BOOK II - CHAPTER XVII - Christian and Anastasia FanFiction

FIRE AND ICE

CHAPTER XVII

                Anxious to see Anastasia and since I haven’t been able to talk to her today as much as I would have liked to, I become nervous, and I try to finish my workout quickly. Since I met Anastasia, my mind is always occupied with her, and about her. My control freakery has taken a new dimension. (Every Breath You Take by Sting & The Police)  As I’m kicking the crap out of the free standing kickboxing dummy, Taylor is running full speed on the treadmill. That man can outrun a greyhound! He has the lifelong training and the endurance. But then he keeps up with all his Black-ops training as much as possible. He can run 10K in thirty-eight minutes, and fifty four seconds with fifty pounds of gear on his back. What impresses me about Taylor isn’t the individual physical endurance requirements from a military man such as he is, but how much he can take and still keep going. He doesn’t know when to quit. That’s something I understand; not being a quitter myself. It’s a good thing, because I don’t do with quitters.

Taylor is a loyal employee, I trust him implicitly; in fact I trust him with my life.  He has seen me in some of the most compromising positions. Not that I cared; I hired him for his skills. He’s always remained extremely professional and knew how to make himself scarce if by chance he found me paddling a strapped submissive stretched out on the breakfast table or if he has to break some urgent, can’t-wait-till-Grey-finished-his-fucking kind of emergency, he managed to keep a straight face, and break the connection – no pun intended; though his eyes were anywhere but on me, and still came in and distracted me from the task at hand. I didn’t care how he interrupted me, or with whom, but game has changed since Anastasia has been in my life. I don’t want anyone seeing her naked, or in the throes of ecstasy; that’s for my eyes only. (For Your Eyes Only)

I made it abundantly clear to Taylor that when Anastasia and I are in our privacy, he’s not to disturb me, or if he has to do it, he must do it via other means. He’s not allowed to see her naked under any circumstances. I must have loved Anastasia since I first met her, because I never imposed that rule on Taylor before. Ever! Anastasia is the first girl I held hands with. She wouldn’t know that, because I never told her. Physical touch is something I avoided at all cost. Anastasia’s always been so precious to me. No matter how kinky, how raw, and carnal our fuckery got; it’s always been making love with Anastasia. I only fucked in the past. I never felt an emotional connection with any woman. It was abhorrent to me. I never pursued someone who wasn’t in this Dominant / Submissive lifestyle. I didn’t care to teach anyone. I expected all the subs to know what they were doing, and I required them to have endurance with the amount of kinky shit I wanted to do with them, and to them. Weaklings or a sub who had fifteen minutes of whipping and calling ‘red’ wouldn’t be for me! She’d be out the door the second I unbuckled her handcuffs with her clothes in her hand.  Yet, I don’t care that Anastasia hates the whipping and the extreme shit I used to enjoy. I wanted to do those to Anastasia, and enjoy it with her, but the second she left me; all those feelings have gone out the window. I wanted her for more, in other ways than just kinky shit. I couldn’t breathe, and for the first time in my life, i  felt guilt for wanting to practice them on her! I disgusted myself because she hated whipping. Anastasia possess me body and soul. She’s like no one else! One of her smiles can get a man to heaven, and if she was to give me a cold shoulder, I’d move heaven and earth to change that, to get on her good graces. I can’t think of a world where she didn’t exist. I couldn’t exist! Not without her!

Even Taylor is fond of Anastasia, and if I didn’t know he was in love with Mrs. Jones, I’d be jealous, and I’d fire his ass despite the fact that he’s the best employee who works for me. Even though I know his fondness is almost the same way I feel for my sister, I still can’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy in me especially when Anastasia shows any kind of interest towards him even if that feeling is ‘avuncular’. The though makes me kick the dummy so hard, it nearly bends to the ground springing back hard several times making Taylor turn his gaze onto me impassively as he keeps running. I make my way to the treadmills, set my incline and speed before I start running. Taylor’s Blackberry must have buzzed, because he expertly slide and jump off from the treadmill when he was running top speed.

“Taylor,” he answered, and within a few seconds his eyes darts to mine. I immediately jump off the treadmill’s belt.

“Welch,” he mouths to me, and I extend my hand for the phone.

“Grey’s here. What’s up?” I say apprehensively. After Anastasia was insistent on going to New York with her boss, I tasked Welch to dig a little deeper about a certain Jack Hyde.

“Mr. Grey, I tried to reach you on your phone sir, but since you didn’t answer, I called Taylor.”

“You got me now. What have you found?” I say impatiently.

“I’ll be emailing the background to you shortly sir, but I wanted to report to you on my interviews with Mr. Hyde's former PAs. Jack Hyde has had seven assistants in the last fifteen months. Miss Steele is the eight assistant he’s had in this short time.” I cringe, but I was already aware of this information.

“Yes, I was aware of this since your initial background check. What have you found new?”

“Sir, I personally went to interview all these young ladies; I’ve manage to interview five of them and there are a few common denominators in all of them. They’re all young; in their early twenties, recent college graduate, or have been in the work force for just a couple of years. The only assistant that worked for him longest has been there for just three months. Others have worked even shorter duration. That piqued my interest, and when I went to casually interview and question them about it, none of them were forthcoming. They all have had this scripted image of Jack Hyde and the responses were nearly verbatim, sir.”

“How did you introduce yourself to them?”

“I told them that Jack Hyde was being considered for a higher position in the company, and we were looking to see if he was capable of managing a larger number of employees since he has had several assistants he didn’t keep. We didn’t want the revolving door effect in the company.  Was he hard to work with? What was most difficult thing about working for Mr. Hyde? Why did they think he has changed several assistants? Was he easy to work with?”

“Interesting. What did they say?”

“Same thing, sir. Yes, their boss was demanding; he required perfection from his assistant. But he was the best boss to work for. He was professional... It was all scripted. I asked them circular questions. If Mr. Hyde was the best boss, why didn’t they get retained by SIP? Why didn’t they get recommendations from Jack Hyde? And some of them got very uncomfortable with these two questions. Some don’t even work in publishing anymore even though they majored in literature in college. What they didn’t say, but shown in their body language was the most interesting part, sir,” he says. I am pure attention.

“What have you discovered?” I say silently, almost menacingly.

“Sir, I got the ‘fight-or-flight’ reaction. Stressed. All five of them have gotten a taut smile when they said their boss was a wonderful man, eyes dilated; the foot on both gas and the brake response sir.”

“Explain,” I say.

“Well sir, if it was just foot on gas response, they would have only become angry or agitated. That’s the heated, overly emotional, keyed up and unable to sit still kind of response. And then there’s foot on brake response when the responder gets withdrawn. They shut down or space out, or show very little emotion. But when they have both, it’s the worst kind of response. They tense and freeze up. They look paralyzed, but I could see from their gaze that they were extremely agitated. Hands fisted so hard, knuckles got white, face blanched, pupil dilated, breathing increased, closing up by arms crossed.” Then he clears throat.

“Sir, they also all had the physical signs of lying. Here is a simple question I asked: ‘What sort boss was Jake Hyde?’ The physical response from each one was identical. Each started answering the question with a difficulty swallowing and the intonation of their voices has changed. A forced smile was plastered on their faces, and their gestures didn’t match the speech.” Then I hear paper shuffling over the phone as if Welch is looking for something.

