HOMEWARD BOUND
CHAPTER XXIX
Early morning brings me no relief. (←Sorrow - Gladiator soundtrack) I am running on auto pilot. Get up, work-out, shower, get
dressed, eat, and tend to problems I may have caused or are brought to my doorstep.
But at this point it really doesn’t matter. Leila and I have a shared history.
She was one of my long term relationships. I can’t think of abandoning her at
the time of need. I have a strong feeling that I’m the cause of her breakdown,
or at least a big part of it. Why else would she come here? Remembering how
Mrs. Jones described her disheveled appearance, my heart constricts anew. How
did she get to that from being a vibrant, lively, mischievous woman? She was
still all those things when we parted our ways; when she found someone to marry
when I made it clear to her that I didn’t want ‘more’. I never wanted more. Not
until Anastasia. But Leila found her more in the form of a husband, didn’t she?
Then what
happened? Does he know that she was here trying to cut herself? Of course not.
If he knew, he’d be attending her needs like a husband should.
I get to my
study after accepting a cup of black coffee with skim milk from Mrs. Jones.
I press two
numbers on my phone on the desk, Taylor answers, “Yes, sir.”
“I need you for
a briefing Taylor,” I say.
“Coming sir,” he
replies, I hang up.
“Taylor, I want
you to liaise with Welch. Find out where Leila’s husband is, and speak to him
personally. Find out whether he’s still with Leila, and if not, find out the
reason of their separation. When Welch touches bases with her parents, I want
to know every detail, in writing. Got it?”
“Of course,
sir,” he replies firmly.
My Blackberry
buzzes, I check the phone and it’s Welch. Taylor turns to leave, but I hold my
finger indicating him to stay for another minute. This may be something he too
has to hear.
“Welch, I’m
going to put you on speaker phone, and I want Taylor to hear what you have to
say. I want him to liaise between you and me if I’m not available. You can
reach him anytime, and you have his contact information.”
“Yes, sir,”
Welch replies. “The reason I’m calling you about is this. About a little over
two months ago, Leila left her husband after finding herself another lover.
From what her husband said, she seemed in love with him, and has hasn’t had
contact with her since, and he specifically said that neither does he care to
hear from her, after, ahem,” he said clearing his throat, “and I’m quoting the
husband here, ‘fucking another son-of-a-bitch while she was still under him’.
So, it turns out she has been with this new boyfriend for the last two months.
We don’t know who this boyfriend is though. That’s what I’m trying to find out.
I have tried to reach the family, but they haven’t answered their phones yet. I’ll
try them today as well to see if they have any information on her whereabouts
or the new boyfriend she has in her life. That could give us a good lead sir,”
he said.
“Are you getting all this?” I ask Taylor. (←Hearing the Damage by Tom Yorke)
“Yes, sir,” he
replies coolly.
“Meanwhile, keep
your eyes and ears open to see or hear if she’s checked into another hospital,
or whether the police records, or anything new that may mention her name until
we find her. She’s bound to pop out of somewhere. It doesn’t make sense that
she comes to my house trying to commit suicide, and then disappear. She’s got
to be somewhere in the city. “
“Are there any
close friends, or acquaintances she has in town sir, or in the surrounding
cities that you know of?”
“Not that I know
of. That’s now your job to uncover. Anything else?”
“Nothing else
sir,” he says, and I remind him, to keep in touch with Taylor and hang up.
“Taylor, this is
now your priority to look into. Let me know the second you uncover something.”
“Of course sir,”
he replies.
My Blackberry buzzes
letting me know I have an incoming message. Taylor turns to go back again, but
I hold my finger at him once more. The message is from Anastasia.
______________________________________
From: Anastasia
Steele
Subject: Homeward bound
Date: June 3 2011 12:52 EST
To: Christian Grey
Subject: Homeward bound
Date: June 3 2011 12:52 EST
To: Christian Grey
Dear Mr.
Grey
I’m once
again in the enclosure of the first class for which I thank you. I’m counting
the minutes until I see you this evening, and perhaps torturing the truth out
of you about my nocturnal admissions.
Your Ana x
______________________________________
I type her a
quick response.
______________________________________
From: Christian
Grey
Subject: Homeward bound
Date: June 3 2011 09:57
To: Anastasia Steele
Subject: Homeward bound
Date: June 3 2011 09:57
To: Anastasia Steele
Anastasia, I look forward to seeing
you.
Christian Grey
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.
______________________________________
Then turn to
Taylor and tell him to take me to CEH within the next 30 minutes. I have so
much work to do. That’s on top of the unexpected problems arisen due to Leila.
______________________________________
From: Anastasia
Steele
Subject: Homeward bound
Date: June 3 2011 13:00 EST
To: Christian Grey
Subject: Homeward bound
Date: June 3 2011 13:00 EST
To: Christian Grey
Dear Mr.
Grey
I hope
everything is okay regarding the situation. The tone of your email is worrying.
Your Ana x
______________________________________
Oh, I don’t want
to upset her, or worry her with my problems. It’s not something I can’t
resolve, but currently occupying my mind. But is she writing me from inside the
airplane? If so, have they taken off? Is she putting herself in danger?
Currently, I can only deal with one woman who is putting herself in danger, and
I especially don’t want Anastasia to be the other.
______________________________________
From: Christian
Grey
Subject: Homeward bound
Date: June 3 2011 10:03
To: Anastasia Steele
Subject: Homeward bound
Date: June 3 2011 10:03
To: Anastasia Steele
Anastasia, the situation could be
better. Have you taken off yet? If you have, you shouldn’t be emailing me. You
are putting yourself as well as the lives of others in the plane at risk which
is a direct infraction of the rule regarding your personal safety. I meant what
I said about punishments.
Christian Grey
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.
______________________________________
I hit send. I
don’t have the patience to deal with rule breaking today. Her response is
nearly immediate.
______________________________________
From: Anastasia
Steele
Subject: overreaction
Date: June 3 2011 13:05 EST
To: Christian Grey
Subject: overreaction
Date: June 3 2011 13:05 EST
To: Christian Grey
Dear Mr.
Grumpy,
The
aircraft doors are still open and everyone’s lives including my own are quite
safe. We are delayed for about ten minutes. You may stow your twitchy palm for
now.
