Chapter XX ← Christian and Anastasia FanFiction

END OF A PUNISHMENT

CHAPTER XX

In one instant, I withdraw my fingers, unzip my fly, and push her down onto the couch; me on top of her. (← I Set Fire to the Rain by Adele)

“Hands on your head,” I command through gritted teeth as I’m full of desire. I force her legs wide, and reaching inside my jacket’s pocket I take out a condom packet, still gazing down at her with a dark, salacious expression. I shrug my jacket off which falls to the floor. I roll the condom on my length.

I then place her hands on her head. She’s so full of desire for me, her eyes won’t leave me for one second, and once I’m ready to take her, she raises her hips up to meet my length in a gesture of welcome, and take in rough and hard. She too is anticipating. But she’s not allowed to come. With one swift thrust, I’m completely inside her making her groan, and she's pleased to have me in her. I put my hands on hers over her head, my legs are pinning her down. I trap her under me; I’m everywhere, taking her, consuming her, and it’s not enough. I want her badly to point of pain. I move quickly and furiously inside her, my breathing is hard at her ear, with her body responding, welcoming, desiring, and reveling in the feeling. She’s meeting me thrust for thrust, in synchronization, a perfect harmony. I feel triumphant for my conquest, and I ramp up my speed, and ram into her once more finding my release, I still as I breathe through my teeth. I relax only for a minute, inside her, my weight supported by her under me. But I can feel her trying to wiggle, and shift so she too can reach a climax, but I won’t let her. I want her frustrated as she frustrates me by not talking to me, by denying me what is mine, and by making me crave her day and night.

I pull out of her instants while she looks at me with an aching hunger for me. I glare down at her.

“Don’t touch yourself. I want you frustrated. That’s what you do to me by not talking to me, by denying me what’s mine,” I hiss, my eyes are blazing as anger is rising in me again.  She nods in response. I stand up, and remove the condom, and tie the end of it. My eyes are on her. She gazes at me, her breathing is still erratic as she has not found her release, and frustrated; she squeezes her thighs together, without a relief. I zip my fly up, run my hand through my hair, and pick my jacket up off the floor. When I turn back to gaze down at her, I am feeling so much better, and seeing her softens my expression.

“We’d better get back to the house,” I say as she sits up, trying to find her equilibrium.

I hand her the underwear that’s been occupying my pocket. “Here. You may put these on,” I say, knowing she earned it back. She takes it solemnly, and puts it on. In that instant, we hear, “CHRISTIAN!” It’s Mia shouting my name from downstairs.

I turn and look at Anastasia with raised eyebrows, irritated with my sister.

“Just in time. Christ! She can be really irritating.”

Anastasia scowls back at me, trying to fix her panties, her dress, and smooth her just-fucked hair. Once she’s in order, “Up here, Mia,” I call to her.

“Well, Miss Steele, I feel better for that, but I still want to spank you,” I say softly.

“I don’t believe I deserve it Mr. Grey, especially after tolerating your unprovoked attack,” she says wounding me.

“Unprovoked? You kissed me!” I say upset, looking wounded. She purses her lips.

“It’s only because an attack is the best form of defense,” she whispers fervently with wide eyes. 

“Defense against what pray tell?” I ask incredulous.

“You and your twitchy palm,” she responds with her smart mouth. Cocking my head to one side I smile at her finally as Mia comes up the stairs.

“But was it tolerable?” I ask softly. She flushes in response, “Barely,” she whispers.

“Oh, there you are!” Mia says beaming at us.

“I was showing Anastasia around, I say holding my hand out to Anastasia, looking at her with intense eyes. Anastasia puts her hand into my extended one, and I give it a soft squeeze, and the jolt that comes with our connection starts flowing.

“Kate and Elliot are about to leave. Can you believe those two? They can’t keep their hands off each other,” Mia chatters with a fake disgust in her expression and she looks at Anastasia and me.

“What have you been doing here?” she asks bluntly, ever the forward and unfiltered speaker she is, making Anastasia blush. Maybe the part of my sister’s brain that censors what she says is missing.

“I was showing Anastasia my rowing trophies,” I say without missing a beat, and not giving anything away. Then I turn to Anastasia and say, “Let’s go say goodbye to Kate and Elliot.”

I pull her gently in front of me, and soon after my sister leaves the room, I swat Anastasia’s behind who is quite surprised by my action.

“I will do it again, Anastasia, and soon,” I threaten her quietly into her ear, then pull her into my embrace, her front to my back, and I kiss her hair.

When we get back to the house both Kate and Elliot are saying their goodbyes to my parents. Kate hugs Anastasia hard while I shake my brother’s hand. They whisper fervently to each other in secret. After their send off, I turn to Anastasia and tell her, “We should go too. You have two interviews tomorrow.”

My sister of course hugs Anastasia tightly as we say our goodbyes. To top the embarrassment, she says, “We thought he’d never find anyone!” Have a little confidence in me! I roll my eyes at my sister as Anastasia blushes again redder than the Chinese flag. She purses her lips at me for some reason.

