didn’t see you. It was the red purse that just got my attention when
you... stood up,” he says shaking his head. He presses the remote without
taking my keys from my hand and unlocks my car. Opening the door for me, he
ushers me in.
you manage from here on end? Or do you need to rest a little?” he asks
okay, thanks,” I manage to whisper a reply, and I think he gives a sigh of
relief. I move in the seat of my car, and dropping my clutch onto the passenger
seat, I attempt to insert the key into the ignition still shaking. I hold one
hand on the steering wheel to steady myself, feel the intense burn on my arms
and wrists and drop the keys to the floor of my car. I lean in sideway
awkwardly and pick the keys up, and this time still shakily I manage to insert
the key into the ignition and start my car. Music from my docked iPod automatically
comes on as the security guard closes my door still with worry in his face.Where did this song come from? It’s not one
I’ve loaded. Did one of my friends load it for me? I have heard the song
before. It’s Daughtry singing “Break the Spell.” It’s a mesmerizing song. As I
listened to it, I feel it calming me, taking me to a different place. I realize
that it defines the foreign feeling I have been feeling all day for Alex, at
“Like a moth into a flame, I'm
hypnotized and like a stone I'm paralyzed
Cause I can't look away. You find your way under my skin, in trying not to
Love you but I hate the way that I keep giving in to you like I always do no
Matter how I try, maybe could it be that you’re the part of me that's keeping
Daughtry – Break the Spell
He croons, and my head is dizzy,
my eyelids are heavy, my breathing is shallow. The last thing I hear as my head
falls onto my steering wheel is, “How am I supposed to break this
spell you've got me under I'm so addicted to the pain.” Not again, not in broad daylight! And
I pass out unable to have control over my body and sleep claims me plunging me
into my recurring nightmare. The nightmare that leaves me lifeless in such a way
that I try almost anything to feel alive here and now. I force my eyes to
remain open to no avail, and I plunge into the darkness in daylight
hours for a second time.
I peek outside the window
waiting for my husband to return in the drawing room. It’s a dark starless
night, but I can still make out the stone walkway winding down to the stables a
couple of miles down the road. Our two year old twins, Agnes and Jill are
sleeping upstairs. I walk to my bookshelf and pick up a book to read while I
wait for Alexander to return from the stables. I have an uneasy feeling inside
constricting me and I can’t get over it. All the help, including the nanny are
away tonight. But I only care about Alexander’s absence.The foreman woke us up in the middle of the
night and they took off to the stables because both Boreas and her nearly two
year old colt Zephyr were restless and kicking and jumping and whinnying
relentlessly for hours. Alexander took off with Buck Whitman to go see what was
bothering my most prized possession of horses. Everything I finally notice, including
the house is eerily silent, like death is descending over it. A shiver runs
through my body as if someone just stepped over my grave and I force myself to
sit down on the chaise lounge and read the book in my hand without even looking
at the title.
“Move Elissa!” I hear a distant voice. Odd...
I look up. Though the tone of the voice suggests that he’s shouting, it still
sounded like a whisper to my ears. I look up, and see no one. Just the dim light
on top of the small tea table I have by my chaise. No sounds other than my
increased heart beats and the chiming of the grand clock we bought in an
auction in Paris last year. Surely, I must have imagined it. I shake my head as
if to shake the nervousness away, and lower my gaze back to Socrates’ words in
the book I’m holding.
up and mooove!”
says the same voice in a louder and a more forceful, determined tone. “What are
you waiting for? Mooove!
heard it loud and clear this time in its intended intensity and pitch. Why am I
moving? Where am I moving? I look around and see no one.
It’s then the acrid smell of
fire reaches my nostrils with a sudden, suffocating intensity makes me realize why I have to get moving. I drop the book
onto the floor, and jump to my feet full speed running, making my way to the
huge winding staircase climbing them three at a time while screaming, “Agnes!
Jill!” and I trip on my long nightgown. The smoke is reaching my nostrils
forcefully now, filling my lungs and burning my eyes. I pull myself to a
crawling positing and climb up while holding onto the wrought iron banisters. I
peek a glance around to see the fire. Perhaps get an idea what might have
caused it. What I see utterly shocks me; the fire looks like plasma as if it
has a body, surrounding, imploding, and suffocating. It encroaches with an
all-consuming hell into the corners of the Four Winds, our house, with intent to
extinguish all life within.