Miss
Steele
______________________________________
This ‘situation’
is making me edgy and I’m even brusque with my girlfriend. I quickly type to
apologize.
______________________________________
From: Christian
Grey
Subject: Apologies – stowing the twitchy palm away
Date: June 3 2011 10:07
To: Anastasia Steele
Subject: Apologies – stowing the twitchy palm away
Date: June 3 2011 10:07
To: Anastasia Steele
I miss you and your smart mouth Miss
Steele.
I just want you home safely.
Christian Grey
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.
______________________________________
I couldn’t
handle it if anything had happened to her because she was being careless to
send me a text message.
______________________________________
From: Anastasia
Steele
Subject: apology accepted
Date: June 3 2011 13:09 EST
To: Christian Grey
Subject: apology accepted
Date: June 3 2011 13:09 EST
To: Christian Grey
They’re
closing the doors now. You won’t hear another peep from me especially given
your deafness.
Laters,
Ana x
______________________________________
After I receive
her last message, I make my way out to the living room where Taylor is waiting
to drive me.
“Taylor, do you
have Miss Steele’s arrival information?”
“Of course,
sir,” he replies.
“Alright. It
appears that I have more work than I could finish today, so I need you to pick
her up when she arrives, and bring her back to Escala this evening.”
“Certainly,
sir,” he responds. We arrive at GEH and Andrea scuttles behind me into my
office to go over my upcoming meetings for the day.
My fucking day
is filled with one stressful incident after another. Right after Andrea, Ros comes
in. In her pack and a half cigarette smoked raspy, but I-cut-to-the-chase voice she gives
me the gist on our disaster of an acquisition of a company which we are trying
to liquidate now.
“Cost, Ros, what
is the bottom line in cost?”
She shifts in
her seat, uncomfortable.
“Final number
sir is sixty-seven million Dollars...” her voice is steady but low.
“Sixty-seven
fucking million Dollars? How did we back into such a shitty trap? I want all
the details, down to the last penny, and have finance send me an extensive cost
analysis report, immediately!” I bark.
“Yes Mr. Grey,”
she says knowing she’s dismissed, and quickly makes her way out of my office.
I press the
intercom.
“Yes Mr. Grey,”
answers Andrea.
“Get Welch on
the line,” I order.
“Right away,
sir.”
Two minutes
later the phone rings.
“Yes, Mr. Grey,”
he answers.
“Do you have any
update for me?”
“Mr. Grey, her
husband is being most uncooperative. He doesn’t care what happens to her, he
said he doesn’t care if she kills herself, by hanging, cutting, throwing
herself off a bridge, or shooting. We tried to be very persuasive. Since he
doesn’t care for her well-being, we tried to coax information by paying him,”
says Welch.
“Fucking
bastard! Does he care nothing about her? Did she mean nothing to him that he
can be so calloused?” I rant.
“Mr. Grey, he’s
vindictive, and hasn’t passed the fact that she cheated on him, and ran out on
him with some other man she fell in love with. That’s the story we could gather
from acquaintances.”
“How about the
family?”
“It’s still work
in progress sir. The family lives on the other side of the country. They knew
she ran out on her husband, and that she was happy with the new guy she was
with. But the parents said that the sister might have more information and we
were unable to get in touch with her.”
“Do they know
her whereabouts?”
“No sir. The
last she was in touch with them was after she ran out of her husband. Nothing
since.”
“Keep searching.
I want her found Welch!”
“Yes sir,” he
says firmly.
I hang up.
The work day is
dragging with one issue after another, and I’m frustrated with all the
emergencies at my door. I have a late meeting, and I call Taylor in to pick
Anastasia up from the airport.
“Bring her back
to Escala,” I reiterate my earlier order.
“I will sir.” He
leaves. As soon as my meeting is over, I drive myself back to Escala. I make it
to my penthouse around 6:00 p.m. My Blackberry never stops ringing.
“Mr. Grey, this
is Welch here,” says Welch by the way of greeting.
“Do you have an
update for me?” I ask.
“Mr. Grey, we’ve
been searching her old address, old neighbors, and former friends and
acquaintances. So far no one has seen
her in more than three months.”
“No trace then?”
“None so far
sir. But we’ll keep searching.”
“Okay.”
Would you like
me to update if we get partial information?”
“Yes.” Then I
feel it. That gaze, on my back... watching me. (←I Just In Your Arms Tonight by Cutting Crew) I didn’t even realize that my
entire body was tense, but that connection, that electricity somehow changes my
whole demeanor. Tension leaves my body, peace floods as I find my center with
the sight of my girlfriend. Girlfriend. My ‘more’. I feel that intense desire blooming inside me
as my body calls to hers. I gaze at her with a sensual carnality, my eyes
blazing. She’s speechless, quiet. She feels the same pull. The same attraction.
Same desire. I thank God every day for finding her, and sending her to me.
“Keep me
informed,” I say to Welch and turn my phone off without breaking gaze with
Anastasia. She’s paralyzed in her spot at the entry to the living room. I close
the distance between us in long strides, my eyes devouring this beauty as if I
haven’t seen her in ages, and not yesterday. With all the shitty things that
have been happening since yesterday, she’s like an angel with her innocent,
beguiling aura. My jaw is tense with the stress, and I’m beyond anxious. I
finally shrug off my gray suit jacket, then undo the dark tie and finally sling
them both on the couch as I make my way to my woman. As I reach her, I wrap my arms around her, pulling her to me hard and fast, and grip her ponytail to tilt her head up to meet my lips. I kiss her as if my life depends on it; and it
does. She’s my lifeline. She’s my rock, and one that steadies me in the midst
of the damned, fucked-up past, and what it brings forth to me.
She is surprised
at my desperation, and the primal quality in my kiss. I have barely made through this
last day. Mostly I’m a man, who is an island, but today, it’s different; my
need for Anastasia is paramount. My kiss says it all: I want you. I need you.
Save me. Love me. Be with me. Let me take over control so I don't feel lost anymore! (←I Want You to Take Over Control by Afrojack) At this point in time, I’m elated that she’s
back, that she still wants me, desires me. I pour all the anxiety that has been
brewing over since I learned she was leaving town finally comes to a boiling
point. She starts kissing me with equal fervor as she twists and fists her
fingers in my hair. She inhales me as if she wants to devour me, love me, and
taste me in her hot sexy way. I drag my mouth away from her momentarily, and
stare at her. The relief of her presence is monumental. My heart twists and
constricts with an unnamed emotion. Desire, lust, want, love?