“Take care of yourself, Ana dear,” my mother says sweetly to Anastasia.

I’m completely taken by this attention bestowed on my woman. It’s incredible how she disarms people with little or no effort at all. It’s unfair. Everyone is beguiled and captivated by her. I grab Anastasia’s hand, and pull her to my side.

“Let’s not frighten her away or spoil her with too much affection,” I grumble.

“Christian, stop teasing” my mother scolds me. Who’s teasing? She’s already disobedient to me. She hasn't got a single obedient bone, and not good submissive, and despite all of that, she has captivated me beyond anything has every captivated me. Paying any more attention to her would be to my detriment. My mother clearly loves me - of which I feel undeserving. I’m messed up, fucked up, and not worthy of her love, but somehow she has some affection for me. I bend down kiss her awkwardly.

“Mom,” I say reverently. This is the woman who saved my life. How could I not revere her? But, yet, I feel undeserving of all she has done for me.

“Mr. Grey, goodbye and thank you,” Anastasia says extending her hand to my father who in return hugs her!

“Please call me Carrick. I do hope we see you again, very soon Ana,” he says. What is she doing to everyone and how is she doing it so easily?

After our goodbyes, I lead Anastasia to the car where Taylor has been waiting for us. He opens the door for Anastasia, and she slides back into the SUV. I briefly talk to Taylor, and ask him to put his iPod on to have some privacy when conversing with Anastasia. I get into the car beside her, and face my woman.

“Well, it seems my family likes you too,” I murmur in wonderment.

Anastasia gazes at me questioning. All of a sudden her face falls with some thought. I don’t know what she’s thinking or why she’s gotten upset all of a sudden. She looks at the road, and then turns back and gazes at me. I’m staring at her.

“What?” I ask. I want to know what’s worrying her. She is indecisive between telling me and not telling me by the way she looks at me. But she makes her decision in favor of speaking.

“I think that you felt trapped into bringing me to meet your parents,” she says in a soft voice hesitantly. “If Elliot hadn’t asked Kate, you’d have never asked me.”

I’m completely shocked by her thoughts. Had I given her any indication that I didn’t want her there? I’m shocked, and I tilt my head gaping at her.

“Anastasia, I’m delighted that you’ve met my parents. Why are you so filled with self-doubt? It never ceases to amaze me. You’re such a strong, self-contained young woman, but you have such negative thought about yourself. If I hadn’t wanted you to meet them, you wouldn’t be here. Is that how you were feeling the whole time you were there?”

She takes a shaky breath. Of course I am pleased that she’s here. She’s my woman. She’s mine in every sense of the word. I’ve introduced her as my girlfriend to others. I do want her here. Anastasia gets anxious and her eyes move to Taylor reluctantly. I shake my head, and reach for her head.

“Don’t worry about Taylor. Talk to me,” I reassure her. She shrugs.

“Yes, I thought that. And another thing, I only mentioned Georgia because Kate was talking about Barbados. I haven’t made up my mind yet,” she confesses. Knowing that makes me feel so much better. I was so worried about her wanting to run away.

“Do you want to go and see your mother?” I ask.

“Yes,” she responds genuinely. I look at her. I do like her a lot, and there is this other emotion I can’t name is tugging at my heart strings at every turn. Her absence for a few days would be beyond frustrating. I don’t know how to handle it. I want to be where she is. I make my decision and ask her:

“Can I come with you?” I ask her with sincerity in my eyes. (←Baby Please Don't Go by Chicago)

She’s shocked with my question, “What... ehm... I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she says quietly.

“Why not?” I ask hurt.

“I was hoping for a break from all this…intensity to try and think things through,” she says. I stare at her. She needs a break from me?

“Am I too intense?” I ask, to which she responds burst out laughing.

“That’s just putting it mildly!” which quirk up my lips into a smile. It’s true that I am intimidating.

“Are you laughing at me Miss Steele? I ask playfully.

“I wouldn’t dare, Mr. Grey,” she replies with mock seriousness.

“I think you dare, and I think you do laugh at me, frequently.”

“You’re quite funny” she responds.

“Funny?” I want to know what sort of funny.

“Oh yes.” She says.

“Funny peculiar or funny ha ha?”

“Oh… a lot of one and some of the other,” is her response.

“Why way round?” I probe her further.

“I’ll leave you to figure that out,” she replies I her half asleep, half-awake with a shy smile.

“I’m not sure if I can figure anything out around you, Anastasia,” I say sardonically. But I am worried that she’s trying to put a distance between the two of us, and that is worrying. She is trying to run away from me. I have to know. “What do you need to think about in Georgia?” I ask quietly.

“Us,” she whispers simply. So, my worries are not imagined. I look at her impassively, but there is a brewing worry, and anxiety inside me.

“You said you’d try,” I murmur.