“Alexander! Help!” I find myself
crying out between coughs. Agony is growing in me as I hear my twins’ fearful
cries. All I can think is to save my babies. They have to live! I’ll gladly
burn alive as long as they survive. “Please God! Help me to get them out!
Please!” I beg as I inch my way up the stairs. I manage to take my robe off and
wrap it around my head to ease my breathing. All I can think is to get to the
nursery, and it feels miles away. The house is built of stone mostly. It
should hold and slow the fire, but this is little consolation, because it seems
to be consuming, spreading like the five rivers of Hades!
I can’t move further in the
hallway. I’m blocked.
“Elissa!” I hear Alexander’s
agonized voice calling my name, giving me relief. The only voice I’ve longed to
hear all evening. My love is here!
“Alexander! I’m here!”
Agnes and Jill’s cries are now
louder, fearful, and choked in fact. “Mommy’s coming!” I shout determined, but
I’m unable to inch forward, blocked by something I can’t see.
“Alexander! I can’t move! Get
the girls! Please!” I beg in a shaky voice, fear gripping me. I should feel hot
in this heat, but I feel chill rising from my fingertips, spreading through my
body. I have to rub my hands to warm them up; my breath comes out foggy like a
snowy winter day. My body is shaking and shivering; I barely notice the faint
blue aura that is surrounding my body, making me think of the blue of the near
dawn sky. I have an ominous feeling that I will never see that color, or any
other color of sky again. Something is ending tonight and I feel terribly cold.
“Get moving Elissa! I’m coming
to get you!” I hear his commanding voice like a lifeline preserving me, giving
me a boost of adrenaline, a will to hold onto life. I feel focused immediately.
“Alexander! I can’t make it. I’m
blocked out!” I cry. I have no idea what’s blocking my way. It’s invisible!
“You have to! Run, Elissa! Run!
Listen to my voice, angel!” he orders determined sounding much closer to me.
Then I see him. My eyes search for the twins. He reaches down and grabs my
hand, pulling me up firmly commanding me, “let’s go!” My body rises up on my
feet with his strength and as I lurch forward with his pull, I slam into that
ethereal wall, and fall backwards feeling worse than being punched by his full
strength. We look at each other in horror. But Alexander collects himself, and
looks for a solution. I hear bells tolling faintly in the distance, calling for
all help which I know will be little use. No one can get into the Four
unless they work on the ranch. I have to make Alexander take the girls out, and
save my family. I have to force him. He won’t leave if I don’t and I’ll lose
everyone I love. I will have to break the heart of the only man I ever loved
“You’ve got to get the kids out!
I have to…find
another way” I manage
to say but a booming voice reverberates, interrupting me:
What? My face falls, and my cold
fingers reach up to my hair in despair, knotting. I let out a shaky breath
before I face my husband again. I have to be strong, for him, for us. But, I
know in my heart that this is the end for me. I close my eyes with the
acceptance of the inevitability of what’s to come. I turn around to look at the
face of of my husband, my only love, unable to speak.
“For the love of everything
holy, what is it Elissa?” he begs after seeing my face, fear gripping his tone.
know. Something is coming. For me... For us! Alexander, call out to Zephyr!
He’ll take all of you out,” I say with a clear certainty.
Not without you!” He reaches in finally able to touch my hand, and tugs at my
arm resolutely but we are slowly being pulled apart by the gradually thickening
ethereal wall. It separates our hands with ease as if pulling a knife out of
butter. Horror is written all over Alexander’s face. He kicks the invisible
wall but nothing budges. He looks for a place to grasp, something to get him
through to reach me, his eyes scanning rapidly for a way to get him to my side of the
wall. There is nothing! Frustration, anger coupled with the cries from our
twins bundled on the floor asking for mommy rips into my soul, and finally breaks
my control driven husband.
fists his hand and he punches and punches and punches at the invisible wall,
his eyes wild like a mad man, lost in anger, desperation, until blood starts
oozing from his split knuckles marking the invisible wall with his seeping and
splattered blood where his fists had landed as if staining a see through glass
window. I scream and put my hands on the wall, trying to stop my husband from
hurting himself beyond repair, trying to stop his seeping blood but I am
neither able to touch nor capture the blood or his hands to heal him, and my desperate
efforts to stop him are completely fruitless.