“Ah, yes,” he says, and clears his throat again as if he’s going to declare some important point. “Assistant Number 3, Victoria, had a giant frown on her face while she was telling me what a pleasure it was to work for Jack Hyde. How could it be a pleasure to work for him when her face was looking like she swallowed a nasty bug, and she was trying to regurgitate it out of her system!  Gestures are mechanical sir. The tongue may lie, but it takes a skilled actor to match the verbal response with the gestures. Cleary these girls didn’t have the practice. It was like watching a bad actor!”

I was pacing back and forth.

“Did you ask them the main question I wanted to know?” I ask in a cold, controlled voice.

“Yes sir,” he says solemnly, and the tone confirms my fears.

“And?”

“Only three of them went on a conference with Hyde, sir.” He said the word ‘conference’ like an expletive.

“What happened?”

“I’m focusing on Victoria. She’s the first one to go to one of those. ‘How was the conference? What did you and your boss do outside of the conference?’ I asked.” He stops.

“What was her response?” I ask impatiently.

“She looked distracted, as if she was trying not to pay attention to what I asked in an effort trying to forget a bad memory. She started sweating like a wrestler. It was clear that she was disturbed. The amount of sweat coming out of that tiny girl! Then she started holding her body like she’s protecting it from someone, her eyes looked bewildered. She made no direct eye contact; avoided my scrutiny; her breathing got rapid trying control herself, and the pitch of her tone got higher. Finally she managed to say, ‘what do you mean?’ ”

“That doesn’t mean she’s lying.”

“Sir, the vocal cords tighten under stress. She wasn’t shy of me. I wasn’t a threat to her. The only time these responses came were when she was giving me false information about her former boss. She started sitting hunched. She was eyeing the door as if she was going to dart any minute. Her face flushed. The final question I asked was, ‘are you being truthful about your former boss?’ The simple answer would be, ‘yes,’ or ‘of course,’ or ‘sure,’ or even just, ‘I am’. You know what they all said, ‘being deceitful is the worst thing you can do.’ Except Victoria... She said ‘lying is a dishonorable action.’ “

“Not everyone answers in one or two words, Welch. How can you conclude that this answer proves beyond the shadow of doubt that she was lying?”

“Sir, please give me a little credit. My former training included physical signs of lying. Testing 21-25 year old girls is nothing to me. I’ve interviewed government officials, politicians, spies who are trained in matching their physical responses with their verbal ones. This is a very simple task.”

“Welch, I already know the contents of your resume! What I’m asking you is simple. I want to make absolutely sure, beyond the shadow of any doubt that they were in fact lying. Can you provide evidence to that fact? How do you support your claim?” I ask in a demanding voice.

“The liar generally answers a question by depersonalizing it, in a flat voice. Most of the girls asked me to repeat the question; and that’s usually to delay her reply. Victoria asked ‘why would you ask such a thing?’ which is also designed to delay her own reply. I didn’t assess her on one answer. Individually it may mean little or nothing of course. But collective demeanor and answers speak volumes of what they are trying to hide, and they’re all hiding something.”

“Why would they cover for him?”

“My guess would be fear. They have something to lose. Mr. Hyde has something he’s holding over them. I don’t know what that is. But these girls were clearly afraid of him, though their words said otherwise.”

“Is that it?”

“So far, yes,” he replies.

“Okay, let me know if you uncover more,” I say and hang up.

I’m pacing back and forth fuming through the nostrils like a provoked bull in a bull fight. Taylor clears his throat.

“Sir, we should hit the showers and then head to SIP. I’m sure we can wait for Miss Steele there,” he says almost reading my mind. I’d rather be close to her there, than worrying here. I don’t do worry. I have to fire that fucker without getting on Anastasia’s bad side. I’ve been gathering information about him anyway and sharing it with Roach. There is enough to get him fired. The only thing that’s holding me back is Anastasia’s reaction. We’ll see. I’ll gauge her reaction tonight, and this final bit of information might tip the scale. I don’t want that fucker anywhere near my woman! He’s a womanizer. I fucking want to beat the shit out of the man! I am writhing in anger.

I turn to Taylor, “fine, showers, then we leave,” and he nods solemnly.

*****

Taylor pulls the SUV in front of the SIP. It’s in the downtown business district. One of the renovated buildings now looks brand new. Of course glass windows give an air of modernity. The U shaped entry has a large walkway with carefully boxed in landscape on both sides of the walkway, and under a long portico which is a remnant from the original building. This leads to the large glass entry which of course automatic sliding doors. When Anastasia told me she got the job here, I had Taylor scout the security here. My concern is not just the people or the fucker of a boss she works for, but also people from outside. You don’t get to be Christian Grey, and not make a few enemies on the way. I was concerned at the pitiful security in the building. There weren’t enough cameras to cover the crucial entry points, and it was quite easy for someone to walk into the building even if they had no business in there. It is something I’m going to rectify as soon as the gag order is lifted. There is an Italian deli nearby, a juice place, a souvenir shop for the tourists, and a couple of clothing stores. Of course the monorail stop is also nearby here walking distance.

We’re waiting directly in front of the building facing the double entry door walkway. I check my watch. It’s now 6:30 and she’s not out yet. Shall I go in and get her? I’ll give her five minutes before I go in. Ever since Anastasia has been back in my life, I find myself constantly worried about what she would say or think. I’m like a cat on a hot tin roof! I start counting down the time: Four minutes thirty-nine seconds... My eyes are glued to the door. Three minutes eleven seconds... No movement. I shift in my seat, and Taylor’s gaze briefly meets mine in the rearview mirror. Two minutes eight seconds, my hand is at the door. Fifty-four seconds, and the sliding doors open, and Anastasia hightails out of the building as if hellhounds are chasing her! What the hell happened? As she reaches the middle of the walkway she runs out of steam, her head lulling back as if she can’t get enough air into her body, and sinks to the concrete floor! It’s like a nightmare! My heart first stops as I remember her in her apartment when Leila was holding a gun to her, and then it starts beating a hundred miles an hour adrenaline rushing, and I spring the door open as both Taylor and I jump out of the SUV at top speed towards her! As I reach her I get on the ground to gather her in my arms, my hands and eyes are checking for some sign of hurt, blood... Oh God! What or who hurt her? Is she just overwhelmed with all the stuff from the previous day? Did she just realize that she can’t take it? Is she ill? Or did something actually happen?

“Ana, baby, what’s the matter?” I ask her fervently trying to find what is wrong with her physically. She won’t answer me! “What’s wrong Ana?” I ask in a begging tone. She’s in my lap; I hold her face to look up at me, searching. Talk to me baby! I’m dying here! Is she hurt, injured? She sags in my arms and about to pass out on me! I’m completely alarmed, and stupefied. What’s wrong with her? Don’t pass out on me, baby!