“What’s wrong?”
she breathes.
“I’m so glad
you’re back. Shower with me...Now.” I command, completely evading her question.
“Yes,” is her
whispering reply as I grab her hand leading her out of the living room into my
bedroom and to my master bathroom.
Once we are in
the bathroom, I release her hand, and turn the shower on. I slowly turn to her,
and gaze at this beautiful creature before me.
“I like your
skirt,” I say taking in her too short skirt, “It’s very short,” I say. “You
have great legs.”
Stepping out of
my shoes, I lower myself down and take each of my socks off, while my eyes
constantly lingering on Anastasia. The hunger, the desire I feel for her is
tangible; overtaking me. She mirrors my actions by taking off her black flats.
This is all I can take right now with her close proximity, in my bathroom.
After all that’s gone through within the last day and a half, I want nothing
but to bury myself in her, lose all train of thought, forget everything even my
name, and unite with her. Suddenly my patience is lost and I reach for her,
backing her against the wall. I start kissing her with all the emotion pouring
out of me, her lips, her face, her throat, back to her lips as I run my hands
into her hair. Her back is against the cool tile wall. I push myself against
her as in a bid to be one with her, to merge, to consume and soothe my aching
soul, find myself again out of the misery I’ve been experiencing. It’s as if
I’m lost in the middle of the cold Pacific during a middle of a typhoon, and
she’s the only thing that promises survival and life; my lifeline. She places
her arms on my upper arms, and I groan...loud, and she squeezes tightly.
“I want you now.
Here... fast and hard,” I breathe, and my hand slide to her thighs pushing up
her skirt. It’s my own universe. The only coping mechanism, the only way I find
relief with the only woman everyone else who says I’m in love with. But, right
now, I don’t care what they say. I have emotions that I’ve never experienced before when it comes to Anastasia. (←Lets Make it a Night
to Remember by Bryan Adams)
“Are you still
bleeding?” I ask.
“No,” she
replies as she blushes.
“Good,” I say.
My thumbs hook
over her white cotton panties, and I abruptly drop to my knees to Anastasia’s
surprise and tug them off. Her skirt is just rucked up and she’s naked from
waist down. She starts panting in anticipating, wanting, desirous for me. My
breath is caught at her response. I grab her hips, pushing her against the wall
again as I kiss her at the apex of her thighs. I grab her upper thighs and I
force her legs apart. She moans loudly as I circle my tongue on her clitoris.
Her body arches and her head tips back in response to my ministrations on her
sex. Her moans grow louder in rising pleasure, and her fingers find their way
into my hair tugging hard.
I pour all my
desire, all my pent up frustration, all the anxiety my separation caused in the
last day, and the relentless problems I was dished out into my love making with
the only woman of my heart’s desire. As my tongue swirls round and round
relentlessly, strong and insistent, constantly laving her over and over again,
my anxiety leaves me for finally having to be with my girl. I know the feeling
of ecstasy my mouth on her sex is providing is intense. I feel her body
quicken, and that’s when I release her. I don’t want her to come under my
tongue, but with the invasion of my ever growing length. Her breathing is
ragged as she’s panting, and gazing at me in protest for not finding a release
that came but never materialized. I don’t want the quick release. I want to
drag this on. I quickly rise up to my feet and grab her face with both hands,
holding my girl firmly and kiss her hard thrusting my tongue in her mouth
invading her there, finding hers in a bid to make her taste her own arousal for
me letting all her senses know that she too desires me in every way possible.
I then unzip my
fly freeing my manhood and grab the backs of her thighs and lift her.
“Wrap your legs
around me baby,” I command her in an urgent, strained, and I-want-to-fuck-you-now
voice. She immediately does what she’s told, and I move quickly and sharply,
filling her expectant sex. When our most desired connection is established
making me groan, and gasp, I hold her behind, my fingers digging into her soft
flesh, I begin to move slowly at first trying to get a feel of her, let my
brain know that I’m in her with the initial feel. Then I pick up a steady even
tempo, but as I lose myself in my woman, I speed up faster and faster. She tips
her head back as her legs wrapped around, her arms holding my neck and my
manhood is uniting with her sex in a fast and rapturous tango, I push both of
us higher and higher in pleasure in an invading, pushing, punishing heavenly
sensation. We climb higher and higher as neither of us can climb anymore
reaching our peak, we spiral into an intense, an all-consuming orgasm. I let go
with a deep growl, and bury my head into her neck as I busy my length in her
sex deep one last time, I groan loudly and incoherently as I find my own
release.
My own breathing
is erratic, but I kiss her tenderly without breaking our connection, creating
another connection point. If it was possible to merge with my girl, I’d do that
right now. She blinks also lost in sensation and desire. I finally manage to
pull out of her, and hold her steady as I gently place her on her feet on the
floor. The shower has been running and the hot water created steam, covering up
the mirrors creating a cloud in the bathroom.
“You seem
pleased to see me,” she murmurs with her shy smile I love so much. My lips
quirk up at her brand of underestimation.
“Yes, Miss
Steele,” I say, “I think my pleasure in seeing you is pretty self-evident.
Come... Let me get you in the shower.”
I undo the
buttons on my shirt, removing the cufflinks, and tug it off over my head, and
just toss it on the floor. I remove my suit pants and boxers, and also kick
them to one side careless. I never break my gaze off Anastasia. I start undoing
the buttons of her blouse as she is watching me intently with some unnamed desire
in her eyes-deep and consuming.
“How was your
trip back?” I ask mildly as the sex calmed me down and my apprehension leaving
me. She’s my universal panacea to most every problem I have.
“Fine, thank
you,” she murmurs still trying to catch her breath.
“Thank you once
again for upgrading me to first class. It really is a much nicer way to
travel,” she says smiling shyly at me. “I have some news,” she adds nervously.
Oh, oh... What
could it be? Is it bad that she feels nervous telling me about it?
“Oh?” is my
contained response. I look down at her curiously as I undo the last button on
her blouse and slip it down her arms, and throw it on top of the discarded
clothes.