Alexander! No! Please!” I beg falling onto my knees, my hands splayed on the
barrier, my gaze hopeless. “I’ll have to find another way. Girls need you. Ineed you! Please!” Large string of tears
rushes down in a flood on my cheeks; tears I could no longer keep prisoned.
voice is getting closer, though it sounds as if it is behind a waterfall. And
Alexander won’t stop punching relentlessly in a vain effort to get to me. He
has to stop! He has to go, go before they get here! I know something, someone
is looking for me! The knowledge of it is engrained in me. I just don’t know
what is after me. I have to calm myself, make him go. If I break down, so will
he! But he won’t stop punching, and as I shake like a leaf on the other side of
the thickening wall, I hear his knuckles crack, finally breaking, and his anger
slowly giving way to a soul ripping agony which kills me inside for what I have
to do to him... to us!
“Seek the Nephilims!” the voice
booms again. It’s my cue to get him going. My eyes are cloudy with the flood of
tears, my long dark hair disheveled; my sapphire eyes match the horror in his
“It has to be this way love…” I
say choking back the words. “Find me in another time, in another place. Nieto
would know what to do. This is not a barrier; it’s a…” I try to steady my
shaking voice, “it’s a wall of protection. The fire is seeking me out. For
now. If this wall comes down, we all die.”
“How do you know? How can you be
sure? There has to be a way! Please! Let’s find it, or let’s die together!” he
begs me with darkening eyes. No! He can’t die! My eyes get wide in protest and
I shake my head violently.
“No! I can’t let you die! Listen
to me baby! I don’t know how I know this, but I’m quite sure. This wall can
only hold until I’m gone. I can’t go until you go... I’m begging you Alexander!
Do it for the girls... Do it for me... I love you! I’ll always love you. Always! Now please, go! You will find
me another time... in another place.” The voice gets a lot closer.
adult Nephilim’s blood to be kept alive until sacrifice. Find her!”
I look behind me with fear, and
then turn to him. He is seeking me out!
“I’m begging you Alex, please! Go! Don’t let
me watch your death and the death of my children! Because I will have to
volunteer to be sacrificed! Please!” I beg shuddering like a leaf caught in the
freezing weather, and his heart is unable to endure any of my laments, tears pooling
in his eyes. Alexander’s entire body is shaking; he puts his battered hands over the
barrier leaving bloody handprints, and shouts at me angrily, “I can’t go! I
can’t leave you for someone else to take and harm you! No! It’s better that we
all die together. Because if you...” his chin quivers on his last word, “if you
die,” he says through gritted teeth, his words choking him like poison, “what
do Ilive for?”
worse things than death, love,” I try to convince him, “and this would
definitely be one of them. I’m sorry that responsibility of our girls’ falls on
you,” I say taking a breath and add quickly “for now, only...” and look into
his eyes with unspoken words of my indelible love for him. I finally whisper
fervently as if someone else could hear our secret, “but you’re the one who
must preserve our family intact!” I look at him with a pleading urgency. “If
you all die, Ihave nothing
to live and fight for. You willfind me at another time. Nieto is your key.
Remember the silly poem my father taught me and required me that I to recite it
every morning when I woke up and every night before I went to sleep which drove
you crazy?” I look at him expectantly. “It wasn’t just any old poem Alexander!
It had a purpose. My father knew this day was coming.”
He shakes his
head, and giving me a smile which doesn’t reach his eyes, and repeats the poem
“When the sun rises on the rings of fire,
Eagles’ wings will set afire,
That’s the time to abandon the nest,
Fly on the winds of west.”
of fire are surrounding us, seeking us out. The time is now!” I show him my
birth marks on both my arms which were oddly shaped before, but the mark on my
right wrist looks like an eagle taking flight with two stars under its wings
and my left wrist has an eagle diving head down before a burning sunset. “It’s
time to leave the nest, my love!” I say, and whisper painfully, “in different directions. You know Zephyr
is named after the western winds. He is the one to carry you away! Please,
could you go now?”