I hold her shoulders hand shake her in my arms before she gets to check out of her body. Do I need to take her to a hospital? “Baby, what’s wrong? Talk to me? Are you sick?” Her eyes are rolling back into her head as if she’s going to get nauseous. With one arm holding her back, I use my other hand to hold her head back trying to get her to look at me. “Ana, talk to me baby. What is the matter with you?” She tries to gather her focus on my face, blinks a few times as if she’s forcing herself to remain coherent. My heart is pounding in my ears, fear gripping me. I don’t know what’s wrong with my girlfriend! A million horrible fears are running through my head, none of which is pleasant. She opens her mouth, and the word “Jack,” is whispered through her lips.

My body tenses as my earlier anger amplifies and jolts me as it turns into a murderous rage. I feel that Taylor is also feeling the same. My head snaps up to look at him; when he sees the fiery hot rage in my eyes, he knows, and like a ghost he disappears into the SIP building.

My body is vibrating with pernicious, ruthless violence. What did the fucker do to Ana? Did he rape her? Did he fuck her? Did he touch her? If he harmed her in any way, I will fucking kill the bastard! As I hold her tighter in my arms I find myself rocking her to soothe her. “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Ana, tell me, what did that fucker do to you?” I am going out of my mind! The thought of that fucker inside Ana forcefully makes the bile rise in my throat, and I am barely containing myself. I have to find out! Anastasia’s reaction is one of nervous breakdown. She starts giggling. “It’s what I did to him,” she says between nervous giggles.

“Ana! Did Jack Hyde touch you?” I say in a clear and menacing tone.

“Once,” she manages to whisper, “just once.”

A madness sweeps through me. Million megawatts of electricity is too tame to describe how I’m feeling right now! My entire body tenses. The knowledge that fucking bastard touched my woman is like someone shoved a glistening ember down my throat while washing it down with nitric acid! My insides are twisted, and the wild animal I have carefully caged in my head is lose! Heads will roll for this! I will make him fuck himself with his own dick if he ever attempted to shove it into my woman!

“Where is that fucking bastard, Ana?” I ask menacingly. I hear shouting, and I can distinguish Taylor’s voice in there.

“You will never touch Miss Steele again!”

I’m going to beat the shit out of him. Now that I know Ana is physically alright, I’m going to get my due from that son of a bitch! “Ana, will you be able to stand?” I ask as I rise in one swift motion and stand her up on her feet. She nods her head in the affirmative.

“Fine,” I say turning to go into the SIP building.

“Don’t go Christian! Please, don’t,” she pleads with me scared.

“Anastasia, get in the car now,” I snap at her menacingly.

She holds onto my arm like a tick on a dog’s ear. . . “Don’t go, Christian, no!”

I yank my arm out of her hold, and stab my finger in the direction of the car and yell at her. “I said get in the God damn car, Anastasia!” Will you fucking listen to me for once!

“Christian please, don’t go! You can’t leave me here on my own!” she begs. Anger is vibrating through my entire body. I’m barely containing myself. I told her not to go to work this morning. I asked her, no, I practically begged her to stay. But, no, she had to go. I told her I’d take care of her. No, she had to go and make a living! I asked her to marry me, so I can take care of her and protect her, and love her. But, no, she is going to think. Now, she doesn’t want me to go inside! I’m one fucking time bomb ready to explode!  She’ll be the death of me! I’ll die of a heart attack before I turn 40 because I’m always worried about her, and she is constantly disobedient, doing whatever the hell she wants! Exasperation courses through me, and I run both my hands through my hair trying to get a grip, get some sort of control over my own body’s reaction.

There are screams, and yelling and loud fighting noises coming from the building, and the noise abruptly stops. I worry about Taylor, and take my Blackberry out.

“Christian, Jack Hyde got a hold of my e-mails,” she blurts out.

“What did you say?” I say with amplified menace.

“He intercepted the e-mail I sent you, and he cornered me and asked me where your messages to me were. He was using the e-mails to blackmail me.”

I’m not going to kill that mother fucker! No... I’m going to beat the crap out of him and leave him alive an inch of his life! Death is too good for him... Too swift. Too painless. I’m going to destroy him so he remembers every fucking day of his life what he tried to take away from me, and who he tried to fuck with! And, Anastasia! I am so fucking angry at you right now! I’ve told you and told you and told you to not to use your work e-mail. And she fucking didn’t listen to me! For God’s sake!  You’re taking all control away from my frigging life!

“Mother fucker!” I curse under my breath in a menacing ferocious tone. Get a grip...get a grip...get a grip. When the shaking subsides only a fraction, I press speed dial #3 for Barney.

“Grey here. Barney, you need to immediately access SIP main server, and then access the mail server and delete all of Anastasia Steele’s e-mail messages sent to me; if you find anything incoming from me to her that has been stored in the server, wipe those clean as well. I want you to also access Jack Hyde’s PC and any data he might be storing within the server. Should you find any emails stored in his personal account or anything he has access in, find them delete them, wipe them clean.”

“All of them sir?”

“Every single message. Do it immediately! And Barney, inform me the second you complete your task!”

“I’m on it sir!” he says and I hang up, immediately after I dial Roach on his personal cell phone.

“Roach here,” he answers in a professional tone laced with a little apprehension.

“This is Grey. I want you to kick Jack Hyde’s ass to the curb right this instant.”

“What? W..wh..When?” he says stumbling on his words.

“Now, damn it! I want you to call the fucking security right now, and have the fucking bastard clean his desk this moment.”

“But, Mr. Grey. You’re saying right now? What’s the cause?” Anger vibrates through my entire body, and focuses on my tongue, and I lash out.

“You have the necessary justification to kick his ass to the curb with a parting gift of a pink slip. I want you to immediately inform him of his untimely departure, or I will fucking liquidate this company by eight a.m. tomorrow morning! You have been provided the adequate justification for his termination! I trust you will do what you are asked to do!” I emphasize clearly what will happen if he doesn’t.

“Mr. Grey, of course I understand the gravity of your concern. I will call the security immediately, and have them escort Mr. Hyde out of the building with the knowledge that his services are no longer required at SIP for his unprofessional conduct.”

“Fine.” I say and hang up.

Anastasia is bewildered where she is standing, scared to her core, and shaking. She would fucking get the spanking of her life had I not made promise to myself that I would not use spanking as a punishment, and that I was scared to death with worry for her!

“Use the Blackberry!” I hiss at her anger seething through every single pore in my body.

“Christian, please don’t be angry with me,” she says in a pleading voice, but anger doesn’t even begin to cover what I’m currently feeling. Lethal rage only comes close.

“I’m beyond angry at you, I’m a raging maniac. I need you to get in the car right now,” I growl at her pointing the SUV.

“Please...” she begs, holding out her hand.

“Damn it Anastasia! I need your ass in the fucking car, or I will put you there myself and you aren’t going to like it!” I snarl with my eyes shooting daggers at her.

She holds her shaky hands up at me, worried look covering her entire face. She’s scared and not getting close to me. “Please Christian! I don’t want you to do anything stupid,” she begs.

Anger erupts from me like Mount Vesuvius. Her words are like insult to my injury! Pour salt on my open wound already, why don’t you?