“I have a job,”
she says.
I still with reprieve;
it’s not something as bad as I expected. As relief floods and washes over me I
smile at her with warm and soft eyes.
“Congratulations,
Miss Steele. Now will you tell me where?” I tease her.
“You don’t
know?” she asks. I shake my head and frown. Why would she think I know where
she got the job?
“Why would I know?”
I ask probing.
“With your
stalking capabilities, I thought you might have...” she trails off when she
sees the expression my face as unexpected disappointment and hurt passes
through my face.
“Anastasia, I
wouldn’t dream of interfering in your career, unless you ask me to of course,”
I say, truly wounded that she would think so little of me.
“So, you have no
idea which company?” she asks.
“No. I know that
there are four publishing companies in Seattle,” I say. That much I’ve
researched when she told me she was going to interview with two publishing
companies. “So, I’m assuming it’s one of them.”
“SIP,” she
blurts out excitedly.
“Oh, the small
one, good. Well done,” I say leaning forward, kissing her forehead. “Clever
girl. When do you start?” I ask.
“Monday,” she
responds.
“That soon, eh? I’d better take advantage of you while I still can. Turn around,” I command. (←All I Want is You by U2) She
does as she’s commanded. I undo her bra and unzip her skirt. I push her skirt
down and cup her amazingly round and rosy derrière, and simultaneously kiss her
shoulder. I lean against her nuzzling my nose against her hair. I inhale her
scent deeply as her smell is incredibly intoxicating, taking me to a different
plane. I squeeze her buttocks that are two round orbs.
“You intoxicate
me Miss Steele, and you calm me. It’s such a heady combination,” I mutter
between the kisses I place on her hair. I grab her hand tug her into the
shower.
“Ow,” she
squeals as the scalding hot water hit her skin. I grin down at her as the water
cascades and run down from my body.
“It’s only a little
hot water Anastasia,” I tease her.
“Turn around,” I
order, and she complies without a word. She turns and faces the wall. “I want
to wash you,” I say with intense desire to touch her all over with the lather
sliding between my hands and her curves. I reach for the body wash, squirting a
little into my hand.
“I have
something else to tell you,” she murmurs, as my hands start on her shoulders. I
feel her entire body tense with this one sentence. What could be worrying her?
Is it something bad? Is she leaving me? Has she reached a decision in Georgia
against us? With her reaction, I tense as well, but, I want to hear her out.
With barely
contained anxiety, I say, “Oh, yes?” I ask in a mild tone.
“My friend
Jose’s photography show is opening Thursday in Portland,” she starts her
sentence, enunciating the word ‘friend’. My mind goes to the fucking
photographer who has had eyes and tongue on my woman the second after I met
her. The mention of his name stills my hands on her breasts automatically. She
steels herself with a deep breath.
“Yes, what about
it?” I ask sternly not liking the idea of that fucker entering in the shower even
in a conversation when the two of us are naked and intimate.
“I said I would
go. Do you want to come with me?” she asks. The last thing I want to do is to
put my girl in the touching distance of that fucker. But it appears that she
has made up her mind to go. If I say no, she’d go alone even if I were to
prohibit her knowing how disobedient she can be, and that’d be worse, and I’d
be eating myself up the whole time. If, however I’m there, I can control the
situation. I reluctantly make up my mind
telling myself ‘compromise Grey, compromise. That’s what she needs.’ She
doesn’t even know what lengths I would go to be with her, to keep her safe, to
keep her mine, and mine alone.
I start washing
her again finally after making up my mind to acquiesce.
“What time?” I
ask.
“The opening is
at 7:30 p.m.” she responds.
I kiss her ear.
“Okay,” I say
softly. With this one word response, all the tension leaves her body as she
almost sags into my hands.
“Were you
nervous about asking me?” I question her.
“Yes. How can
you tell?”
“Your entire
body just relaxed Anastasia,” I tell her dryly.
“Well, you just
seem to be, uhmm... on the bit of a jealous side,” she puts it mildly. You have
no idea darling!
“Yes, I am,” I
say darkly. “And you’d do well to remember that. But thank you for asking.
We’ll take Charlie Tango,” I say being in control again.
“Can I wash
you?” she asks. Although I want her to touch me badly, I can’t bear to have
hands on me...not yet.
“I don’t think
so,” I murmur, and her face falls in hurt and disappointment. I kiss her gently
on her neck trying to ease the refusal, letting her know that I still want her.
I caress her back with the soap.
“Will you ever
let me touch you? She asks longing. I am not ready to answer that question yet.
I still, and avoid the question while my hands are still on her behind.
“Put your hands
on the wall Anastasia. I’m going to take you again,” I murmur in her ear as I
grab her hips, and the discussion is effectively over as we’re both lost to our
ecstasy.
Once we’re out
of the shower, I wrap a warmed up fluffy towel around my waist, and I quickly
grab another one and dry Anastasia. We’re soon dressed in bathrobes and out in
the kitchen seated at the breakfast bar. Mrs. Jones has fixed an excellent
pasta alle vongole.
Holding up the
bottle of Sancerre I ask Anastasia, “more wine?” as my eyes glowing with so
many different emotions.
“A small glass
please,” she replies.
She finally
gathers the courage to ask me the question that’s been bothering her for some
time.
“How’s the,
uhmmm... the situation that brought you to Seattle?” she asks tentatively
making me frown. I don’t want to remember Leila’s attempted suicide, especially
when she’s still missing, creating a possible danger to herself, and possibly
to others.
“Out of hand,” I
murmur without being able to avoid the bitterness in my tone. “But it’s nothing
for you to worry about Anastasia. I have plans for you this evening,” I say
effectively distracting her.
“Oh?” is her
questioning response.
“Yes. I want you
ready and waiting in my playroom in fifteen minutes,” I say standing up and
gazing down at her.
“You can get
ready in your room. By the way, your walk-in closet is now full of clothes for
you. I don’t want any arguments about it,” I say narrowing my eyes with the
intensity that’s been brought up with our current discussion, daring her to
refuse. By all means, argue with me, and soothe my twitching palms. She says
nothing, and looks back impassively. Good! I walk back to my study.