He looks at
me as if he met me for the first time. The invisible barrier is thickening as
the impending danger is getting closer. Hurt, anger, pain, and anguish wrenches
his face as if someone just ripped his heart out, and stuck it into Lake
of Fire in Hades. I’m hurting him, and it’s killing me inside!
I look at
him with a pleading desperation and mouth the words, “Please, go! Save our
“I love you!
I am yours heart, body and soul! How could I leave you?” he whispers like the
broken man he became. I broke him apart! Unspoken words pass between us as we
both finally understand that love means to make the impossible choices
sometimes. He finally holds his head up, takes a breath, and that relentless,
steel determination locks in his eyes, “you better not give up
on us! Promise me that you’ll seek us out!” his asks his voice hoarse with
I look at
him. How can I make such a promise when death is at my doorsteps?
leave if you don’t make that promise Elissa! Promise me, please!” he pleads
with me, his eyes unblinking, reddened with tears, and wide.
determination courses over my entire demeanor, and I swallow between my sobs
unable to watch his agony.
I will seek you out no matter where or when! Please go now! Tell Agnes and Jill
that mommy loves them…” I say choking on my words, “very, very much. More than
life itself! Death cannot conquer my love for you! I will love you beyond life,
beyond death... My heart, my body, my soul loves you Alexander!” Alexander wipes
his tears with the back of his smoky sleeve forcefully, and shouts without
looking backwards, “Zephyr!” then he leans down to pick up our crying daughters
off the floor.
Zephyr’s shade appears in the
haze, trotting towards them and Alexander grabs onto his mane, as his dark
blonde curls are moving as if a spring breeze is playing with them. Zephyr walks
in as if he in on the pasture taking a leisurely walk, completely at ease in
fire and smoke. His mother was bred in this fire. This is nothing for him. As
Zephyr speeds through the barriers with his precious cargo, my heart and soul
breaks apart. I hear a sizzling sound like the spilled water on camp fire
saying “she’s here master!”
booming voice responds and sounds a lot closer “do
not harm her. Yet”
says the voice amused. “Not until I get what I need from
Death is now welcome since all I
ever loved is gone and safe. Fire sizzles around me inching its way and yet
unable to reach me. Lava meeting the ocean, its fire put out.
“The half-breed is here master!
She’s protected!” sizzles the fiery voice.
“My key to heaven...” says a
positively gloating thunderous voice. “Her father’s and husband’s Achilles
heel... Elissa Cassandra. I am so pleased to meet you at last. Unfortunately it
will not be a happy circumstance for you,” he says taunting me. I can’t see his
face. The aura surrounding me is getting to be a duller shade of light blue,
He opens up his wings and the
gust of wind coming from his wings tries to push the smoke into the aura, my
fragile protection. “We can’t get to her master. Either a sinless hand must
capture her, or she must willingly surrender herself to us...” sizzles the
“Where is her Achilles heel?”
booms the voice, his wrath evident.
“Gone, master...” sizzles the
fiery voice meekly.
“Aaaaargh!” booms the dark
winged angel, and slams his fist on to my aura as if to break my shell;
vibrations his punch created runs in large waves around me. The end is near. I
close my eyes, trying to find my happy place. “This is for my love...” I
whisper, and dark wings furls around and turn back at me, “Love, is an
overestimated emotion! You are fated to suffer the anguish of love, and your
ultimate fate, death by sacrifice to open the doors for your betters! You will
not achieve immortality!
I will no longer
be Fallen once your blood is spilled or smeared!” he bellows ferociously as his size
grows five times bigger and his foot is on its way to crush me under its
enormous size, his intent clear.