“YOU WANT TO HEAR ABOUT STUPID?” I bellow with all my fury directed at her. “You’ve been told to use your fucking Blackberry numerous times. But you wouldn’t. And you dare to speak to me about stupid? I want you to get your ass in that motherfucking car right this instant Anastasia!” She stands frozen. “DO IT NOW!” I scream. She jumps with fear.

“Okay, I’ll go. But please be careful, Christian. Please,” she begs. My eyes are focused on her, my mouth in a taut line; my eyes are both fiery and glacial. I am so angry; I don’t even want to string two words together in order to prevent saying something I will regret. I only point to the SUV sharply so she just goes in!

She looks at me with pleading eyes. “Christian, I need you to be careful please. Please...” she looks at me worried. “If anything were to happen to you, I’d die. I can’t live without you,” she says knocking the breath out of me. Wasn’t that my worry? That something would happen to her, and I’d lose her... When I see my own worry, my personal demons reflected in her eyes, I find my heart slowing down, and my rage is subsiding, turning into love in the eye of the storm briefly. “I’ll be careful,” I say as I take a deep breath, and Anastasia’s mind finally registers my calmer demeanor and she opens the front passenger door, and with another worried look, enters into the SUV.

I give her a warning glance reminding her to remain in the vehicle, I run into the SIP building. I manage to cap my rage. It’s just beneath the surface ready to disperse its wrath. I dial Taylor’s phone. He answers on the first ring.

“Sir, come down the hallway to the left. You’ll find a large area. Enter into the meeting room number 2,” he says knowing exactly why I called him.

“See you there,” I say hanging up.

Taylor meets me in front of the door. He opens the door just a crack. I see that Hyde is sitting on a chair with his hands cuffed. My gaze meets Taylor’s and he closes the door.

“Security is coming; I need the keys to the handcuffs. Keep them occupied for five minutes,” I say extending my hand in a no-nonsense way to receive the keys.

Taylor scrutinizes my face trying to make sure that I won’t kill the fucker. He misses nothing. He sees anger seething through my skin. My eyes are both glacial with controlled vengeance and anger like Mount Etna and Vesuvius all bundled in one ready to kill. He slowly shifts his body to block the door. Taylor had worked for me for about four years. He’s seen me lustful. He’s seen me fucking the daylights out of one of my subs suspended from the ceiling in my playroom. He’s seen me flogging the shit out of another. He’s seen me spanking Leila with a paddle. He’s seen me in control of a whole board room of powerful businessmen. He’s seen me angry; raging mad; but always in control. He’s seen me in compromising positions. He’s seen me in these places in more times than I can count.

But a lot of the firsts I care for; being in love with Anastasia, missing her to the point of distraction, almost going out of my mind when she went to Georgia, being in despair and in grief when she left me -all these were my firsts with Anastasia, but all things that weakened me. Taylor has seen me in most every mood; but he’s never seen me in a murderous rage. The barely controlled ferocity and violence... Taylor’s hand automatically goes to the door handle and he stands in front of it, determined not to let me in.

“Is Miss Steele alright, sir?” he asks trying to distract me.

“She’s fine. Move over Taylor,” I say with a baleful threat in my voice, all the intensity of my gaze focused on him. Taylor doesn’t faze. He’s very determined   to prevent me from committing a murder tonight.

“I beat the crap out of him already,” he says, and for the first time I notice Taylor’s disheveled appearance. He has a cut above his eye, a swollen lip, and a bruised cheek. When he sees me eyeing him, “the fucker is worse off, sir,” he says smiling.

My hand still goes up to forcefully remove Taylor from the door. “Sir...” he says shyly. “I..uhm..”

“Spit it out man!”

“Well, I understand your rage perfectly, sir. I don’t know how to say this... but...” he say muttering something under his breath about some shitty educated talk, then looks me in the eyes and says, “That piece of shit ain’t worth it, sir,” he say indicating the door with his head while his hand firmly gripping the handle. He eyes me for a minute as I try to get a handle of my rage.

“I was gonna tell you that some Indian guru guy have written someplace, that hell has three gates: lust, anger and greed,” he says trying to calm me down. “I thought you’d like to know,” he says jabbing his thumb back towards outside. “I think it’d be hell for her, too, sir,” he says shrugging, halting me in my tracks for a brief second. 

“Well Taylor, in that case, I’d be conquering hell by all three gates! I still want to shove his dick into his own ass for trying to assault my girlfriend,” I hiss through my gritted teeth, seething poison. Taylor’s eyes go wide, and his stance got firmer. I sigh.

“Look, Taylor, I appreciate your concern, but if I were to kill him, I wouldn’t have called the security. They’ll be here shortly to escort him out. But I want my time with him. Wouldn’t you do the same for Gail?” I ask him, and he immediately shifts in his place. “I will destroy him in a way that he won’t screw any other woman’s life again! But I won’t put him under the ground,” I say with all my self-control trying to rein in my anger. He nods solemnly, and smiles.

“Apparently Miss Steele kicked him in the family jewels, sir,” he says proudly. I then realize that he is actually like Anastasia said; avuncular. “He was cussing up a storm holding his nut sack,” he says in an impassive tone, though his eyes are alight with some sort of joy. “Anyway, he’s all yours, sir. Take 10, I’ll keep the security busy. The fucker has been bitching, and moaning about you anyway,” he says and opens the door wide while dangling the key to the handcuffs. I grab the keys as I enter into the room.

After entering into the meeting room, close the door, and lock it behind me. Jack Hyde holds his red head up, half his red hair out of his hair tie, his earring half askew, looks up at me defiantly. A creepy smile comes up to his bloodied mouth. I don my impassive face, and cover my Mount Vesuvius with glaciers and walk behind him to undo his handcuffs.

“Your girlfriend is a gold digging, prick teasing cunt. If you didn’t have more money than I, she’d be fucking me now! Instead I’m the one who’s holding balls she kicked!” He says the second I unlock his cuffs while he’s rubbing his wrists. I grab his ponytail, pull his head back, and slam it to the wood table. You can hear the breaking of his nose, as blood gushes out of it! My eyes are so dilated I feel my capillaries breaking in my eyes; for a minute I feel I won’t be able to control my rage. My nostrils are widened, and my breathing increased, every inch of my body is standing attention, ready to fight.

“Let alone mentioning my girlfriend’s name, if you even fucking think about her, I will skin you alive!” I say with a deadly hiss. “You broke my fucking nose!” he screams then getting a hold of himself wipes the blood off his nose with the sleeve of his shirt, leans down in an attempt to pinch his nose, grunting, when he raises his head back up, he swiftly stands up, swinging a right hook and his punch connects with my torso, shaking me to my core. He moves and lands me a left hook in the ribs, and attempt to blow me another right, forcing me to take a step back to prevent falling as I sway in my stance. I realize that he has a carabineer around his knuckles and his keys are attached to it. Though his punches are unexpected, they give me another rush of adrenaline. I smile. I love a good fight!

“Finally you pick someone your own size! How many young women did you corner? Hmmm?” I taunt him.

I hear noises outside. Strong knocks on the door. I have couple of minutes to get my due.