I find my iPod
and my iPod radio transmitter and the remote for it. I go to my room, and in my
closet I locate my soft, over washed ripped jeans that I only use in my Play
Room. I divest myself of all clothing except my jeans. I leave the top button
undone. I slowly make my way to the Play Room. I want Anastasia to anticipate;
the more she waits, the more she anticipates. When I come to the heavy door of
my Play Room, I quickly open it, and close it after I get in. I breeze through
the room, and completely ignore Anastasia who is sitting in her panties in the
submissive position. I make my way to the chest by the door and place the iPod
and the transmitter on it. Then I stroll toward the bed. The scene I have
planned for Anastasia today requires me to cuff her hands and feet. I check the
cuffs on the bedposts. Then I stroll back to the chest of drawers. I open one
of them and take out a fur glove, a flogger with leather strands and beads at
their ends, placing them on the top.
I finally walk
back to Anastasia and stand before her. Her head bowed, sitting on her heels,
her hand placed on her laps fingers spread wide, her hair falling in cascades,
only in her panties. She’s a sight to behold, and beyond beautiful and
arousing.
“You look
lovely,” I breathe. She keeps her head down as I stare at her intently. A lovely flush slowly creeps up on
her face which usually happens when she’s embarrassed, feeling my gaze on her.
How often will I tell her that she’s beautiful? She should not be embarrassed
of her own beauty. I bend down and cup her chin forcing her face up to meet my
intent gaze, willing her to believe.
“You are one
beautiful woman, Anastasia,” I say fervently. “And you are all mine,” I murmur
as relief floods with the knowledge that this is my woman, and that she’s back
here, with me, trying to please me.
“Stand up,” I
command softly. As I gaze at the beauty before me, I realize my voice is full
of sensual promise.
She shakily gets
up to her feet.
“Look at me,” I
breathe, and she finally raises her blue eyes into my smoldering gray gaze. I
look at her as her Dom, as her master I am in this room, and I know that my
stare is cold, hard, I will-do-as-I-wish-with-you-here sinful gaze and her
responding stare is sexy, expectant and wanting. Her mouth slightly opens as
shallow gasps fill her lung, and her tongue travels out for a second in a bid
to wet her dry mouth. An almost cruel smile plays on my lips as I know what she
wants. And what she wants is me and what I will do to her.
“We don’t have a
signed contract Anastasia. But, you know we’ve discussed limits. I want to
reiterate we have safewords, okay?”
Her gaze changes
one of excitement, and fear.
“What are they?”
I ask her with authority.
She frowns slightly
at my question, and her hesitation makes my face harden. She needs to know and
be able to use the safewords should she need it.
“What are the
safewords, Anastasia?” I ask slowly and deliberately.
“Yellow,” she
mumbles first.
“And?” I prompt
as my mouth sets in a hard line. We have more than one safeword.
“Red,” she
breathes after my prompt.
“Remember
those,” I warn. Then she raises her eyebrows in her smarting expression, and
that is not allowed in my Play Room. But my glare changes to one of a frosty
and an icy glint, and she stops in her tracks, and her smarting expression
seizes, effectively stopping her in her tracks.
“Don’t start
with your smart mouth in here, Miss Steele. Or I will fuck it with you on your
knees. Do you understand?” I ask her firmly.
She swallows
hard, and blinks rapidly, after being effectively chastened. The tone of my voice and the threat it promises changes her demeanor to one of obedient. (←Here I am Baby by UB40)
“Well?” I
prompt.
“Yes, sir,” she
mumbles hastily.
“Good girl,” I
say, pausing and staring at her.
“My intention is
not that you should safeword because you’re in pain. What I intend to do to you
will be intense. Very intense, and you have to guide me. Do you understand?” I
ask.
Her eyes widen,
bewildered.
“This is about
touch Anastasia. You won’t be able to hear me, or see me. Buy you’ll be able to
feel me.” I say. She frowns. I turn to face the music center. I wave my hand in
front, and the housing containing the stereo splits open in half. As the two
doors slide open, they reveal the CD player and the complicated stereo system.
I set it up to receive transmission from the radio transmitter I will use linking
the iPod to the stereo and the surround sound, and I put the song I intend to
play on repeat. Anastasia however will only hear it through the earbuds I’ll be
putting on her ears to eliminate any other noise she can hear intensifying the
sensation. I see her mystified look from my peripheral vision. I turn back to face
her again, and I have my I-have-a-secret smile on my face.
“I’m going to
tie you to the bed, Anastasia. But I’m going to blindfold you first and,” I say
revealing the iPod in my hand, “you won’t be able to hear me. All you will hear
is the music I’m going to play for you.”
She’s surprised
as usual, and that’s an expression I love on her.
“Come,” I say
taking her head leading her to the four poster bed. She sees the shackles I’ve
attached to each corner, with fine metal and leather cuffs which glint against
the red sating covering the antique bed.
She looks
aroused and excited. Good! This is a combination I like a lot on her.
“Stand here,” I
say leaving her facing the bed. I lean down and whisper in her ear.
“Wait here. Keep
your eyes on the bed. Picture yourself lying here bound and totally at my
mercy.” Her breath hitches at the thought. I fetch the flog I chose to use, and
the furry glove. I quickly make my way back to her, and I’m immediately behind
her. I take her hair, and pull it into a ponytail, and start braiding it after
separating it into three strands.
“While I like
your pigtails, Anastasia, but I am too impatient to be at you right now. So one
will have to do,” I say in a low soft voice.
As I braid her
hair, my fingers occasionally work their way down her hair skimming her back.
Each touch brings an electric jolt to my body as our connection establishes. I
fasten the end of her hair with a tie, and tug at the braid forcing her to step
back flushing against me. I pull again this time to the side, so that she
angles her head to the side, giving me easier access to her neck.
I lean down and
nuzzle her neck, tracing my teeth and tongue from the base of her ear to her
shoulder. I hum softly as I do, and she closes her eyes in pleasure and I know
it is coursing through her body because she shudders, and groans quietly.
“Hush now,” I
breathe against her skin. I hold up my hands in front of her as my arms are
touching hers. I show her the flogger that’s in my right hand.
“Touch it,” I
whisper devilishly, wanting her to know what I intend to do. Heat courses
through her body as I feel the change from our connected bodies. She reaches
out tentatively, and brushes the long strands with her fingers. She feels the
soft suede fronds with small beads at the end.