I close my mind to everything,
unable to move, lying on the floor, resisting, but my heart is finally serene
knowing that all the people I love are safe and away; they won’t see me in the
moment of my death. My eyes closed I whisper, “I love you Alexander! I love you
Agnes and Jill! I’ll always love you...” I whisper.
it happens: wind ruffles my hair unexpectedly, and I feel as if someone is
yanking my body out of hell by an invisible hand, hands maybe. I scream. I hear
nothing at first, not a single noise, not a word, just darkness, the feeling of
falling through the empty space, and the wind, just the wind. I’m cut from all
my senses. Is this death? Then my senses come back to life in a rush, I hear
more screams. No physical pain, but sharp aching of my soul and utter,
excruciating sorrow piercing through my heart. This is worse than death, worse
than nothingness. Then I feel being pulled in a wind tunnel. Wind all around,
whipping, rustling, gentle, lulling. The pain of loss is dulling, but ache is
still piercing, emanating like electric shock, and ripping my soul into small
shreds. The face of an old Pueblo man emerges with bottomless eyes, and deep
wrinkles. Do I know him? I think I know him. One feather hung from the left
braid of his hair. The eyes which have seen too many years are marked with deep
lines. And from his ears dangle what looks like two earrings too heavy for his
ears to carry. I can see it all in this windy haze. His too thin lips are
tightly closed. His slanted nose must have been broken a long time ago, and
didn’t heal correctly. His Pueblo headband wrapped around the crown of his head
twice tied in a tight knot on the left side of his head. A faded poncho is
covering his torso and whipping quickly in the wind. Then he opens his thin
lips and speaks to me in a sad melodic voice.
is the best I can manage to do Elissa, daughter of Marcus. May the seeds of
your memory blossom at the right time...” he says in that lilting voice, and
presses something into my skin under my arm at the base of my right breast as
he floats me further in the tunnel made of wind.
is as close to your heart and soul I can get without damaging your past... May
you find your way home child of Marcus, wife of Alexander Aurelius, mother of
Agnes and Jill. Hear my last words, and wake up to a new beginning... Hear my
last words and forget the past and remain shadowed away from the Fallen
Angels... Hear my last words and don’t...give...up...on...love...” he says in an
old language, and pushes me forward with such a force that I’m sucked into a cyclone
like energy, and finally nothingness...
Ellie! Wake up!” Someone shakes me with concern.
“Should we call a doctor sir?”
asks the concerned male voice.
“The doctor is already here!” snaps
a dominant male voice sternly.
“My apologies, sir,” replies the
“Is the security waiting
outside?” asks the commanding voice.
“Yes, he is, sir,” replies the
first voice in a soft tone as if to not to wake me.
“He can’t leave until he gives
me a full report of what happened!” orders the dominant voice. “Make sure he
remains!” he commands with an unmistakable scorn.
sir,” replies the soft voice then I hear scuttling footsteps distancing towards
the door. When the footsteps cease, I don’t hear a door open and close. The
dominant male voice gentles, and speaks to me softly; his words caressing my
name, as strong arms are gently rock me in an assuaging rhythm.
Duncan? Ellie? Wake up... You’re alright. You just passed out in your car. Wake
up.” A hand is slowly, soothingly rubbing my hair. I feel everything, and I
hear him, but why can’t I open my eyes?
“Doc?” his voice asks concerned.
“She’ll come to herself in a few
minutes. She must have had a shock. The security said she had a near accident.
He was merely inches away from hitting her. He claims that he didn’t see her,
and he said she was pretty shaken when he managed to stop his car...” says a
gentle but authoritative voice.
How could he not see a woman walking in a huge parking lot? What was he looking
claims that she bent down to pick her purse up which was why he didn’t see her
as he was going up on a slope. But he stated that soon after he helped the
young lady into her car, she passed out. He said he tried to wake her up seeing
her fainted, but she wouldn’t wake up which is very common with shock. That’s
when he radioed for help. She must have had a hard week, and possibly the near
miss was the last drop overflowing her cup.”
feel a shudder go through her body, shivering me. “Will she be alright?” he
course. It’s just the way the body copes with shock, Alex. It’s a physiological
response. Our bodies are used to dealing with events at a slower rate where it
can control the response. When something traumatic happens, the brain cannot
comprehend what’s happening because it happens so rapidly, and being nearly hit
by a car will do that to you. Her body simple pulled all the blood into her center
as a protective and defensive measure away from the extremities. Her brain
temporarily shut down.”
she hot and cold at the same time,” says the concerned voice.
hypothalamus gland regulates the body temperature. When the brain shuts down, so
does the gland. Nothing to worry about...” he says, but I hear the worry in the
doctor’s voice. I try to move my fingers. Tips of my fingers manage to move.
should better lay her down. I think she’s coming to her senses now, and my work
here is done,” says the Doctor’s voice.
you sure Hen...” the dominant voice falters as he’s interrupted.
sure. I examined her,” replies the doctor, sternly. I feel being laid on a
leather surface. A soft moan escapes my lips.
are you hurt?” asks his concern laden voice.