Hyde makes his fist again, but this time the element of surprise is gone. He swing a right quickly followed by a left hook. I duck my head as he swings his left which I catch with my right grasping it tight; I hold his fist squeezing it with an iron grip, I pull and hold his arm upright. Finally, I deliver two punches to his ribs in quick succession with my left hook knocking the breath out of his lungs, and then punch him once on the side of his left cheek feeling the crunch of his cheek bone under my fist. He quickly doubles over at which time I capture him on the shoulders grasping with both my hands and knee him in the groin, and lift him up I hold his face with both hands and head-butt him. When he finally slumps, I knock him down with the back of my right elbow. That’s when the security breaks in the door.

I lean in and whisper in Hyde’s ear in a cold, slow, murderous tone.

“If you managed to do anything to her, I would have killed you. Thank your lucky stars, fucker!”

Two young security officers walk in gaping with the sight before them. Jack Hyde on the floor, and I beside him.

“He’s all yours,” I say finally able to glaze over my fury with ice.

I hoist him to his feet with one hand, and stand him up as the surprised security guards stare at us with wide eyes.

“Here... He seems to be bleeding on himself,” I say and shove Jack Hyde to the hands of the security guards to administer him some quick first aid. Then one of the security guards produces a phone to Hyde’s hand. As he listens to Roach’s voice on the phone, he realizes that he’s being handed his bag, and his fucking ass. He blanches and looks like he’s going to get very sick, very fast. The guards patch him up quickly and finally hand him his cardboard box of belongings. Both the officers manage to be all professional, and they act like they witnessed nothing which of course they didn’t.

“What did you say to them?” I ask Taylor in a quiet voice pointing to the security guards with the flick of my eyes.

“Asked them to give you a few minutes,” he murmurs in a barely audible tone.

“And they just let me have the few minutes?” I ask him with raised eyebrows interrogating him.

Taylor shrugs. “They both have girlfriends...and sisters. What can I say? Guess neither of them like a sleazebag who moves in on their own territory, sir,” he says with an impassive face.  

Jack Hyde is escorted to the doors by one of the security guards while the other one holds the fort back in the building, and clean up the mess. I see Taylor shaking hands with the security while inconspicuously passing a few large bills to his hand.

We march out of the building in a single line as Jack Hyde is leading the line stumbling his way to the waiting cab outside, and the security guard making sure he’s not coming back, then I come out  and Taylor holding the rear end of the line.

Taylor catches up with me as I reach the SUV, and I hold my hand out for the keys. Noting Anastasia in the front passenger seat, Taylor hands me the key to the SUV, and he takes his seat in the back. I’m still angry, still fuming, and not even having beaten the crap out of Hyde makes me feel better. I say nothing to Anastasia. She’s just staring at me, but doesn’t utter a word. My Blackberry having connected to the Bluetooth in the vehicle starts ringing through the car’s speaker system. I take a note of the caller.

“Grey’s here,” I answer.

“This is Barney, sir,” he answers.

“Barney, I’m in my car with other passengers and you’re on the speaker,” I say in forewarning.

“Yes, sir. About the task you’ve given me, it’s been completed. I must also speak to you about the contents of Hyde’s computer.”

“I’ll call you as soon as I arrive at my destination. Thank you Barney,” I say.

“Sure thing, sir,” he says hanging up.

Anastasia’s gaze is burning into me, asking me to say something. I’m too angry to say anything. She’s been very disobedient, and because of that, I nearly killed that fucker. What if he hurt her? What if he raped her? The thought angers me more.

“Are you not talking to me?” she asks in a whisper.

“No,” I answer her still brooding, not looking at her. The rest of the drive to Escala continues in silent contemplation. I barely managed to contain my anger to Jack Hyde. I could have killed him! I would have killed him, but death is just too good for him. I pull in front of Escala, and get out of the car. I quickly walk to the passenger side, and open Anastasia’s door. I hold my hand out and order her to come out. She takes my hand, and I pull her behind me quickly. Taylor takes the SUV to the underground parking garage. I say nothing as we get to the elevators; her hand is still firmly in my grasp.

“Christian, I don’t understand why you’re so mad at me,” she breathes in a scared whisper.

“You know perfectly well why,” I say, and yank her into the elevator. After entering the code to my penthouse, the elevator starts moving up to the top floor. “I swear to God, I would have killed the fucker if anything had happened to you,” I say in a barely contained murderous tone that has been in me for the last few hours.

“But, I’ll do worse than killing him. I will ruin him; ruin his career so that he will never get a chance to take advantage of any other young woman! He’s a miserable excuse for a man!” Fear, anger and rage runs through me. The ‘what ifs’ are making me sick to my stomach. What if he hurt her? What if he raped her? What if he damaged her? I’m fucked up already! I would have killed him with my bare hands! Fear of loss grips me, and I encase Anastasia to the corner of the elevator in my embrace. “God, Ana! I could have lost you!”

I want to feel her. I want to hold her in my embrace, and chase away these demons, chase away the fears that she could have been hurt. It’s getting to me that in the past two days, two attempts have been made to hurt her. I’m scared that a third one might be successful. The fear grips me, and I am helpless. I grab Anastasia’s hair and roll it around my hand yanking her face up. My mouth covers hers ferociously, kissing her desperately, passionately, possessively. I want to feel her, I want to know that we’re both alive, we’re both together, and that she’s still mine, she’s still safe, and that I can protect her. My tongue dips into hers, and her momentary shock freezes her in place. But soon she is responding, and soon I’m relieved, and kiss her until we both are breathless. I’m holding her possessively, within my embrace, and my weight is pushing into her. I hold her face tenderly in my hands and look into her eyes long and hard as hers are searching mine. My fear is etched all over my eyes; I can barely contain myself. I’m relieved and thankful that she is safe. I swallow hard, try to push away my fears, and try to take control of my personal demons tormenting me; whispering into my mind what might have happened to her.

“Anastasia,” I whisper, my lips grazing her eyes, her cheeks, her lips. “Oh Ana, I was so worried. What if something happened to you? What if he hurt you...” I can’t bring the rest of the thought.

The gripping fear shakes me physically to my core, and the shudder that goes through me jolts us both.

“Like I said many times before, use your Blackberry from now on. Got it?” I ask.  She can only nod in answer, unable to blink, our gazes remain locked.

When the elevator comes to a stop, the doors ding open. I pull back and hold her hand.

“Hyde said that you kicked him in the balls,” I say probing. She shrugs. “Yes. Ray is ex-army. He believed in teaching his daughter self-defense,” she says simply as if it was no big deal. I feel a twinge of smile come to my lips.

“Good. You don’t know how glad I am for that. Guess that’s something I have to remember,” I say in a lighter tone, pleased that she managed to defend herself. She manages to give me a small smile.

“Ana, why don’t you wait for me? I need to call Barney; I shouldn’t be too long,” I say leaving her in the great room, and quickly make my way into my office. I’m extremely curious to see what Barney has discovered.

I close the door to my office, and dial Barney as I make my way to my chair.

“Barney here,” he answers the phone.

“Grey. What have you found?”

“I will send this information to you of course, but here’s a very interesting list:

My Hyde has in his computer all of the addresses your family ever resided. Let’s see,” he says, as I hear his mouse clicking through his computer. “Oh, yes, I see five property addresses in the Seattle, and two, I don’t know if they’re former or current, but there are two properties listed from Detroit, Michigan. He also has resumes for every member of your family. The names here are, Carrick Grey, Elliot Grey, you sir, then Dr. Grace Trevelyan-Grey, Mia Grey, and Miss Anastasia Steele.”