“I will use
this. It will not hurt but it will bring your blood to the surface of your skin
and make you very sensitive.”
“What are the
safe words, Anastasia?”
“Uhm… Yellow and
red, Sir,” she whispers.
“Good girl.
Remember, most of your fear is in your mind.”
I drop the
flogger on the bed, and my hands move to her waist.
“You won’t be
needing these,” I murmur as I hook my fingers into her panties and sweep them
down divesting her of them. She unsteadily steps out of them as she supports
herself on the bed post.
“Stand still,” I
order, and kiss her behind and gently nip both her cheeks which tense her body.
“Now lie down.
Face up,” I say smacking her hard on the behind and making her jump.
She quickly
crawls onto the bed’s mattress, and lie down looking up at me. My gaze is
impassive giving nothing away. My eyes are glowing with barely leashed
excitement.
“Hands above
your head,” I order, and she does as she’s asked.
I turn and go
back to the chest of drawers, and return with the iPod and eye mask. She has a
look of anticipation on her face. I sit on the edge of the bed and show her the
iPod. The iPod has an antenna along with the headphones which transmits what is
being played to the stereo which in returns played around the surround sound.
She looks confused, trying to decipher its function.
“This transmits
what’s playing on the iPod to the system in the room,” I answer her quizzical
stare tapping the small antenna.
“I can hear what
you are hearing, and I have a remote control unit for it,” I say smirking. In
fact I have a remote control to her libido as she has one for mine. I lean
across her and insert the ear buds gently into her ears, and put the iPod down
away from accidental touch above her head.
“Lift your
head,” I command and she obeys immediately. I slowly slide the mask on, pulling
the elastic over the back of her head, and she’s now devoid of sense of sight.
Since I haven’t turned the music on, she can still hear me, though muffled
because the earbuds act as earplugs. I rise from the bed. I take her left arm,
gently stretch it to the left corner of the bed and cuff her wrist with the
leather cuffs. She looks simply delicious like this, completely at my beckoning.
I stroke the length of her arm once I finish cuffing her wrist. I move to the
other side and taking her right arm, cuff her right wrist. I run my fingers
over her arm again feeling the exquisite connection between us. She’s brimming
with erotic excitement.
I then move to
the bottom of the bed, and grab both of her ankles.
“Lift your head
again,” I order.
She complies
immediately, and I drag her down the bed stretching her out, nearly strained at
the cuffs. This way, she won’t be able to move her arms. Expectation and
brimming exhilaration makes Anastasia groan. I part her legs; first I cuff her
right ankle and then her left stretching her spread-eagled, completely sexy to
do as I wish with her. The fact that she gives me the authority to do this, and
that she trusts me is extremely arousing. I look at my handiwork. Knowing that
she’s my woman and she’s extremely sexy is both breathtaking and mouthwatering.
I turn the iPod on. I have always wanted to fuck to Spem In Alium, or the Forty Part Motet, by Thomas Tallis. (←Spem In Alium by Thomas Tallis) A celestial choir is singing
this piece, and it’s a very soothing. The song itself means “Hope in any other”
and it is oddly appropriate for me and Anastasia, because she gives me hope. It
is such a song that it occupies the mind, and disarming and the listener won’t
be able to think anything else; in this case it will give Anastasia a sensory
overload. And for what I have in mind for her, I want her to experience this with
all her senses, and every sense overloaded.
I put the fur
glove on my right hand. Slowly and leisurely I start soft brushes against her
neck, running languidly down her throat, across her chest at a slow pace, over
her breasts, caressing her making her hyper aware of her body. I start pulling
on her nipples, elongating them sensually, softly, skimming underneath them.
My hand trails
her body, at a leisurely and deliberate pace, down to her belly, circling her
navel, then carefully from hip to hip, across her pubic hair, between her legs,
along her thighs, down to one leg, and then up from the other. The sensation is
making her aware of herself, and it’s not harsher than a soft tickle. I keep my
movements in line with the voices in the music.
I move the fur down
to her arms, and around her waist, finally completing the circuit going back up
to her breast. Her nipples harden under my touch, almost bloom. She starts
panting. When I know she’s aroused, I immediately take the fur glove off, and
take the flogger into my hand, and let the fronds flow over her skin, following
the same path as the fur glove. The music continues and repeats as many angelic
voices in the choir rise and fall in a silken, smooth, ethereal tone. The soft
suede of the fronds of the flogger continue to travel, and at the right moment
when the voices rise, I lift the flogger up and sharply land it on her belly.
The unexpected movement makes her cry out:
“Aaagghh!” she
yelps; the sound is a result of the surprise the feeling provides, and not from
hurt. I hit her again, harder this time.
“Aah!” she cries
out again.
I can see that
she wants to move under the bites of the flogger, writhing. The arms and legs
are firmly held in place within the constraints of the cuffs and shackles. I
strike her across her breast this time, and the sudden movement makes her cry
out. Each hit draws the blood to the surface, making her body hyper sensitive.
I place every blow in perfect counterpoint to the music, combining something
heavenly with something dark, pulling, and calling the darker feelings and
desires inside her. It’s like a perfect union between me and Anastasia; the
light and dark angels. The sensation she’s feeling is completely erotic
addressing something unmet in me, making me high and higher getting me to a
place of ecstasy. I hit her across her hip, then move in swift blows over her
pubic hair, on her thighs, and down to her inner thighs, and back up to her
body again…across her hips. I keep going on and on in tone with the music until
it stops…once the music starts again, I start raining the bites of the flogger
over her body…and she groans and writhes under the fronds. Her breathing
becomes wild, but also her body is yearning for more, completely alert and
wanting, and desirous. The excitement in me is paramount and I can see that she
can barely contain hers. A very carnal moan escapes her lips.
I drop the
flogger and the bed moves and shifts as I clamber over her. Once the song
starts again, my nose and lips take the place of the flogger. Running down her
neck and throat, kissing, sucking as I trail down to her breast, taunting each
nipple in turn as my tongue swirling round one as my fingers relentlessly tease
and elongate the other… She groans loudly, feeling is high under my touches,
and the overwhelming sensation, making her want more, getting lost in my movements.