I manage to groan in a gruff voice, barely able to crack my eyes open, feeling
like I had the biggest hangover ever. I know that, because my two best friends took
me to Tijuana for my 18th birthday and the drinking binge we had
together gave me the same pounding headache, sick feeling, making me dizzy and
light headed, with a dry, parched throat. I try to swing my leg down to sit up,
but I immediately feel out of balance, my stomach ache, my heart races and my
eyes burn, and give me a headache when I try to open them; I instantly close
them. Voices are amplified in my head. I feel feverish; especially my arms feel
shouldn’t try to sit up Miss Duncan!”A
voice orders, and I recognize it to be Alex’s... Mr. Pella’s voice.
I don’t know what came over me,” I murmur.
assured, I will deal with the security for nearly hitting you and putting you
in shock,” his voice murmurs in a low but clearly audible tone.
equally guilty; I should have paid attention,” I reply. “I feel okay now, I
should get going,” I add.
don’t think you’re up to driving two hours Miss Duncan. I will have someone
drive you to your home.”
I protest, but then my head betrays me as my own voice pounds my head like a
club and I end up holding my head between my hands.
as I thought! I don’t want to be the cause of my new assistant’s injury before
she starts working for me,” he counters in a caressing, sensual tone having
recovered his equilibrium.
assistant on trial...” I correct him with a low murmur, my eyes closed. Somehow
I feel him smirk at me.
will drive you home, and he will also pick you up.”
I protest, but he cuts me.
told you earlier Miss Duncan. If I intend to keep a good employee for a long
time, then I do whatever is in my power to secure that employee’s well-being
for his or her maximum productivity,” he says in his self-assured tone.
kind of you,” I reply in an acerbic tone, my hand still holding my pounding
head, my eyes closed. I think he’s smiling at me response, but I can’t see him.
Even my eyes closed I can feel his magnetism. His pull. He must have moved
closer to me because I feel his breath near my ear.
you wish to stay? The Doctor said that you need some rest. I can...” his voice
trails off, “I can take you to my apartment in town, and make sure you get some
care,” he says as each word is gentle, and soft.I turn my head in his direction slowly. He’s
sitting near me, but not crowding me. His gaze is laced with concern; he looks
anxious. His hands are on his lap, splayed open.
wouldn’t be appropriate for me to stay with my prospective new boss,” I reply
in a soft voice, though internally I kick myself. How can I desire a man I’ve
just met so desperately, so voraciously?
have a house... I can go there while you’re in my apartment. That way, you
won’t feel crowded with my presence and I can have someone to provide care for
you for the duration of the night. Please... You’ve just passed out in my
building right after one of my security guards nearly hit you with my company
worry Mr. Pella... I’m not planning to sue. Like I said, I’m equally guilty,” I
reply turning my head back to look at my lap.
wounding me, Miss Duncan. I didn’t mean to extend my courtesy because I thought
you would sue me. Although it would be within your rights to do so. I am
however, genuinely concerned of your well-being. You can call your family and
let them know where you are if that’s going to make you feel secure.”
it’s not that... I don’t want to put you out of your home, inconveniencing you,”
I stutter my answer looking up at him again.
he says smiling as he showcases his gorgeous teeth marking his kissable mouth
and slightly leaning in but never touching, “I have a couple of spare
guestrooms in my apartment. You are more than welcome use one of them...
tonight. Do you wish me to stay in my apartment, Ellie?” he asks in the most
seductive tone. My heart is pounding in my ears. Is it his proximity or my
earlier experience? I swallow. My lips part and I slowly exhale. My body gets
hotter, and I press my knees together to suppress a foreign urge I never had
before. Other than the small glint in his eyes, he doesn’t give me any other
indication of his thoughts.
your apartment. I couldn’t put you out... Do you make a habit of letting your
employees stay with you?”
never,” he replies decidedly and firmly looking at me with his piercing eyes.