I tense in my seat, and I realize that I’m squeezing my Blackberry as my other hand is tightly gripping my desk.

“Is that all?” I ask in a low hissing tone.

“No sir. There are number of newspaper and online publications pertaining to you, Dr. Trevelyan, Mr. Carrick Grey, and Mr. Elliot Grey.”

“Anything else?”

“Yes sir, there’s more. He has a large collection of pictures of all of you. Hundreds of them. Your father, your mother, and your brother, your sister, and you sir. That’s all have sir,” he says.

“Email me the info, and CC it to Welch. Thanks Barney,” I say hanging up.

What was that fucking bastard trying to do? He clearly has something against me. This can’t all be about Anastasia. Why does he have all that info about my entire family?

I dial Welch’s number.

“Welch,” he answers.

“Grey.”

“Yes, sir.”

“I want you to dig deeper on Jack Hyde. Barney is e-mailing me the information he’s discovered in Hyde’s computer, and I don’t like the content on it. He’s been digging up a lot of info on me, and my entire family. Go through the contents Barney is sending you, and I want you to find out everything about him! I want to know who his kindergarten teacher is, I want to know what he eats for breakfast, who he sleeps with... I want to see his SAT scores. I want to know what kind of shampoo he uses, and the type of drink he prefers. I want to know his mother’s high school boyfriend!  I want to know who his daddy first fucked! I want you to leave no stone unturned about this fucker! By the time you get through his information, I want to be personally acquainted with him! If you have to interview people, you must be the one to do it. Do it discreetly! Got it?”

“Perfectly clear, sir. Anything else?”

“Report to me as soon as you get some information,”

“Will do sir,” he says, and I hang up.

I pocket my Blackberry and sag back in my chair. I hold my face with both hands and finally run my hands through my hair, blowing out exasperation, and the rest of the evening’s anger and frustration. I slowly rise from my chair, and finally anxious to get out and be with Anastasia.

When I make my way back to the great room area, I locate Anastasia sitting at the breakfast bar as Mrs. Jones is fixing something for her to eat as Anastasia is drinking white wine.

As I walk into the kitchen and make my way to the refrigerator to get a drink of wine myself, I greet Mrs. Jones.

“Good evening sir. Your dinner will be ready in ten minutes.”

“That sounds great, Gail,” I reply with a small smile. After pouring myself a glass of white wine, I raise a toast to Ray and fathers like Ray who teaches their daughters how to defend themselves.

“Cheers,” Anastasia whispers in a tired tone. Her voice catches me by surprise.  I know she’s had a hard trying evening, but is there more that she let me know? My personal demons stand to attention immediately.

“What’s the matter?” I ask quickly.

“I’m not sure if I still have a job,” she says worried. Is that all? I give a sigh of relief. “Do you still want a job?” I ask her cocking my head.

“Yes, of course,” she replies fervently, chiding.

I shrug, saying, “in that case, you still have one,” and smile. She looks at me gaping. I shrug.

Gail sets two placemats for our dinner, and Anastasia starts with her Spanish Inquisition as we get our steaming chicken pot pies placed before us.

“So,” she says nonchalantly. “What exactly did Barney find in Jack’s computer?”

“Nothing of interest to you, Ana,” I say impassively.

“I see. If what he found wasn’t important, why didn’t he say it over the phone?”

“He didn’t know who was with me. Eat, baby, you must be starving,” I say, and she narrows her eyes on me.

“I gather, you aren’t gonna tell me...” she says letting her thought hang in the air.

“Nope,” I respond.  She sighs.

“After all that happened today, I forgot to tell you that Jose called,” she says impassively this time.

My fork stops in midair as I turn my face to look at her. “Oh?” I say in a questioning tone.

“He said he wants to deliver the pictures you’ve purchased.”

Another fucker who has eyes on my woman! I’m sure he’s delivering by hand all because of the goodness of his Spanish heart!

“Wow! A hand delivery. How thoughtful of him,” I mutter in a cursing tone under my breath.

Anastasia pretends she didn’t hear me. “He also asked me if I would to go out for a drink.” Where is she going with this? Is she asking my permission, or my opinion?

“Really...”

“Kate and Elliot should also be back in town,” she says quickly. I put my fork on my plate and turn and gaze at her intently.

“Anastasia, what are you trying to ask me?” I inquire raising my eyebrows.

“Not asking anything. I’m letting you know what I’m planning to do on Friday. I want to see Jose, and he needs a place to stay. He can either stay here with us, or at my place in which case I like to be there,” she says in one breath as if she’s being chased or that she won’t be able to say it all if she doesn’t say it fast. I’m shocked! After all that fucker has done, and nearly raped her, she still wants to see him? And not just see him, but to let him stay with her?

“Anastasia, he made a pass at you!”

“That was several weeks ago Christian. But then we were both drunk. You saved me, and he will never do that again. Jose is not Jack for God’s sake!”

“Then, leave him at your place. I’m sure Ethan can keep him company,” I say sulkily. Didn’t she almost get raped this evening, and here’s another man who tried to force himself on her, and my girlfriend wants to spend time with that fucker! Why is she making it so difficult for me to protect her?

“Christian, Jose wants to see me, not Ethan Kavanagh.” Grant me patience! I look at her grimacing.

She takes a pleading expression. “Christian, Jose is just a friend, that’s all.”

“And, I’m supposed to like that?”

She knits her eyebrows together and scowls at me. “Look, I’m telling you that he’s my friend. A friend I haven’t seen since his photography show; and that was too short. I know you don’t have any friends other than that god-awful woman, but I don’t gripe every time you see her.”

When did the topic turn into Elena? I blink, astonished. Ana doesn’t want me to see Elena? 

“Christian, I want to see Jose, and you know I haven’t been a very good friend to him.”

But I’m still stuck with the initial topic. “Is that what you feel?”

“Huh? About what?” she asks confused.

“About Elena, of course. Would you rather I didn’t see her?” I ask. I know she hates her, and gets jealous that we have a past, but, I never thought she wouldn’t want me to see her ever again.

She sighs, and stops for a minute, gauging my reaction with her baby blues.

“Absolutely!” she says fervently. “I’d rather you didn’t see Elena.”

“Why didn't you say so?” I ask accusingly. I make my feelings clear to her; I thought she could do the same.

“Why? Christian, it’s not for me to say whether you should be friends with her. You think Elena is the only friend you’ve got,” she breathes aggravated. “By the same token, it’s not your place to say if I can see my friend Jose. Can’t you see that?”

My mind quickly calculates what concessions I can make. God knows that I don’t care to see the photographer. So, letting Anastasia stay in her apartment with two men who are both salivating after her is not an option. On the other hand, if he stays here, he can see that she’s my woman, and I can keep an eye on him. As much as I dislike him, this is the best option.

“Fine, he can stay here. That way I get to keep an eye on him,” I mutter with distaste.