I move down to
her belly. My tongue is circling her navel following my previous path of the
fur and the flogger. I’m kissing and sucking and nibbling as I make my way to
the south of her body. My tongue finally reaches the grand prize, at the junction
of her thighs. She throws her head back and cries out in near orgasm. I know
she’s on the brink, but I don’t want her to come under my tongue. I stop for
the feeling to subside just a notch. She’s ready to be thoroughly fucked. I
quickly divest myself out of the jeans.
I kneel between
her legs, and I remove the cuffs from her left ankle. She pulls her leg to the
middle of the bed, resting against me. I lean to the opposite ankle, and free
it from its confines. My hands travel quickly down both her legs, squeezing and
kneading, and letting blood flow in them. I then grasp her hips and lift her
off the bed and her back is no longer on the bed. She arches her back,
completely resting on her shoulders.
I kneel up
between her legs, and in one swift slamming movement I’m inside her making her
cry out again. I know that she’s already aroused and close to orgasm, and when
she comes to the brink of orgasm I still, and wait till her quiver dies.
“Please!” she
wails.
I grip her
harder in warning. My fingers are digging into the soft flesh of her behind as
she lies panting. She stills after my warning. Very slowly, I start to move
again. In and then out, agonizingly slow. The choral piece is sung in rising
and falling voices, and when the song picks up pace, so do I, completely
controlling my movements, and both of our feelings, utterly in time with the
music.
“Please,
Christian,” she begs, and it too is my undoing. I lower her back onto the bed
in one swift move, and I’m lying on top of her, my hands on the bed beside her
breasts as I support my weight, and I thrust into her. As the music reaches its
climax so do we, and I fall into an intense orgasm right after Anastasia’s
thrusting hard into her three more times after she reaches her climax. I
finally still, and then collapse on top of her.
When the
quivering feeling subsides, I pull out of her, and the music stops after I
press the stop button on the remote. I stretch across her body as I undo the
cuff from her right and then the left wrist. She groans as her hands are freed. I
gently pull the mask from her eyes, and then remove the ear buds. She blinks
and stares up into my gray eyes with her baby blues.
“Hi,” I murmur.
“Hi, yourself,”
she breathes shyly back at me. My lips quirks up into a smile, and I lean down
and kiss her softly.
“Well done,
you,” I whisper.
“Turn over.”
Her eyes go wide
as if she’s asking incredulous ‘you still want more?’
kind of stare.
“I’m just going
to rub your shoulders.”
“Oh… okay.”
She rolls
stiffly onto her front, quite tired. I sit astride her and start massaging her
shoulders. She groans loudly in pleasure under my expert hands. I lean down,
and kiss her head.
“What was that
music?” she mumbles, tired, sleepy and nearly inarticulately.
“It’s called Spem
In Alium, or the Forty Part Motet, by Thomas Tallis.”
“It was…” she
say pausing looking for the right word, “overwhelming.”
“I’ve always
wanted to fuck to it.”
“Not another
first, Mr. Grey?”
“Indeed, Miss
Steele.”
She groans as I
continue to massage her shoulders.
“Well, it’s the first
time I’ve fucked to it, too,” she murmurs sleepily.
“Hmm... you and I are giving many firsts to each other,” I
state the fact.
“What did I say to you in my sleep, Ch… uhm, Sir?” she
corrects herself.
My hands pause in the midst of my ministrations for a moment.
“You said lots of things, Anastasia. You talked about cages,
and strawberries… that you wanted more… and that you missed me.” I say leaving
out the most important detail.
“Is that all?” she asks with relief in her voice.
I stop the massage and shift to lie next to her; I prop my
head on my elbow, frowning. I want her to say it when she is coherent, awake to
my face.
“What did you think you’d said?” I ask.
“That I thought you were ugly, conceited, and that you were
hopeless in bed.”
I frown even more.
“Well, naturally I am all those things, and now you’ve got me
really intrigued. What are you hiding from me, Miss Steele?”
She blinks innocently. Say it, Miss Steele! Please, say it to
me…when I’m here with you.
“I’m not hiding anything.
“Anastasia, you’re a hopeless liar,” I say.
“I thought you were going to make me giggle after sex; this
isn’t doing it for me.”
My lips quirks up in a smile.
“I can’t tell jokes.”
“Mr. Grey! Something you can’t do?” she grins at me and I
grin back at her.
“No, hopeless joke teller,” I say proudly of myself and she
starts to giggle.
“I’m a hopeless joke teller, too,” she chimes in.
“That’s such a lovely sound,” I murmur, and then I lean
forward and kiss her.
“And you are hiding something, Anastasia. I may have to
torture it out of you.”
I stare at her, and I love the way she is giggling, and but I
so desire her to tell me that she will stay.
We finally fall asleep, gazing at each other, and I’m holding
her in my Play Room. Completely
oblivious to the world and the problems it’s giving me. Just me and my
Anastasia. In this state of complete peace, on top of the world in the midst of the chaos and the storms of my fuckedup life experiencing this momentary tranquality; just my girl and I, in bed together. Problems are waiting just outside the door; but right now, at this moment in time, I care for nothing, think of no one, except Anastasia. (←I'm on Top of the World by The Carpenters)
So excited!!!! I am taking lunch right now!!! :)
ReplyDeleteJill
Emine,
ReplyDeleteI’m not sure my words will accurately describe the depth of emotion I felt as I was reading. With each chapter, the connection between you and our beloved, Mr. Grey has grown. And with this chapter, you have truly found Christian’s voice. And knowing what the next chapter brings…oh my, I’m not sure my heart can take it. Thank you for telling his story. As I read this post today, I had “Songs from a Secret Garden” playing in the background on repeat, of course… I will go back and listen to your musical selection, later. “Well done, you!”
I've been waiting fir this!! It feels like Christmas!! Thank you!!!!
ReplyDeleteYou have done my favorite chapter proud...AMAZING!!!
ReplyDeleteI can't wait till Friday...I feel like a kid that is waiting to see Santa. You are doing a great job keep it up.
I've been waiting for this post all weekend long! I can't wait for the next chapter, and I can't wait for you to start on fifty shades darker! Once again great chapter!