“However, my close security detail as well as my personal assistant must know
both my apartment and my home in and out as you may be required to work around
the clock sometimes. Part of the job...” he says shrugging as if he has this
discussion every day. “But, tonight, you would just. Be. A. Guest...” he adds
I reply disappointed. Of course... Part of the job... I wonder if the Busty One
and Two had spent the night as guests in his apartment. From the bits and
pieces of their conversation I’ve heard, they probably spent the night as
super-duper special guests, and mostly making love through the night. Oddly,
jealousy burns me inside, and I close my eyes tightly, my face has a pained
are you hurting?” he says in a low voice his hands immediately holding my
shoulders trying to decipher my facial expression. The connection jolts me,
making me shudder, puts me in full awareness of his presence. When I turn my
head, I’m face to face with him, and all I can focus on is his chiseled mouth.
I force myself to look up to his eyes, and they are concern laced, and somehow
so familiar. His dark blue gaze is focused on my face, on my reaction. His hair
is dark and wavy and cut short. I almost wish that his hair was longer. Long
enough for me to run my fingers through. I feel a blush creep up on my face
with my wayward thought and I close my eyes.
What’s wrong?” he asks as one of his hands gently runs on my cheek. This soft,
sensual touch awakens feelings in me I didn’t know existed, clenching muscles
inside me I have never utilized, and I find myself leaning into his soft
caresses. The feeling is so new, so enticing, so captivating, yet oddly and
distantly familiar. Can I work for this man when I feel this intense attraction
for him? Every time he has female company I’m going to feel jealous and I have
no right to! What if he has a girlfriend or preapproved female companions?
Considering even the employees he chooses to work for him has to be screened
before they even get an interview, who is to say he doesn’t have an entire
department dedicated approving their body proportions and sexual skills before
they can occupy his bed. Oh, shit! I groan in pain. Immediately both his hands
are gently on my face pushing my hair back, examining me. When I open my eyes,
we’re only inches apart. I swallow hard. His gaze is intense, probing; some
hidden pain is barely evident in that burning gaze of his.
Please, talk to me,” his voice is urgent.
I croak. His relief is evident with that single word. Corner of his kissable
mouth twitches into a half smile.
you alright? How do you feel?” he asks without blinking, or taking away his
intense gaze from my face. I nod my head.
should go. I have to pack. If I stay, I won’t have anything to take with me,
and I’m sure you wouldn’t want a less than presentable personal assistant.”
you’re not well. I can’t take a chance of my new assistant having an accident
on the way home because I let you go. Clothing articles can be purchased
here...” he says. But I know the grand total in my bank account; I can’t even
afford a pair of boots. And his heady, intoxicating proximity is not letting me
make a coherent decision. I lower my eyes. I don’t want him to see the depths
of my desire for him.
alright, really... Since I’m going to be moving to LA, I shouldn’t add extra
expenses when I already have those items. I have to be careful with my finances
Mr. Pella. After all, you’re only giving me a week’s trial, and you could
easily say no at the end of the week...” and he opens his mouth to say
something, but I interrupt.
you say, you pay for your close security’s and assistants’ required clothing,
I’d like to express that I don’t want to be beholden to my new boss...” I say,
then amending, I add, “new boss pending the trial week, I mean.” A ghost of a
smile creeps up his lips. His hands slowly fall onto his own laps making me
feel bereft and longing, and his right index finger and thumb go up to his
face, absently caress his bottom lip as if he’s contemplating. What if he’s
thinking I’m too much trouble to hire? This unfamiliar desire in me for him is
almost unbearable, excessive, urgent, overwhelming and even turbulent. Is this
healthy, or even normal? But I never wanted anything normal, or ordinary. I
love the intensity of life. In one hand I don’t want to be in the same house
with a biological mother who dislikes me, a mother who is overwhelmingly
selfish to the point of wanting to get me locked up to manage my upcoming
inheritance leaving me wanting to be far, far away from her. In the other hand
the I am looking at this insanely, angelically beautiful specimen, a man whose
one sideway glance, a single touch, even single step he takes towards me
screams sexual intensity, sensuality, and rapacious craving. Can I even live
with it if I see him sparing the touch, the glance, the step for someone else?