“I know,” is her simple reply.

“Are you having second thoughts?” I ask completely worried, but I have to know the answer.

“Possibly,” she replies confirming my suspicions. I shift in my seat uncomfortable. That’s bad. Does she think I’m bad for her? Am I making her run away from me, because of this intense desire I have for her? I need to know.

“Why?” I ask quietly.

She stares out the window as if the escape my gaze. We’re moving along the road approaching the bridge. The darkness masks our faces, and our thoughts, but not the energy that is vibrating between us. I have to know, I am scared to death that I’ll lose her. I don’t think I can handle that.

“Why, Anastasia?” I press her for an answer.

She shrugs, as if to say ‘nothing’, but ‘nothing’ is never just ‘nothing’. It’s always ‘something’. I want to know what concerns her, what she wants, what she desires, what she isn’t getting, so I can work toward fixing it. I know I’m fucked-up. I know she wants more. I want to know what that means to her. I reach for her hand, and squeeze it.

“Talk to me Anastasia. I don’t want to lose you. This last week...” I trail off. It only was the best week of my life... Ever. It was as if I was sleeping all my life, confined in a particular mode, and she jerked me awake, brought me to life, and she became my lifeline. She doesn’t realize I can’t live without her now. I can't even bring myself up to tell her that. I'm too unworthy. 

We’re coming near the end of the bridge, and the street lamps are now intermittently lighting the dark streets. I get a glimpse of the worry in her face through the intermittent light shining onto her face.

“I still want more,” she whispers, and in goes her lip between her teeth.

“I know,” I say. “I’ll try.” She blinks up at me, and I release her hand and reach up to her face pulling her chin so I can release her bottom lip from the captivity of her teeth.

“For you Anastasia, I will try,” I say sincerely. I am completely attached to her. I can’t imagine losing her, without being with her would be like having my dark heart ripped out. Even the thought of it is like a thousand cuts, and I feel like I’m slowly bleeding into my death, suffocating in my own sorrow. 

With my declaration, she unbuckles her seat, reaches across, and climbs into my lap, taking me by complete surprise. She wraps her arms around my head, and kisses me long and hard, and I’m putty in her hands as I respond in a second. She’s completely conquered me.

“Stay with me tonight,” I breathe into her lips. “If you go away, I won’t see you all week. Please.” I beg her. I need her. A lot. Especially tonight... I can’t even begin to imagine not seeing her an entire week. Does she have any idea how difficult it is to breathe and function without her?

“Yes,” she agrees. “And I’ll try, too. I’ll sign your contract,” she blurts.

I don’t want her to do that. Not a spur of the moment decision. I gaze down at her.

“Sign after Georgia, baby. Think about it first. Think about it hard, baby.” I say wanting to give her every chance.

“I will,” she responds and we travel clinging to each other in silence for a mile or two.

“You should wear your seatbelt,” I whisper her with disapproval in my voice, but I don’t want to let her go out of my arms.

She nuzzles up against me, her nose in my throat, and I’m in heaven for the time being with her in my arms. At peace, and serene. I have strong feelings for this woman in my arms, and I can’t name them. They're too foreign, too painful at times, and too captivating. It kills me to think that she might just slip through my fingers. I close my eyes, and revel in this moment. All too soon, we reach Escala.

“We’re home,” I murmur in Anastasia’s ear. Taylor opens the door, and Anastasia thanks him shyly. When I get out of the car, I notice that Anastasia doesn’t have a jacket. Doesn’t she own one? It makes me upset that my woman’s needs are unmet. I narrow my eyes on her, she looks bewildered.

“Why don’t you have a jacket?” I ask her frowning. I shrug my own jacket off and drape it over her shoulders.

“It’s in my new car,” she replies yawning, half asleep. Her reply makes me smirk. That shows her acceptance of my gift to her, and that maybe she's slowly allowing me to take care of her.

“Tired Miss Steele?” I ask.

“Yes, Mr. Grey,” she says shyly since I’m teasing her. “I’ve been prevailed upon in ways I never thoughts possible today,” she says making me even more playful.

“Well, if you’re really unlucky Miss Steele, I may prevail upon you some more,” I promise taking her hand, and leading her into the building.

When we enter into the elevator, she gazes up at me. The energy in this small space always gets palpable, and charged with static, even if she’s half asleep.

“One day I will fuck you in this elevator, Anastasia, but right now you’re tired. So, I think we should stick to a bed,” I say. (← Tonight by Enrique Iglesias ft Lucadris) Even though the desire is exploding out of me to take her right here, right now. With my declaration, in goes her beautiful lip into the confines of her teeth. I lean down, and grasp her lip and release it from its captivity gently. I slowly suck on it making her breathing stop with excitement. She reciprocates by capturing my top lip into hers, teasing me, making me groan. Woman, I’m going to have you whether you want to be had or not! The elevator doors ding open, and I grab her hand, and pull her through the hallway.