“Thank you Christian. If I’ll be living here as well...” she says leaving her thoughts hanging in the air. “You know you have plenty of space,” she says gesturing with the swipe of her hand, smirking. And I think we’ve passed the worst part of the day.

“Oh Miss Steele, are you by any chance smirking at me?”

“Certainly Mr. Grey,” she replies as she picks her plate up to clear it. I tell her that Mrs. Jones would do that, but she ignores and cleans it up. Is she just trying to occupy herself with busy work so she gets through the stress of today?

“Ana, I need to go and work for a little while baby,” I say searching her face if that’s okay with her.

“That’s fine. I’m sure I can find something to do,” she replies.

“Come here, baby,” I order in a soft and seductive tone, my waiting arms are open. She quickly makes her way into my embrace, her arms wrapping around my neck. I take a sharp intake of breath, and tighten my hold around her body; I close my eyes savoring her. I inhale her scent. “Are you alright baby?” I whisper.

“What do you mean?” she asks.

“Anastasia, don’t you remember what happened with that fucker? And yesterday’s shit? I want to know that you’re okay,” I say worried. I pull back and check her expression. She thinks for a minute considering my question.

“Yes,” she whispers back.  I close my eyes in relief, and thankful for her resilience, and hold her tight in my embrace once again, kissing her hair repeatedly. “Let’s not fight, please,” I say pleading between my kisses. I take a deep inhale of her scent. “Ana, you smell heavenly,” I whisper.

She reaches up to kisses my neck within my embrace, and whispers, “as do you.” I finally release her from my clutch, and tell her I’d be back in a couple of hours. She nods, smiling.

 I go to my office, and close the door behind me.

I check my e-mail immediately and there’s the ominous message from Barney.

_____________________________________________
From: Barney Sullivan
Subject: Jack Hyde
Date: June 15, 2011 21:37
To: Christian Grey

Mr. Grey,

I’ve compiled a list of items I found on Jack Hyde’s SIP computer. They are as follows and the actual contents are on GEH FTP servers as the original contents are too large. Please use link I’m providing you with to access and download the contents relating to you and yours.

Grey Family Home Addresses:

Five properties in Seattle, WA area (various addresses your family have had, your brother, and you sir)

Two property addresses in Detroit, MI

Detailed Resumes for:

Mr. Christian Grey
Mr. Carrick Grey
Mr. Elliot Grey
Dr. Grace Trevelyan-Grey
Miss Mia Grey
Miss Anastasia Steele

Newspaper articles and Online publications relating to:

Mr. Christian Grey
Mr. Carrick Grey
Mr. Elliot Grey
Dr. Grace Trevelyan-Grey

Pictures:

Christian Grey (file 1)
Miss Mia Grey (file 2)
Dr. Grace Trevelyan-Grey (file 3)
Mr. Carrick Grey (file 4)
Mr. Elliot Grey (file 5)

Please use the following FTP link to access the said files. You can use your personal login information to download, sir:

https://geh.com/ftpclient/account/login.htm

I will of course check to see if there are any other hidden files in the computer, or any place on the SIP server. I will inform you of anything I find.

Barney Sullivan
Head of IT, GEH
_____________________________________________

I login to the server, and download the information Jack Hyde collected on me and my family which span an extensive number of years.

I examine the information. It looks like he’s on a fact finding mission. What is he gathering this information for? Why on all of my family? For the next hour, I go through everything in the files. The man is obsessed with my life. I have the feeling that this is entirely about me. He’s gathering information on MY family, MY properties, MY girlfriend... My girlfriend! He attacked her today, and he could have seriously hurt her had it not been for Ray’s training! I leave my laptop immediately with a desire to find Anastasia, and hold her in my arms once again. When I go to the great room, she isn’t there. I make my way to my bedroom, but there is no sign of her either. Panic rises in me. I go up to what used to be her room, and she isn’t there either. This time in running steps I make my way into the library, and it’s dark, and empty. Where else could she be?

I turn around and gaze up and down the hallway, and notice the seeping light from the playroom. I don’t remember leaving the door unlocked.

I slowly make my way to the door. There is Anastasia curiously looking into the drawers where I keep some of the sex toys. What is she doing here? She picks up a butt plug from the drawer, and cocks her head and looks at it like it’s an item from Ripley’s Believe It Or Not Museum. Then she picks up another butt plug, and examines it, completely puzzled of its function. I feel a smile creep up on my lips. Her innocence is completely adorable. She looks up feeling my intense gaze on her, and sees me standing in the doorway.

“Hi,” she says shyly, looking at my heated gaze.

“What are you doing here?” I ask softly. Her presence here both arouses and scares me. Memory of her here, leaving me is still fresh, and I don’t know if I want her in this room. But then, we have had some extremely pleasurable hours spent actively fucking and making love here. My feelings are confused and tumbled about the playroom. Oh, yes, I was here earlier, wondering what I should do with it. I’m not all too sure if she wants me to keep this room, but yet here she is completely surprising me once again.

She flushes in embarrassment of being caught doing something she shouldn’t be doing. “Uhm, I was a bit bored, and just got curious,” she says shrugging as if this would explain. “So, here I am,” she says giving me an apologetic smile. I walk into the room, and run my index finger over my lips trying to hide a smile.

“Curious and bored, you say. That’s a very dangerous combination, Miss Steele,” I say in a husky voice, my gaze lusty. She swallows hard, knowing what is behind my gaze.

“Maybe I can help. What exactly are you curious about?”

“Oh... Well... You know the door,” she says nervously pointing at the door, “it was open, and I just...walked in,” she blabbers anxious.

As I finally reach up to her, I rest my arms and my chin atop the chest of drawers containing various toys.

“I suppose I forgot to lock the door when I was here earlier in the day contemplating what to do with all of this,” I say a little upset with myself forgetting to lock the door.

“Oh?” she asks with surprise.

Now, I’m curious. She’s here, in this room. Clearly there’s something she likes about it. But, what? “And here you are Miss Steele, full of curiosity.” Anastasia looks at me surprise.

“So, you aren’t mad at me Christian?” she whispers almost scared.

“Why should I be mad, Ana?”

“I don’t know. Maybe because I’m trespassing. Who knows, Christian? You’re always mad at me for one reason, or another,” she says, shrugging as if I’m the mystery, the curiosity. That assessment surprises me. I don’t always get mad at her, do I? No. Only when she puts herself in unnecessary danger.

“You’re of course trespassing, but I’m not mad at you for it. I’m hoping that someday you will agree to ...” this time I get nervous. “Well, you’ll live with me, and everything in here, will also be yours,” I say with intensity.

“I was trying to decide what to do with them today. But I’m not angry with you all the time. You know I wasn’t this morning,” I say mischievously. She smiles.

“You were the playful Christian. I like him,” she says.

“Do you now Miss Steele?” I say arching my brow with a pleased smile.

Finally remembering she has a toy in her hand, she holds it up curiously and asks to know what it is.

“Curious as ever, Miss Steele? That’s a butt plug which I purchased for you,” I say.

“For me?” she asks in a squeaking voice. I nod, but now I’m wary of her reaction as she frowns.

“Do you buy new toys for each...uhm... submissive?” she asks nervously.

“Some toys, yes.”

“Does that include the butt plugs?”

“It does.”