This is not good at all. I’ve met him less than twenty-four hours ago. I’ll be
mess at the end of the week. But then, I think I will learn to not to be so
numb to life. I decide that I want the intensity, even if he has girlfriends in
Duncan, you would not be beholden to me in any shape or form. I’m the one who
is asking you to stay. It is but a small price to pay for the peace of mind and
assure your safety.”
you but, I can’t accept it...” I respond in a small voice. But he’s not giving
about a compromise then... Anthony drives you to Montecito, you pack, say
goodbye to your family for the week and he drives you back to LA today.”
I ask. Clearly this is less than articulate for a woman who speaks four
languages fluently. But I don’t understand what sort of compromise this is. I
don’t know if he heard me; if he did, he manages ignores my remark without any
acknowledgement and continues.
way, you’re not beholden to me, and you can start acquainting yourself with my
apartment or home since you will have to if you are working for me. As part of
your job, you are required to be at hand at a moment’s notice in either
location as well as here, or any other place I may require you to. You start
your trial today. That’s the compromise I’m offering you,” he explains his gaze
unwavering and penetrating through me but with utmost professionalism, with
ease in his demands, and a slight tinge of arrogance of a man who is used to
getting his way at all times.
you’re staying, or okay you start working today?” he asks in a tightly reined
control, but some hidden worry causes a slight slip on his carefully donned
mask showing me what a troubled soul he is. The gaze he gives me has immense
power with a voracious hunger, a relentless demand to get his way and an
absolute control of his orderly world. Any fool can see that he’s a dangerous
man; but oddly, every nerve on my body screams that the danger is not to me,
that he will keep me safe.
start working today,” I reply simply to this man I feel I can’t or I don’t wish
to say no. He takes his smart phone out of his pocket, and speed dials someone.
Without breaking his gaze from me, he speaks into the speaker.
you are driving Ms. Duncan to Montecito, and driving her back with her packed
luggage,” he says, and listens a response.
the next 10 minutes,” he replies, and he hangs up.
Pella, since I’m going to be working for your, at least all next week, is there
anyone I need to acquaint myself with? Your other staff, family members, wife,
girlfriend?” I ask nonchalantly, or at least I hope it’s nonchalant. My
question is unexpected and a bright glint comes to his eyes as his breath
hitches. My question takes him by surprise.
will meet my immediate staff and security detail soon. Tomorrow perhaps... My
family members,” he says and there’s a tinge of pain in his carefully uttered
words, “are either dead, or we’ve lost touch. There are no women I care enough
to acquaint you with.”
do I say to this answer? His family members are either dead or he lost touch
with them. That’s really sad. I’ve no one to call family except my uncle and my
nanny. Sarah doesn’t count. Would this be a bad time to mention the Busty One,
and Busty Two I met downstairs?
uhm... I’ve met two ladies downstairs after my interview with you, and I
couldn’t help but hear their rather brazen conversation. They were indicating
to each other that both of them were well acquainted with you in more ways than
one. I thought maybe one of them might be your girlfriend,” I say shrugging. He
cocks his head to one side, lowers himself to connect with my gaze. His stare
has fire in them, hot, demanding, and inquisitive.
will find many other women talking about me. Just part of the façade. I haven’t
had anyone worthy of introduction in a very... very...very long time,” he says
does that mean? He just fucks them and leaves them? Do I want to find out? Who
was the last woman he cared about very very very long time ago?
a knock on his door, and without an answer, a tall, muscular man with a
military precision enters into the office.
Pella. I’m ready to drive Miss Duncan to Montecito. In her vehicle or one of
ours sir?” he asks, and nods in my direction in greeting.
of ours,” he replies. It’d be easier to carry her luggage.
you’re ready Miss Duncan, I shall drive you,” he says turning to me, and I get
see you this evening Miss Duncan,” says Alex with a threat, or promise in his
voice. My breath hitches, my gaze is on him unable to look away. Why can’t I
control my reaction in his sensual and electrifying proximity? I take his
extended hand and shake it, and let the jolt go through my body, a welcome
reaction now. When I pull my hand away, Antony is holding the door open for me.
Alex follows us out; a silent conversation goes through between the two.
the feeling of de ja vue sweeps me up again.
tonight...” his words hang in the air, a promise and a threat.
I nod and Anthony and I enter into the elevator car, leaving Alex intensely
gazing at the closing doors.