Why didn’t you warn me?
they read novels that tell them of these tricks…
“Grey…” she sounds off key, “why did youuu,” *hiccups* “send me the books?”
I immediately feel concerned. I get in a protective mode because she’s not well. There is definitely something’s wrong with her!
“Anastasia, have you been drinking?” I ask incredulous.
“Just curious. Tell me, where are you?”
She giggles, actually giggles. “In a bar!” she gushes.
“How will you get home Ana?”
“Don’t know,” hiccups, “I’ll find a way”.
“Why the hell did you send me Tess of the D.. Durb… D’Urbervilles books Christian?”
“oh so far away from… from.. where you are. Yeah, from Seattle.”
“Ana, please.. Where are you?”
“I need you to track Anastasia Steele’s cell phone. Find out her location! Now!”
As if on cue Anastasia doubles over and hurls the contents of her stomach on the concrete patio splashing the fucker who jumps back muttering something in Spanish. She’s barely able to stand up. I rush to steady her head while holding her hair back. I pull her to the flower bed where she can do less splashing while clearing out the content of her stomach in the relative darkness.
“What are you sorry for Anastasia?” I ask. This better be good.
“Better than I deserve,” she whispers shyly, then looks up at me with her bright blue eyes. As I take the towel off my neck she gazes at me intently and asks “How did I get here?”
I go to the edge of the bed and sit. I’m close enough to touch her, but I won’t. I don’t want to tell her that I wanted to gaze at her all night trying to decide if she’s what I want. I opt for a lighter explanation.
“Yes,” I say with my poker face.
“And undressed me?” she says in a barely audible whisper chewing that lip again.
“Yes,” gazing at her lips.
She turns red as recognition goes through her face. That’s right. I’m very straight!
“You slept next to me?”
“You sound like a courtly knight,” she says. Her incorrect observation throws me off, and brings me back to my worries. How little you know me. There’s nothing light about me baby. It’s all dark and fucked up.
“Anastasia, there’s nothing light about me,” I say, “maybe a dark knight.” She looks disbelieving. I give her a bitter smile. It’s too early to talk about my dark soul, or the lack of it thereof. I change the subject.
“Anastasia, that was why you got violently ill last night! You must always eat, especially if you intend to drink!” I scold her exasperated. She flinches back, but replies.
“Will you keep scolding me this morning?”
“Am I scolding you?”
Good, I think my palms are twitching. “Be glad that’s all I’m doing. Had you been mine, you wouldn’t be able to sit on your behind for a week after what you did yesterday!”
She lowers her gaze again chagrined. “Jose is my friend, he wouldn’t have hurt me. Maybe he just got out of line with too much to drink.”
“Maybe he should be thought some manners!” I barely contain myself. Maybe I should teach him a lesson he’s never going to forget! She looks up at me and locks her gaze with me.
“I didn’t see the hair dryer,” she mutters. I narrow my eyes. She’s not mine… She’s not mine… She’s not mine… I chide myself. Not yet.. But I’d like her to be.
“I can afford them Anastasia! You don’t need to pay for them,” I say to this stubborn beautiful girl before me.
“I know you can Christian. That’s not the point. I’d feel better if I did, that’s all,” she looks at her fingers as if some answers are written on them. She then raises her gaze at me and asks, “why did you give me those books Christian?”
I feel I owe her the protection from my fifty shades of fuckeduppedness; I don’t want to see her hurt. She’s too innocent. Like none I’ve met, and I’ve met quite a few. I close my eyes again.
“Anastasia you don’t know what you’re asking for!”
“How about tomorrow?” I ask leaning forward.
“Yes, someplace in Pike Market District.” I smile pleased. She’s going to be very close to me.
“I’ve applied for internships and I’m waiting to hear from them.”
“No, I haven’t,” she stutters.
“What’s the matter with my company?” I think out loud.
“Are you smirking at me Anastasia?” I ask her wanton. She catches her breath and bites her lip. I just take it anymore, “God! I like to bite that lip!” I growl. Her mouth opens as she gasps with desire, squirming. I like her response. I bet she’s wet all the way. The thought makes me desirous but not as much as what she challenges me to do next, “Why don’t you then?”
I make up my mind. I can’t stay away from her, but she still needs to know my terms. “Because I will not touch you until I have your written consent Anastasia,” I say smiling.
She used my toothbrush as her mouth tasted minty fresh, and she smiled in the affirmative when I asked her about it. She’s one of a kind. We exit the hotel. I’m putty in her hands. Only if she knew. All of a sudden I feel elated with her next to me. I am only 27, and for the first time with Anastasia, I feel young. We are young! (←We are young by Fun ft Janelle Monae)