She swallows, uncomfortable. She pulls another toy out with gradually diminishing spheres asking what that is.

“They’re called anal beads,” I reply. She just drops it into the drawer as if she touched fire with a horrified look on her face. She shakes her head as if to clear a distasteful image out of her mind.

“They have such an intense effect if you pull them out mid orgasm,” I say shrugging. They’re just toys.

“So you bought the contents of this... uhm... this butt drawer for me?” she asks making me smirk.

“Yes, I did.”

She just slams it shut shocked. “Don’t you like the contents of the butt drawer, baby?” I ask nonchalantly.

She clears her throat. “Well, it wouldn’t top my Christmas list,” she says innocently making me grin ear to ear.

She touches the next drawer but afraid to find what’s in it. I tell her that the next drawer contains the vibrators. She point to the other one, taking one of the items out.

“Those are a little more interesting. They’re genital clamps,” I say and her expression is worth a thousand words. She drops it in the drawer immediately.

“These are both for pain and pleasure, but most are for pleasure,” I explain in a soft voice.

She takes up another item, and asks me to identify it.

“Nipple clamps, both for pain and pleasure,” I explain. She’s curious about it, and I demonstrate it on her pinkie.

“You will feel the sensation very intensely, but it’s when taking them off that they’re at their peak of pain and pleasure.”

“I like these,” she murmurs shyly.

“Do you now Miss Steele? I can tell,” I say smugly. She nods and absently bites her lip. My gaze darkens and my desire for her is already at its peak in this room. I reach up and tug her chin releasing her lip from the captivity of her teeth.

“You know what that does to me,” I say darkly.

As she puts the clips back in the drawer, I show her another pair. “You can adjust these ones,” I show it to her. “Adjust them, how?”

“Depending on your mood, you can wear them very tight...or not,” I say without breaking my gaze laced with wanton desire. Her breathing increases, her lips part. She swallows, and getting shy, she busies herself with finding another toy in the drawer.

“Why do you need a cookie cutter?” she asks innocently.

I smile. “That’s called a Wartenberg pinwheel,” I say, and she looks at me questioning. I reach out and take her hand. “Open up your palm,” I say softly, my thumbs caressing her knuckles. As our bodies connect, a jolt of energy surges through us both, making us shudder. I look at her desirously. When she opens her palm up, I run the pinwheel over her palm. She groans, “Ah!” but has a surprised look over her face for the way it feels.

“Imagine this over your breasts,” I whisper into her ear licentiously. She snatches her hand back, blushing. “There’s only a very fine line between pain and pleasure, Ana,” I say as I put the pinwheel back.

“What do you use the clothespins for?” she asks curiously eyeing them in the drawer.

“There is a great deal you can do with them,” I say desire scorching me.

She leans to the drawer with her back, pushing it close. Guess, our show and tell is over.

“Is that all?” I ask amused after seeing her reaction.

“Nope,” she says opening another drawer where she finds the ball gag. “To keep you quiet,” I say smiling thinking of her smart mouth.

“Soft limit,” she murmurs.

“I remember. But you know, you can still breathe with it,” I say demonstrating it. She asks me if I had worn one before. I tell her that I had.

She of course frustratingly associates it with pain again, thinking I had worn it to mask my screams. I sigh, once again.

“Anastasia, they’re about control. Think how helpless you would be, tied up, and unable to speak... How much trust would you have to have knowing I had that much power over you... You would have to trust that I could read your body’s and your reaction without hearing your words. It would put me in ultimate control and making you completely dependent on me,” I say explaining.

She cocks her head and examines my expression, almost sad.

“You sound like you miss that, Christian,” she observes.

“That’s what I know,” I confess. Everything else is new, and this has been my way of life for so long. I gaze at her longing, helpless.

“You know you have the power over me Christian,” she whispers.

“Do I, really Ana? You make me feel...” I say sighing. What’s the right word...inadequate, vulnerable, exposed, powerless, defenseless... “Helpless,” I say finally. That about sums it.

“No! Why do you think that?” she asks fervently.

“Because Anastasia, you are the only person in the world I know who could really hurt me,” I confess. Hurt me beyond repair. I felt powerless when she left me. I died a thousand deaths yesterday thinking she would be killed! And today, someone else tried to hurt her! Really hurt her! She can simply destroy me by not being with me.

“Oh, Christian, you know that this goes both ways. If you didn’t want me...where would that leave me?” she says looking into her knotted fingers nervously. She shudders as if a cold wind blasted through the room. “I don’t ever want to hurt you, Christian. I just love you,” she whispers, now looking up at me. I still can’t grasp why she loves me. I’m unlovable. Her fingers reach up to my sideburns, and her touch is heavenly. I close my eyes, and find myself leaning into her caress. I drop the last toy in the drawer absently and close it. All I want to do is to hold my girl in my arms and feel her presence. My arms snake around her waist, pulling her close to me.

“Are we done with show and tell?” I ask in a soft, lascivious voice.  

“Why? What do you have in mind?” she asks. As I lean down and kiss her softly, she just molds into my kiss, and reciprocates while she’s strongly holding onto my arms.

“Baby, you were nearly attacked today. I want to know you’re okay.” I say as apprehension and anger laces my voice.

She shrugs. “So? What’s the big deal?” I pull myself back to look at her.

“What the heck do you mean?” I hiss angrily.

“I’m fine, Christian,” she says totally unfazed. I hold her even closer, burying her into my chest. “Every time I think of what might have happened to you,” I choke... I couldn’t have made it through this night. I would have killed the fucker! I try to feel Anastasia with touch, smell and taste. I inhale her and I kiss her hair while holding her against myself flush.

“Christian, I’m a lot strong than I look,” she whispers against my neck.

“I know you’re strong baby,” I whisper. But that isn’t enough for me to feel secure. I don’t want to indulge my demons tonight. I kiss her hair again, releasing her. Anastasia’s short attention span, and her ever curious mind, catches another toy in the drawer. She lifts it up and looks at it curiously.

That is another ultimate control device which I would like to use on her right now. “That’s a spreader bar with ankle and wrist restraints,” I murmur as my gaze darkens with passion.

“How does it work?” she asks with bright eyes, seeking for a demonstration.

“Do you want me to show you?” I breathe thanking God for an ever curious woman. I close my eyes in brief supplication. She takes my breath away with one simple question, and wakes my sex god up like no one else.

“Yes, I think I would like a demonstration. I like being tied up,” she whispers shyly and I nearly explode. Breathe in, breathe out.

But my desire is short lived, because this room is painful for me. I can’t have her here. The memory of her leaving me here, in this room is too fresh.

“Oh, Ana. Not here,” I say in a tormented voice.

“Why not?”

“Because I want you in my bed, not in this room. Come,” I say grabbing the bar out of her hand, and take her out of the room where my last memory of her was her leaving me along with my heart and soul. I leave the pain and the tormenting memory locked up, and to be dealt with some other time within the confines of the playroom.



*****

Fire and Ice

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

Robert Frost

I didn't put that many songs since I didn't have as much time. I might try to do that tomorrow perhaps. Hope you're all well. And Suz, if you had your surgery already, let us know how you're doing! Hugs to all!