ReplyDeleteWOW!!!! SO MUCH EMOTION. LOVE IT CAN AND CAN'T WAIT TILL FRIDAY. I KNOW WHEN I READ THE NEXT CHAPTER OR SO IN THE BOOK I FELT ANA'S PAIN AND SUFFERING BUT I AM SO CURIOUS TO SEE HOW YOU PORTRAY CHRISTIAN'S YOUR AN AMAZING WRITER. :)
ReplyDeletewill you also be doing book to in Christian's POV???
ReplyDeletebook 2 i mean?
ReplyDeleteBeautiful!!
ReplyDeleteI am so glad to have found your blog Emine, you are a gifted writer.
I am preparing for the final chapter...box of kleenex ready.
Thank You so very much for bringing Christian's pov to us.
I think I have to stop reading for a few weeks so that I am not so disappointed when I am done reading the chapter. You have definitely done Christian justice! Fantastic :)
ReplyDeleteYou do a great job of telling the story in Christians pov. Thanks for all your hard work :) And now I'm stoked that you will be writing the second book too!
ReplyDeleteEmine,fantastic work... You have Christian down to a tee... Looking forward to the next chapter. Can't wait.
ReplyDeleteKathy Australia
Emine you are like the best friend I've never met but always wanted in my life. You write Christians character as I always saw him when I read the books for the first time so many months ago. It's a welcomed treat to see the new updates and always look forward to it. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteP.s. I think Ian Somerhadler for Christian that's who I dream of when I read the story. ( and I wouldn't mind being his Ana ;) would you?). Lol.
Thanks again Tash ox
Just found this site a couple days ago...thank you for writing Christian's POV. I'm very glad to hear you will be continuing onto the the next book!! :)
ReplyDeleteHello Ani, Desiree, Kathy, Tash and Anonymous! Thank you all for your sweestest remarks :)
ReplyDeleteHey Tash - I feel the same way about the many wonderful people I’ve met from around the globe. Had it not been for C&A, this wouldn’t have been possible.
Anyhow, as I've been working on the very last chapter, I've had to take several breaks from writing because it became really overwhelming because the emotions Christian was feeling were extremely raw and painful. I couldn't be detached, and neither would I want to be if I wanted to express him completely. I'm now just a few pages away from finishing it. Completely heartbreaking! My only solace is that I'm looking forward to their reunion after he sorts his shit out (as Ana put it - ah, the serenity!)
But along the way, in the course of this first book, I humbly admit that I've learned quite a lot from Christian as well as Ana. My fervent hope that you've learned something as well by getting into Christian's mind, and hope that you don’t judge a book by the cover in the future. I have learned to hold my prejudices until I've heard something all the way through as opposed to unleashing it full force, and walked in someone else's shoes - namely Christian's. And of course, there is nothing sweeter than redemption, as you’ll see demonstrated.
From another point of view, I have realized this: Christian is a man of means (which everyone knows), handsome (also known), possesses great sexual proves (kudos), which means he can have just about anyone he so desires. Anyone! I was on my observant, speculative mood this past week, and observed women from many different backgrounds and countries in Las Vegas. Perfect place to find all of that packed in one single city.
I mean, an ordinary person's ego can take a dent easily there, because there are so many beautiful, perfectly manicured, tucked, and shaped and filled in all the right places with clothes out of spray can women prowling around Vegas donning megabucks designer attire. (I made my husband go out at night to observe more so I can write better – as you know; the big predators only come out at night). Some of the clothes women wore were probably less than size 0, and not even my skeleton would fit into them! Of course, I made sure I've visited expensive shops as well where one single purse could cost an average person's yearly salary (I've had friends whose purse and shoe budget in a month were bigger than my combined monthly expenses in my household here).
At night I also watched from my 7th floor room, private jets land into the airport (assume one of them was Christian's) when I was writing the last chapter - remember it's called complete immersion.
What I want all of you to see is that Christian can merge his money with some other heiress who is also beautiful, who is used to his highlife style and may not have eyes on his money because she already has her own, or find an excellent submissive who will do his bidding without so much a peep; someone more beautiful, more educated, with more money with more anything than Ana. Yet, what he finds in her is not a perfect specimen of woman, but someone who is perfect for him (that’s his key to happiness).
That's why love is such an integral part of this novel. Beauty, money, submissiveness, status etc. could not equal or even come close to "LOVE" that Christian and Ana are feeling towards each other. That's why the breakup is devastating, but it's the best thing Anastasia does for their relationship to work: She holds Christian responsible, and that one act alone forces Christian to grow up overnight. He's forced to get off his ivory tower.
We get to witness his emotional metamorphosis into a grown man. Sweet!
I am so glad I found this blogsite! You are awesome! Thanks for doing what you do and being so awesome at it! Looking forward to the last chapter of the first book and First chapter of the second book!!!!
ReplyDeleteI think Michelle Trachtenberg should play Ana in the movie !! Just saying , I gotta search for Christian
ReplyDeleteWOW! I just found your blog, LOVE IT!!!! I hope you will continue to the other 2 books.?
ReplyDeleteEmine
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree with your statement more. I think you have a true gift and understanding for our Christian. Kudos to you and your passion because it helps to fuel out own during out him-drum day-to-day. To think I might have gone mad waiting for either another series or the movie to be released.
"I thank devine providence" for the day I found you blog.
Cathryn
One more day until another post!! I keep checking every hour with high hopes! :)
ReplyDeleteits so late for me to read... i was away and not be able to have proper connection to read it comfortably..... oh my... first book is coming to the end... and i cant wait for the next book... i will updating the other version faster then i used to..... thanx for your comment in AFF..., my heart broke before reading Ana leavin' christian... i dont know how will i handle the feeling from his POV...
ReplyDeleteThank you......
I cant wait Emine!!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much!! We are experiencing a heat wave here... well, heat wave for NE PA!! I may have somehting to read being pooside after work today!!!
Keeping fingers crossed!!
Jill
EmIne, I think your retelling the story from Christian's point of view has been extraordinary. Your writing surpassed my expectations and I can't wait to read the next chapter. I know you are focused on this storyline but I am confident that you could do an amazing E/S story some day!
ReplyDeleteChar
I am contemplating whether to eat my lunch before the last chapter or not and whether to go out with the dog or not... Choices, choices...
ReplyDeleteI, too, am such a person that immerses herself in her writing so I know what you mean.